I breathed in the scent of skin at his neck. He ran a hand over my messy hair as the anxiousness settled.
“How often does your father ring you?” he asked.
“Every month or two.” I stayed cuddled close while he continued to caress my hair.
“Right, then. How about this? We know he checks to be certain it’s safe on your end. So each time he rings, you can contact me afterward straightaway.”
“Deal,” I said, and pressed my lips to his neck. He held me tighter.
“It’s nine thirty,” he said with reluctance. “I’ve got to go to practice. Will you join me?”
I smiled up at him. Watching Kaidan play? “Sure.”
Oh, wow.
Oh, great goodness. I’d forgotten what watching Kaidan at the drums did to me. He was only warming up while the other guys tuned their instruments, and I already needed a fan.
I looked around the room at the other people sitting and standing—mostly girls but a few guys, too. One girl gave me a little smile and I smiled back before she returned to gazing at the lead singer, Michael.
The bassist went up to Kai when he finished his set, and I nosily stuck out my hearing.
“You brought a chick?” the guy whispered.
“Yeah.”
The guy grinned. “Man, you haven’t brought a girl in forever.”
“Your point, Raj?” Kaidan ran a hand over the drum’s top.
“Nothin’. She’s pretty hot. You bang her yet?”
Okay, go away, Raj.
Kaidan gave him a steely stare. “Nosy git, aren’t you?”
Raj laughed and pointed at Kai. “Dude. You got it bad if you won’t give any deets. I thought you and Anna were—”
“Nope.” Kaidan cut him off and cleared his throat just as Michael called them all together, and Raj left him alone.
I was biting my lip when Kai looked at me with a worried expression. I sent him a small smile for reassurance. I wasn’t going to get upset, even if hearing her mentioned did turn my stomach.
Kaidan raised the drumsticks above his head to count off the first song, and Michael stopped it after a few seconds because someone was off-key. It had sounded great to me, which showed how little I knew about making music. They started again, and the core of my body tightened when Kai went into musician mode. I could see the very moment when he stopped thinking and lost himself in it. I wondered if he could keep drumming with me on his lap.
He was my drummer. My guy. Mine. I bit my lip to hold back a grin.
The door of the practice room opened during the song and a few people shuffled out of the way. A cute girl with short blond hair came in. She leaned against the wall and crossed her arms, a yellow aura surrounding her petite frame. I was just about to turn my attention back to the band when a stream of red bled into her aura. She was staring hard.
At Kaidan.
I should have looked away, but a gross sense of raging jealousy and morbid curiosity filled me. I knew it was the other Anna. She chewed the tip of her thumb and soon her whole aura was red. I wanted so badly to use my silent power of persuasion to make her leave, but I wouldn’t.
Go. Away. Stop staring at him. Go away, go away, go away.
It felt like evil banshees were clawing my insides. The other Anna was probably a very nice girl, but I wanted to scour her skin and rip from her body every cell that had had any contact with Kaidan.
At the end of the song she clapped and said, “That was awesome, guys.” Clearly, she was tight with the band, and they all beamed at her praise. Except Kaidan. He’d frozen in place, staring down at the drums.
A horrid moment of awkwardness passed where everyone seemed to put two and two together. The whole room was glancing back and forth between Kaidan and us two Annas, although the other Anna seemed oblivious until her eyes landed on me and she realized I was new. Her head flicked to Kaidan real fast, then she made eye contact with me. As she stared, her aura turned a vile green.
The girl next to her whispered something, but Anna ignored her, instead walking up to Kaidan in her jean shorts and lavender fitted T. I sat up straight on the edge of my chair. Kaidan watched her, his face serious.
“Is that her?” Anna asked. She was being quiet, and I was totally eavesdropping again.
“Yes,” Kaidan answered.
“You could have freaking warned me she was coming.”
“I didn’t know until today. And you don’t usually come to practices anyhow.”
“So . . . what? Now you’re, like, suddenly with her? After you were just with me?”
“I was never with you, Anna. I explained everything, which you seemed to understand. Now’s not the best time to chat.”
“Nice.” She huffed. “Real nice.”
Kaidan ran a hand through his hair, appearing frustrated.
Michael spoke up from his spot at the mic. “Yo, Anna. We’re trying to practice here.”
She shot him a no-crap glare and then turned and walked briskly from the room, wiping her eyes and not looking back.
So, this is what it was like being with Kaidan, huh? I did believe that he’d been honest with her, but even if she’d pretended to accept it, she’d obviously been holding out hope in her heart that they’d get together. I felt bad for her—just another victim of our screwed-up circumstances. But still, I was glad she was gone now.
The relief in the room was palpable, even though a few people continued to whisper as the band started the next set. It was hard to get back into the music after that bit of drama. I was glad when practice ended.
He came straight down to me after they’d packed the band equipment. I ignored the few starers around us.
“I didn’t know she’d be here,” Kaidan whispered. Guilt shrouded his face.
“Let’s just go back to your place and not think about it. Please.”
He reached for my hand and held it as we walked through the building. But out in the open we instinctually let go and searched the darkened skies for something much worse than angry exes.
When we got back to his apartment we didn’t talk about it. In fact, we didn’t talk about anything. When the door shut behind us, he took my face in his hands and kissed me as if he wanted to prove there was no one else for him—as if the harder we kissed and grasped, the more we could erase all memories of other people from both our minds. We were more ravenous for each other than ever, sliding against walls and running into furniture on our way to his room.
I had no plans for sleep that night, because that meant I couldn’t be consciously touching him and kissing him and soaking in every second of this time with him.
For hours he kissed me. And I kissed him back.
At nearly three in the morning sleepiness weighted my body as we lay there together so still. I heard his breathing even out as we both hovered in that place between wake and sleep. And then his hand wandered lazily down my back and over my hip until he was cupping the full curve of my behind, part of me that he’d actively avoided touching all night.
Scratch that sleepy thing.
His firm hands clutched me closer and I breathed a heady gust of air at his throat. I’d been careful all night not to be too vocal about how good his touches felt. I knew each noise would act as fuel, making it even harder for him. He rolled to his back, pulling me on top of him with both hands fully on my backside now.
“Kaidan,” I whispered.
Looking half-asleep, he shushed me with a hot kiss, pulling my hips to crush us together. I whimpered into his mouth.
“God, those little sounds,” he said against my lips. “I want to hear how you sound when I make you—”
“Kai!” I practically leaped off him, and he sat up, eyes blazing, licking his lips. I was breathing hard. He had to be as tired as me after our long day, and it was starting to weaken us big-time. Oh, how I’d love to indulge that weakness.
I scooted farther away.
“Maybe we should try to get some sleep,” I suggested, though I was fe
eling wide-awake now.
He stared at me with roaring passion. “I think a third shower might be necessary,” he said.
A silly laugh wanted to escape me, but there was no humor in his eyes. Only want.
I cleared my throat, spotting our brownie dishes. I gathered everything and rushed from the room, not returning until I heard the water running.
A T-shirt and flannel pajama shorts were not sexy, I told myself as I looked down at my outfit. But when he came out of the bathroom, shirtless with his hair wet, and took in the sight of me sitting on his bed, I felt as if I were wearing something silky and minuscule. I guess the shower hadn’t helped much.
“I should probably sleep on the couch,” I offered.
Please say no.
“No.” His eyes raked me a moment more before he blinked and swallowed. “We only have one night. I want you here with me.” He walked around to the opposite side of the bed. I flicked off the bedside lamp, and dim light from streetlamps spilled through the slats in his blinds. A definite tension permeated the space between us. Moving slowly, we both lifted the covers and slid beneath.
“Come here,” he whispered, reaching out for me. I moved in closer until we shared the same pillow, our bodies as close as they could be without touching. We faced each other, breathing in the same small space of air. As my eyes adjusted to the darkness, I searched his face, and he searched mine.
“You’re eighteen now,” he whispered.
“Yeah,” I whispered back. “Yippee.”
He snorted and scraped a hand through his damp hair. “Do you remember when you came to that record store in Atlanta last summer and you said all I had to do was say the word . . . ?”
“And I’d be yours.” I tried not to squirm with excitement. “Yes, I remember.”
“I . . .” He swallowed and I lay my hand on his chest, feeling his heartbeats quicken. “I want to . . . cripe, I sound like an idiot. What’ve you done to me?” He cleared his throat and started again, a fiery passion in his darkened eyes. “The thing is, I can’t share you. I need you to be mine. Only mine. When I think of someone else touching you—”
He broke off and made a low sound that sent shivers down my skin.
“Are you saying the word?” I blurted.
He closed his eyes and let out a breathy laugh. My heart soared.
“You want to be my boyfriend?”
He cringed. “Ugh. That bleedin’ word.”
I threw my arms around him. I couldn’t hold back the smile. I wanted to jump on his bed and sing. It was a stupid label, but there was power in those possessive words: boyfriend and girlfriend.
“So,” he said.
“So,” I repeated, still grinning.
“Let it be clear. This means no more snogging other people,” he told me.
“Or sleeping with them,” I added.
We both tensed. His jaw worked, and he nodded. “Or that, yes.”
“Unless . . .” I distanced myself enough to see his face. “When we have to work, Kaidan—”
“I’m not working anymore.” His voice was resolute, which terrified me. He wasn’t in a position to defy his father or cause the whisperers to suspect him. He’d never get away with it.
“I wouldn’t consider it cheating,” I said gently. He opened his mouth to protest and I hurried on. “I know you don’t want to work, and neither do I. I’m proud of how strong you’ve been, but if there’s ever a time when it’s necessary, I would understand.”
He looked away.
“You act as if the idea of me working doesn’t bother you.” The underlying hurt in his tone stabbed at me and I took his hand, needing him to understand. I swallowed down a lump of bile.
“I hate it, Kaidan. I can’t stand the thought of it. I want to, like, stab something when I think about that other Anna.” His eyebrows went up in alarm. “Sorry. That was psycho. All I’m saying is that working is better than the alternative. If it comes down to life or death, I need you to choose life. I know you wouldn’t do anything if you didn’t have to. I trust you.”
“You trust me,” he whispered. He threaded his fingers into the hair at my temple, an expression of fearful amazement on his face, as if my trust were a gift he’d never expected to receive and one he’d live in fear of losing.
“I don’t deserve you.” His forearm flexed and his hand left my hair as he rolled onto his back, staring at the ceiling with his hands on his chest. “I’ve never deserved you.”
My insides clenched. “Kai . . . it’s not about deserving. You don’t have to try to prove yourself. I know where your heart is.”
“Of course you can easily say that because you don’t know all I’ve done or all I still want to do. My urges—”
I pressed a finger to his lips. “I wouldn’t love you any less. Right now it’s about moving forward and healing. And, to be honest, I’m ashamed of the things I’ve done this year, and the image I’ve created—like I don’t care about anything but partying—but it’s kept me alive, and I’ve tried to make amends where I can. I hate living a lie.”
“Yes,” he whispered.
He closed his eyes and I pushed myself up, leaning over his face. I ran my fingers across the stubble on his cheeks and brushed the pads of my thumbs over his long, black lashes, making his eyes twitch. Touching him because I could. Because he allowed me to see his insecurities.
“My boyfriend is so sweet,” I whispered. “And not bad looking, either.”
An oncoming grin worked the corners of his mouth, and he rolled toward me. I snuggled down with him, our limbs automatically reaching out to make claim, entwining, regardless of our earlier silent pact to keep distance between us.
“My girlfriend is a party-girl angel who can kick some arse and cook.”
I laughed and placed one last peck on his lips. We lay there with our faces close until we drifted to sleep. Together.
The room was dark and quiet when I awoke. I glanced bleary-eyed at the clock, which read 5:23, wondering if Kaidan had spoken in his sleep. And then I heard it again.
“Daughter of Belial.”
Kaidan and I both shot up in bed, and I snatched the leather-clad hilt from his nightstand.
A whisperer with its wings outstretched hung above us. Even after I adjusted my eyes and noticed his feline features, my heart still slammed in my throat.
My voice shook when I said, “Azael.” I dropped the hilt in my lap and exhaled.
“Belial sends a message,” Azael said. “Turn on your phone.”
“Oh, shoot!” I scrambled from the bed, falling to my knees in front of my bag by the door. I’d forgotten to turn my cell back on after the airport! I couldn’t believe it’d been off all this time. I fumbled around for my phone, finding it and turning it on. Kaidan squatted next to me.
Text messages and voice mails blinked from Patti and Dad and schoolmates. My stomach dropped with regret. Patti had been expecting me home hours ago and she was probably scared to death!
The texts from my father showed a progression from frustration to anger. The voice mails from him were all stewing silences, then hang ups.
I looked up, searching for the spirit. “What’s going on, Azael?”
“He left,” Kaidan said.
“Crap,” I muttered.
I first texted Patti to tell her I was okay. I then dialed Dad and he answered on the first ring. A chill prickled my scalp at the steady fury in his voice. “Do not. Ever. Turn your phone off.”
My body wasn’t sure whether to cry or puke or speak. Thankfully, speaking won, though my voice sounded tiny. “I forgot to turn it back on earlier today. I’m sorry.”
“I take it you’re with the son of Pharzuph,” he ground out. I sat up a little taller, remembering how he’d threatened Kaidan not to have contact with me.
“Yes. I am.” It came out bold. I was glad. And I wasn’t going to reassure him that I’d been “good,” because if he didn’t trust me by now, that was his problem.
Th
ere was a long pause as I awaited his temper. But it never came. Instead, he sighed, a deep, guttural sound of fatigue.
“We had our summit last night, as you know.”
“Yes?” I asked, because it sounded like he had news. My pulse spiked again as I wondered if the Dukes wanted to follow up on me after the last summit. Or if that disgusting demon had told them about seeing Kaidan and me together yesterday. Oh, please, no.
“I’m calling from Reno, and I’ve got to get back to Vegas. The summit’s been extended one more day. We’re having a changing of the guard, but that’s not why I called.”
I gave Kaidan a confused look about the changing-of-the-guard thing, and he waved it off like he’d explain later, giving the phone his rapt attention.
“Okay,” I said, prompting Dad to continue.
“Zania’s in prison.”
My heart sank, followed by every other internal organ, making me feel heavy all over. I crawled to the wall and slumped back against it, my eyes burning.
“In Damascus?”
“No. She’d been working farther out, in a more conservative area. She was taken in for being drunk and lewd.”
“What’s going to happen?” I pressed a palm to my forehead.
“Sonellion’s done with her. Says she’s a lost cause now. He’s given them permission to do whatever they want with her. Most likely they’ll beat her publicly to set an example. Then, if they keep it quiet afterward, they can sell her to the highest bidder. Underground slavery.”
I felt Kaidan tense next to me as he listened with his Neph hearing. Because of his father and Madam Marissa, this was a sensitive subject for him.
I got to my feet and began pacing. “We have to do something.”
“You’re not getting involved in this, Anna. Sonellion will be back over there soon. He’ll be keeping an eye on the situation to be sure she gets what’s coming to her. He’s disappointed that he’s not there to see it unfold himself. There’s nothing you or I can do.”
An image of Zania in prison came to mind, surrounded by men whose disdain for her was nearly as thick as her hate for them. And all the while she’d be going through withdrawal.
I sat heavily on the bed and rubbed my forehead, which was tight with an oncoming headache. Kaidan watched me, leaning against the wall.