* * * *
“ Sometimes you gotta fall back from everyone and everything
to get yourself together.”
I made my way down the bus aisle trying to cool myself off . The last thing I wanted was to have a nasty disposition and take it out on people who had nothing to do with my current situation. I was the sole reason I was in the predicament I was in with Roderick. Getting away from my unlikely travel companions was short lived due to the fact it wasn't as if I had anywhere to escape to. Just as I thought previously, the stench coming from the back of the bus was horrible! I didn't know how the people sitting in the back could stand it. I hurried up and made my way back to my seat. We'd be in St. Louis soon. My travel itinerary stated we'd be there in an hour. I needed to call Katrina for support because I was already starting to miss Roderick and I hadn't been away from him but a few hours. I'd been so determined when I'd boarded the bus. Now all my self-confidence was starting to crumble. I know Roderick loves me,I've invested so much time in our relationship. How can I just leave him? Was I really making the right decision or was I letting my pride get in the way of having a beautiful relationship with the man I loved? Maybe it was true what some people said...it was only a piece of paper.
Nope fuck that. I want all or nothing. It was obvious to me that after ten years I was getting nothing so I was done.