Chapter Eighteen
I took one step into the drawing room and stopped. I could smell jasmine, musk, oak moss and sandalwood—my favourite Ben scent—full of masculinity. But he wasn’t here. Just the memory.
It was just … a memory. My flowerless heart ached.
He had left me. I was alone on this journey now.
It will be done.
I walked toward the rock, as I called it, with caution.
This time, I had decided, I would sit comfortably on the sofa near the coffee table that displayed the rock. Before I touched it, I wanted to become familiar with it to reduce my fear.
I noted the beautiful colours and the occasional glitter that was scattered throughout it. It was highly unusual.
But I noticed, if I looked at the rock for too long it would start to hypnotize me. And that scared me. So I made sure that I did not interlock my eyes with it, not for the time being.
Outside the rain beat against the glass of the sash windows of the drawing room like a drum, breaking my concentration. It annoyed me so much that I became irritated. I needed my full concentration to connect. I didn’t want any unnecessary distracting noise.
So I closed my eyes, took an even, deep breath, and focused all of my energy to touching the rock.
The time had come…
I raised my right hand and suspended it above the ugliness of teal and purple solid matter. At once I could feel the magnetic pulling force acting upon my hand like a vacuum, sucking my hand towards it—just like the keyhole in the old oak door had done when I moved in.
Could this be the secret that inhabited the house?
My breath hitched and I opened my eyes. It couldn’t be, could it? I had felt the secret of the house since I was three. Gran never had this monstrosity of a rock then, did she?
I closed my eyes again and re-engaged with the rock. There was absolutely no turning back. Outside, the rain began to pour down in a deluge, crowding the emptying of my mind.
And then came a bright flash of lightning, and with it, the immediate deafening clap of thunder, rumbling and vibrating. The entire house rattled from the roof to the foundations from the intensity of the close lightning strike. It had made its presence felt. I opened my eyes in a state of shock until the rumbling ceased.
Then I started from the beginning to find my courage to connect to the rock again. I took a deep breath and closed my eyes, raised my right hand and suspended it above the rock once more, feeling the pulling force acting upon my hand.
This time it was right. It felt right.
Slowly but surely, I inched my hand closer to the rock. I was not touching it, yet, my mind started to float in and out of consciousness.
It will be done…
I will be sucked into the rock like a vortex, I thought, perhaps never to return. Perhaps it will just extract my mind, never to return it, rendering me incapable of living a normal life, rendering me institutionalised into a mental health facility living a life of nothingness—no feeling, no pain, no love, no hope.
I was going ...
I opened my eyes again, startled.
This time it was not thunder that interrupted me, but a loud banging on the front door. I ignored it and hoped whoever it was would go away. I was committed to fulfilling Gran’s final wish.
But the loud banging continued. I counted to ten before I got up and walked to the front door. The loud banging continued, annoying me to the extreme.
Abruptly, I opened the unlocked door, ready to unleash an inferno of superfluous words on the unsuspecting soul when, I realised, standing there, dripping wet was Ben, his head lowered.
My lavender rose heart faced its sun.
He lifted his head to look at me, then returned his gaze to the floor, his expression crestfallen. I reached up to his face and moved it so I could make eye contact with him again. I saw an incredible sadness in his cerulean eyes.
He swallowed. Hard. ‘I’m scared, Cate. Watching you like a spectator, because that is what I am in all of this, is difficult to the extreme. My number one instinct is to protect you at all costs, and I’m afraid I won’t be able to do that for you with the rock. Please don’t do this, Cate. Please … it’s ripping me apart,’ he said. His voice was raw with emotion.
He absorbed my eyes as I looked into the depth of his. I wanted to stay there for eternity. My love for him was absolute. My lavender rose heart opened perfectly to face its sun, and infused my life force with healing burst of a sweet citrus scent with hints of spicy clove. I wished I could share it with Ben.
He pulled my lips to his, gently at first, then with hunger. I pushed my body against his, desperate for his closeness. I pulled away from the kiss, grabbed his shirt, and hauled him into the house. We made our way into the sitting room where I stopped and faced him. I touched his lips with my fingers in tenderness before he pulled me closer, and his mouth devoured mine again. This time his kiss was urgent.
He moved his lips away, breathing heavily, his eyes dark and intense. He removed his saturated shirt, his sculptured body wet and goosebumped from the coolness of the air. My fingers ached to touch him, so I ran my hands over his skin and moved my lips to his once again.
I wanted him.
Intimately.
I pulled away in frustration and looked into his eyes. There, I could see an intensity and longing as strong as mine. ‘Let’s go upstairs,’ I whispered in a low voice.
He lifted his chin and gazed at me, but did not answer.
My lavender rose heart was red with desire, bursting with the scent of warm fruity notes of blackberry, blueberry and damson. It was sensual and dangerous.
‘No,’ he finally replied in a low voice. ‘Not now ... it’s not the right time.’
‘How could now not be the right time? Every part of my body is aching for you. I need you. I want you...’ I pleaded, desperate to be united to him in the most intimate way. My red rose heart wanted to absorb everything from its sun.
He closed his eyes, pulled me against him and wrapped his arms tightly around me. ‘Not yet, my love,’ he whispered.
I squeezed my eyes shut. I didn’t want him to be right this time. I should have known he would not break his promise he made to me such a long time ago.
I felt his forced breath against my neck. I had pushed him to his limit. I did not want to risk him leaving me again, like he did yesterday.
‘I will always want you … always,’ I whispered.
He released his arms from around me and looked into my eyes before he kissed me gently ... and I understood.
The heavy rain continued and a second storm cell unleashed its fury. It was fierce and powerful and endured for hours. But it didn’t matter. Ben was with me and I was safe. Nothing mattered, as long as he was with me.
Neither of us looked at the seven jeweled ring on my finger that day, nor did we bring up the subject of Gran’s drawing room.
The day turned into night and the storm continued. I held Ben’s fingertips in mine as I led him to my bedroom.
I entered the bathroom, showered, and quickly changed into my nightwear.
When I returned in the muted greyness of the night, I watched as Ben pulled off his shirt and trousers, leaving his trunk underwear on. He walked with ease towards my bed, his silhouette powerful in the muted light. Warmth spread throughout my body with an awakening of my desire.
He lifted the bed covers and clambered into bed, lying on his back with his arms behind his head. I took a steady breath as I climbed in beside him, controlling my need for him. He turned his head and looked at me with a slight smile.
I ran my fingers along his jawline. ‘I want to kiss you … but I don’t think I should,’ I whispered to him, looking at his lips that I so badly wanted to caress with mine. His lips parted and he took a short, sharp breath. I traced a finger over his bottom lip.
‘I want to kiss you … but I don’t think I should,’ he whispered back, looking into my eyes. He wrap
ped an arm me and pulled me against his side.
I ran my fingers down his chin, his neck and onto his shoulders, then down to his defined chest and sculptured stomach muscles. I circled his belly button and found his happy trail. I felt the movement of his chest as he inhaled deeply, and then his hand was on top on mine, stopping me from caressing his skin.
He moved my hand to his lips and kissed it before he placed it over his heart and left it there, with his hand resting on top of mine. ‘One day,’ he said in a rough voice, and kissed my forehead.
‘I can’t wait for one day.’
‘Me neither, and then it will be every day,’ he added.
I wanted nothing more than to kiss him then—but I didn’t. I didn’t want to ignite the deep passion that bubbled in my blood, ready to explode. We had a promise to keep.
I took a deep breath as the thought of delicious intimacy with Ben entered my mind. One day couldn’t come soon enough.
I closed my eyes then, and slept in Ben’s arms, safe and carefree.