Chapter Nineteen
Daybreak came and with it a clear blue sky. The morning sun touched my face, sending rays of peacefulness. But I was far from peaceful. Today was the day of connection. The day of unpredictability. The day of the unknown.
I waited for Ben in the sitting room and tried to collect my calmness.
His footsteps on the stairs drew my attention to him. I watched his every step, memorizing his physical perfection, every single part of him that I could jam into my brain.
I never wanted to forget him.
I never wanted to forget the way I felt about him, and the way he made me feel.
When he reached the final step I walked over to him and connected my eyes to his. Time ceased to exist at that moment. Not a word was spoken as we floated, suspended in our bubble of love.
I reached out and took Ben’s hand in mine. He closed his eyes and drew his eyebrows together.
My lavender rose heart began to pound when we started on the short journey to the drawing room. This was harder to do than I expected.
Ben stopped me at the doorway. He placed his hands on the side of my face and gazed into my eyes. ‘Are you sure you want to do this?’
I took a deep breath. I had never been more unsure of anything in my life. But I needed to choose to be courageous. Gran had said I wouldn’t get hurt. I had to have faith in her and her love for me.
‘Yes,’ I responded, sounding more confident than I felt.
Ben brushed his lips over mine, lingering. Butterflies fluttered in my stomach and I felt the bond between us that could never be broken.
A tear rolled down my cheek when our lips parted. I was terrified of the rock and of what possibly could happen next. But I had to push on.
Anxiety pumped through me as I walked to the sofa in front of the fireplace. I motioned to Ben to sit beside me. ‘Hold my hand as I do this. If I look as though I am in trouble, pull me free of this thing, okay? Never let go of my hand, Ben. I’m counting on you doing that for me.’ My voice was weak.
He looked into my eyes, brooding. ‘I am here for you—always. You know that…’
My nervous energy became extreme and I started to feel faint.
‘How long do you think this will take? Do you want me to break your connection with the rock after say, three minutes?’ he asked.
‘Or less … if you think,’ I said as fear invaded my body. ‘I love you more than life, Benjamin Adams,’ I whispered. I took Ben’s hand firmly in mine, closed my eyes, and took a deep breath. ‘I’m ready.’
I held my right hand above the rock. At once, an energy pulled my hand towards it, like a magnet. Every fibre of my being tried to fight the connection. But I couldn’t resist it.
A warm tingling sensation spread over my hand as I made the physical connection to the rock. My world started to spin. My life flashed before me. My intelligence was scanned and read and searched. And when the spinning finally slowed I saw Gran standing in front of me with her hands outstretched to greet me.
‘Welcome, Cate, dear,’ she said with an inviting warmth in her voice.
I was confused. Gran was dead. How could this be? I wanted to return to the safety of the drawing room. I wanted to escape from this obvious deceit that was being injected into my mind.
Adrenaline surged through me as my panic level rose.
It was not real.
This was not real.
It couldn’t be.
But, as I was about to pull away from the rock, Gran spoke again.
‘Cate, I am not really here, how could I be? This is much like a hologram I prepared for you before I left. I want to reassure you about the coloured rock you are connected to. It is simply a device that stores my memories. And you, only you, are able to access my memories by placing your right hand with the seven jeweled ring onto it.
‘Your presence, with the jewels, unlocks a series of cryptograms allowing you to read my memories. When you touch the rock it uses your body’s energy to read and search your mind. It’s like a security check, making sure that you are Cate Boswell. All of my memories are stored here, plus stories I was told about, including the moment I was born until ... well, you know when.
‘Cate, as you watch my life unfold, the items you retrieved in the drawing room will hold significance. Some of them you will keep with you. And some of them you will use to fulfill my final wish.
‘You will not be physically hurt or harmed during this entire journey. At times it will be emotionally intense though, and you will have to consciously decide to disconnect.
‘You are the only one who can do this journey. Nobody else who wears the ring will unlock the energy of the coloured rock. Only for you does it engage in its purpose.
‘You will learn about things in this journey, things you must never tell to a single soul, not even Ben. You will know instinctively which things must never be spoken of. You are sworn to secrecy, as long as you live.
‘Now, to disconnect with the energy of the rock—think of Ben. Your mind and soul are so strongly connected to him—physically, emotionally, and chemically, that it changes your brain waves and will cause a temporary energy disruption between you and the memory rock, enough for you to easily pull your hand away.
‘And Cate, before you think of Ben now and disconnect, I want to tell you how much I love you, and how thankful I truly am that you chose to fulfill my final wish. My heart leaps for joy. Until we meet again.’ Gran blew me a kiss. I looked at her for a long time. I didn’t want her to leave. I didn’t want to say goodbye to her again.
A tear rolled down my cheek. But I was not troubled, or in danger. In fact, I felt an unusual peacefulness. I hoped that Ben would not contemplate disconnecting my hand from the rock because of my tear. I wasn’t ready to leave yet.
At once, the magnetic pull of the coloured rock stopped. Oh—I had thought of Ben!
My mind returned to its normal state and I pulled my hand away from the rock with ease. I opened my eyes, looked at Ben and took a deep breath.
His hand was cupped under his chin and his eyes were on me. I knew he would be ready to catch me if I fell. I smiled at him and he released a long breath as though he had been holding it. I held his hand to my heart.
‘You won’t believe this!’ I said. ‘The rock … it’s like a memory storage system. It stores all of Gran’s memories. But I am the only one who can access them. I met Gran, as a hologram. She explained how it works. I think I can fulfill her final wish now. But I don’t know how long it will take ... Ben?’
He lowered his chin and stared at me. His reaction worried me. I smiled at him again, trying to pull him from his intensive observation of me.
‘I have a million and two questions, but I will ask, I think, the most important one. Are you able to return from the memory storage system by free choice? Please explain it to me. I have to know,’ he said.
I looked at the rock and back to Ben. ‘To disconnect from the rock, I simply choose to think of you. Apparently, according to Gran, when I think of you, my brain waves change and it is enough to disrupt the energy flow between me and the rock. The magnetic pull of energy ceases and I can remove my hand from the rock without effort or pain,’ I said, and watched his face for a reaction.
He lowered his head and smiled.
‘What?’ I asked, catching his infectious smile.
‘Ah—nothing,’ he replied, shaking his head, still smiling to himself. He leaned over and gave me a chaste kiss, dropped his head and smiled to himself again. I continued to watch him. He was gloating, terribly smug.
‘There is something I must tell you,’ I said with a serious tone.
He looked up at me and narrowed his eyes.
‘When I am connected to the rock, there will be things—memories of Gran—that I will be sworn to secrecy about. You must give me your word never to badger me about things I have seen, but of which I can never, ever tell you. Please give me your word.’
‘You kno
w that you have it.’ Deep sincerity radiated from his eyes and I knew he would keep his word. ‘Cate … I know you have said that you can disconnect from the rock, by thinking of me,’ he hung his head slightly, ‘but what if you become distressed and want to leave, but can’t. I want your permission to pull you free if that scenario happens. I don’t want you to lose your mind in there and never be Cate again. Do you understand what I am saying?’ he asked. His brow furrowed.
‘Yes. And yes—you have my permission to pull me free if you think I’m in trouble. I trust you explicitly—with my life.’ I became lost in his cerulean eyes and consciously took a breath.
Ben frowned and nodded slowly. He burned his cerulean eyes into mine, creating a connection I did not understand. The power that came from him was immense. It was like he had drawn me into him, body and soul, like I was a part of him.
I broke away from his dominant gaze and looked at the rock. I almost felt safe in the knowledge that I had full control of disconnecting from it when I chose to.
But still, doubt lingered. I closed my eyes and visualized Ben ready to rescue me from destruction if I became disorientated, confused, and unable to ascend from the memories I was about to enter. He would protect me.
I placed my hand onto the rock in a controlled manner. At once my hand warmed and tingled. My head spun, and stopped, and I saw a vision of Gran’s smiling face. The vision moved on then. It unraveled like I was watching a movie. The memories were in shades of black and white—there was no colour anywhere.
Emily’s face twisted in pain from the intense contraction of the labor of birth. Perspiration dripped off her brow as the doctor offered her words of encouragement. The birth of her third baby neared.
Outside the bedroom door, waiting eagerly was the rest of the family: Emily’s husband, Henry, Oliver, three years of age and Libby, who was one.
At the sound of the baby’s cry they all cheered. All, that is, except Libby, who had no idea about what was going on. Katie Anne Jones had finally come into the world on the third of July, 1937, fearfully and wonderfully made.
A tear came to Emily’s eye as the doctor handed the healthy baby girl to her. She gave her beautiful, peaceful daughter a gentle kiss on the head and whispered a prayer into her ear, thanking God for Katie Anne, another precious gift from Him. Henry entered the room then, carrying Libby in one arm and holding Oliver’s hand. He knelt beside the bed and looked into his new daughter‘s eyes before he kissed her on the head.
The family was picture perfect.
Katie was three when the next baby arrived. It was a boy, named Charlie. He was the last of the Jones children as the doctor had advised Emily that she would not live to see the birth of her next baby, if she chose to have more.
The Jones family lived a simple life on the farm. They had a large property on the outskirts of town. Their only means of transportation to the big smoke was by horse and cart. There were cars then, but the Jones’s could not afford one. The farm was their only source of income, be it not a large one, but enough to give them the bare necessities in life. They would be classified as poor by most folk. But they knew they did not need a fortune to be truly happy. They knew that it was in helping others that one found true happiness, and they had their faith.
The Jones’ children were forever surrounded by love and they knew nothing but happiness, until, one day, tragedy struck: Oliver, Libby and Katie contracted pertussis, and the doctor told Emily and Henry to send for the priest.
For days, Oliver, Libby and Katie lay in bed, looking like death warmed up. Katie seemed to be suffering the worst. Her breathing was labored and her life hung in the balance. It was not expected that she would survive.
But it was Oliver who passed away first. He was only six years of age. He didn’t have the strength in his body to fight for survival any more. He didn’t want to give into death, but the weakness was overbearing. It was just too hard. He died, holding onto his mama’s hand, his face peaceful and angelic.
Soon after, Libby, who was just four, struggled for every tiny breath to keep herself alive. She tried so hard to stay with her family. She did not want to be separated from her mama and papa. She desperately wanted to live. But in the end, she was just too weak. The kind and gentle child could not hold on to her precious life anymore. Every breath she took exhausted her, and in the end, she died in her mama’s arms, listening to the sweet voice of her mama singing her favourite songs, surrounded by a sea of love.
Emily cried out in pain as her heart broke at the loss of two of her precious children. It was more than she could bear. She found the darkest corner of the house and squatted there, rocking back and forth, crying out in despair, bringing her hand to her heart over and over again. The pain on her face told it all, she had been imprisoned in a cell of torment and grief. She felt as though she had abandoned her own babies, Oliver and Libby. She was their mother. It was her job to watch over their safe and happy journey through life. And she had failed ... she had failed. The depths of the dark and lonely abyss reached up and pulled her down...
I sucked in jagged breath, feeling the agony of pain that Great Grandmother Emily felt at the loss of two of her children. I struggled with my emotions, and consciously forced myself to think of Ben to disconnect from the rock. It was the only thing I could do to protect myself from the heart break.
It was the only thing I could do ... two lives … so young and pure of heart ... devastating … heart wrenching…
I pulled my hand away and leaned back on the sofa and sobbed, deeply.
Ben brushed his hand over my tears. ‘Cate?’ His voice was full of concern.
I breathed out audibly and wiped the tears that streamed down my face.
‘Being in Gran’s memories is like being there in person. I feel every emotion they feel. Gran’s big brother and sister have just died ... it hurts … so badly.’ I took a deep jagged breath.
‘Cate—I’m sorry…”
‘I have to go back and see what happens to Gran. She is gravely ill as well.’
Ben gave my left hand a gentle hand hug and I replaced my right hand onto the rock. Again my head spun and then stopped, and I was greeted by the vision of Gran’s smiling face, welcoming me back to the memories.
I continued in the story where I had left from, which was a relief. I didn’t think I could bear to go back and witness the death of two dear children, again.
Katie Anne lay as still as death in her bed. She was barely breathing. Somehow, Emily found the strength to be with Katie. She held a bedside vigil as best as she could under the circumstances, constantly in a state of prayer, asking the good Lord to spare the life of Katie Anne from this horrendous, deadly disease.
For three whole days Emily willed Katie Anne to take every single breath. But, as a result of all of the emotional pain and lack of sleep, Emily became exhausted and put her head upon Katie’s bed and fell into a deep sleep.
In a state of panic, Henry started yelling frantically, ‘Emily, Emily!’
Her eyes flew open. ‘No, no, not my Katie, too! No! No!’
‘Katie’s awake ... Katie’s awake!’ Henry yelled.
Emily lifted her head to see Katie give a weak smile.
‘I’m hungry, Mama!’ Katie said in an unsteady, quiet voice.
Emily hugged her precious daughter tightly for a long time and praised the Lord for His mercy. Katie didn’t understand what all the fuss was about.
Now, Emily and Henry had only two of their four children to love and treasure. They would never ever forget Oliver and Libby. They would forever stay in their hearts and memories. And because of their faith, they knew they would meet again.
Katie was only three when she attended the funerals of her brother and sister. She did not understand what death was, what it meant, or what it was about. She kept expecting Oliver and Libby to come back and play with her.
But they never came...
When Katie turned four a train line was built about a mile f
rom her home. She was totally oblivious to the concept of a train, but soon learned about trains quickly once it started the twice daily journey.
She loved to see the smoke billowing out of the funnel of the steam train. She loved to hear the clickety-click sound it made as it travelled along the rail tracks. And she loved to count how many carriages the steam train was pulling.
Every time Katie heard the train thunder in the distance, she would run out to wait for it and wave. The train driver never failed to wave with a smile. And sometimes, the people in the carriages would wave too.
As a couple of years went by Katie and her little brother, Charlie, became the best of friends. Their lives were overflowing with happiness—their mama and papa made sure of that. They knew how precious their time together on the Earth was.
Then, when Katie turned six, Emily and Henry received a letter from the authorities telling them that Katie must attend school or she would be taken away from them.
Emily and Henry didn’t want to send their children to school. They wanted to keep their children close to them and away from other children in case they caught an illness and died, just like Oliver and Libby did.
Sending Katie to school every day would be heart wrenching for them. But, they had no choice if they wanted to keep her.
And so the long journey began each day. Henry and Katie would rise early each morning of the school week, and Katie would be delivered to school by horse and cart. In the afternoon when school had finished, Pa would be there waiting to pick her up in the horse and cart, and thus the long return journey home began.
After a while, the long morning and afternoon journey began to make Katie exceptionally tired and she began to lose her high spirits. The farm struggled to bring in the much needed income as Henry had to spend much of his time travelling to and from school.
Although Katie was still young, she was acutely perceptive of people and their emotions. She could see the strain affecting her mama and papa. There had to be another way to get to school.
‘What about the train, Pa?’ Katie asked one day.
‘Katie, the train station is too far away, and the road leading to the station is not suitable for our horse and cart,’ her pa had replied.
‘Why don’t I just go to the fence in the morning and stop the train?’ asked Katie.
‘And how on Earth, young lady, are you going to stop the train?’ asked her pa.
‘I’ll wave a bright red piece of material at the driver of course. That will make him stop.’ Katie had it all worked out. She was sure the train driver would stop for her.
‘Well, Katie Anne, tomorrow is Saturday and there is no school. So why don’t we try out your plan and see what happens?’ Pa smiled at her and ruffled her hair.
Katie looked up at her tall papa and smiled back. She loved him forever and a day.
The next day Katie waited with her red material at the split rail fence that bordered the boundary of the family farm while her papa tended the land close by. The moment Katie heard the faintest sound of the clickety-clack of the train on the tracks, she yelled, ‘It’s coming! The train is coming!’
She stood up on the rails of the fence and waved her red material around like it was flapping in a wild wind, making sure the train driver would see it.
And sure enough, as soon as the train driver saw the red material waving around, he started pulling up the engine and managed to stop the locomotive just a bit down the track from where Katie was. He got out of the train.
Katie ran towards the driver with a skip in her stride, her Pa followed behind at a slower pace, admiring his daughter’s tenacity.
She stopped when she reached the train driver, huffing and puffing, and looked up at his kind face. ‘Hello, Mr. Train Driver, I’m Katie Anne Jones, and this is my papa, Henry,’ she said, holding her hand out to shake hands with the train driver and then motioning to introduce her father.
‘Well, hello, young Katie Anne Jones, how can I help you? It must be very important to you to stop the train!’
‘Sir, my papa has to take me to school each morning and afternoon and it is becoming difficult with the farm chores. I want to help my family by going on the train, if that is okay with you—please?’ explained Katie, as clearly as she could with her carefully chosen words and rehearsed speech.
The train driver was a compassionate man and was more than happy to stop to collect little Katie Anne Jones each day so she could go to school and bring her back home again.
And so it was organised, and the daily school journey was travelled by train.
As the seasons changed, it was difficult at times for the train driver to locate the Jones’s Farm, especially in winter when the fence was be obstructed from view by the heavy snowfall. Often, during these times, he would accidently overrun Katie’s house stop, and then, to the annoyance of the passengers, he would have to reverse to let little Katie off; a mammoth effort with high energy consumption from the train engines.
The train driver knew that if complaints were lodged against him he would have to cease the extra stopover for little Katie, and he could not find it in his heart to do that, for he loved this child as his own.
So the train driver and the conductor came up with a solution. They decided to build a special gate for Katie—her own special gate. One that was highly visible so the driver could instantly start to slow the speed of the train as soon as he caught sight of it, and stop precisely at the Katie’s gate. This way there would be no complaints, and Katie would not have to walk along the train tracks back to her house as she sometimes had to do.
That week-end they set about building the gate with Katie’s Papa. Katie helped out with the food snacks and drinks. And she helped them with the painting and the testing of the opening and shutting of the gate.
After only one day Katie’s Gate was totally finished.
It had an iron roof they painted a bright red colour so it would stand out in all types of weather. The four posts were a natural dark wood colour that they preserved with oils to keep them in good condition. The structure had an opening and closing wrought iron gate and two seats on the inside between the posts for Katie to sit on as she waited.
“Katie’s Gate” was painted in white onto a piece of wood which was painted red and proudly displayed on the front.
Katie loved her gate, and life was running smoothly now for the Jones’ family, and continued to do so for the next five years. Everything had fallen into its rightful place and the universe was in perfect order.
I felt tired. Gran had been right about energy being drained out of me. I decided to disconnect from the rock. I turned my thoughts to Ben and felt the energy transfer cease.
I pulled my hand away from the rock with ease, sat back and opened my eyes, feeling lethargic. After a short while I realised that Ben was still holding my hand.
I smiled at him and pulled his hand up to my lips and kissed his fingers. ‘I’m exhausted. How long was I connected to Gran’s memories for?’
Ben looked down at his watch. ‘Exactly seven minutes and thirty-four seconds,’ he reported.
‘Really? Really? Wow! I’m watching a life unfold in fast forward.’ I relaxed against the sofa and recollected all I had seen. Watching Gran as a little girl and growing up was fascinating. This journey was a gift. I looked at Ben. ‘Now I know all about Katie’s Gate. It has a nice story… ’
Ben listened intently to every detail of what I had seen. He kept his eyes connected to mine and held my hand. We left the drawing room to eat then, and walked around in the back yard. I looked about at things, but did not at the same time. My mind was far, far away in a distant place.
Following the flow of the garden we ventured to the front yard. I walked out onto the sidewalk and looked at Katie’s Gate. I saw the gate with a whole new perspective now that I knew how Katie’s Gate came into being.
I returned to the house eager to get back to the rock, wanting to know what happened next. Ben trailed behind
me, so I waited for him by the large window and looked out at the garden. I felt the heat from his body before he leaned closer to whisper in my ear, ‘In a hurry, Miss Boswell?’ he asked.
I inhaled the Ben’s scent—jasmine, musk, oak, moss and sandalwood—my favourite Ben scent—full of masculinity. ‘Absolutely, Mr. Adams, especially where you are concerned. The sooner I get this rock thing over and done with, the sooner I can lavish you with my attention!’ I reached around for his arms and pulled them around me. I closed my eyes and let my body rest against his. He pushed my hair to the side and kissed me below my left ear. I sighed as a wonderful feeling of warmth spread throughout me. But then, he moved away.
I turned around to face him. He sat on the sofa and patted the seat beside him. I looked to the floor before I walked over to him and sat once more on the sofa ready to connect. I did not need Ben to hold my hand the entire time I was in memory warp now, but I did feel safer with him in the room with me, watching over me, just in case.
I knew exactly what to expect when I reconnected with the rock, including Gran’s smiling face each time I “logged on” so to speak. The story continued from where I had “logged off” last … the universe was in perfect order for the Jones family.
And then, totally from left field, the black and white memory vision started to spin slowly, until it became a blur and stopped. Katie now appeared before me, five years older.
‘Mama, I love you forever and a day,’ Katie said as she looked into her mother’s eyes.
‘And I love you, forever and a day,’ Emily whispered as she kissed Katie good-night, turned off the light and left the room.
The next day arrived with a vengeance. The snow had started and it was bitterly cold. Katie dressed warmly for school and caught the train as always. But, unlike every other day when she boarded the train, she decided she would buy two tickets, as a round trip as they called it. When the conductor came by with his forever welcoming smile, he was surprised at her request to buy a return ticket. She had always bought one ticket in the morning and one in the afternoon.
‘I think someone is starting to grow up, don’t you?’ he smiled as he spoke.
Katie smiled back at him with fondness, thankful that he was so kind to her. She carefully placed the return ticket into the pocket of her thick coat. She was certain that it would be safe there throughout the school day.
And sure enough, after school as she walked to catch the train home, Katie put her hand into the pocket of her coat and pulled out the return ticket, feeling proud of her forward planning on this particular ordinary but very cold day.
However, as she did so, a large man bumped into her and she dropped her ticket. Panic stricken, Katie went to get it. But at that exact moment a strong gust of wind picked it up and blew it out of her reach. She chased it further and further into the woods.
The snow was falling heavier now and it was getting hard to see. But she was sure she could see the ticket just near the large boulder that was topped with snow.
And then with relief, she finally she reached it. She picked it up and started to head back to the train station. It was only a short distance away.
But—she never made it back.
She had fallen in the heavy snow and her body slid down into an old mine shaft. And as she fell down the shaft she hit her head and landed at the bottom, unconscious, and alone.
The train did not stop at Katie’s Gate that afternoon.
And Katie did not return home.