Dear Oprah,
I am not sure that this letter will actually receive you but if it does, I hope that it finds you of sound mind, body and soul. Perhaps I should begin by telling you what prompted me to write you. I recently revisited the letter that Martin Luther King wrote while in prison in Birmingham. This inspired me to write a letter of my own to one of the most influential personalities in the past decade, Ms. Oprah Winfrey.
I am sure that many people write you for various reasons, but mostly to do something for them or to thank you. I am no exception. I write today to impose a favor upon you as well as thank you. I have always admired your drive to do better and inspire others to do better as well. You empower others. This is why I must make an attempt to reach out to you and ask you one pertinent question. It is a question that has been troubling me for quite some time. The question is “Why you don’t feel the need to reach out to the black community?” I hope I haven’t deterred you from reading the rest of this letter with such a seemingly insulting question. Please read on. Let me explain to you what I mean. You may say that I reach out to all people regardless of race. I say, however, all races are not in need of your voice. I have watched your show many times (consider me a fan). I think that it is safe to say that your audience is predominately Caucasian women. I don’t know if you intentionally set out for this to happen or if they sought refuge in you.
It can be a multitude of reasons. Maybe as your audience grew, your writers recommended that you do stories that housewives can relate to. Perhaps you realized that in order for your show to remain successful you have to gear it towards the highest population that is able to watch your show. Now that you have them as your fan base perhaps you feel some sort of obligation to them. Perhaps you feel as though you have to please your supporters by discussing issues of interest to them. After all, it is the middle class house- wives who have the time to watch your show. We know that black women can ill afford this luxury because they are the bread- winners of the family; therefore, they are out working while your show is on. The black men, on the other hand, cannot watch your show either because they are in prison or choose to watch ESPN instead.
I do know population of blacks who can watch your show, however, I am afraid that your show won’t appeal to the majority. Maybe the children who are at home watching television instead of doing something productive while their parents are working are watching your show. Or perhaps the numerous African Americans that are bedridden due to fatal illnesses such as AIDS and cancer can find some inspiration in your program.
It suddenly occurred to me that if you came on during the evening more black families could then watch your show together instead of spending quality time with one another. It’s not as though they take time to talk to one another anyway. I don’t know if you realize this but the American family is not what it used to be, especially the black families. When dinner is prepared everyone fix their plate and go their separate ways. The mother may look at t.v. in the living room. The children go into their bedrooms and either look at their own television or eat their starch filled plates while downloading their favorite songs off of the computer. You see these are the issues that I hope you would raise more frequently on your program because these are the problems that are inflicting our community.
Is it that these issues have been overly exposed and you do not want to bring even more attention to it? I know that as an African American woman you want the world, especially whites, to change the way they think about us. So by bringing these problems to the forefront you would be exposing us and showing the world that we still have the same problems that we have always had. I am sure you do not want the world to see us as victims anymore.
I must also keep in mind that you are also human and a victim as well. You are a victim of white society just like the rest of us. Therefore if you raise these issues on a consistent basis your supporters will abandon you, in the same way they abandoned your remarkable movie Beloved. You see that is not what American wants to see anymore. They want to see that we have made great strides. You are an example of that. Now any predicament we as blacks find ourselves in is entirely the fault of the individual. That is what “they” want to believe so that is what you have to conform to.
Or I guess you want your show to be well diverse in subject matter. I know discussing these issues can be a drag. It is permissible to sway from light-hearted issues to those of a more serious matter, but don’t choose to totally ignore these topics.
No matter what the topics are “we” can relate so why is it that your guests are predominately white. Do we not write you also? Of course we do. Then I thought perhaps you see it another way. Perhaps you want to purposely take the focus off of us. Maybe by exposing their faults they will see that they are just as “screwed up” as we are but with more money (in most cases), power, and acceptability to function in society. Perhaps by doing this we, all races, will understand that we are all basically the same and we all have the problems. You probably think that if they can see us in the same light as themselves then they will be accepting, tolerable, and respectful to us. Maybe you think that if they see you as a person to be admired this would make them less intimidated by other blacks. If you succeed in this approach then it would make sense. But sometimes your comments defeat the purpose.
How can they respect us if you are poking fun at your own people? I know as an African American woman you continue to struggle with your own identity. I see it in your Freudian slips. When you mention how difficult it is for “us” to manage our hair. Oprah it wouldn’t be as problematic if we weren’t trying to maintain the European look and call it “beautiful.” I see how you adore your Caucasians guests (those that are famous) and I can’t help but to think that you are a victim as well. I remember that you made a statement that I will never forget because it revealed and exposed something about you that you may not be aware of, choose to ignore, or continue to struggle with in your black skin. You stated on one of your shows that the melanin in our skin is all that we have going for us. You tried to clear it up but it didn’t make sense. You said exactly what you felt.
You must also be aware that when you, as an articulate black woman mimic your own race by speaking “ghetto slang” you are giving your white audience the okay to make fun and laugh along with you. You can’t forget that stereotypes still exist and it isn’t fair when you as a successful black woman make fun at the expense of the under educated. I know that you are probably saying it is all in good fun and you can’t please everyone, but I ask whom are you truly looking to please. I agree that to please everyone is not possible and not logical because you can’t please god and the devil at the same time. You will end up pleasing no one and looked upon as a hypocrite. We all should be willing to take a stand for or against something at some point in order for our lives to be meaningful.
I am not discounting all the good that you have done, but I wanted to make you aware of what I observed. I know it could be all a misunderstanding. I know that the way I perceive things to be may not be how they actually are. However, I would be remised if I didn’t express myself, and hope that you understand where I am coming from. Just in case I am right and you are guilty of pleasing a group of people you feel obligated to, I wanted to give you a chance to listen and take from it something positive because this is positive criticism that expects a positive response. If I am correct then we still feel obligated to a self-created master and we shouldn’t. We owe nothing to anyone other than ourselves.
As you have stated on more than one occasion to much is given much is expected. I expect that you would not ignore the many problems facing our community forever. I know that you are very supportive in the AIDS epidemic overseas. Perhaps this is where your passions lie. Truth be said, I have no idea what you are doing behind the scenes. Perhaps you are reaching out to our domestic communities as well, but then why not be a voice by bringing more attention to it. When you speak people listen. You could raise so much aw
areness and understanding from not only the black community, but all races. Don’t allow your pride and embarrassment stop you from what your soul needs you to do. How do I know what your soul wants from you? Because it wants the same from all of us- do what we can, when we can, and while we can. Don’t get caught up in pleasing others who really don’t care about the future of our people. Right now their community is not in dire need as ours. Judging from your guests they can afford therapy for their issues, while most of us cannot. I am not going to get into comparing human hurt because hurt is hurt but fact is fact. The fact is that we are broken down. It is easy for a person in your situation to forget. Your problems may be different from the average African American and you may have become detached from our needs. This is why I am voicing them to you.
I am sure that you have heard these things before so maybe now you should think about addressing them. You have the platform for it. I know we shouldn’t air out our dirty laundry. But we cannot afford to impress non-blacks. We will get no positive results if these issues are not brought to the forefront. Ignorance only offers temporary bliss.
Please forgive my stream of consciousness. This is not a condemnation but merely an observation as to what we can do to right the wrong. I guess that I had so much expectation for you. I thought that you had the power to unite first blacks and then the world. I know that you can’t unite us all but you can help give those with hope direction.
Or maybe unity is not the answer. Perhaps the idea of unity is a diversion from what is really needed. Perhaps it keeps us wanting, fascinating about a useless, intangible, and unrealistic goal instead of focusing on the real problem - the individual. We want unity without understanding self and our individual purpose. Perhaps the answer lies in accepting personal responsibility. If we all took on personal responsibility for ourselves then we won’t have any of these problems. With personal responsibility I won’t have to look to you or any other famous figure for leadership. Maybe I am giving you and the money that you have too much power.
I remember seeing the show where you gave away cars to your audience member and thought what a waste of money. There is so much more that could have been done with that money. So many lives could have been changed with that money, but who am I to judge. Who am I to compare needs of others? Perhaps money doesn’t change things ideas and people do. I think of black figures like Michael Jackson and wondered what went wrong. Was fame, money, or power to blame for his downfall? Should he not have been blessed with the talent that brought him to where he is today? But I knew that Michael Jackson, R. Kelly, and OJ Simpson are who they are with or without money, fame or power. R. Kelly is a child molester who happens to be gifted. Michael Jackson is a child molester who happens to be talented. OJ Simpson is a murderer who happens to be famous. Whitney Houston is a talented addict. Either way they would have acted out their desires if they didn’t seek help for them. The fame only allowed them to get away with devious acts longer.
I cannot deny that these acts occurred in our community. All of us are not innocent. By denying these acts simply because the perpetrators are black make us appear a bit dense. We have to be true to ourselves, our feelings and our emotions because it is part of who we are. If we pretend to be happy when we are sad or intelligent when we are ignorant we are only destroying ourselves by not allowing ourselves to grow. Like all of us, you too, are searching for your authentic self because that is the perfect you. We are not all good and we are not all bad. We are human beings capable of being anything. When all is said and done our impression that we make in the world will resonate even after our death if it is powerful enough. So maybe you will do more harm than good if you gave of yourself to the black community. We need self-reliance not another temporary solution or savior.
After going through all these scenarios to discover other people’s motives, I finally realized that it didn’t matter. The ghetto is a state of mind. Finding your peace lies in discovering your personal truth. Once you discover that, no matter what situation you are in, it will not affect you. You can see pass what surrounds you. It is our mentality that keeps us bound to our circumstances. It is our mentality that has to change. Every ghetto shares the same story of neglect, abuse, and discontent of and for life. But there are stories of hope as well.
The African spirit remains in us. We must reject the social structure and culture that does not coincide with who we are. We are neglecting what brought us here, who we really are and instead we are embracing the ways that goes against our spirit. There will never be any form of progress if we go against who we are. The answer awaits us if we listen.
Unspoken Memories
The spirit of my ancestors haunts my soul as they move upon a violent cloud. They walk across a boundless rainbow while their tears fall down the face of god. Growing ever so restless of this futile ground they possess the breath of life. The world hears these livid voices that cry out beneath a wounded tree. Their bodies reside within the mind with feet stomping at my every heartbeat.
I inhale their floating thoughts that speak to me through silence of moments that were supposed to be. These pounding stories are captured in raging whispers over a calm reflecting thought.
“Envied are those who are loved for they remain forever, the lonely exists only in solitude never to be remembered.”
Blinding are their visions at times with ideas of a rebellious nature invading on a once innocent glance. Each blink reveals an unavoidable picture filled with unspoken memories. These untold stories disturb the lonely and shatter all useless dreams. For within their hands hold overflowing knowledge desperately waiting to be absorbed. But their arms grow weary, no longer able to endure the weight of wisdom ignored. A burden released only by a captured reflection that mirrors images of their own. As I walk in the spirit of my forgotten ancestors I search for their unfinished dreams and am in constant reminder that I too am an expression of a moment loss in time. Shall they parish here in this meaningless state without a thought to support the journey? Their thoughts are all that I am, all that I have, and therefore, all that matters.