“Yeah, her parents have already marked out a room for the baby. I feel like it’s a dream. ”
“Well, it’s not, so you’d better get yourself sorted out, and I don’t just mean buying a house. ”
She meant the alcohol and my promiscuous behaviour.
“I know. I don’t want my kid hating me. ”
Oakley bit her bottom lip, and I knew what she was thinking: the way I hate our sorry excuse of a dad. That was the bottom line, as much as I felt like running until I got my head around the news; I would never let my child down like that. I would never put myself before my baby.
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“You’re going to be a great dad. ”
Shit. I’d gone from no kid to losing one to another man, to having one again. My head was spinning, and even now I was half waiting for Holly to say there was a mistake, and it wasn’t mine.
“I hope so. I’m fucking terrified. ”
She laughed. “I remember that feeling. You both have a lot of support though. ”
I didn’t want to tell her I was terrified of someone hurting the baby. I didn’t stop her getting hurt. Who’s to say I’d even know if anything was going on again? I trusted my friends and family, but I’d trusted my father at one point too.
“Does Brad know?”
“Do I look dead?” Holly wanted to wait a while. I liked the idea, but the longer we left it the harder it’d be.
“Make sure you tell him. He’ll be even angrier if he finds out from someone else. I’m sure he’ll be fine about it eventually; you and Holly are both adults. ”
She stood up.
“Lecture over?” I asked.
“Yes. I just come here to shout at you before meeting Cole and Everleigh at the diner. ”
“Lucky me. ”
“Are you going out tonight?”
“No, I have Everleigh tomorrow morning. That kid plus a hangover…” I shuddered. “And I guess I should start that sorting-myself-out thing now. ”
“Yes, you should. Call if you need me. Love you. ”
“You too,” I replied as she left.
“Hey,” I said as Holly walked in the door to work.
She stopped in her tracks and checked her watch. “You’re early. ”
“Funny,” I replied dryly. “How’re you feeling? Had any morning sickness?”
“Not really. I feel a little more tired than usual but apart from that I don’t feel any different. ”
“Okay, good. You want a coffee? I picked up decaf on the way. ”
She smiled and put her handbag down on the desk.
“That was sweet. Coffee would be nice, thanks. ”
At that moment, Oakley walked through the door and did the exact same thing as Holly had, only she looked at the clock on the wall rather than her watch.
“I’m not always late,” I said defensively and walked away.
The kitchen being beside reception meant I could hear their conversation. It helped that I poked my head around the door.
“How are you?” Oakley asked Holly.
“Good, thanks. You?”
“I’m good. Jasper told me. ”
Holly blew out a big breath. “Thank God! I hate keeping things in, but I wasn’t sure, and he should be the one to tell you. I’m sorry. ”
Oakley laughed. “You don’t have to be sorry. ” She suddenly hugged a surprised Holly. “You’re having my niece or nephew! Welcome to the family. ”
My eyes widened, mirroring Holly’s, but I suppose she was now part of the family. She was the mother of my child, Oakley’s niece and Mum’s grandchild. Holly was going to be in our lives forever. I didn’t mind that. In fact, a part of me liked it. Me and Holly got along – out of bed too – and if I had to be ‘stuck’ to someone else for the rest of my life then I was glad it was her. There was something about her that I trusted. Perhaps it was just because she was having my baby and that meant we had to get along and not piss each other off.
“Thank you,” Holly replied, smiling shyly as they broke the hug. “It’s all kind of sudden but Jasper’s been great. He makes me worry less. ”
“Good! And if you need anything, just ask, okay?”
“Well, I have an appointment. ”
Oakley nodded. “Put your appointments in my diary, so I know when you’ll be out and that’ll save you asking every time. ”
Holly visibly relaxed. “Thank you. I’ll try to schedule them when I’m not here, but I think Jasper wants to come too. ”
“Stop worrying. Go whenever you have to. I remember all the appointments I had, but luckily I was here so I could take off when I needed. ”
“Think you’ll be doing that again one day?”
“If Cole has his own way, definitely. ”
“You don’t want more. ”
“No, I do. Not yet though. ”
She was still dealing with the stress of worrying about something happening to Everleigh. I could relate to that. I felt it every day too.
“Jasper, less earwigging and more kettle boiling,” Oakley said and turned her head.
Damn. Busted. I smiled too wide. “Coming up!”
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Ducking back in the kitchen, I made our drinks, listening to Oakley and Holly laugh at Marcus chatting about Everleigh’s latest gymnastic mishap. The kid just did her own thing.
Marcus adored her and her I’ll-jump-off-whatever-the-hell-I-like attitude, even more now he’d given up hoping she’d follow in Oakley’s footsteps and be Olympic material. Oakley was very disciplined, but now I knew it was because she’d needed something else to focus on through the abuse.
I carried our coffees through to the reception.
“Hey, man,” I said to Marcus. “Want a drink?”
“No thanks. I’ve got a class in five. ”
Holly hadn’t told him. He definitely would have said something.
I put the drinks down on the desk and wrapped my arm around Holly’s shoulders.
“Me and this one are having a baby,” I said, earning an elbow in the ribs. She stared at me with her jaw hanging open.
Marcus looked between us, silently taking in our news.
“What?” he exploded. “When? How? I didn’t even know you were together. ”
I winced. Everyone was going to assume we were together, and it never made me feel any better when we had to tell them our child was the result of a few no-strings nights.
“Oh,” Marcus muttered, noticing our sudden awkwardness and catching on. “Wow, Holly, I didn’t know you had it in you girl!”
“What, to have random, meaningless sex,” she said, blushing and scowling at the same time.
“Meaningless,” I repeated.
I’d had meaningless sex too many times to count in the years between me and Abby first breaking up, and this last – and final – separation and never before had the word made me feel lousy. What the hell is wrong with me?
She shrugged, squirming under my arm. “Sorry, I didn’t mean it like that, just that we’re not together or anything. ”
“Well, as interesting as this conversation is,” Oakley said, grabbing her coffee, “I should check my emails. ”
She walked into her office, and I turned my attention back to the woman that just called sex with me meaningless.
“As fun as this domestic is I’ve got to set up for class. ” Marcus left too, and we were alone.
I raised my eyebrow. “So it was meaningless. ”
She sighed. “No. I just explained, and you know what I mean. It was hardly our wedding night, Jasper. ”
“That’s not the point. I just didn’t think that was how you saw it. ”
“We used each other. That’s what casual sex is. ”
“Yeah I know it is, but I didn’t think. . . ”
“You’re bloody impossible, you know that?” She pulle
d away and walked around to her desk. What have I done now?
“Holly?”
“Don’t. All you want is no-strings sex so don’t complain when that’s exactly what you get. ”
“I’d hardly call this no strings. You’re fucking pregnant!”
Her head whipped back as if I’d slapped her, and I groaned. “I didn’t mean it like that. I don’t resent you or this situation. I want our baby, but let’s face it, neither of us planned it, did we. ”
I slowly stepped closer to her, weary that she might be mad. My choice of words were not my greatest. She didn’t move, so I wrapped my arms around her back.
“That came out wrong. Can we just forget the last few minutes happened, please?”
“Sure,” she replied, and I knew I was forgiven because she hugged me back. “This is going to take work, you know?”
“Yeah, I know. ” We were still practically strangers, and we were having a baby together. There were many disagreements to come, but we’d get there – we didn’t have a choice.
Chapter Twenty-Three
“He’s gonna hate me,” I said, sitting in Holly’s living room as we prepared to tell Brad that I was the father of Holly’s baby.
“He might be angry, but he won’t hate you. ”
“Of course he’s going to hate me and ‘might be angry’ is the-”
“Alright,” she snapped. “I was trying to help and calm your nerves, but fine, he’s going to want to castrate you. Happy?”
I threw my hands up. “No!”
“Jasper, get a grip. ”
I stood up. This was going to go badly. There was an unwritten rule about mates’ sisters and not only had I crossed that line – more than once – but I’d also got her pregnant. I didn’t regret what happened with Holly. I’d never wanted anything as strongly as I’d wanted to be with her those nights, but I should have spoke to Brad about it so it wouldn’t affect our friendship.
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“Why have you started pacing?” she asked.
“Are you kidding? I’m about to tell a mate I knocked up his sister!”
“We did this. You didn’t do anything on your own. ”
I pointed at her. “Let’s open with that. ”
The front door opened.
“Holly?” Brad called out.
“We’re in the living room. ”
“We’re?” Brad said as he walked in and spotted me. “Jasper, hey man, how’s it going?”
Oh shit. My throat closed up. This was Brad, a mate. I wasn’t supposed to have a baby with his sister, especially not when we weren’t in a relationship.
“Good. Look, there’s something we need to talk to you about. ”
He looked at Holly, who stood up.
“You okay? Is everything alright with the baby?”
“Yeah, fine,” she replied.
His attention then turned to me, frowning.
“What do you both need to talk to me about?”
“I’m the baby’s dad,” I said.
Holly gawped at me. We had discussed that we were going to explain a little better than that. Blurting it out was stupid, but there was no easy way of softening a punch like that. It just needed to be out there.
He blinked heavily. “I’m sorry, you’re what?”
I wrapped my arm around Holly, and she leant into me. her petite body fit against me as if she’d been made for me. I liked it way more than I should have.
“I’m the dad. ”
He looked between us for a long time, and I had no idea what was going through his head. Different ways to castrate me, probably.
“I don’t understand. Are you together?”
“Um no,” Holly said. “It happened. . . about eight weeks ago now. ”
He ignored Holly. “You slept with my sister. ”
“Yes. ”
“What the fuck is wrong with you?” he growled.
“Hey!” Holly shouted. “Don’t even start that sexist bullshit, Brad. I chose to go to bed with him. A few times. ”
It was my turn to gawp at her. You don’t tell him that!
“Look, man, I get that you’re pissed with me-”
“Pissed with you? You used my sister and got her pregnant. ”
“Oh my God, I just said drop the sexist stuff!” Holly threw her arms up in frustration. “Don’t blame him for something I entered into willingly. Hell, I even instigated one of those times. ”
I turned to her. “Seriously, why do you do it?”
“How many times has it happened?” Brad snapped.
Holly blushed. “That doesn’t matter. All you need to know is that Jasper and I are having a baby together, and we’re both happy about it. ”
Brad shoved his hands through his hair. “What the hell is wrong with you, man? I knew you were struggling with the break-up, but I had no idea you’d completely lost it. You’re not in the right place to have a kid. You’ve been separated from your wife for five minutes!”
“I’ve been in a place to have a kid for the last two years. My divorce won’t interfere with being a dad. ”
“What about Holly?”
“What about her?”
He clenched his jaw. “You’ve screwed her life up and you-”
“Hey!” Holly snapped. “He hasn’t screwed anything up and when are you going to open your eyes and realise I’m not some helpless child? I’m twenty, almost twenty-one, Brad. I’ve been living away from home for the last three years. I’m an grown-up. ”
“You’re grown up enough to have a baby?” Brad asked, almost sneering.
“Is anyone ever one hundred per cent ready? I’m going to be fine. I’m not doing this on my own. ” She looked at me, although she hardly needed confirmation.
“I get why you’re worried. I’ve not exactly been the most mature person since I split with Abby, but I would never walk out and leave Holly to do this by herself. I’m going to be there every step of the way. ” I looked down at Holly. “I’m here for whatever you need. ”
She smiled up at me. “I know that. ”
Brad cleared his throat, and we both looked at him.
“Is there something between you two?”
“Just a baby,” I replied.
The indecision in Brad’s eyes was clear. He didn’t want there to be more to it, but he also did. No one wanted to think their sister wasn’t wanted by the man that got her pregnant.
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“Just a baby,” he repeated.
“Mate, like you said, I’ve only been separated from my wife for five minutes. I’d turn down Katy Perry at the minute. ”
“And I’m not desperate for a relationship,” Holly said. “Women are fine to be by themselves these days, you know!”
Brad rolled his eyes. “I wasn’t being sexist. I want to know if my little sister is going to be okay. ”
“I will be. ”
“Uni?”
“Taking a year out. ”
Brad was too calm. If we were alone, I’d have a black eye by now.
“Yeah,” I said. “I’ve been thinking about that. ”
She looked up at me with an I-dare-you-to-disagree-with-me expression.
“Hear me out. ” I sat down, pulling her with me. “The baby is due in April when you’ll already be halfway through your final year. If you go back and take a few weeks off after the birth, we’ll figure out childcare.
“Jasper, missing a few weeks is huge. ”
“I know. ” Well I didn’t. I had no clue about university really, only what I’d looked up on her uni’s website to see if we could work it, so she didn’t have to miss a year. “But you could catch up, you’re the smartest person I know. I’ll have the baby as much as I can so you can study, and I know my mum and your parents will too. ”
“Listen to him, Hol,” Brad said.
The fr
ont door opened, and we all froze. Their parents were home. Time to tell them too.
“Alright?” their mum, Sylvie said. “Oh, hi, Jasper. ”
“Hey. ”
My pulse raced. I didn’t want them to hate me for having a baby with their daughter. A daughter that everyone still seemed to think of as a young girl. She was anything but a child.
“What’re you two up to then?” their dad, Carl asked, referring to me and Brad of course.
Holly licked her bottom lip. “Um. Well, actually Jasper was here with me. ”
They both cocked their head to the side, perfectly in tune with each other.
“Oh?” Sylvie asked.
“Not like that exactly. ” Holly took a deep breath. “Jasper is the baby’s dad. ”
In tune again, their mouths dropped open, and I was sure Carl stopped breathing.
Okay, so she was going in for the kill too.
“What?” Carl asked, staring at us dumbfounded. “How is Jasper the father?”
“We’re happy about it,” she said, hoping to diffuse the situation. “I know it’s sudden and I’m still young, but we can do this. It’s going to be fine. ”
“Fine! You’re going into your last year of university soon and now pregnant by a twenty-seven-year-old man that’s not even divorced from his wife yet! How is that fine?”
Holly glared. “I understand you’re upset, Dad, but I’m an adult. ”
His eyes teared up, and she leapt to her feet, hugging his waist tightly.
“I know I’ve always been the youngest, and everyone has treated me differently because of that, but I’m a grown woman now, and I can make my own decisions. And I can have a baby. ”
They pulled away.
“When’s the wedding?”
My eyes practically fell out of their sockets.
“Very funny, Dad. ”
“I’m not happy with you,” he said, his eyes tightening as he looked at me.
“I understand that. But you know I’ll be here for them both,” I reassured him.
He shook his head. “This is…”
Holly shrugged. “I know. Jasper was probably the last guy you suspected. ”
Sylvie came out of the daze she’d seemed to slip into, and she hugged Holly.
“You’re not too disappointed in me, Mum, are you?”
“No, sweetheart. Can’t lie; I wish the circumstances were different, but I think you’ll both make wonderful parents. And at least we know where Jasper lives. ”
“So I’m not getting kneecapped?” I asked, grinning.