Chapter 19
Jacque continued to hold Fane’s hand as she led him up the stairs to her bedroom. Before they reached the top of the stairs Jacque heard her mom yell, “Jacque leave your door open please, mated or not you are still living under my rules.”
Jacque laughed, so thankful for something that made her feel like she was just a girl with a boy, hanging out, not a Canis Lupus, not a mate, just teenagers.
“You got it, mom,” Jacque hollered back.
Fane apparently could feel her relief and it made him sad that he was causing her life to change so drastically and to have become so different from what she had ever known. He wanted her to be happy, he wanted her to feel safe, cared for and loved by him.
As they entered her room Jacque let go of Fane’s hand and stepped away, putting some distance between them. She needed space; she was beginning to feel just a tad claustrophobic.
“You can sit in that chair or the window seat,” she said indicating both places.
Jacque suddenly felt very nervous, being in her room alone with him felt so intimate, yet she couldn’t deny that she was very relieved that whatever he had to tell her was not going to be broadcast to everyone downstairs.
“So, what is this other thing that marks the female as a mate? I’m assuming it has to do with the blood rites?” she asked him.
“You are correct; it is about the blood rites. The reason I wanted to speak with you alone about it is because in the ceremony it is the only part that is done in private,” Fane explained.
“Whoa, whoa, whoa, back up, I thought you said there was no taking it lightly stuff taking place in this ceremony,” Jacque said a little frantically.
“Luna, I’m going to lay this out plainly for you. There will be no lies, half-truths, or bush beating. I’m going to say it bluntly,” Fane told her firmly.
Jacque tried, she really did, but she couldn’t contain the laughter .
“Meu inimă, would you please share with me what you find to be so funny?” Fane asked her patiently.
“It’s called beating around the bush, oh prince of wolves, not bush beating,” she told him, still giggling despite her efforts not to.
“Oh, well my mistake, then there will be no beating around the bush any longer. We are going to call it what it is, so if you turn a lovely shade of red I will try hard not to find it adorable.”
“Fine, spit it out already.” Jacque answered, irritated by his little sermon
She planted herself on her bed, legs Indian-style, back straight, and her hands folded in her lap. She was trying desperately to not be anxious but she was being quite unsuccessful. Finally Fane began to explain the blood rites, and he was right, what he told her made her blush so badly that she felt the heat of it in her face.
“What I told you is true about the bonding ceremony, we do not have to consummate, or make love, which ever you prefer to call it, in order to be fully mated. We do how ever have to exchange blood.”
Jacque cringed at that. “That’s really gross, you do realize that don’t you. I mean surely that can’t be good for a person.”
Fane gave her an “I’m not finished” look which made her abruptly stop talking.
“There is no eloquent way to put this. It just is what it is. I will mark you and take your blood by biting you,” Fane paused waiting for her reaction, she did not disappoint.
“YOU ARE GOING TO WHAT ME?” Jacque yelled, completely caught off guard by his revelation. I mean, she thought to herself, when he said exchange blood I was thinking finger prick, a little embarrassment because I’d have to suck on his finger and vice versa, but biting me, that was in a whole other category of embarrassment.
Fane walked over to her bed and knelt down on his knees in front of her. He placed his hands over hers and she instantly felt reassurance flow through her. She closed her eyes and let herself soak it up, embraced the comfort he was providing for her.
When she opened her eyes she was staring into glowing, crystal blue eyes. “How did you do that?” she asked him.
“For wolves touch is a very powerful thing. It provides comfort and reassurance to them, so it is with Canis Lupus, and like other things it is even more potent between mates. You needed my comfort and I could do nothing else than to provide for you. When you need something it calls to me, I can feel it, my wolf can feel it, and we are obligated to do what we can to provide that for you.”
Jacque tried not to think about that, but call her crazy, which at this point she was bound to be, she could just picture herself craving a Snickers ice cream bar in the middle of the night while a raging thunderstorm wreaked havoc outside; here came Fane knocking on her window, soaking wet, with a Snickers in hand. That could be kinda handy.
Fane had caught all of her little day-dream and chuckled at her. “You do really think the oddest things, you know that right?” Fane asked her.
“Let’s stay on track, wolf boy. Bite me where exactly? Since this has to be done in private I’m a little leery of the answer,” she told him.
“Relax, Luna, I’m not going to bite you anywhere that you might one day like,” Fane said.
Jacque knew he was just trying to get a reaction out of her and much to her chagrin it worked like a charm.
“You just stop that thought right there. There will be no discussing of the future likes and dislikes of our maybe one day physical relationship, got it?” Jacque told him with finality.
“I will humor you for now,” Fane told her with a grin. “Moving along love, I will bite you on your neck. Rest assured, Luna I am a werewolf but at least I’m not a vampire, my bite will not last so long as to drain you of your blood, but only long enough to take enough blood to swallow and leave my mark on you.”
Jacque was quiet for a moment, she took a deep breath and let it out slowly and then said, “I’m not even going to ask about the vampire comment, I’m just gonna let that one slide by without as much as a wave or glance. What I will give my attention to is this whole leaving a mark on me bit. I get that when you bite me you will get blood in your mouth and yada, yada, but how are you going to leave a mark on me?” Jacque asked him with surprising composure about the whole thing.
“I’m not really sure how I leave a mark on you. I think it’s just a part of the whole supernatural part of bonding. The mark I will leave is the visual symbol that you are mated,” he explained. “The final warning to other males that you have been bonded is smell.”
“I’m going to smell? Please tell me I’m not going to stink, ‘cause I don’t do stinky, okay?” Jacque implored him.
“No Luna, you are not going to stink. To other Canis Lupus you will smell like me because you will have taken my blood, and I will smell like you when I have taken your blood. Once we have consummated our mating the smells will intensify greatly,” Fane explained.
“You just had to throw that last curve ball in there didn’t you? Well don’t get your hopes up ‘cause I’m not going to swing at it,” Jacque told him haughtily.
“So this whole biting thing is done in private why?” she asked.
“Would you like me to bite you on the neck in front of your mom?” Fane asked debatably.
“Point to you. You’re right; there is no way that mouth of yours is coming near my neck in front of anyone, not my mom and especially not your parents,” Jacque said.
Oh crap, she thought, I have to meet his parents. She felt panicky at that thought yet she didn’t know why. She hadn’t been nervous when she had met Trent’s parents. She heard Fane growl as he caught the thought of Trent passed through her mind.
“Oh shut-up already you over-possessive, royal, Romanian pain in the proverbial backside. It’s not like I’m thinking about him biting my neck,” Jacque said sarcastically. Once again she just couldn’t help it; she became a sarcastic witch when she was nervous.
Fane stood up and sat down next to her on the bed. He leaned closer to her and swept her hair away from her neck revealing the markings o
n her shoulders and neck. Fane traced the marks with his fingers and let out a low growl. Jacque shivered at his touch and found that she couldn’t quite keep her breathing even, actually she felt like she might pass out at any moment. What came next almost sealed her fate.
Fane leaned even closer and whispered in her ear. “I would hope you were not thinking of him biting your neck. I assure you that once I do you will never have need to think of another again.” And then he gently placed his lips on her neck. Jacque didn’t even try to suppress the small moan that came out of her tightly closed lips. But naturally Fane could not leave well enough alone. After he kissed her neck, he was pulling his lips away he playfully and also gently nipped her neck with his teeth.
Jacque jumped and turned to look at him breathlessly, putting her hands up as if to ward him off. She told him, “I, um.” She shook her head and rubbed her face with both hands as she struggled to get her thoughts and words to cooperate with her mouth. “I understand now why that part is done in private, thank you for demonstrating.”
Fane grinned at her wickedly. “I could demonstrate again, it is proven that people are most likely to remember things when done three times.”
“Nice try Don Juan, but it’s people remembering things they are told three times, not things they do,” she countered.
“We could test out the theory to see if it applies to actions as well, I’m all for scientific study,” Fane teased.
“Well you’re out of luck because I suck at science and therefore do not enjoy it,” she said matter-of-fact-like.
Fane leaned forward again and this time Jacque leaned back, but this did not deter him, he just grinned and leaned closer.
“So you mean to tell me, my micul incendiu (little fire) you did not enjoy my demonstration? If you did not, then I did not do it correctly and I would feel obligated to try again.”
Closing her eyes Jacque immediately thought of a wall shielding her mind and then she came up with plan; evasion is not working, time to move on to plan B, if you can’t beat’em, join’em. Let me just see if I can give him a taste his own medicine and just maybe it will throw him off his game and then I can retreat. You know what Jen would call you right,she asked herself. Yeah, yeah I’m a chicken s_ _ t, so be it.
Her plan of attack decided, Jacque stopped leaning back and instead leaned into him. This indeed did confuse him and it made him back up a tad. Encouraged by the little victory, she got a little bolder and scooted her body closer to his. Fane’s brow furrowed and she could tell he was wondering what was going on, but he did not move, he just sat very still. Jacque decided the angle she was currently in was all wrong for her scheme so she got up on her knees and scooted around until she was directly behind him. She was sitting on her legs with her feet behind her. She placed her hands on his shoulders and leaned her face close until her mouth was right beside his left ear.
Fane shuddered and that made her grin. Take that you little seducing hound,she thought to herself. She let her breath flow over his ear as she told him. “How do you like them apples wolf boy?”
Fane leaned forward to get away from her mouth and she could see the rise and fall of his back; he was breathing quickly. She found herself rather intrigued by his behavior; she could not think of a time that Trent had responded to her like that…oops, she had let her wall down during that thought.
Fane stood up so abruptly that Jacque fell forward and had to catch herself on her hands to keep from falling on her face. She looked up and saw Fane pacing her room quickly and in obvious agitation.
“Fane I’m sorry, I didn’t mean for you to hear that. I wasn’t trying to think about the physical part of my relationship with Trent, I was merely comparing your reactions…” Jacque tried to explain hoping to calm the wolf currently wearing a hole in her carpet from his frantic steps.
“Jacquelyn you are not helping,” he told her with a growl. “I realize you do not understand the intensity of my feelings for you, but I cannot change my nature. In the wild, wolves mate for life, and a male wolf will kill any who tries to take his mate. It is the same with my species. I realize this Trent,” Fane said his name in obvious repugnance “was a part of your life and you can’t change that, and it’s not that I dislike him as a person. It’s just that I am jealous of the obvious affection you felt and still feel for him. I don’t like the fact that you were intimate with him, when that is my right alone.” Fane closed his eyes and took slow deep breaths, and pressed his fingers to the bridge of his nose.
When he looked up at Jacque she could see the struggle going on inside him, he wanted to honor her and give her the space she needed because she had not grown up with his kind and he could not expect her to just accept his ways without compromise. But his wolf did not see things in such muted colors. He thought in absolutes. Jacque is his mate, she belongs with him and no other, her thoughts should be for him alone, and she should give herself to him completely just as he was giving himself to her completely.
Jacque got up off the bed and walked to him. This time she was not trying to beat him at his own game, she was not trying to seduce him, she only wanted to reassure him. In that moment she realized she wanted to be his and she desperately wanted him to be hers and no other’s.
She put her arms around his waist and laid her head on his chest. Fane answered her unspoken thought. “I am only yours, my Luna. I was yours from my first breath and I will be yours until my last.”
Jacque closed her eyes as tears ran slowly down her cheeks. She pulled him closer to her as his hands rubbed her back and he kissed the top of her head. When she pulled back to look up at him he took his hands from her back and gently held her face. Then he did the sweetest thing Jacque had ever experienced.
Fane kissed her forehead, he kissed her eyes, he kissed her cheeks and her nose, he kissed her chin and when she thought she couldn’t wait any longer, he kissed her lips. It was soft and slow and sweet. Jacque let out a soft moan and that made Fane growl. He increased the pressure of his lips on hers and the kiss became much more passionate.
Finally Fane pulled away and leaned his forehead against hers. To Jacque’s relief he was just as breathless as her, and it took him a moment to compose himself.
“I think it’s time for me to say good night, love or my good intentions of keeping your virtue until we are bonded just might take a backseat to my hormones,” he said honestly and completely unashamed at his obvious desire for her.
Jacque smiled at him. She didn’t want him to go, she didn’t want to be separated from him for even a minute, but she knew her mom would never let Fane spend the night, no matter if he was her mate or not.
“Sorin is staying here to help give you and your mom protection. If you at any point feel unsafe you will call to me. I realize your mom is not completely comfortable about you and I being mated, but I need you to understand, your safety comes first and I will not leave you unprotected just to acquiesce your mom. Do you understand this?” Fane asked her earnestly.
Jacque knew her mom would want her safe even if that meant Fane being at their house everyday and that idea suited her just fine.
“Are you always this bossy?” Jacque asked him, ignoring his question.
“When it comes to your safety, yes, I retain the right to be bossy,” Fane told her. He hugged her close one more time and then let her go. Jacque immediately felt lonely without his touch; it shocked her because she felt close to tears over him leaving. “Good grief Jacque,” she thought to herself. “Get a grip, he’s just going across the street.”
“That is part of the bond, love. It is hard for mates to be apart for very long and for them not to share their thoughts. A mate’s soul is not complete without the other and mates need that closeness, they crave it,” he explained to her.
“So what am I suppose to do while we are apart, I mean good grief Fane you haven’t left yet and I’m sad over the mere idea of you gone,” she told him desperately.
Fane placed his hand on
her neck, on the very spot his lips had been earlier. “I will come to you the instant you ask for me. If I have to sleep on the floor right outside your door, I will do it if that’s what you need.” Then Fane said the one thing Jacque did not expect to hear.
“I love you, my Luna. I was made to love you, to protect, and provide for you. Never hesitate to tell me or ask me for what you need.”
Jacque stood up on her toes and kissed Fane firmly on the lips. She pulled away quickly and said, “You better go now before I beg you to stay.” She turned him toward her bedroom door and pushed him out.
She didn’t want to watch him walk away from her, as silly as that might be; instead of using words she sent him a picture from her mind. It was of him holding her close; she was tilting her head to the side like wolves do to show submission, and like a female would do for her mate to fulfill the blood rites. She had absolutely no idea where the thought came from, maybe it was her subconscious letting him know she would submit to the blood rites ceremony. "That’s news to me," she told herself.
In her mind she heard Fane growl in response to the thought and all he said was, “Soon my love, very, very soon.”
Jacque shivered at his words, “Oh goody,” she responded sarcastically.
Hey, what else would he expect from her? Sarcasm was her specialty.
Jacque went over to her window and sat in the seat staring out at the street. She was waiting for Fane to leave her house, so she could watch him walk across the street,. Yep, she had it bad. She saw Sorin step out and then Fane after him. Sorin hugged Fane again. Man they really are a touchy bunch, aren’t they, she thought. Then they talked for a few minutes. When they finally parted, Sorin positioned himself directly in front of Fane, put his hand over his heart, bowed slightly, and turned his head to expose his neck. The only response from Fane to acknowledge Sorin’s obvious submission was a curt nod. Then Sorin turned and walked back into Jacque’s house.
Before Fane turned away to walk back to the Henry’s house he looked up at her window. At first Jacque wanted to duck away, embarrassed at being caught watching him…again. Then she figured what the hey, how often did she get to hanker after hot Romanians?
“I would hope you don’t hanker after any other. Romanian, hot, or otherwise.… Luna what does that even mean?” Fane sent her his thoughts.
“You’re really going to have to invest in a good dictionary and thesaurus, you know that right?” Jacque responded.
She watched as he blew her a kiss and couldn’t help thinking how much she would have rather her lips been on the receiving end of that kiss instead of his hand. She felt her neck tingle at the thought of his lips and was telling herself to get a grip when she realized Fane hadn’t told her something. Jacque jerked her window up and leaned out.
“Fane, you conveniently forgot to tell me how I take your blood,” Jacque told him.
“I didn’t forget, I thought that would be obvious love.” Fane told her, “You get to bite me back.” Fane winked at her and grinned then turned to walk back to the Henry’s.
“If you don’t want to bite him, I will.”
Jacque turned to see Sally and Jen standing in her doorway. Sally lifted her right hand which held a coffee mug. “Hot chocolate?” she asked.
“You better believe it,” was all Jacque said.