"I confess I am of Mrs. Waterbrook's opinion," said Mr. Waterbrook, with his wine-glass at his eye. "Other things are all very well in their way, but give me Blood!"
"Oh! There is nothing," observed Hamlet's aunt, "so satisfactory to one! There is nothing that is so much one's beau-ideal of--of all that sort of thing, speaking generally. There are some low minds (not many, I am happy to believe, but there are some) that would prefer to do what I should call bow down before idols. Positively Idols! Before services, intellect, and so on. But these are intangible points. Blood is not so. We see Blood in a nose, and we know it. We meet with it in a chin, and we say, "There it is! That's Blood!' It is an actual matter of fact. We point it out. It admits of no doubt."
The simpering fellow with .the weak legs, who had taken Agnes down, stated the question more decisively yet, I thought.
"Oh, you know, deuce take it," said this gentleman, looking round the board with an imbecile smile, "we can't forego Blood, you know. We must have Blood, you know. Some young fellows, you know, may be a little behind their station, perhaps, in point of education and behaviour, and may go a little wrong, you know, and get themselves and other people into a variety of fixes--and all that--but deuce take it, it's delightful to reflect that they've got Blood in 'em! Myself, I'd rather at any time be knocked down by a man who had got Blood in him, than I'd be picked up by a man who hadn't!"
This sentiment, as compressing the general question into a nutshell, gave the utmost satisfaction, and brought the gentleman into great notice until the ladies retired. After that, I observed that Mr. Gulpidge and Mr. Henry Spiker, who had hitherto been very distant, entered into a defensive alliance against us, the common enemy, and exchanged a mysterious dialogue across the table for our defeat and overthrow.
"That affair of the first bond for four thousand five hundred pounds has not taken the course that was expected, Spiker," said Mr. Gulpidge.
"Do you mean the D. of A.'s?" said Mr. Spiker.
"The C. of B.'s," said Mr. Gulpidge.
Mr. Spiker raised his eyebrows, and looked much concerned.
"When the question was referred to Lord--I needn't name him," said Mr. Gulpidge, checking himself--
"I understand," said Mr. Spiker, "N."
Mr. Gulpidge darkly nodded--"was referred to him, his answer was, 'Money, or no release.' "
"Lord bless my soul!" cried Mr. Spiker.
"'Money, or no release,"' repeated Mr. Gulpidge, firmly. "The next in reversion--you understand me?"
"K.," said Mr. Spiker, with an ominous look.
"--K. then positively refused to sign. He was attended at Newmarket for that purpose, and he point-blank refused to do it."
Mr. Spiker was so interested, that he became quite stony.
"So the matter rests at this hour," said Mr. Gulpidge, throwing himself back in his chair. "Our friend Waterbrook will excuse me if I forbear to explain myself generally, on account of the magnitude of the interests involved."
Mr. Waterbrook was only too happy, as it appeared to me, to have such interests, and such names, even hinted at, across his table. He assumed an expression of gloomy intelligence (though I am persuaded he knew no more about the discussion than I did), and highly approved of the discretion that had been observed. Mr. Spiker, after the receipt of such a confidence, naturally desired to favour his friend with a confidence of his own; therefore, the foregoing dialogue was succeeded by another, in which it was Mr. Gulpidge's turn to be surprised, and that by another in which the surprise came round to Mr. Spiker's turn again, and so on, turn and turn about. All this time we, the outsiders, remained oppressed by the tremendous interests involved in the conversation, and our host regarded us with pride, as the victims of a salutary awe and astonishment.
I was very glad indeed to get upstairs to Agnes, and to talk with her in a corner, and to introduce. Traddles to her, who was shy, but agreeable, and the same good-natured creature still. As he was obliged to leave early, on account of going away next morning for a month, I had not nearly so much conversation with him as I could have wished, but we exchanged addresses, and promised ourselves the pleasure of another meeting when he should come back to town. He was. greatly interested to hear that I knew Steerforth, and spoke of him with such warmth that I made him tell Agnes what he thought of him. But Agnes only looked at me the while, and very slightly shook her head when only I observed her.
As she was not among people with whom I believed she could be very much at home, I was almost glad to hear that she was going away within a few days, though I was sorry at the prospect of parting from her again so soon. This caused me to remain until all the company were gone. Conversing with her, and hearing her sing, was such a delightful reminder to me of my happy life in the grave old house she had made so beautiful, that I could have remained there half the night, but, having no excuse for staying any longer, when the lights of Mr. Waterbrook's society were all snuffed out, I took my leave very much against my inclination. I felt then, more than ever, that she was my better Angel, and if I thought of her sweet face and placid smile, as though they had shone on me from some removed being, like an Angel, I hope I thought no harm.
I have said that the company were all gone, but I ought to have excepted Uriah, whom I don't include in that denomination, and who had never ceased to hover near us. He was close behind me when I went downstairs. He was close beside me when I walked away from the house, slowly fitting his long skeleton fingers into the still longer fingers of a great Guy Fawkes pair of gloves.
It was in no disposition for Uriah's company, but in remembrance of the entreaty Agnes had made to me, that I asked him if he would come home to my rooms, and have some coffee.
"Oh, really, Master Copperfield," he rejoined,--"I beg your pardon, Mister Copperfield, but the other comes so natural--I don't like that you should put a constraint upon yourself to ask a numble person like me to your ouse."
"There is no constraint in the case," said I. "Will you come?"
"I should like to, very much," replied Uriah, with a writhe.
"Well, then, come along!" said I.
I could not help being rather short with him, but he appeared not to mind it. We went the nearest way, without conversing much upon the road, and he was so humble in respect of those scarecrow gloves that he was still putting them on, and seemed to have made no advance in that labour, when we got to my place.
I led him up the dark stairs to prevent his knocking his head against anything, and, really, his damp cold hand felt so like a frog in mine that I was tempted to drop it and run away. Agnes and hospitality prevailed, however, and I conducted him to my fireside. When I lighted my candles, he fell into meek transports with the room that was revealed to him, and when I heated the coffee in an unassuming block-tin vessel in which Mrs. Crupp delighted to prepare (chiefly, I believed, because it was not intended for the purpose, being a shaving-pot, and because there was a patent invention of great price mouldering away in the pantry), he professed so much emotion that I could joyfully have scalded him.
"Oh, really, Master Copperfield--I mean Mister Copperfield," said Uriah, "to see you waiting upon me is what I never could have expected! But, one way and another, so many things happen to me which I never could have expected, I am sure, in my umble station, that it seems to rain blessings on my ed. You have heard something, I des-say, of a change in my expectations, Master Coppefield--I should say, Mister Copperfield?"
As he sat on my sofa, with his long knees drawn up under his coffee-cup, his hat and gloves upon the ground close to him, his spoon going softly round and round, his shadowless red eyes, which looked as if they had scorched their lashes off, turned towards me without looking at me, the disagreeable dints I have formerly described in his nostrils coming and going with his breath, and a snaky undulation pervading his frame from his chin to his boots, I decided in my own mind that I disliked him intensely. It made me very uncomfortable to have him for a guest, for I was young then, and unused to disguise w
hat I so strongly felt.
"You have heard something, I des-say, of a change in my expectations, Master Copperfield--I should say, Mister Copperfield?" observed Uriah.
"Yes," said I, "something."
"Ah! I thought Miss Agnes would know of it!" he quietly returned. "I'm glad to find Miss Agnes knows of it. Oh, thank you, Master--Mister Copperfield!"
I could have thrown my bootjack at him (it lay ready on the rug) for having entrapped me into the disclosure of anything concerning Agnes, however immaterial. But I only drank my coffee.
"What a prophet you have shown yourself, Mister Copperfield!" pursued Uriah. "Dear me, what a prophet you have proved yourself to be! Don't you remember saying to me once that perhaps I should be a partner in Mr. Wickfield's business, and perhaps it might be Wickfield and Heep? You may not recollect it, but when a person is umble, Master Copperfield, a person treasures such things up!"
"I recollect talking about it," said I, "though I certainly did not think it very likely then."
"Oh! who would have thought it likely, Mister Copperfield!" returned Uriah, enthusiastically. "I am sure I didn't myself. I recollect saying with my own lips that I was much too umble. So I considered myself really and truly."
He sat, with that carved grin on his face, looking at the fire, as I looked at him.
"But the umblest persons, Master Copperfield," he presently resumed, "may be the instruments of good. I am glad to think I have been the instrument of good to Mr. Wickfield, and that I may be more so. Oh what a worthy man he is, Mister Copperfield, but how imprudent he has been!"
"I am sorry to hear it," said I. I could not help adding, rather pointedly, "on all accounts."
"Decidedly so, Mister Copperfield," replied Uriah. "On all accounts. Miss Agnes's above all! You don't remember your own eloquent expressions, Master Copperfield, but 1 remember how you said one day that everybody must admire her, and how I thank you for it! You have forgot that, I have no doubt, Master Copperfield?"
"No," said I, drily.
"Oh how glad I am you have not!" exclaimed Uriah. "To think that you should be the first to kindle the sparks of ambition in my umble breast, and that you've not forgot it! Oh!--would you excuse me asking for a cup more coffee?"
Something in the emphasis he laid upon the kindling of those sparks, and something in the glance he directed at me as he said it, had made me start as if I had seen him illuminated-by a blaze of light. Recalled by his request, preferred in quite another tone of voice, I did the honours of the shaving pot, but I did them with an unsteadiness of hand, a sudden sense of being no match for him, and a perplexed suspicious anxiety as to what he might be going to say next, which I felt could not escape his observation.
He said nothing at all. He stirred his coffee round and round; he sipped it; he felt his chin softly with his grisly hand; he looked at the fire; he looked about the room; he gasped rather than smiled at me; he writhed and undulated about, in his deferential servility; he stirred and sipped again, but he left the renewal of the conversation to me.
"So, Mr. Wickfield," said I, at last, "who is worth five hundred of you--or me," for my life, I think, I could not have helped dividing that part of the sentence with an awkward jerk, "has been imprudent, has he, Mr. Heep?"
"Oh, very imprudent indeed, Master Copperfield," returned Uriah, sighing modestly. "Oh, very much so! But I wish you'd call me Uriah, if you please. It's like old times."
["Didn't I call you Uriah?" said I, for want of anything better to say.
"N-n-no!" he replied, with a fawning air, that made me almost afraid to be in the room with him, he became so ugly.]
"Well! Uriah," said I, bolting it out with some difficulty.
"Thank youl" he returned, with fervour. "Thank you, Master Copperfield! It's like the blowing of old breezes or the ringing of old bellses to hear you say Uriah. I beg your pardon. Was I making any observation?"
"About Mr. Wickfield," I suggested.
"Oh! Yes, truly," said Uriah. "Ah! Great imprudence, Master Copperfield. It's a topic that I wouldn't touch upon to any soul but you. Even to you I can only touch upon it, and no more. If anyone else had been in my place during the last few years, by this time he would have had Mr. Wickfield (oh, what a worthy man he is, Master Copperfield, too!) under his thumb. Un--der--his thumb," said Uriah, very slowly, as he stretched out his cruel-looking hand above my table, and pressed his own thumb down upon it, until it shook, and shook the room.
If I had been obliged to look at him with his splay foot on Mr. Wickfield's head, I think I could scarcely have hated him more.
"Oh dear, yes, Master Copperfield," he proceeded, in a soft voice, most remarkably contrasting with the action of his thumb, which did not diminish its hard pressure in the least degree, "there's no doubt of it. There would have been loss, disgrace, I don't know what all. Mr. Wickfield knows it. I am the umble instrument of umbly serving him, and he puts me on an eminence I hardly could have hoped to reach. How thankful should I be!" With his face turned towards me as he finished, but without looking at me, he took his crooked thumb off the spot where he had planted it, and slowly and thoughtfully scraped his lank jaw with it, as if he were shaving himself.
I recollect well how indignantly my heart beat, as I saw his crafty face, with the appropriately red light of the fire upon it, preparing for something else.
"Master Copperfield," he began--"but am I keeping you up?"
"You are not keeping me up, [Mr. Heep.] I generally go to bed late."
["Won't you call me Uriah?" he said, sweetly.
I thought of Agnes, and I did, but, in spite of myself, with such a bad grace, and in such an abrupt manner, as he could not but observe. He appeared, nevertheless, to be quite placid.]
"Thank you, Master Copperfield! I have risen from my umble station since first you used to address me, it is true, but I am umble still. I hope I never shall be otherwise than umble. You will not think the worse of my umbleness, if I make a little confidence to you, Master Copperfield? Will you?"
"Oh no," said I, with an effort.
"Thank you!" He took out his pocket-handkerchief, and began wiping the palms of his hands. "Miss Agnes, Master Copperfield--"
"Well, Uriah?"
"Oh, how pleasant to be called Uriah, spontaneously!" he cried, and gave himself a jerk, like a convulsive fish. "You thought her looking very beautiful tonight, Master Copperfield?"
"I thought her looking as she always does, superior, in all respects, to everyone around her," I returned.
"Oh, thank you! It's so truel" he cried. "Oh, thank you very much for that!"
"Not at all," I said, loftily. "There is no reason why you should thank me."
"Why that, Master Copperfield," said Uriah, "is, in fact, the confidence that I am going to take the liberty of reposing. Umble as I am," he wiped his hands harder, and looked at them and at the fire by turns, "umble as my mother is, and lowly as our poor but honest roof has ever been, the image of Miss Agnes (I don't mind trusting you with my secret, Master Copperfield, for I have always overflowed towards you since the first moment I had the pleasure of beholding you in a pony-shay) has been in my breast for years. Oh, Master Copperfield, with what a pure affection do I love the ground my Agnes walks on!"
I believe I had a delirious idea of seizing the red-hot poker out of the fire, and running him through with it. It went from me with a shock, like a ball fired from a rifle, but the image of Agnes, outraged by so much as a thought of this red-headed animal's, remained in my mind (when I looked at him, sitting all awry as if his mean soul griped his body), and made me giddy. He seemed to swell and grow before my eyes; the room seemed full of the echoes of his voice, and the strange feeling (to which, perhaps, no one is quite a stranger) that all this had occurred before, at some indefinite time, and that I knew what he was going to say next, took possession of me.
["If no one so umble might aspire to be her husband, Master Copperfield," exclaimed Uriah, with a general twist of himself, ar
ms, legs, chin, and all.
May I die, but I felt, in my keen desire to lay hold of him by the windpipe, and give him a shake, as if he had got hold of mine, and were shaking me!
"And I hope you'll not think it inconsistent my saying that though I'm very umble indeed, I do aspire to that!" he added, with a sidelong look.]
A timely observation of the sense of power that there was in his face did more to bring back to my remembrance the entreaty of Agnes, in its full force, than any effort I could have made. I asked him, with a better appearance of composure than I could have thought possible a minute before, whether he had made his feelings known to Agnes.
"Oh no, Master Copperfield!" he returned, "oh dear, no! Not to anyone but you. You see I am only just emerging from my lowly station. I rest a good deal of hope on her observing how useful I am to her father (for I trust to be very useful to him indeed, Master Copperfield), and how I smooth the way for him, and keep him straight. She's so much attached to her father, Master Copperfield (oh, what a lovely thing it is in a daughter!) that I think she may come, on his account, to be kind to me."
I fathomed the depth of the rascal's whole scheme, and understood why he laid it bare.
"If you'll have the goodness to keep my secret, Master Copperfield," he pursued, "and not, in general, to go against me, I shall take it as a particular favour. You wouldn't wish to make unpleasantness. I know what a friendly heart you've got, but, having only known me on my umble footing (on my umblest, I should say, for I am very umble still), you might, unbeknown, go against me rather, with my Agnes. I call her mine, you see, Master Copperfield. There's a song that says, 'I'd crowns resign, to call her mine!' I hope to do it, one of these days."
Dear Agnes! So much too loving and too good for anyone that I could think of--was it possible that she was reserved to be the wife of such a wretch as this?
"There's no hurry at present, you know, Master Copperfield," Uriah proceeded, in his slimy way, as I sat gazing at him, with this thought in my mind. "My Agnes is very young still, and mother and me will have to work our way upwards, and make a good many new arrangements, before it would be quite convenient. So I shall have time gradually to make her familiar with my hopes, as opportunities offer. Oh, I'm so much obliged to you for this confidence! Oh, it's such a relief, you can't think, to know that you understand our situation, and are certain (as you wouldn't wish to make unpleasantness in the family) not to go against me!"