I nodded. “I didn’t park illegally. I’m not going to pay for something I didn’t do wrong.”
“Look at you, fighting the law.” Ross laughed, and I pursed my lips. Just what I needed at that moment—my friend the sarcastic ghost making this bad situation even worse. Wonderful.
I looked at Ross. “And you were a doctor when you were alive. Stop being comic relief. You’re not funny.”
The police officer looked to my left where Ross would be if the man who’d arrested me could see him. “Are you speaking to someone?”
I pointed at Ross. “This is Ross. He’s a doctor. He’s also dead and waiting for me to bring him back to life so he can get back to his wife. We fight shadows together.” I yawned. I could really use a nap, and since it had been pointed out to me that no one was coming to get me, I figured I might as well get one.
“I don’t think he believes you.” Ross laughed. “Will I remember all this when you bring me back?”
That was a good question and not one I’d been asked before. “Yes. I think. But you’re not getting back to things any time soon. I don’t have the phoenix.”
“You are the phoenix.”
The police officer whose name I still didn’t know banged his hand on the bars. “Enough.”
I leaned forward, my elbows on my knees. “Can I help you with something?”
“As I was saying, the joy over your arrest. It doesn’t make sense.”
Yes, he’d mentioned exactly that before. “And?”
“Why is that happening?”
I stood and walked to the edge of the bars, wrapping my hands around them. They were warm in my hands. Nothing in the jail had been cool. From the moment I’d stepped inside, the place had felt like I’d walked onto the sun and couldn’t get off.
“Because I’m the lightbringer. I kill shadows, and most of the police force is possessed by shadows now. It makes sense. Get rid of the people who might stand a chance at protecting us. Sucks, but as far as strategy goes, it works. I want to eliminate their leader. He’s called The Master. Dude is pretty bad news. That’s right. I’m either crazy or the world is, right? Ghosts are real, and so are demons. Makes you wonder what else is out there, right? All those Sunday school lessons weren’t right, but they weren’t particularly wrong either.”
He groaned and narrowed his eyes. “I don’t believe in ghosts.”
“I don’t care.” I was being outright rude to a police officer, and I was actually enormously grateful to the cops for how hard they worked to protect us. But I was out of sorts, and he was there. “Just because we don’t believe in something, doesn’t make it not so. Good luck with your non-belief. I hope it keeps you safe.”
“I have a daughter and a son. My wife and I, we’ve noticed … it’s like everyone we know is changing. Are you telling me it’s because of some supernatural hoo-ha?” I could feel his frustration through the bars.
I took a deep breath. “Listen, you’re not wrong, and I wish I could tell you there was a way out of this. There isn’t one. The shadows are winning. They’re here. For now, they don’t have reinforcements, but I doubt that’ll last long. You can run. You can try to hide. It doesn’t matter. These are the end days, and everyone’s hopes lay with me. A former housewife who someone, somewhere decided was going to be responsible for all of this crap. I wasn’t even a good housewife.”
“Shit.”
He wasn’t wrong. We were deep in it.
* * *
Getting the ink off my hands from the fingerprinting turned out to be the most annoying part of my day. After I had been hustled out of jail by Ian—my arresting officer’s name—and let go on my own reconnaissance, I’d returned to the hotel. The last thing I did was tell Ian to run as far away as he could from Austin. The shadow police officers saw him let me go. He was going to be in big trouble. The next time I saw him, if I ever did, he’d be a shadow.
The ink was not coming off. Had they used some kind of permanent version to fuck with me?
I stared at myself in the mirror. Once upon a time, I had been vain. I wasn’t above admitting it. When I’d been Levi’s wife, before I’d gotten my memory back and returned to the fight, I’d been pretty sure I was beautiful. Or at least pretty enough.
I was skinnier now, fitter. Yet even with those fashionable changes, I wasn’t more attractive. I missed the glow in my eyes, the ease of happiness that had come with those days. I’d gone to the gym, but it had been more of a socializing experience.
I loved my kids—that much had not changed—but I’d worried about grades and reading scores more than I had about whether or not they had paranormal abilities that were going to get them killed. I’d denied my own talents and assumed they’d be able to do the same. Nothing like cognitive dissonance to make a girl’s life easier.
My eyes were dull. How many times had I died? How many battles had I won or lost? They were all there in my gaze—my distant, angry gaze. I’d given Ian a terrible time in the jail. Told off the PTA president. Was it easier for me think about losing this if I didn’t care at all about anyone at all?
It wasn’t just my eyes that had hardened and looked like someone else’s. Everything about me screamed, “Stay away or I might punch you.”
When had the sweet woman I’d been completely disappeared? Would I ever see her again? Did I want to?
“Kendall.” I whipped around at the sound of Victoria’s voice. My friend, or a reflection of her, stared back at me. “Are you beating yourself up? Are you going to break that mirror?”
I actually hadn’t gotten that far in my thinking, but I might. “You’re not really here, right?”
“I’m still in the other dimension. But I could feel you needed me. So I’m here. We’d all come, even me. I know I said I was done and I wouldn’t fight anymore. But I’m not. I’m stronger after being here. If you want us, we’ll come. All of us.”
I wanted to hug her, but even I couldn’t wrap my hands around thin air. “I don’t want you here. Don’t get me wrong, I could have used help in jail today, but ultimately I want you safe. You guys are family to me.”
“Speaking of which”—she put her hands on her hips—“I think there might be some love going on with Levi and your lawyer. They’re really hitting it off.”
That was more information than I could deal with right then. “Um, that’s nice. Are the kids okay?”
“Better than okay. Super cute. Missing you but proud of the battle we tell them you’re waging. You’re Kendall the Warrior Princess.”
I don’t know why her words brought tears to my eyes, but they did. I spent a lot of time not thinking about Grayson, Dex, Molly, and Abbi. They were a constant ache.
“Oh,” she sighed. “I made it worse.”
“No, I think I needed to see you, Victoria. I needed to hear about the kids and Levi. I’m going to go see if Top Hat has procured the phoenix. If it can work, I’ll send Ross back to you guys. He wants to live still.” And he was a very annoying ghost. “And maybe Malcolm, if I don’t have to kill him.”
Victoria scrunched up her nose. “Erin will be thrilled. I’m not going to tell her until it happens. I don’t want her to get her hopes up and then dashed. No sign of Chase?”
I leaned back on the bathroom sink. “He asked me to move him on, and I did.”
Her mouth flew open, but she didn’t speak right away. I waited for her to slam me with the guilt I probably deserved. Who was I to decide Chase could do that? I should have forced him to stay, not let him decide to check out halfway through the battle. Maybe he’d have felt better when it was over; maybe he had some sort of new ghost depression. I was a bad person. I wasn’t to be forgiven. I was—
“I’m so sorry you had to go through that, honey. How awful for you to do that and to be alone. I’m not … surprised. Way back when, he was the one who most resented being brought back to life. I think if Mary hadn’t said yes, he wouldn’t have been with us at all. She looked behind her shoulder. “Annika and Mary
will be heartbroken. We all will be.”
I didn’t want her to disconnect this strange long distance call just yet. “I could have said no. I could have demanded he stay. I just gave him what he wanted. What kind of friend does that?”
“The kind who isn’t in control of the universe.” Victoria exhaled loudly. “Can I ask you something? I mean, maybe I don’t really understand.”
I picked up my toothbrush for something to do with my hands. “What?”
“Why don’t you kill Malcolm and bring him back?”
I dropped the toothbrush. Why hadn’t that occurred to me? Kill Malcolm. Bring him back. So simple, really. I had that power. I was the goddamned phoenix. I could do whatever I wanted whenever I wanted to in that respect. Grow bodies whenever I so chose …
“Unless, you don’t think that you can.” Victoria shook her head. “I don’t think I could kill Henry. I mean, what if my powers failed?”
I raised my eyebrows. “You killed me with no issue.”
“Those were your powers. Not my own. I love you, Kendall. We all do. Call for us. We’ll always answer.”
If my deal with Top Hat actually happened, I would need their help. It was nice to have friends. And to remember I wasn’t alone. They’d always been there, from the beginning, and they would be for the end.
Victoria faded away, leaving an empty space where her beloved face had been. My heart in my throat, I looked down at the dirty motel floor. I was going to need to buy a new toothbrush.
* * *
Top Hat arrived on time but not wearing the same body. Candice was all gone, it would seem. Amazingly, I could tell who he was regardless of the body he wore. It was something about the eye contact and his particular type of glare. Or the way being near him made my skin crawl. Whatever deal we had made, I would never forget that he had been the shadow who had tried to kill Levi.
The body-suit he put on today was of a young man—early twenties, if I had to guess. He had long brown hair that touched his shoulders. The guy wore a baseball t-shirt and a pair of brown khakis to go with tennis shoes. One of the shoes had a hole in the front of it. Top Hat was usually more put-together. He must have had to switch bodies fast.
“Can I assume your former host is now dead?”
He waved his hand in the air. “I’ve changed twice since then.”
I hated everything about how he killed people for his own use. But this was neither the time nor the place to fight Top Hat. There would be an ending to him.
I would see to it.
Reckoning would come.
“Did you get it?” Top Hat had made some large promises I doubted he could follow through on. If he didn’t have the phoenix, I was done with him.
He held out the icon. In his hand it looked like a totem, a wooden piece of nothing that could be sold on the side of the road or displayed in a museum somewhere.
“I half expected it to explode when I touched it. The Master didn’t even notice it going. He’s so consumed with Malcolm and their battle for control. Your boyfriend won, briefly, last night.” I took the icon from him as he kept talking. “My understanding is they can’t get it to work. They think they might have the wrong one.”
They didn’t. In my hand, the icon moved. Out of the shell of the wood, the bird came alive, pushing out until she stared up at me, blinking her eyes. How could I be the phoenix when this creature lived?
Top Hat sucked in a breath. “Holy cow. How is that possible?”
“How are you possible?” I shot back. I hated having him around while I touched the bird. Somehow, it felt like a private thing to do. “I need a minute. Stand by those cars. Move and I fry you.”
“A thank you would be okay.” He turned on his heel and marched to where I’d sent him.
When he was at enough of a distance that he couldn’t hear every word I said, I looked down at the creature who’d filled my head for the last week. “Are you and I somehow connected?”
The bird spread her wings and launched from my hand. She hovered for a second before flapping her multicolored feathers in front of me. I swore I could feel her inside of me. “I don’t know what I’m supposed to do with you. No one ever told me. Not ever. All the years they could have, I got no instruction.”
Ross’ ghost flew into my vision. He was anxious; I wasn’t even really surprised to see him. I had promised him that when I got the phoenix, I’d change him back.
Goosebumps broke out on my arms. I could feel her magic.
It’s always been your magic, Kendall. Michael’s voice startled me. He sounded far off, like an echo of a noise from far away. Like the canyons from the Other’s space. She comes alive for you. Sometimes for Malcolm, but that’s all about you.
Where was he? Had he said that or had this moment unlocked some other memory I’d forgotten?
I’d needed Victoria to bring Mary back to life.
No, you didn’t. You thought you did, so that was how the magic worked, Gabriel’s low intonation whispered in my ear. You don’t need anyone but yourself to do this part. What you think is what you become. It’s always been that way for you. Choose to believe.
What do you have to lose? Rafael added at the end.
I raised my arm and shot Ross with a jolt of power. His eyes widened, and two seconds later he plummeted to the ground, fully formed and naked as the day he was born. I’d forgotten the naked problem. When we’d brought Mary back, she’d been in Victoria’s house. The nudity hadn’t been as much of a problem. He was out cold and would be for a long time.
I knelt down and took his hand, keeping my eyes distinctly away from looking at his boy parts. With my hand in his, I was able to send him on from our dimension to the one where my friends waited. They’d have to deal with naked Ross. He was home; he’d be okay.
I should have been exhausted, only I wasn’t. The bird still flapped her wings as though she waited for more instructions from me. And I knew what to do.
“Thank you.” I knew I was speaking to Gabriel, Michael, and Rafael. They had put the rest of themselves in the phoenix for me. I was the phoenix; they’d made me one to save us all because it was the only way they knew how to help me. This was their gift.
I breathed in the magic. I didn’t need the bird anymore. I was the phoenix. Like it or not.
Chapter Ten
Top Hat pointed at the ranch house on Lake Travis. It was huge, big enough to house a crowd, and in one of the best neighborhoods in town. One of The Master’s cohorts must have taken over the body of a very rich person. Who was I kidding? Were there any neighborhoods left in Austin that weren’t overtaken by the shadows at this point?
“Get your people.” I hated to even call them that. “We’ll battle. After I get that thing out of Malcolm’s body, we’ll get rid of the rest of them.”
Top Hat nodded. “All right. See you later. And we still have a deal. You aren’t going to destroy us, the ones who help you.”
I’d made this deal with Top Hat. I would keep it, somehow. There had always been shadows around. I wanted them to be the ones of my choice.
“We have a deal.”
I walked up the driveway, kicking a stone as I went. A cool breeze moved through the air. I would, one way or another, save my husband from this fate worse than death. If things went askew, I could only hope he’d wait for me on the other side. Assuming I’d ever get to die.
What a strange transition I’d had. Once upon a time, I’d been afraid of death. These days I wanted to know there would someday be an end.
Chase appeared in front of me, and I jolted to a stop. “Oh, what the hell?”
He rolled his eyes. “Nice greeting, Kendall.”
“I sent you on. It was a special kind of hell. Why are you still here?” Of course, I’d also sent on my parents, and my mother had visited, so why not Chase?
“It’s not my time yet.” He cleared this throat. “It’s possible I didn’t consider this decision enough. There’s still stuff I can do to help. I’ve been re
minded. Strongly.”
I shook my head. Could this day get any more bizarre? “Who reminded you?”
“That’s above your pay grade.” He winked at me. “So do it, Kendall. Bring me back.”
“Chase, you just convinced me to send you on. I—”
He floated right up to my face. “Damn it, Kendall. I make very poor decisions, particularly during times of stress. So, come on. You can—”
I cut him off with a wave of my hand. If he wanted to come back, I wouldn’t complain. I couldn’t possibly imagine who had convinced Chase he wanted to come back to life. He shuddered and, with a loud groan, fell to the ground with a thump. I sighed before I rubbed his arm. Chase was out cold. I didn’t have any inkling how much of this he would remember.
I closed my eyes and pictured the Others’ dimension. Chase vanished from sight, and in my mind’s eye, I saw him reappear in the place where I’d officially left everyone I loved. Almost everybody.
I looked back at the house. Unless I had any other friends or family who wanted to come back to the Earth, I had a job to do. Malcolm was inside that house.
I rang the doorbell like I’d come to call. The door swung open, and all conversation inside the house stopped. Silence met me as I walked casually into the house. One step. Two. Three. The door was closed behind me.
A room full of shadows. “I don’t know if any of us have met before or not. I don’t care. I need The Master. Now.”
None of them moved. I took a deep breath. “I said go. Now. Unless you’d like me to kill you. I can do that, too.”
I dared them with my eyes to call my bluff. “I am the lightbringer. It is what I do. Plus I lived with some of your cohorts for a long time in the Shadow Dimension. I know lots of ways to get rid of your type.”
This got them moving. A shadow wearing the body of a tall, gorgeous African-American woman rushed to a door and opened it up. She pointed through it. “The Master is in the backyard.”