My other option is to start fresh and forget about Eli and my past. I would need a new identity and fake ID.
The path turns, and as I come around the corner, I see someone walking my way.
Shit!
It’s Eli, and his eyes lock onto me.
I turn and slam into a body. Jumping back, I look up into very dark eyes set in dark skin.
“TJ!”
A beat of happy surprise turns to fear as he lunges for me. We grapple, me pulling one arm free but not getting far, before he pins my arms to my side. I thrash.
“You lied to me!” I hesitate, feeling misplaced loyalty to him before I push it aside and kick his leg. He yanks me up into his arms and I see Eli’s right on us.
Before I can scream at him—or scream for help—the world goes black.
***
I come to, springing up out of shadows into a fully alert state, my heart pounding and my body tensed to jump. But it won’t. I get my eyes open and blink but that’s the only movement I can make. The trailer ceiling is above me, the same ceiling I’ve stared at for the last week, but the trailer is moving.
“Megan, I’m sorry we had to do that. I’m also sorry you can’t move right now.” Eli touches my chin and rolls my head toward him. He sits on the edge of the bed with one hand on my hip. TJ must be driving. He really is with Eli.
I glare at him. Or, I wish I could. Really, I’m can only blankly stare at him while he smoothes my hair back from my face, looking me over like I’m a sick child.
There’s movement behind him… I can’t look but I concentrate on the images and think it’s… I think it’s Sabrina.
“You should have stayed and let me take care of you.” He looks troubled as he takes in my face. Guilty, I realize. There’s a few scratches and bruises left from my midnight run.
“You were right. We’re not in witness protection, not exactly. It is a type of protection though.” He pauses again like I can answer him, but I can’t make a sound or move or even swallow.
Eli straightens and runs a hand over his hair. It needs cut. There’s dark circles under his eyes and stubble on his face.
“I have a deal for you. First, I need you to listen to me for a few minutes. I’ll tell you everything. Then you can choose. If you want me to walk out of your life, I will. We’ll take this back to your campground and leave you alone.”
Was there another choice? Did he think I could possibly want to go back with him?
He did.
That scared me. What on earth could make me go back with him?
“Or…” He works his jaw. “Well, first I have to tell you a few things.”
I wait, feeling itchy all over, like my skin is crawling.
“First, I do love you. That’s why I did all of this. And second, this was your idea.”
No.
No!
I scream at him. It doesn’t work but I scream in my head. It can’t be true! Why would I do this to myself?
Eli glances at me and holds my gaze. “You said it was the only way for you to let go and move on. You see, you’d been working undercover for a secret organization. We’re all a part of it. You, me, TJ, Sharon, Nick and Sabrina. Things went bad. The operation failed. It wasn’t your fault, but you couldn’t forgive yourself…”
This is the craziest story he’s told so far. Fire burns all through my body—from the drugs or the need to ask questions? Was the part about Gary completely made up or related to this? He actually expects me to believe we’re in a secretive organization.
But haven’t I wondered the same thing? It felt like a conspiracy, aimed at keeping me secluded. But if we were all working together… That gives me pause. It’s like I’ve been looking at a puzzle, seeing a few pieces, and Eli just swiveled the entire picture around. I was looking at it upside down. This clicks. It fits even though I don’t understand any of it yet. That’s why I wanted to trust Eli, and why I stayed with him for so long when I he was lying, and it’s also why I instinctively trusted TJ and even Sabrina.
Eli leans down on his knees and stares at the floor. Minutes tick by, feeling like years.
“I know you don’t have any reason to believe me, not after the stories I had to tell you. Stories that you came up with, by the way.” He looks at me and offers a small, quick smile. “Before all this, you made me promise I wouldn’t tell you.”
All of this swirls in my head. It sounds crazy, but he kept me secluded at the hospital, paid for that high tech security, had the neighbors watching me… wiped my memory. Somehow, I know he did.
Unless I did. Is that what he’s saying? I did all this?
“I know, you don’t trust me. That’s why I have to break my earlier promise and tell you everything.” Eli meets my gaze, pain and love swirling in his brown eyes, and something in that look makes me believe him.
Part 4: Danger & Decisions
Chapter Thirty-One
He’s finally telling me the truth!
Eli holds my hand and rubs his thumb over my knuckles. I still can’t move besides blinking so my hand is limp in his—I can’t slap him or even pull away. Lying here in the moving camper gives me the feeling I’m in a dream, but it’s all too real.
Talk to me!
He turns my hand over and looks down with a frown. I’m not wearing my wedding ring. Well, what the hell did he expect me to do after he lied to me? Does he think I should feel bad about running from him?
He glances up, but not at my face. I strain to move my head but nothing happens. I think he’s checking if I’m wearing the necklace he gave me.
Damn those deep brown eyes. I shouldn’t feel guilty for running. I had to! A potent mix of fear and relief sizzles through me. He’s begging me with his look, but I don’t know what he wants.
Actually, yes I do. It’s what he’s wanted all along. And right now, I want it too. I want his strong arms around me, comforting me, and his voice vibrating against my neck, telling me everything is okay.
I also want to flee as soon as I’m able to move again. It’s two different directions but it doesn’t feel that way.
Questions fill my head, the questions that have haunted me since waking up from the coma, and now my chest and head feel like they’re filling to the point of bursting. I need to move before I implode.
All I can do is look around without moving my head. The camper is dim. The old dirt brown curtains are drawn tight, so only weak daylight filters in and illuminates the space.
Where are they taking me? I’m not sure how long I was out or how long I’ve been lying here, frozen and helpless.
“Eli?” Sabrina asks quietly, somewhere in the background. “Talk to her.”
Shaking out of it, Eli squeezes my hand. “I’ll start at the beginning. I met you in training at the organization. We were all recruited the same year and we trained together.”
Organization? What is he talking about? Was everything he told me before a lie? Our marriage? Our life in Maine? Does he love me like he said?
My finger twitches. I realize the drug is wearing off, but suddenly that’s not a good thing. The crawling sensation on my skin turns to pin pricks all over. I want to hear more, but as my ability to move returns, my body catches on fire. I have to fight to hold still.
“Meg?” Eli rests his hand on my thigh, worried.
Sabrina appears above me, her face void of makeup and her curly hair pulled back in a ponytail. I can’t see all of her shirt, but it looks like a plain, solid gray. Not her old style at all, at least not the style I knew. She searches my eyes, and her violet ones look much darker in this dim lighting, especially with that spunky sparkle missing. Was that an act too? She looks like she’s hurting for me. “This might be confusing but it’ll come together. Just hear us out, okay?”
My own face is waking up and feels like poky spiders are walking all over it. I manage to frown at her.
“I usually go by Sage. We were friends before your coma, as close as siste
rs. All of us were family.” She wants to say more but looks conflicted. It’s hard to believe that—that these people who have been lying to me were like family. A second later, she nods to Eli and moves away. I think she’s on the floor right next to us, and when I try to look my head finally moves. My free arm lifts a few inches—I can move but not control it well. I start to thrash.
“Megan!” Eli grabs both my hands. “Look at me! It’s okay.”
Sage pulls him back with a hand on his bicep. “Let me talk to her.”
I watch from below as Sage locks eyes with him. I wonder at their relationship, and how they’ve known the truth together all this time while I was in the dark.
Finally, Eli sighs and slides away, standing up. I can just see part of his back and his hand up on the cupboards to steady himself. Sage replaces him.
“You want to know everything right now, and it has to be frustrating while you’re so immobile. Am I right? Can you blink twice for yes?”
I blink twice. This is ridiculous. It reminds me of waking up in the hospital, which doesn’t help the situation.
“We’ll fill in some general details for now, okay?” She takes my hand. This time, I force my body to relax instead of fighting. “We’re part of a group called JP Industries, which stands for Justice and Peace, but the rest of the world doesn’t know that. JP is a cover organization. All of us were working to keep you safe. I know it didn’t feel that way… But, like I said, please just let us explain.”
I close my eyes and count my breaths. These are the answers I wanted, right? I had suspected it was something bigger than I could imagine, but the answer scare me. It also unnerves me that they found me and this camper so easily, that they’re in control when it was my sanctuary.
“Megan?”
I open my eyes and blink once. She doesn’t get it at first so I try to speak. It comes out a jumble.
“What is it?” Her delicate eyebrows pull together.
“Her name,” Eli says from behind her. “You were right, Meg. Your name was Rosemary. Your grandmother raised you until you were seven, when she died, and you went into foster care.”
Eli moves while speaking and kneels down in front of the bed. The memory of my grandmother floats across my mind’s eye, how she held my face and smiled at me.
I manage to turn my head to look around. Sage sits down at the table with Nick.
“Hey, Megan,” Nick says with a half smile, his voice as smooth and sweet as always. His words come back to me from Thanksgiving, when he said Eli was a good guy. Are these people the good guys?
When I turn back toward Eli, I feel my mouth tremble with emotion and pent up frustration. I clear my throat and find it works.
“Feel like sitting up?” Eli asks. I nod and he helps me. It feels strange to move, like my entire body got a shot at the dentist. I guess, in a way, that’s what happened.
Sage, Nick, and TJ are talking up at the front. I catch Sage suggesting we stop somewhere.
I hadn’t planned to, but suddenly I strike out at Eli; one hand, then the other. My hands bounce off him without any force behind them.
“Damnit, I can’t even hit you!” I keep trying, my arms flailing like I’m playing some silly child’s game. He catches my hands and pulls them to his chest. Giving up, I lean my head into him, wishing I could hide. I hate feeling so helpless, once again. It seems to dominate my life now.
Eli wraps his arms around me, holding me still.
“We’ll get through this,” he says by my ear. “It’ll all make sense soon.”
How can this make sense? Every answer is a new riddle.
Chapter Thirty-Two
“What about the choice you offered me?” I ask several minutes later.
He pulls back to inspect my expression, his brow furrowed in confusion—not at what I mean, but why I would even ask it.
“You promised me I could choose once you told me everything. What did you mean by that?” I plan to hold his feet to the fire. He’s not getting off easy after everything he put me through.
“I did. I want you to know the truth. Then you can choose to leave and never hear from us again.”
“Or?”
“Or to stay.”
The camper comes to the stop and the engine shuts off. It’s quiet. Without turning my head, I know everyone is looking at me.
“I want to hear everything,” I say, not planning to give them any kind of answer or indication of what I think so far.
“It’s going to take awhile,” Nick says on a sigh.
TJ leaves the driver seat and slides down on the floor, leaning against the wall, and says, “JP Industries has been around for over sixty years so it has industrial, medical, scientific, and even military branches. But it’s all kept very quiet. From the outside, it looks like a company mainly concerned with research and developing new technologies in different fields.”
“So how… How does that lead to some secret organization like what you’re describing?”
“Well, all that’s a cover for the real work of making the world a better place,” Sage explains. “But let’s move on. I think you’re trying to figure out where you fit into all of this.”
She looks at Eli but I don’t let him speak.
“Is there any chance I can remember my old life?” I ask the question before I realize it’s on my mind. But it’s been in the back somewhere since all of this started, hasn’t it? I catch a glance between Eli and Nick. “Is there?”
Nick clears his throat. “It might be fixable…”
Fixable? Then it was done on purpose.
“Meg,” Eli says softly. “Harris was developing a way to wipe a person’s memory. A few people got a memory wipe so they could walk away. It was the safest way for them to leave. You asked for that too, after our last operation went wrong, but we all thought it was a bad idea.”
“A horrible idea,” Sage breaks in, her face wrinkled up. “But it wasn’t even a sure thing. Eli told me your brain could rewire and try to fix itself. Remember?”
“We don’t know for certain,” Eli says to Sage with a shrug. Then, to me, “You knew it might not last, but you wanted it anyway. Harris agreed after your car accident. Before that, you wouldn’t tell me everything that happened on your end of the operation. You just wanted to forget and live a normal life.”
“So because I was in an accident, all of you decided to go ahead with the memory wipe?” I ask, and realize right away from their looks that it isn’t true. I stare Eli down. “So tell me, how did I get you to agree?’
“You said this was the only way we’d ever be really safe.”
“Then why not wipe yours too?”
“It wouldn’t be believable if we both lost our memories. I wanted that, believe me. I wanted to start over fresh with you, just be two normal people building a house and starting a life, working on cars, painting rooms.”
“And you got it, didn’t you? Our dream life.”
“But I had to know everything. I didn’t like it. I wish we could have traded places.”
“Is it fixable?” I ask again.
“Is what?” He tries his blank look that I’ve come to recognize as procrastinating.
“Is. My. Memory. Fixable.”
“Possibly.”
I hold up my palms up, asking, that’s it?
“I’m trying to explain all of this. It gets complicated. You suffered head trauma escaping from your last position, putting you in the hospital for two weeks. You wouldn’t let go of the idea of the memory wipe. Then we all moved to Sandy. I hoped starting over in a new place would satisfy you. But when you were in the car accident, you pushed for it again. Harris finally agreed.”
“Dr. Harris? The doctor from the hospital?” I clarify, because this really doesn’t make sense. I remember the thin, old man who didn’t seem all that caring for someone in his field.
“He’s a doctor, but he isn’t the doctor he played at the hospital. He’s a scientist a
nd the man running the organization right now.”
I sigh, more like a groan.
TJ runs his hands over his shaved head. “There’s so much to explain. It’d be simpler to just fix her memory.”
“It’s not that quick and easy,” Eli says in a warning tone. “We don’t know if we can trust Harris anymore. I don’t want him to know our whereabouts or plans right now.”
I want to know more about that—about all of this—but my brain is reaching overload. I push myself to my feet and feel dizzy, but I have to move. Eli jumps up and helps me stagger toward the door and down the steps, where I stop and look around. The brightness is almost too much. We’re in a large parking lot.
“Megan…” TJ steps down next to me and rests a hand on my shoulder. I think about when I first saw him in the pouring rain, wearing a police uniform. I felt reassured at the time. “I’m sorry about before. I know you trusted me and it shook you up to find out I wasn’t helping you.”
“I get it now,” I say weakly.
“But it hurt. I hurt you.”
I nod. A second later I think to add, “All of you had to play a part. It stings, being lied to, but I guess I have to blame myself for that, for setting it all up.”
I look into his eyes and can tell he still regrets having to do it. We share a second before he goes back into the camper.
Eli helps me walk around, getting my body back in order. Now that we’re away from the others, I glance at Eli, expecting a flood of anger from him. He gazes into my eyes, his eyebrows lifted in a contrite expression, before he reaches up to hold my face.
“I’m sorry about everything, Meg.” He plants butterfly-light kisses on the fading scratches and bruises on my face, then leans back to assess me again. “You know I’m telling the truth this time.”
“Yes.”
He gently pulls me to him, and I lean against his chest with my face nestled into the crook of his neck. His arms come up around me and suddenly he’s hanging onto me for dear life. A strange noise breaks loose from his throat, something between a sob and growl. I’m shaking in his arms. We’re both losing it. He holds me so tightly I can hardly breathe, and I embrace him back just as hard.