HOWIE WAS ABSOULTLEY RIGHT ABOUT THE FOOD. THE next day I felt as bad as I had ever felt in my life. Not only was I starving, but my muscles and joints were extremely sore due to being pushed to limits that they had never experienced before. I felt so terrible that I wanted to stay home, but I knew that if I did, I wouldn’t have anything to eat for the entire day.
I had lost my mojo and I desperately wanted it back. As soon as I got off the bus, I frantically searched for Howie’s face in the crowd of students. My stomach lurched and growled fiercely as I searched for him. I hoped that his plan of getting extra food for me was already in motion because if I didn’t eat something soon, I knew I was going to pass out. Before yesterday, I was accustomed to the tremendous hunger and the taxing feeling of utter exhaustion. That sickened state of being had always been what I considered normal because I had no frame of reference to compare it to— but now I knew differently. Now I knew what my true normal felt like. Going from the power that I possessed yesterday back to this weakened existence seemed to almost amplify my state of helplessness.
A glimmer of hope arose as I finally noticed Howie in the crowd, making his way toward me. My palms suddenly grew sweaty when I noticed Jason a few steps behind him. Had Howie told him about my secret? If so, how would Jason react?
“Morning, guys,” I said calmly as they joined me by the school bus drop off area near the cafeteria.
Howie could tell that I was nervous. His subtle wink let me know that my secret was still safe.
“So what’s the plan for today guys?” Jason asked as he took a seat on a nearby bench. “It’s Friday. We should do something fun.”
“What did you have in mind?” Howie asked.
“I was thinking we should hang out at 3D. I just finished installing the 3D projector. I think it would be pretty cool to play some video games on it.”
Howie and Jason continued to talk as I fought hard not to pass out. The sweet smell of breakfast wafting from Howie’s backpack was making me hungrier by the second.
“Adam, are you okay?” Jason suddenly asked. “You don’t look so good.”
“I’m fine. I just haven’t eaten anything yet,” I said, hoping that Howie would catch my drift.
Howie adjusted his glasses and grabbed his backpack and withdrew two school breakfasts packed in white containers. As he handed the containers to me, Jason noticed that Howie had several more containers in his backpack.
“What’s up with all the food, bro? Did you rob the cafeteria or something?” he asked jokingly.
“No. I did a few favors for some classmates. It’s no big deal,” Howie replied. Jason was obviously confused, but I was glad to see that he let it go.
I had eaten both breakfasts by the time the bell rang for first period. As we stood and gathered our things, I noticed that Howie grabbed my backpack and left his on the ground beside the bench. I was just about to hand his pack to him when I realized that he had intentionally left it so that I could retrieve the rest of the food that he had gotten for me. I nodded a silent thank you as he glanced back at me.
As we parted ways, I was starting to wonder if Jason knew that we were hiding something from him. He wasn’t as smart as Howie, but Jason was nobody’s fool. If I wanted to keep him from getting suspicious, we were going to have to be careful.
As soon as I entered the main building, I quickly ducked into the nearest boy’s restroom and darted to the last stall. The inside of the stall, like the rest of the room, was filthy, but I couldn’t care less at the time. All I cared about was ridding myself of the present hunger that seemed to be eating away at my very being.
I opened Howie’s backpack and withdrew the last five containers of breakfast, eating them all in under a minute. I suppose my metabolism must have been quite accelerated because I could instantly feel a burst of invigorating energy as the hunger subsided.
The high from ridding myself of that overwhelming feeling of starvation was short-lived as I heard the restroom door suddenly open and close. I pulled my feet into the air and sat quietly as the door opened and closed twice more.
It’s not them, I thought. It can’t be them.
“I know you’re in here, dweeb!” Fat Pat’s voice echoed throughout the room.
“We can do this the hard way or the easy way,” he shouted as I heard the door of the first stall being thrown open. My heart thumped violently in my chest as I heard them throw open the second stall. They were only three stalls away from me and I had no idea what I was going to do when they found me. As I weighed my options, it suddenly dawned on me that I had no reason to be afraid of them anymore. My heart beat even faster as that realization sank in; only now, it wasn’t beating faster out of fear but out of excitement.
“You’re only making it harder on yourself, dweeb. I don’t have all day.”
“Neither do I,” I said firmly as I flung open the door to my stall.
I exited the stall and looked him right in the eyes. I was cornered. Cornered and alone, but this time I wasn’t afraid.
“I told you, you couldn’t run forever punk.” The fiendish grin plastered across Fat Pat’s pudgy face was pissing me off.
“Who says I’m running?” I growled.
Pat’s eyes widened in disbelief. Puzzled, he looked to his minions, Bryan and Jimmy, who were just as astonished as he was.
“You must have a death wish or something, Grim Weeper. I was actually gonna take it easy on you, but now you’re really gonna get it,” Fat Pat snarled as he nodded toward the middle stall, which was labeled with an “Out of Order” sign. “Let's see if you have so much courage after you go bobbing for brownies, Weeper!”
The sickening smell of fecal matter and urine filled the room as Jimmy opened the door of the faulty stall.
“That’s sick, Pat,” Jimmy said as he laughed and grimaced while looking inside of the stall. “Even for you, Pat, that’s sick!”
Bryan grabbed the back of my shirt collar and walked me over to the stall. One look at the contents of that toilet bowl was almost enough to make me vomit. Jimmy stood directly behind me, with Pat and Bryan to my right and left respectively, as I stood silently in the entrance of the stall and contemplated my next move.
“Any last words, chump?” Fat Pat asked before he slapped his massive hand onto my shoulder.
As soon as his chubby fingers touched me, I snapped. Before he could draw his next breath, I quickly whipped around to face him and shoved him across the room. He crashed against the wall near the restroom entrance and collapsed onto the floor.
After a quick 90-degree turn, I was facing Jimmy just as he was about to grab me. I grabbed him by his collar and easily lifted him into the air before he could react. Bryan was frozen in awe as I hurled the kicking and screaming Jimmy at him. Jimmy’s body collided with Bryan, sending them both tumbling to the floor.
Fat Pat had managed to pull himself to his feet by the time that I turned my attention back to him. He was as mad as I had ever seen, but as he rumbled toward me, I couldn’t help but laugh at how slowly he moved. I easily evaded his outstretched hands and punched him hard in the stomach, instantly knocking the wind out of him.
Bryan and Jimmy were still scrambling to gain their footing when I slipped behind Pat, grabbed the back of his shoulders, and forced him to his knees. I smiled as I dragged him kicking and screaming into the out of order stall.
“No!” Pat’s screamed as he tried in vain to resist.
Finally, I tightened my iron grip on the back of Pat’s neck and whispered into his ear, “Any last words, Chump?”
Pat placed his hands on the bowl of the toilet and resisted with all his might as I prepared to plunge his head into the filth that he ever so deserved to guzzle. I remember the moment when he realized his fate. A single tear slowly crept down his face as his arms finally went limp.
Bryan and Jimmy had made it to their feet, but they did not lend a hand to their defeated comrade. They simply stared in a trance at the bony assailant that had somehow si
ngle-handedly taken down their enormous companion.
I glared at them both as I continued to grip the back of the helpless Fat Pat’s neck. I couldn't see my face in that moment, but I knew that my expression must have been horrifying; so much so, that it struck obvious terror in the hearts of two individuals who appeared to be twice my size.
For a fraction of a second, I actually pitied them. I had somehow allowed myself to become that which I had always hated the most. In that moment, it was I who had become the bully. My thoughts of possibly showing them mercy vanished as soon as the image of Howie’s head being slammed to the floor and Fat Pat sitting on him flashed into my mind. There would be no mercy. Fat Pat had to pay for the years of torment that we had all suffered at his hand. So what if it meant giving in to the darkness that I felt clawing its way out of my heart and pouring itself into my very soul?
It had to be done. So I did it.
Pat’s arms and legs flailed as he tried frantically to free his head from the filth of the toilet bowl. The choking and gurgling noises he made were music to my ears. I smiled and remained silent as he continued to struggle.
As Bryan and Jimmy tried in vain to pull me away and Fat Pat’s flailing began to slow, I suddenly realized that I had possibly gone too far.
Bryan and Jimmy quickly backed away as I yanked Pat’s head out of the disgusting toilet bowl and threw him to the floor. I backed away as he coughed violently and gasped for air. The realization that I could have killed him started to set in as I watched him tremble on the floor before me. The fact that he looked so weak and pitiful disgusted me. Ending him would have taken me no more effort than that needed to end a bug. I took another step backward and tried to rid myself of the dark thoughts that clouded my mind. I turned and glared at Jimmy and Bryan, who were still speechless and frozen in place.
“I didn’t see anything,” Bryan said before looking away.
“Me neither,” Jimmy offered.
I said nothing as I approached them. They both cowered in fear as I reached toward them. I grabbed Howie’s backpack, which lay near them, and walked over to the sink to wash my hands.
As I exited the restroom and headed to class, my internal conflict was enough to almost drive me insane. A part of me enjoyed every second of the agony Fat Pat had suffered at my hand, but another part of me was afraid of what I had allowed myself to become. Perhaps the most unnerving part was the fact that I was still fighting the urge to storm back into the rest room and finish them all off. They all deserved to be punished and I finally had the power to do so.
The rage was so uncontrollable that I could barely manage to suppress it. I needed to get as far away from them as possible before I lost control. I knew that there was only one way for me to calm down. My only hope was that she would somehow be able to forgive me.
12. NOTHING SERIOUS