Page 87 of Queen

endless, idle gossip and chatter. He was kind to those in need of

  assistance, stem with those who offended him, and did his best to provide

  722 ALEX HALEY'S QUEEN

  his children with a good home life. In many ways his life was full, but an

  important part of his heart was empty. He missed Tennie sorely, and he was

  lonely.

  He looked at the thin, frail woman sitting on the bench, her child held

  firmly in her protective embrace, and guessed that North was an ambivalent

  destination for her, an ideal to cling to because she had nothing else, and

  wished he could help and give her some other purpose. He had seen an endless

  procession of freed slaves head North, only to return weeks, months, years

  later, with nothing in their pockets but broken dreams. And for all those

  who came back, he knew ten times that number stayed, in disillusion.

  He wondered where the woman would sleep that night, or what she would eat.

  He had seen that her purse was almost empty, and seized the moment. They

  were about halfway across the river.

  "That girl of your'n still looking for a job?" he called to Fred, the bald

  passenger, who was an old sparring partner.

  Fred stared at Alec in surprise. "She ain't lookin' fo' a job," he said.

  His daughter had a job, a good one, nanny to a white family.

  "Well, if'n you hear of anyone..." Alec shrugged. "Massa Cherry's been

  looking to' help this past two month, and no fool girl's got the sense to

  apply."

  Although it was said to Fred, he spoke loudly, above the rain, so that the

  woman would hear.

  "Good job fo' someone," he continued. "Room and board and good eatin'. And

  you know Dora, who cooks for Massa Cherry, she c'n make mean victuals. Her

  hog ribs with barbecue sauce-oh, man, that's eatin'."

  He knew he had struck home, because he saw a flicker of interest in the

  woman's eyes, and pushed his point.

  "An' her pumpkin pie, and her peach cobbler-"

  But the mouths of the other passengers were watering too. It was late in

  the day; they were on their way home and looking forward to a good dinner.

  They shouted him down with aggrieved announcements that they hadn't eaten

  yet, or were hungry, or that their Missus could make the best peach pie in

  the country. The woman didn't respond to the din.

  A WIFE AND MOTHER, LOVED 723

  "Jus' sayin'. " Alec shrugged again. "You cain't get a good hog up North.

  They all skinny ol' things up there."

  He docked the ferry at the northern jetty, and the passengers crowded

  off, bidding him farewell, hungry for their dinners. The woman quit the

  ferry with them, and stood on the shore for a moment as if wondering

  which way to go. New passengers began crowding on, jostling each other

  and complaining of the rain. Alec, who had been busy tying up the line,

  looked up to take the fares, and could see no sign of the woman. He

  shrugged and returned to his business.

  They sailed south again, and Alec could not get her out of his mind, an

  itty-bitty thing, who carried such a sense of hopelessness with her. He

  had done all he could; he had planted a seed and it hadn't taken. He

  wished her well, wherever she was, and fell into conversation about the

  grasshopper plague in the west.

  Freeland was waiting for him on the southern side, and dashed from the

  trees to help his father tie up. Fresh from school, which he hated,

  Freeland loved to work on the ferry with his father. School was a pain

  in the you know what. He helped passengers off and new ones on, and was

  allowed to take the fares, because he was good at counting.

  "Y'c'n count good, an' you never had much schoolin'," he said to his

  father, and barked an unnecessary order to the passengers. "All aboard!"

  "I still have trouble countin' past ten," his father grinned, and cast

  off.

  To Freeland, it was all grossly unfair. He could count past ten, he could

  count to anything, he did most of the money counting for his pappy, and

  he wanted to leave school and work on the farm, like George, his hero.

  He never missed an opportunity for stressing his case to his father,

  especially on the ferry, and did so now, as they headed north. But Alec

  was adamant.

  "You stayin' till you done sixth grade," Alec told him sharply, as he did

  almost every day. "It's what yo' mammy wanted. "

  It was the habitual end of the argument, and Freeland sighed, stared at

  the river, and dreamed of being as old as George, who was sixteen.

  724 ALEX HALEY'S QUEEN

  Alec was sympathetic to his son's ambition. He'd never had much schooling,

  but had done well enough in life. He thought education was a waste of a

  boy's time, but counting was important, and he'd made a promise to Tennie.

  Besides, the discipline wouldn't harm Freeland, and he was still too small

  to be much use on the land.

  He guided the ferr y to the northern jetty, and was surprised to see the

  woman standing under a tree, her child still clutched to her. He felt a

  small sense of satisfaction. She had risen to his bait. Now she had to be

  hooked. He nodded a greeting to her, but she didn't respond. Freeland

  helped the leaving passengers off and the new ones embark, took the fares

  and saw Queen.

  "Y' comin' on, lady?" he called. "Only a nickel."

  Everyone was staring at her, because she was holding up the departure.

  Queen hesitated. She wanted to go back south, she wanted the job the

  ferryman had talked about, she wanted food for herself and her boy, and she

  wanted a warm dry place to sleep. There was only one problem.

  "I ain't got a nickel," she cried out suddenly. "I ain't got one red cent.

  I ain't got nuttin'! "

  It was passionately spoken, and everyone looked at her in astonishment,

  mingled with some small pity for her plight, and annoyance, because they

  wanted to be on their way. Alec took charge.

  "Now I cain't hardly charge you fo' takin' you back where you came from,"

  he called. "Only don't tell all these other niggers, else they'll all want

  a free ride."

  The passengers laughed. They knew the woman would ride for free, because

  Alec was a kind man and she looked so poor, and they knew they'd all pay

  their own fares without hesitation, but with considerable, vocal complaint.

  It added a spark of interest to an otherwise ordinary ferry crossing.

  Queen, angry at having to reveal her poverty and furious at their laughter,

  made her way to the boat. She wouldn't take charity, she told Alec

  grumpily. As soon as she got a job, as soon as she got back on her feet,

  she would repay him. Alec smiled, and agreed that was the best solution.

  Queen settled on the bench and glared angrily at the other passengers.

  "Y'all quit staring at me, y'hear?" she shouted. "What you

  A WIFE AND MOTHER, LOVED 725

  think I am, white trash? I's black like you, so you keep yo' eyes off me."

  Everyone looked the other way and pretended they hadn't heard. Except

/>   Alec, who couldn't take his eyes off her.

  "An' that goes for you too," she shouted at him now. "You and all men,

  y'all got just one thing on your minds, and I ain't got no time fo' none

  of you!"

  Her fury was formidable, and her performance spectacular. It drew murmurs

  of agreement and appreciation from the other passengers, who variously

  assured her that they heard her and wouldn't look at her.

  Except Alec, who simply watched her, and she, perhaps embarrassed,

  changed Abner to her other arm, and stared at the river.

  Freeland was wide-eyed in wonder.

  "Glory be, Pops," he said. "That is one mean-tempered woman."

  "Ain't she just," Alec agreed, clearly impressed by her. They sailed

  south. Queen's temper was almost permanently mean these days, for she

  wore her troubles, her deep anger and her heartbreak, about her like a

  shroud, and the world responded to her in kind.

  She had never gone back to Mrs. Benson, but some strikers, aware of her

  relationship to Davis, took pity on her, and gave her shelter. They had

  little else to give her because they had so little themselves, and when

  the strike was broken, only days later, they had even less. But their

  spirits, unlike Queen's, were not broken. They had not succeeded this

  time, but Davis had given them a sense of purpose and unity, and a belief

  in the future. Three years later they would strike again, and this time

  they would succeed, but Queen was not there for their victory. She hated

  Beaufort, for it reminded her of Davis, and she set off on her journey

  again, with no idea of where she was going, except to find some small

  elusive peace. She did not go North, for if she had gone there and found

  unhappiness again, where else was left to her? Without clearly

  understanding what she was doing, she headed east, back to Georgia, to

  Alabama, and to Florence. If she had thought about it, she would not have

  believed that The Forks represented any kind of sanctuary, but

  726 ALEX HALEY'S QUEEN

  she didn't think about anything anymore; her only concern was for Abner's

  survival, and, to a lesser extent, her own.

  Without direction, without ambition, she existed, rather than lived. Her

  temper quickened and her speech coarsened. She accepted rides from

  strangers, but would not talk to them, only to her child. She hardened her

  heart against the world, because she had lost all sense of trust in other

  people. She took charity, gracelessly, where she could find it, and begged

  or borrowed or stole when there was nothing else. Abner was her only

  consolation, and the only contact she made with anyone was for his welfare.

  He settled into an extraordinary acceptance of their circumstances. He

  stared out at the world with round, open eyes, received gratefully all that

  it offered, and cried only if he was hungry and they had no food, or if he

  was tired and they had no bed for the night. She took jobs if she could

  find them, only to be dismissed because of her short temper. And yet the

  world was kinder to her than she allowed it to be. Folk took pity on her,

  perhaps because ~he was so desolate, or for the boy's sake, and she

  survived. She avoided anywhere that she might be known, such as Huntsville

  or Decatur, and tried to avoid anywhere she had been.

  After a year of wandering, she came to the outskirts of Florence, and was

  forced to make a decision. She could go back to The Forks of Cypress and

  beg some shelter at least, from Jass, or Missy Sally, or she could go on.

  Since going back to an unhappy past was almost worse than her surviving

  present, she chose to go on, but to where she did not know. She followed

  the river and eventually she came to Savannah. She took the ferry north,

  and when the ferryman talked of a job and food, her mouth watered, for she

  had not eaten in two days, and her body craved for shelter, for she had not

  slept in a bed for a week. When she got off the ferry, she walked for a few

  hundred yards on the northern shore, well aware of her empty purse and her

  hopeless position, and then turned back, to throw herself on the mercy of

  the ferryman.

  It was the last run for the day. Soon it would be night. As Alec docked, he

  looked at Queen.

  "Wait there," he said, nodding to the trees. Queen did as he bade, not

  knowing what he had in mind, but put herself in

  A WIFE AND MOTHER, LOVED 727

  his hands because she was beyond making a decision for herself. If he

  proved as venal as all men, she would defend herself, and she would

  survive somehow, but at that moment, she did not know how, or for what

  reason, except Abner.

  Alec tied up the ferry and sent Freeland home. He offered to carry Abner,

  but Queen would not part with the boy. He led her up the muddy path to

  the Cherry mansion, took her in the back way, and introduced her to Dora,

  who was cook and housekeeper to Mr. Cherry.

  Dora was mountainous and magnificent, of brisk manner and immense heart.

  She took one look at the sodden sparrow clutching her boy to her and

  gathered them up and cared for them as if they were her own. She made

  warm milk immediately, then took them into her own bedroom, next to the

  kitchen, and found warm dry clothes for Queen and a fresh, dry blanket

  for Abner. She poured a big basin of hot water for them to wash, and went

  back to the kitchen while Queen changed. She heated up a pot of thick

  stew and talked to Alec, who had made himself comfortable by the fire.

  Both guessed at her circumstances without reaching any conclusions, and

  Alec told her that he had mentioned the job to the woman.

  "Time enough fo' that later," Dora said to Alec, as Queen came nervously

  back into the kitchen. She felt a little silly in the enormous dressing

  gown, and still held Abner close to her, as she was wont to do in a house

  of strangers, however wellintentioned they appeared to be. Dora sat her

  at the table and put a big plate of stew in front of her, and cut some

  slabs of bread. Queen mushed up some meat and vegetables and fed them to

  Abner, making sure he was satisfied before she attended to her own

  hunger. She would not speak, and only answered questions with a grunt or

  a monosyllable, which made Alec a little cross. Thank you was not such

  a hard thing to say. But her devotion to the boy impressed him, and he

  glanced at Dora. She flicked her head at the door, suggesting he leave,

  for she thought Queen might respond better if she was alone with a woman.

  Alec took the hint and made his good-nights. He had to be home to his

  brood, and see what problems the day had brought. Queen did not

  acknowledge his leaving.

  It was clear to Dora that Abner had eaten as much as he needed, and Queen

  very little.

  728 ALEX HALEY'S QUEEN

  "The chile's done eatin', she said. "I'll hold him while you finish up."

  But Queen would not let Abner go.

  "Don't touch him," she said.

  Dora was puzzled and concerned.
br />   "Lord, girl, what you think, I'm gwine steal him from you?"

  Queen shrugged. Too many people had tried to take Abner away from her

  already, but she had no way of explaining that.

  Dora busied herself with pots and pans, and asked about her

  qualifications. Queen responded less curtly, and her answers satisfied

  Dora, who agreed she could have the job for a week, on a trial basis. It

  was long hours and hard work, but Mr. Cherry was a fine, fair man, and

  if Queen proved suitable she would be asked to stay on. There was no

  response, and as Dora turned from the stove, she saw Queen filching some

  bread from the table and stuffing it into her pocket. Again, Dora was

  intrigued, but made no comment about it. She saw that Abner was asleep.

  "Look at that boy, fast asleep in his mammy's arms," she said. "Sweetest

  sight in all the world."

  She sat beside Queen, to try to find some way to communicate with her.

  "Is you still hungry?" she asked, and Queen shook her head. She was

  staring down at her plate, as if her head was too heavy to hold up

  upright.

  "Is you tired?" Dora asked. For a moment there was no reply, but then

  Queen looked at her and tears were streaming down her face. She hadn't

  cried since the death of Davisthere was no point in it-but now in this

  warm kitchen, in the company of a kindly woman, with a job and not hungry

  anymore, a year's worth of tears found their release.

  "I never been so tired in all my life," she said. She held on to Abner

  and wept. She could not go to another human being for comfort, because

  she had been too long alone, so Dora went to her. She put her embracing

  arms around the unhappy woman, and held her to her bosom while she cried.

  As mammies do.

  Dora let Queen cry until she was done, then dried her eyes and told her

  everything was going to be all right now. She

  A WIFE AND MOTHER, LOVED 729

  might have taken her up the back stairs to her room, but she wanted Queen

  to have some appreciation of the job she had been offered, and led her

  through the main hall of the house, and up the sweeping staircase.

  The hall was elegantly appointed, and fine portraits hung on the walls,

  reminding Queen of The Forks of Cypress. She walked up the stairs feeling

  as if she were back where she started, and remembered herself climbing

  stairs similar to this, many years ago, in the company of a woman who

  didn't love her, taking her away from her mammy, who did.

  "Massa won't mind Abner being with me?" she asked Dora, who laughed.

  "Do his heart good to have a chile in the house again," she said. "This

  ol' place has been all echoes and shadows since Massa Cherry's chillun

  done leave home."

  She was anxious to learn what she could of Queen's background, and pried

  gently.

  "Don't s'ppose you ever seen the like," she said, referring to the

  magnificent hall, and the splendid portraits.

  Queen's mind was filled with ghosts.

  "Oh, yes," she nodded. "My pappy was a great man. I lived in the big

  house."

  It wasn't much, but Dora thought it was a considerable breakthrough.

  "Where yo' pappy now?" she asked, as they moved across the upper hall to

  the second stairs. "He passed on?"

  She didn't react when she heard a soft, sad voice behind her, but the

  words stung her heart.

  "No," Queen said. "He didn't love me. Because I am black. "

  Her room was small, but comfortable, and blessedly warm. She made Abner

  comfortable under the blankets, his head on a pillow, and Dora told her

  to steep in the dressing gown.

  "First thing tomorrow, we get you some decent clothes," she said,

  thinking nothing of it. This was too much generosity for Queen, who was

  used to begging for it, and stealing it.

  "I don't want no charity," she muttered angrily.

  Dora was concerned. She needed help in the house and Queen had the

  qualifications, but under normal circumstances, she would have preferred

  someone with a happier personality.

  730 ALEX HALEY'S QUEEN