Elephant Small
Vol 3
Stanski
Copyright©2013 Stanski
Crawling Distance
In Decline
The Night Jasmine
The Fourth Millennium
Hotel 27
A Fetish For Frustration
Elephant Small Vol 1
Elephant Small Vol 2
Cover photo © Stanski
Elephant Small
Vol 3
Contents
1. A Cure For Love?
2. Forever Ago
3. Saturday
4. Ask Me If I Like Hospitals
5. Holiday
6. M14
7. Occupied Territories
8. Uppasak Pharsar- Language Barrier
9. Rain Dance
10 American Sandwich Blues
11. Life On Earth?
12. Final Cut
13. Front Stabbers
14. Give Me – Take You
15. Winter In May
16. Just Do What It Says On The Label
17. Underwear
18. Counting To Ten Doesn’t Always Work
19. Homework
20. Road To Nowhere
21. Resolution
22. No Oil Painting
23. Hidden Gem
24. Whatever
25. After The Drought
26. Just A Thought
27. Influence
28. Put Everything Together
29. The Day after Tomorrow
30. Trinity
31. Fountain Of Tears
32. Plans For The Evening
33. The Climb
34. Investigation
35. Noi’s Ninth In f-Major
36. Digital Display
37. Unwanted Gifts
38. Where There’s Life, There’s Hope
39. Recession Persists
40. Untouchable
41. Workaholics
42. Thanksgiving
43. Number’s Up
44. Starter’s Orders
45. Twennyten
46. Unworthy
47. Grow Old Along With Me, The Best Is Yet To Be
48. Do This Zombie A Favour
49. Fiction; foul Play?
50. This Day
About The Author
1. A Cure For Love?
When Doctor Love came to town
To cure the ‘stood up’, ‘let down’
He hired a stadium
And The Palladium
Such was his world renown
The tickets were sold out; gone
No seats for the love-sick; none
Intended for only
The sad and the lonely
It turns out that’s everyone
2. Forever Ago
A
lonely
man must wait
At last she comes
Claims her love will last
for ever … never fade
Dreaded vote of confidence
precedes her planned intention
Terms, conditions, warnings, threats
In place of passion – tension
accusations, denials
questionable endeavour
She leaves as dawn announces
the first day of forever
Alone again so soon
a man considers
How rapidly
‘Forever’
becomes
a
distant memory
3. Saturday
Kippax, Kop
Stretford End
North Bank, South Bank
Fan-base blend
Murmur – calm
Cheer – thrill
Chant – passion
Whistle - shrill
Man to man
Heart to heart
Mouth to mouth
From the start
Outside Left
To Inside Right
To Centre Forward
Goal in sight
In the box
Odds-on bet
‘Keeper dives…
Offside, yet
Half-time news
Who’s in front?
Oohs and Aahs
Comments, blunt
Lukewarm Bovril
Tommy Hall’s
Greasy Joe’s
To line the walls
Second half
Goals galore
Rovers, Rovers
What’s the score?
(Rovers, what’s the score?)
Referee’s
Final blow
Who’s the best?
Now we know
Four-nil win
Fans depart
Pundits probe
Inquests start
Bus-ride home
Glad we came
So much more
Than just a game
4. Ask Me If I Like Hospitals
Don’t ask me if I like hospitals
Don’t ask me; try asking someone else
Ask me if you really want to know
About why I don’t like hospitals
Overcrowded, congested foyer
Full of theatre gown clad patients
Some are in wheelchairs, others in beds
All of them hooked up to saline drips
All exhausted, stressed and frustrated
Nurses (with clipboards) dashing about
Doctors (with stethoscopes) dressed in white
Porters follow-my-leader, pushing
Trolleys laden with medication
Public address playing pop music
Every few seconds interrupted
By hysterical-sounding voices
‘Such and such a doctor must report
To such and such a ward right away’
This must be why my head is spinning
This must be why my heart is racing
It must be time to make my exit
Atmosphere is intoxicating
Such a chaotic, surreal scene
Along with that antiseptic smell
That lingers inside all hospitals
Causes me to consider reasons
Why I’ve always hated hospitals
The underlying, subconscious fear
Of faulty surgical procedures?
The knowledge that so many people
Enter on their feet; leave in a box?
I don’t know for sure; I only think
That hospitals are nasty places
That it would be good if they were more
Like in ‘Carry On’ films…but they’re not
So no wonder nobody likes them
5. Holiday
I’m lying on my favourite beach
Soaking up sun rays, breathing in scents
My three best friends are absent this year
Due to other commitments
We’d holidayed here in Ninety Six
I remember it like yesterday
Each morning we’d awake to the cry
“Surf’s up – grab your boards – let’s play!”
Never a surfer, so I’d decline
Though I’d promised to give it a go
In truth, I was scared of the ocean
And dangers that lie below
Closing my eyes, I go back in time
Reliving those moments of magic
Trespassing on happy memories
Images, dark and tragic
Suddenly, my worst fears were confirmed
From beneath the surf, Kraken rising
And twenty subterranean beasts
Intent on terrorising
Panic broke out on the crowded beach
As sunbathers scramble caused mayhem
I tried to warn m
y three surfing friends
Of monsters, out to slay them
My pointing and shouting were in vain
My voice wouldn’t carry that distance
Oblivious to blood-thirsty beasts
They offered no resistance
I could do nothing for those at sea
‘Natural’ disaster, so They say
Dismembered body parts washed ashore
On that fateful, fatal day
A backpacker sits down beside me
He’s travelled for years, I don’t doubt it
“If it’s your first time at this resort
I’ll tell you all about it
The beach is great, and the night-life rocks
But not as good as it used to be…
…You should have been here in Ninety Six…”
“I was…just now…you woke me”
6. M14
We were eating seventeen we bought from Thom’s Place (1)
On the corner where the Princess kisses Greame (2)
We considered six or seven in the Claremont (3)
Lights out twelve catch us forty and a dream (4)
Six black mice guide a carriage through the rust storm
To ensure on-time express delivery
Blinking lights, durian sherbet; confusing thoughts
Waking up in a panic – WHERE ARE WE?
From thirty three it’s seven on the forty one (5)
You can do it in about twenty five (6)
From thirty two it’s five, but it always takes two (7)
Get two fifty, then get one-o-five
Or get one-o-three, perhaps choose one-o-nine (8)
You’ll do the job in fifteen or twenty (9)
You’ll never be stuck if you’re coming from the south
If you do it by bus there are plenty
*Metrolink* will get you to the centre of Town
Then buses south will go down Wilmslow Road
Don’t get too relaxed, you know it’s only a mile
So check out all the landmarks as you go
**Refuge Assurance clock, now the Palace Phallus
Past the Universities and MRI
Whitworth Art, The Curry Mile, then any right turn**
And the land of M14 meets your eye (10)
Cocktails are now being served. Today’s special is:
DURIAN SHERBET
The order:
“Durian Sherbet
Agitated, not disturbed”
Best drink of the day!
The ingredients:
Puréed Durian
***Home distilled ‘Isan’ Lao Khao***
Sun-dried chilli flakes
1 - Number 17 on the menu (Chicken Chow Mein) at Thom’s Fish Bar (an unlikely name for a Chinese take-away)
2 - The junction of Princess Road and Greame Street
(I think it should be GrAEme, but everyone says CREAM anyway)
3 - Six or Seven in the Claremont – 6 or 7 pints of Holts Bitter in the Claremont Pub.
4 – In bed by midnight, forty winks (sleep) and dream
5 – 33 (M33) is the post code for the town of Sale, 7 miles away, 41 is the bus route
7 – 32 (M32) is the post code for the town of Stretford, five miles away, but it’s a two bus journey
8 – 250, 105, 103, 109 are all bus routes
9 - Buses are frequent so the journey only takes 15 or 20 minutes
*-* - Metrolink is Manchester’s Rapid Transit System/Tram Route
**-** - The Palace hotel used to be the Refuge Assurance building, its clock tower is a huge Phallic symbol
You pass Manchester Metropolitan University (formerly Manchester Polytechnic) as well as Manchester University itself, Manchester Royal Infirmary (among other large hospitals) and Whitworth Art Gallery, before hitting The Curry Mile (rows of shops), most of which are Indian/Asian/Halal restaurants
10 – M14 is the post code for Rusholme/Moss Side, Manchester, UK
***-*** - Isan is the north-east region of Thailand - Lao Khao is Rice Liquor
7. Occupied Territories
Father had a painfully acute
Understanding of occupation
And the scope of its consequences
His home country having first of all
Been occupied by the Right wingers,
The Fascists, who entered from stage left,
And subsequently by Left Wingers,
Communists, who entered from stage right
Another time and another place?
A temporary situation?
A one-way ticket out, to the world
May have been a physical escape.
Brutal mental torture, however
Continued, sadly, ever after
8. Uppasak Pharsar – Language Barrier
ผม พูด อึก ครั้ง หนึ่ง
ใน ถ้อย คำ คุณ เข้า ใจ ได้
ภาษา ต่าง ประเทศ ?
อุปสรรค ภาษา
ภาษา ต่าง ประเทศ
คำ พูด ผม เข้า ใจ ไม่ ได้
พูด อึก ครั้ง หนึ่ง ครับ
Phom phoot eek khrang nung
Nai thoi kham khun khao chai dai
Pharsar tarng pratet?
UPPASAK PHARSAR
Pharsar tarng pratet
Kham phoot phom khao chai mai dai
Phoot eek khrang nung khrap
I’ll tell you again
In words you can understand
A foreign language?
LANGUAGE BARRIER
A foreign language
Words I cannot understand
Please tell me again
9. Rain Dance
(A Song)
It starts raining - Outside
I start hurting - Inside
And although I’ve tried
To hide the tears I’ve cried/denied
You can see through - My lies
When you look in - My eyes
You’re so wise you realise
The guise I prize/despise
It’s a love/hate - on/off - yes/no - circumstance
I blow hot and cold - You admit/deny romance
Opposites attract
It’s a well-known fact
It’s a mystery why we adopt this stance
Is our freeze/thaw take
The mistake we make?
As we learn the lessons that’s how we’ll advance
It’s still raining - Outside
You’re still hurting - Inside
And although you’ve tried
To hide the tears you’ve cried/denied
I can see through - Your lies
When I look in - Your eyes
I’m so wise I realise
The guise you prize/despise
It’s a love/hate - on/off - yes/no circumstance
You blow hot and cold
I admit/deny romance
How do we compare?
You’re CRADLE; I’m SNARE
But you put me in a deep hypnotic trance
Not a PERFECT match
An unlikely catch
We both know the value of a second chance
We don’t count the cost
Of a fortune lost
We just pay the price…And get on…with the dance
It stops raining - Outside
We stop hurting - Inside…
10. American Sandwich Blues
Well I woke up this morning
body aching
and my head in a spin.
Said I woke up this morning
shaking memories
from under my skin
Can’t take it too much longer
‘cos your mind-play
is a game I can’t win.
11. Life On Earth?
As jasmine-fragrant shadows ride the breeze
I gaze into the star filled midnight sky
As deep and dark and fathomless as time
Or any frozen ocean that exists
On any planet; any galaxy
Contained within the vastness of the night
Sound effects – nocturnal chorus chirp
In digital surround sound stereo;
A rustling; almost imperceptible
Amid the trees and unkempt undergrowth
…The only clues that I am not alone
…That other life has walked on planet Earth
12. Final Cut
TV network broadcasts
Capture action at the links
Live satellite transmission
Covers thirteenth fairway jinx
Hex leaves me out of focus
Forces double-bogey putt
Fast forward; five straight birdies
Qualify for final cut
13. Front Stabbers
‘Pacey’s’ doin’ me shed in again
Said ‘e was sackin’ the blag
Next thing yer know, ‘e’s givin’ us grief
Scavvin’ ‘n’ back on the rag
‘Sharky Starkey’ grafts as a parky
Smokes sixty bifters a day
‘Undred ‘n’ twenny six quid a week
Out of his green-keepers pay…?
‘Tosser’ Tom sez “Lend us a bluey
I’ll weigh yer in when I’m straight
I’m just off up town fer a turn-on
Man, yer a star; sorted mate”
‘Bazza’s’ got forty brick in ‘is bin
Doin’ a bit fer the crack
Rakin’ it in an’ givin’ it large
Taking the piss outta ‘Mac’
‘Mac’s’ off ‘is ‘ead because of ‘is bird
‘Oo everybody’s bangin’
She’s getting’ ‘er snatch out fer the lads
‘Bazza’ sez she was ‘angin’
‘Billy The Beer Monster’s’ skint ‘e sez
An’ ‘e’s pitchin’ fer a sub
Give ‘im some shrapnel, ‘e’ll waste it well
Getting’ leathered down the pub
Football fan ‘Freddo’ knows all the jibs
Got it sussed ‘ome ‘n’ away
Under the turnstiles; over a wall
Where there’s a will there’s…’Freddo’
* * *
That’s me mad muckers; seven sound blokes
Let me explain just in case