“Alex is in love with my brother. He’s in love with her. They have this epic kind of love. Always-have, always-will kind of shit. They shouldn’t have been together, because he’s a pure and she was a half, but they made it work. They did it.”
That made me feel better. A little.
“But Alex was never meant to be with my brother. She was an Apollyon, born in the same generation as another—as Seth. They were meant to be together. It was how they were built, to be each other’s other half.”
I opened my mouth, but nothing came out. Okay. That did not make me feel better.
“They met when Seth was brought to Deity Island to guard Lucian. He was Alex’s stepfather, also ran the Council, and a very big douchebag. Seth didn’t know that Alex existed. She didn’t know about him. You see, when they first met, Alex was seventeen, and the Apollyon doesn’t come into their powers until they turn eighteen. Seth was already the Apollyon, and as far as we knew, he was the only one, but he wasn’t. Alex swears that Seth didn’t know, that he was just as shocked as she was. The two of them didn’t hit it off at first.” He paused. “Well, most people didn’t hit it off with Seth.”
I remembered what it was like when I first met him. Totally understandable.
“He could be a dick. Either you loved him or you hated him, but almost everyone feared him,” he explained. “Anyway, turns out that Lucian knew the whole time that Alex was the Apollyon. That bastard was working with Ares, and Lucian made every attempt to keep Seth and Alex together, because when there are two Apollyons, something crazy can happen. One of them can tap into the other and become the God Killer. And if you happen to control the God Killer, you control everything. Because the God Killer can, obviously, kill gods. That’s a big deal.”
All of this was fascinating, but a bubble of dread began to form in my belly. I tucked my legs to my chest, wrapping my arms around my knees. “When you say ‘together,’ do you mean together together?”
There was a pause and he nodded. “Alex always loved my brother, but like I said, it wasn’t easy for them at times. Aiden pushed her away to keep her safe, and with Seth and Alex both being Apollyons, they were connected in a way that is hard to explain. They knew when the other was in trouble. They could feel things about each other. I know they…they, uh, messed around, but, Josie, what they felt for one another…wasn’t something deep and everlasting. Yeah, they cared for each other. Maybe even loved one another, in a way, but not in the way you’ve got to worry about, okay? What was between them was always a fabrication of fate. Nothing more.”
That…that was hard to fully accept. That another girl out there was connected to Seth, could, like, feel him?
“Seth was never supposed to be the Apollyon,” he continued. “Throughout history, except for one instance, Apollo has always created the Apollyon, but Seth was born a few years before Alex. The gods knew that one of them had done it, and they feared that someone was hoping to create the God Killer. One of them was, and that was Ares. Now remember, Ares was working with Lucian, right? Lucian got to Seth. No one knows how, but it became painfully clear that Lucian had some kind of weird parental control over Seth. He doted on Seth, made him feel like he was a part of a family. He got Seth good.”
Oh no. Maybe that sounded weird to Deacon, to everyone else, but I got how it could happen. Seth had a crap mother. Had a crap childhood. It took no leap of logic to think that Seth secretly, maybe even desperately, wanted to belong—wanted someone who was like a parent to love and care for him. I could understand that. If I hadn’t had my grandparents, I would’ve been lost.
And Seth…he had been lost.
“Lucian got Seth on his side, meaning he got Seth on Ares’s side. No one knew this. There was a lot of other shit going on, but when it got closer to Alex’s birthday, to when she would awaken as the Apollyon, the shit hit the fan.”
“What…what happened?”
He stared into my eyes. “This is the part I hope you’re ready to hear.”
I waited a moment and then nodded.
“Seth was in deep with Lucian and Ares, and he did what they ordered. The first phase of Ares’s take-over-the-world plan was to take out the Council at Deity Island, and that was done.” A pinched, pained look clouded his face, like the memories were too raw. “They used Seth to do it.”
I sucked in a sharp breath. Oh God.
“He took out the Council. It was…it was bad, and it sparked a chain reaction among the other gods. Poseidon showed up. Yep. That Poseidon. He destroyed Deity Island trying to stop Seth and Lucian, but it didn’t work. A bunch of innocent people died.”
Closing my eyes, I swallowed my next breath. I remembered watching the news when that’d happened. Of course, they had reported it as a natural disaster. Horror poured into me, knowing that Seth had been a part of such…such destruction.
I wasn’t even sure I could kill a daimon and Seth had killed… He had killed so many people, either by his hand or as a result of his actions.
“And Seth, it turned out that he’d been trying to awaken Alex before all of that. He was tapping into her aether…and from what I gathered, he was getting addicted to it—to the power. That just made the whole thing worse. Then Alex awakened, and she connected with Seth because of what he was doing. It was pretty bad. The gods were pissed. Volcanoes were erupting. Earthquakes. Shit got real. Ares was on Earth, his influence sparking war and conflict, and we had to cage up psycho Alex to keep her from running off and joining psycho Seth.”
My mouth dropped open. Seth was a killer…and an addict. There were no words.
“Yeah, I’m pretty sure Alex threatened to make a crown out of my ribs or something. She was such a bitch during that time.” He flashed a quick grin. “But as cheesy as this sounds, love conquers everything, even fate and destiny. She managed to escape and Aiden went after her. She could’ve killed him, but her love for him snapped her out of it. She unplugged from Seth and wasn’t so crazy anymore.”
“That’s…that’s good to know,” I murmured, staring at him.
“But, meanwhile in psycho-Seth land, he was doing whatever Ares told him to do. Fighting. Taking out those who were trying to flee Ares. He…he was a killing machine, addicted to power, completely manipulated. Totally psycho and—”
“Please stop saying that,” I cut in. “Please stop calling him psycho.”
Deacon blinked. “Okay. He was searching for Alex, thinking if he could reach her, he could get her back under his control, which would mean under Ares’s control. Whatever bullshit that god was feeding him, it…it warped him, Josie. Yeah, he could be a smug dick before, but what he was like under Ares’s thumb…” He trailed off, shaking his head, and I suddenly wanted to cry, because none of this was fair. “But something happened that changed everything, something reached into Seth and broke him free.”
I exhaled roughly. “What do you mean? He turned against Ares?”
“Yeah, in the end, when it really mattered, he gave Ares the middle finger.” Deacon cringed. “Sometimes the gods can be cruel. In ways I hope you never have to experience or see what they’re capable of.”
Understanding crept in. I guessed it. “Ares got hold of Alex, didn’t he?”
He nodded, his expression full of sorrow. “He got into here, the University, and Alex was with her uncle—Marcus—and Aiden when he revealed himself. She got them out of the room, because she knew Ares would kill them. She squared off with Ares, but… but he was the god of war, Josie. He beat her so badly that there wasn’t an inch of her skin without scars. It was so bad that Apollo had to take her to Olympus to be healed.”
“Oh my God.” Tears pricked at my eyes, pain for a girl I’d never met, a girl that Seth had cared deeply for.
“It was horrible.” Deacon’s voice cracked and I reached out, squeezing his arm. He smiled faintly. “My brother…Aiden heard the whole thing go down, but couldn’t get to her, couldn’t help her. That… Yeah, that killed a part of him. And the only good thing that came from it was…that Seth was connected to Alex when she was fighting Ares. He felt everything she felt.”
Another dose of horror rose in me. How could this get any worse?
“Seth didn’t know Ares was going to do something so awful, and that didn’t mesh well with him. It broke the hold. Somehow he convinced Ares that he could sway Alex into joining him, and he left for the Covenant, bringing Lucian with him.” He took a big breath and let it out slowly. “When he showed up at the gates, we thought it was about to go south, but he simply handed over Lucian to Alex and kind of… He kind of turned himself over. I think…I think he was just done, you know? He’d never meant for Alex to get hurt. I think, deep down, he’d never meant for anyone to get hurt.”
I felt something wet on my cheek and I reached up, hastily knocking it away. God, all of this was so terrible and so sad.
“Even then, Seth wasn’t the guy we knew in the beginning. He was quiet. Completely withdrawn. Kind of like he is now. That shit…it had to have messed with his head.”
My eyes squeezed shut. It had changed him. And it had messed with his head.
“But, that’s not the end of the story, Josie.” When I opened my eyes, he was smiling a little. “Seth was on our side in the end. He worked with us. They ended up freeing one of the Titans to help fight Ares. Aiden had to make a deal with Hades to do so. Yeah, Hades is hot, but also a dick. Aiden had to promise an eternity as one of Hades’s guards once he died in return for releasing Perses—Perses the Titan.”
I gaped at him.
“Who was also a major dick.”
I gaped at him some more.
“Yeah, that apparently was a bad idea, but that wasn’t Seth’s bad idea, so…any-who, in the end…Seth did something truly amazing.”
“He did?” I whispered, wondering how, after hearing all of that, Deacon could even be in the same country as Seth, but then I remembered the first morning here. Deacon had thanked Seth.
His smile strengthened, turning his eyes dove-gray, and I wondered if his brother shared that eye color. “Yeah. You see, it was fated and prophesied that there could only ever be one of them—Seth and Alex. Like total Highlander shit.”
“Huh?”
“Mortals.” He rolled eyes. “Never mind. In the final battle, Alex tapped into Seth and became the God Killer. That was Seth’s idea, because he knew, with his past issues with power, it was too much of a risk to let him do it. They fought Ares together. They won. The God of War is no more. But that damn prophecy could not be changed. The remaining gods appeared. They would not allow a God Killer to exist. Alex…she knew that, you know. She knew what she was doing—she knew the price and still did it. The girl…she had balls.”
I stiffened, going so still I could mimic one of those statues.
“Seth was with her. He held her while the gods killed her.”
“Oh my God!” I shouted, jumping out of my seat. “What do you mean, they killed her? She did all that and they—”
“Calm down, honeycombs. Apollo took care of her.” He waited until I sat down, but my heart was still racing, and I couldn’t shake the image of Seth holding this faceless girl as she died. “When Apollo had Alex in Olympus, turns out he’d given her ambrosia, the nectar of the gods. She died a mortal death, but ambrosia made her immortal. She became a demigod. Not like you, being all cool and born that way, but Apollo saved her nonetheless.”
“Oh.” That was kind of confusing as crap, but I was happy to hear she wasn’t dead dead.
“Then Seth surprised all of us. He knew about the deal Aiden had made, and knowing that he couldn’t be with Alex, because she has to stay in the Underworld for like six months out of the year—total Persephone rip-off right there—and the fact that Alex would never age, he made a deal with Apollo and Hades.”
I held my breath, waiting.
“He pledged his life to the gods and his soul to Hades, virtually becoming their bitch, in return for Aiden being given ambrosia as well.”
“Wow,” I murmured.
“I don’t think you get it. Seth sacrificed his future, his afterlife, his everything for Aiden and Alex, so that they could be together,” Deacon explained, and, yeah, I got it. I just couldn’t believe it. “For how long he has left here—and that’s solely up to the gods—they control him, and once he dies, he will be a slave of Hades. He gave up everything in the end.”
Rocking back, I stared at Deacon, totally mind-blown. “Oh my gosh, Deacon, I don’t…”
“You don’t know what to think or say? I get that. None of us really did. No one expected that from him, but what he did was huge. He gave my brother everything. He gave Alex everything, and in the end, he got nothing.”
Deacon leaned forward, tugging on a strand of my hair. “Until now.”
I blinked.
“He’s got you, doesn’t he?” He let go of my hair. “Don’t answer that yet. I just told you the guy you’re lusting after might have been classified as a mass murderer by human standards and practically became a saint by the end of it all. How do you reconcile those two things?” He shrugged. “I don’t know. So let’s watch Supernatural. The new season is On Demand.”
I just sat there as Deacon found the remote, found the On Demand listing, and flipped on Supernatural, providing some awesome Winchester Brothers distraction.
“You know, that one season where they square off at Stull Cemetery, because it’s one of the Hell gates?” he said, chuckling. “Stull Cemetery is actually one of the portals to the Underworld. Makes me wonder about the writers on that show, you know?”
I shifted my wide stare to him.
Deacon was focused on the TV.
Letting out a breath I didn’t realize I was holding, I sank into the thick cushions, trying to understand the puzzle that was now completed for me. There had been a lot Seth had not told me and now…now I understood why.
CHAPTER
28
IT WAS late.
Deacon had left an hour or so ago, there’d been no sign of Seth’s return, and there was no way I was getting any sleep anytime soon. Thoughts crowded my head. I didn’t know what to think about everything I had heard, and I was wearing a path in the carpet.
What was I supposed to think about him now? He had done horrific things, but in the end, he did the right thing. Did that undo everything else?
Passing the coffee table for the hundredth time, I easily conjured up the conflict I’d seen in his gaze many times, the sorrow that seemed to linger beneath the surface. He felt remorse for hunting down the traitors.
And he had been one of the biggest traitors of all.
Deacon had been right. How did I reconcile those two halves? And that wasn’t even taking into consideration the fact that there was another girl. Yeah, it all seemed like a moot point, but still. He’d given up everything for her.
Everything.
I passed the coffee table again.
All I could think was that none of this was fair. Here I was, pitying myself and my circumstances, when others had fared much worse than me. This Alex. This Aiden. Seth.
He had gone from being under Ares’s control and made to do terrible things, to doing almost the same for Apollo. That wasn’t fair. It was wrong. And it was sad.
But that didn’t change what he had done.
Was I holding mortal convictions too closely to my heart? I was training to defend myself, to fight. There’d be a chance that one day I would face off with people who, for whatever reason, believed they stood on the right side, and I might have to kill them to protect myself. Even humans did that.
As I neared the door, I heard another one shutting out in the hall, and my heart jumped in my chest. No one else was in the rooms near us. It had to be Seth. Without giving much of a pause to think about what I was doing, I threw open my door and rushed out into the hall, barefoot and all. I reached his door, rapping my knuckles on it.
A moment passed and it swung open. Seth stood there, his hair down, brushing his bare shoulders. He held the black thermal in one hand.
I was unprepared to see him, which meant I probably should’ve thought all of this out first.
“Hey,” he said, stepping aside. “I was going to come to you.”
Stepping into his room for the first time, I realized it looked just like mine. Living area. Bedroom through the narrow doorway, and a kitchen nook to my right. My heart pounded in my chest as I looked up at him.
So many secrets in those amber eyes.
“Did…did you all find anything out?” I asked, clasping my hands together.
“Nope.” Stomach muscles tensed and flexed as he tossed his shirt on the armchair. He then raised his hand, scrubbing his fingers through his hair. “There’s no sign of them. Nothing. Marcus is upping the manpower at the gates, just in case. Hopefully, there’s nothing to be concerned about.”
“I hope,” I murmured, lifting my gaze to his. He was…he was so beautiful, but there was such darkness that had to exist in him.
His brows knitted as he took a step toward me. “Are you okay? Did something happen while I was gone?”