Chapter Thirty-Nine
The True Pack Leader
I didn't stay crying in the cabin for long but when I came out, Gage was already gone. "He left?" I croaked.
"He said he had things to do," Jed said softly. I let him wrap his arms around my waist, but I didn't cry.
Carlie was still there, clinging tightly to Rueben. Tyson and Colby stood close together, still gazing out at a distant point where nothing remained. Rodney sidled close to me, where he seemed most comfortable since he had attacked me in a different life. Steven stood shoulder to shoulder with Rueben, not saying anything.
"You sorry to see him go?" Rueben asked.
"Yeah. It seems … empty without him here."
A chill came into our group, making me shiver and huddle closer to the boys. "You suppose he'll come back?"
"He didn't sound like he would. I think … he doesn't feel like we want him anymore."
"But you told him we did, right?" Colby inquired.
"I don't think it matters, Colby. He's a loner, has been for a long time. I doubt he ever would have joined us anyway."
"He cares about you, Willow," Steven disagreed with me quietly.
"He cared about all of us," Jed said close to my ear.
"It doesn't matter now." My heart felt heavy, as if he had died, so I knew he was never coming back. There was no hope in me.
Somewhere in the night Gage was making his solitary way to the ancient city. Even if I wanted to go after him, I wouldn't have been able to. I didn't know where the ancient city was. The entrance was hidden. Unless Gage came back to us on his own, he was lost.
"It's late," I said in a defeated tone.
"And it's been a long night," Carlie agreed. "Will you take me home, Rueben?"
"I … um … "
"No, it's fine." I stood up straighter, pushing Jed's arms away. "You guys should all go home."
"We can stay here tonight," Jed offered.
"I want to be alone."
"Are you sure that is a good idea?"
"Not really," I admitted, "but I still want to."
"Are you going to school in the morning?" Rodney asked.
"We're leaving in the morning." There was a moment of shocked silence. They knew we were going, I couldn't understand why they were so surprised. Bella had come here, she would be back and I didn't want us to be here when she did. I wasn't sure if I was ready for that fight. "You guys go home and sleep … say your goodbyes to Grover," I didn't add Carlie's name but they understood, "and come back here in the morning."
"What will you do tonight?"
"I'm going to pack … then sleep."
Then I'm going to come to terms with everything that has happened, I added silently. Gage has left, Bella is officially evil and she has Ivy. They are after my pack unless I decide to join them in some maniac dream of taking back the ancient city. A city that has only ever been stuff of fairy tales to me. It was all swirling around in a hazy rush, but by morning, when the boys returned to me, I would have a handle on everything. I just needed a minute.
The boys were hesitant but one by one they slinked off into the darkness. Carlie didn't say goodbye to me, didn't even turn my way as Rueben led her off in the direction of her house. I wondered idly why they didn't take her car, but figured she would want an excuse to return in the morning and see us off. She would say goodbye then, I assured myself.
I went back into the cabin slowly, with my head down. The emptiness swelled all around me, echoing loudly in my ears. I could hardly believe that Gage was really gone. I half expected him to come bolting through the door, demanding that we all go with him. I would have gone, I realized sadly.
With a determined set to my jaw, I strode purposefully to my room. It was time to pack.
I was surprised that all my stuff was everywhere. I usually kept all my things in my trunk, always prepared for the next move, but my things were littered all around my starburst room. I bundled up a few pairs of discarded jeans and smelled them to make sure they were clean enough before plopping them into my suitcase.
I found a tattered and ripped shirt with a lot of blue lace on it lurking under my bed. I wondered briefly if the credit card Blake had given me would still work. Probably not, but it wasn't like I wanted these kinds of clothes anyways. I most definitely would not be trying out for cheerleading in our next school.
My old jeans would do just fine, I decided with a grimace. I went to the kitchen to grab a trash bag and almost faltered at the sight of the three plates in the dish drainer by the sink. I wasn't going to cry, I wasn't. I put the plates back in the cupboard with a bit more force than was necessary and stomped back to my bedroom.
With determination born of anger, I started shoving the clothes I had gotten with Aubrey and Lindsey into the trash bag. I didn't need any of them. We could burn them in the morning before we left, maybe we would just burn down the whole cabin. I couldn't imagine someone else living there.
It wouldn't be right for someone else to cook on the stove or lay cuddled together on the couch watching the television. And what if they walked out in the woods and found our perfect little clearing by the stream? Of course, without the wolves in town it would be safe, but … I shook my head to clear it of the offending scene. We would burn the cabin down before we left.
My school bag was still hanging on the closet door where I had left it a few days before. For a few agonized seconds I considered leaving it to burn with the cabin but then I threw it in my suitcase. Who knew if I would have money to get a new one.
I heard glass break under the weight of my schoolbooks. I shifted the clothes until I found the picture frame on the bottom of my case. It was a picture that was taken just last year of Ivy, Bella, and me. Ivy smiled out at me, her green eyes shining and young. Bella smiled but I saw now the lines around her eyes and the pucker on her forehead. I alone didn't smile at the camera. I stood slightly apart from the other two, my expression unreadable, but not smiling.
I wondered what I had been thinking that day. We had gone to an amusement park. Bella hadn't wanted to go, but Ivy threw a fit until she got her way. It wasn't a fun day.
A sudden knock on my bedroom door brought me out of my reverie. I pulled the picture out of the broken frame and shoved it back into my suitcase, throwing away the frame as I made my way to the door.
"I thought I told you guys … " but my words died in my throat.
"Hey," Carlie greeted with a halfhearted smile.
"I thought you were going home."
"Changed my mind." She shrugged.
She didn't wait to be invited in, just pushed past me to perch on the edge of my bed. "And Rueben?" I shut the door and went back to packing.
"He went home. All the boys did."
"To pack, I guess."
"Probably." She nodded. "I know you are going to miss him."
"But?"
"But, I think this is the best thing for your pack … for now," she added hastily at my furrowed brow. "You have a hard time making decisions with him around. You always second guess yourself."
"I need his advice, I like having him here."
"I know but," she wriggled her eyebrows until I smiled, "you don't need him, Willow. You already have everything you need." Had she been listening in when Gage left?
"What about you?" I kicked through my discarded clothes and sat beside Carlie on the bed.
"I'm glad you asked." She smiled wide.
"I know that you want us to stay but … "
"I just want to be where you guys are." The intensity in her voice took me a little aback.
"You don't know what you are asking."
"Don't I?"
"It will be dangerous. Bella won't just leave us alone, and if we fall she isn't going to let you live."
"Not to be a drama queen or anything, but I won't want to live without you guys. Besides," she grabbed tight to my hand, "you aren't going to fall."
"I can't promise to protect you."
 
; "I'm not asking you to."
"And I guess you have already talked to the boys about this?"
She nodded. "But you already know they won't do anything without your say so."
I took a deep breath. I had known Carlie would want to go with us. Maybe I had already made up my mind a long time ago. If Gage was still with us … but he wasn't. "Ok, you can come."
"Really?" she squealed. "I didn't even have to resort to tears!" She threw her arms around me for a second then jumped up. "I am going to pack but I'll be back here tonight."
"Don't tell your dad … "
"I won't," she shook her head. "I have already wrote him a goodbye letter, letting him know I left on my own free will so he doesn't think I was kidnapped and come looking for me."
"When did you write that?"
"Oh," she waved her hands, "a few days ago … " She shrugged, not bothering to look guilty. "See you in a few!"
I smiled almost as wide as Carlie as she bounced out of the room. It would be nice to have her with us, and Rueben would be happy. I could almost feel excited about moving and starting over knowing that Carlie and the boys' would be there. Maybe there was a little truth to what Carlie said, I didn't need Gage to make decisions.
I picked up the trash bag with the discarded clothes and broken frame and tied the top. After another quick look around the now almost empty room, I added a few items to my suitcase and zipped it closed. I stacked it against the door and took the trash bag outside and to the small pit where trash had been burned before we lived there.
I found some matches near the pit and figured it must be fate. I sat down on a log and watched as the flames leapt higher, devouring the bag and ripped clothes. Maybe we would leave the cabin standing.
Burned pieces of fabric flew into the air around me, creating a shower of sparks. I tilted my face into the breeze. I could just make out the sound of the stream nearby. The water rushed and gurgled over the rocks, creating the background of a melody. The crickets added their music to the night, followed by a mournful song of the breeze through a hollowed out log. Leaves rustled high on the branches, and everything felt right.
My lips curved up in the corners, warmth spreading through my chest. Somewhere far in the distance I heard the sound of a lone wolf baying at the almost full moon.
About the Author
Amy Richie has lived in a small town her entire life. She lives with her three kids and their pet rat Jasper. She began writing in high school but never took it seriously until a few years ago. She enjoys writing because it takes her out of her everyday life and gives life to the people in her head. Amy says: "When I was little I wanted to be a mermaid, then when I was in high school I wanted to be a vampire; now as an adult I'm a writer, which is better because now I get to be both."
Visit her on her website: amyrichie.weebly.com
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