She blinked back tears, but the crack in her heart was already wide open. "Susan and Bob wouldn't have told you any of that."
"It was a kid who lived across the hall in our tenement block. He overheard it all and wanted to make sure I knew all the reasons my dad didn't want me."
Kids could be brutal, especially if they'd been abused themselves. But Evan shrugged as if he hadn't cared. Even though his father's words must have felt like being abandoned all over again, no matter what the man had done to him. He'd still been unwanted.
"I'm so glad Susan and Bob opened up their hearts, and their home, to you."
"I wasn't a great houseguest."
"You weren't a houseguest at all. You were a son to them from the start."
"I know that now. But it took years. And a lot of acting out. And continued silence. Like you said, sometimes that's the worst. It must have hurt them that I couldn't let it all out. They must have felt like they weren't helping me. When the truth was that I would have died without them. I just didn't know how to show my gratitude."
Her chest was achy and tight for the boy he'd been, for the pain he'd felt, the agony, for the adult world he couldn't understand.
But he had learned in the end. To accept love. To trust. To discover people's true worth.
Until Whitney had destroyed him all over again.
Nothing and no one on earth could have stopped Paige from throwing her arms around him then. Holding him tight, giving him all her caring, her warmth, her sympathy, her comfort.
She'd done it for patients, when they were crying, when they needed an arm around them and a gentle voice to talk them through. That's all it was. It was all she intended it to be.
Until Evan's mouth met hers.
And it became so much more.
Chapter Fourteen
Evan sank into Paige, her taste, her scent. Her kiss was heady, and he lost himself in her, the feel of her smooth, soft skin beneath his hand where he reached up to cup her cheek, the sound of her breath as it hitched, the sexy little moan vibrating in her throat.
He'd been lost, wandering in the dark. Now, he let himself be found in Paige's light, her sweetness. Hauling her close, until there wasn't an inch left between them, he tunneled his fingers into her hair as he ravaged her lips. She surrounded him, with her arms, her warmth, her legs, her body. Straddling him, she took as much as he did, consuming him in equal measure.
Almost as if his hands didn't belong to him, they pulled open her shirt, the little buttons easily giving way beneath the force of his need. Her bra was next, the thin silk straps no barrier at all as he kissed his way down her neck to the hollow at her collarbone and along her shoulder. Her head fell back, giving him greater access, and she tantalized him with a moan of pleasure that thrummed through his body.
He dragged the silk, down, down, down...until the swells of her gorgeous breasts fell free.
He had to touch--Lord, she was beautiful--had to brush the pads of his thumbs over the taut peaks. And he had to taste. He would die if he didn't. His lips closed around her, sucking, laving her with his tongue, plumping her flesh. With his other hand, he cupped her butt through her jeans, his body rocking up to meet hers.
"Evan." His name came on a throaty groan of need. "It's so good. So perfect. Please. Don't stop."
God, he didn't ever want to stop. But her voice made it all real. What they were doing.
And how wrong it was.
He couldn't keep kissing her, couldn't touch her breasts again, couldn't taste her as if she were his.
Because she wasn't. She never could be. And not just because she was his sister-in-law.
He didn't deserve her light. Couldn't forget that he came from darkness. Couldn't forget that things were an even bigger mess now than ever before. Hauling her deeper into his screwed-up life would only get her hurt in the end. He owed her so much more than dragging her into all that trouble.
"Evan?"
She held him in her arms, and he wanted her so damn badly. His need, his longing, was an ache in every muscle, in every cell, his body crying out for her.
And his heart wanted her just as much.
More.
"This is wrong," he murmured, his arms still not willing to let her go even as his mind screamed out that he had to end it. He forced himself to shift back, to look her in the eye. "We can't do this."
"It's not wrong," she said softly, her lips so close he ached to taste them again. "And I'm not sorry for it."
He couldn't believe that the full-blown, no-holds-barred story of his childhood hadn't sent her running. Whitney had never wanted to hear it, preferring to think of the future and ignore the past as if it played no part in who they'd become as adults. And he'd been willing to go along with that, relieved to keep it all inside.
But it turned out that telling Paige had been an unburdening for him. He'd actually felt a fraction of the weight lifting off him as he'd talked.
Paige had offered to care, to listen. That was why she'd hugged him. But he'd taken so much more than that.
Because he was damaged goods.
God, she was so damned tempting. Intoxicating. Irresistible. He'd never wanted anyone more. Never.
But he couldn't have her. Couldn't make one more selfish, bad move. Not after Whitney's lies had sent him into hiding from the people who loved him. Not after the siblings he'd never known about had shown up on his doorstep asking not just for help, but for the simple chance to get to know him. Not after his mother had suddenly reappeared and all but begged for forgiveness.
"Why?"
The word was out before he could stop it. Everyone seemed to want something from him. Whitney had wanted him to live a life that was a lie. Tony and Kelsey wanted a big brother to help with their mother. Theresa wanted him to absolve her so that they could start again. But what did Paige want? He'd been so relieved when she'd appeared on his doorstep that he hadn't even thought to ask. But now that he was trying to get himself to think clearly again, it was imperative that he know.
"Why did you come here today? Why did you leave Chicago and the celebration so soon?"
"This is why." She looked down at her body draped over his, then shook her head as though realizing she'd said the wrong thing. "Not to jump you. But to talk with you." Her gaze lowered to his mouth again. "About our kiss in Chicago." She looked into his eyes. "And about why you avoided me after."
Suddenly, the air tightened around him, like a vacuum sucking all the breath out of him. He pulled her bra straps up, set them in place, then made himself lift her from his lap, setting her back on the couch.
"Kissing you..." It's like being able to finally breathe again. But he couldn't say that. It would only lead them deeper down the rabbit hole. "You're a beautiful woman, Paige. With a huge heart. I couldn't have done this today without you. Couldn't have gotten through so many things without you."
The hurt darkening her eyes made him cringe as he fumbled through. But he had to stop this thing growing between them. Now. Before he hurt her. He couldn't trust his own feelings anymore, his decisions, his emotions. And he couldn't let Paige pay the price for that.
"But we both know we can't do this."
He sounded like a broken record. But that was because there was nothing else to say.
"I don't know it." She was already buttoning up her shirt, her hands surprisingly steady when his felt like they were caught in a major aftershock. "But you've got your family to deal with right now. So I'll keep helping you with them." She stood, then added, "If you want me to."
Her gorgeous curves were backlit by the late afternoon sun streaming in through his library windows. Her lips were swollen from his kisses. Her hair was tangled from his hands.
God, the things he wanted. Things that might destroy her--that could destroy them both--if he actually took them.
Yet he couldn't stand the thought of pushing her away completely. "Yes, I still want that." I still want you. "Your help. I really need your help, Paige."
r />
"All right, then." She didn't smile, but she met his gaze steadily. "Thank you for telling me about your father. I know it was hard, but I hope it helped you. And it explains so much if I'm to try to help you with your family."
For nearly a decade, he hadn't allowed himself to knowingly compare Paige to Whitney. But now he couldn't stop the thought that she outshone her sister by miles. Whitney's facade was indisputably gorgeous--but Paige was as beautiful inside as she was on the outside.
She walked away then.
Not only beautiful, but strong too.
*
Paige put a hand to her trembling lips as she drove.
She would have let him take her right there on the couch. She would have given him anything.
Everything.
She knew in every corner of her soul that what they'd just done wasn't wrong. Their passion had quickly flared out of control, but it had been perfect and beautiful.
Only the timing was wrong. As bad as it could be.
He'd been through so much in the last month with Whitney. Even more today with the surprise appearance of his siblings and the mother who had deserted him. He needed to deal with his family, find a resolution in his own heart. He had to find a way to come to terms with his past, his father, his mother, the things those two people had done to him.
Yet none of that changed her feelings. She'd never known how to make love easy. Or simple. And she sure didn't know how now.
All she knew was that with every kiss they shared--and with every part of his past that Evan revealed to her--she fell deeper. Harder.
And despite his insistence that what they were doing was wrong, those kisses--and the way he looked at her in those rare and precious moments when he dropped his guard--made her grow more hopeful that she might not be the only one falling.
Chapter Fifteen
Evan was strung out from four nights with hardly any sleep. He hadn't been able to keep from playing those moments with Paige on the sofa over and over in his head. How good her skin had felt beneath his hands. How perfect her lips had been beneath his. How much he'd wanted to tear off every last stitch of her clothing and take her.
Slow.
Fast.
Gentle.
Rough.
Any way he could.
Every way he could.
No matter how hard he'd tried to blank out his mind and fall asleep, he couldn't stop thinking about her. Until he was sure he'd go stark raving mad with need and desire.
But now it was Tuesday morning, and Evan was in the backseat finishing up his phone call with a florist as Mortimer maneuvered through traffic heading up to San Francisco. He needed to let Paige know how much he appreciated her help on Sunday. He wanted to say thank you with more than a bouquet of flowers. She deserved so much more for her unending support. But the flowers would at least brighten her day and make her smile, until he could come up with something more substantial.
Something he could do for her that didn't involve dragging her down into the muck of his life.
And now, regardless of how tired and distracted he was, it was time to make good on his promise to check in on Theresa. He pulled out the card on which she'd written her phone number. And was surprised by the twinge in his heart at seeing her familiar handwriting. Once upon a time, she used to write him funny notes to find in his lunchbox.
Shoving away the painful memories, he dialed. "Theresa, it's Evan."
"Evan." She sounded surprised to hear from him. "It's so nice of you to call."
"How are you doing today?" he asked politely, even though it felt like his tie was strangling him. He'd phoned because it was the right thing to do. It didn't mean he was going to start calling her Mom.
"I'm fine," she replied.
His catchphrase. He suddenly knew who he'd learned it from as memories hit him. All those times he'd rushed to his mother after his father had gone off on her. I'm fine, Evan. She'd repeated those words to him a hundred times. Don't worry, I'm fine.
"Just getting ready for work, Evan."
"Any problems yesterday?"
"No problems," she said in a low voice. And when she added, "It was lovely seeing you the other day," he thought he understood the nervousness in her tone. She was still afraid of rejection. And why wouldn't she be after what she'd done?
Still, he wanted her to know, "I'm glad you're doing okay." They were words that wouldn't get anyone's hopes up, but hopefully wouldn't do any more harm either. "I better let you finish getting ready." They'd exhausted any other conversation. At least, he had. "Is Tony there? I'd like a word with him."
"I'll get him." She called her other son's name, then said, "Evan?"
He tensed at whatever she might be about to add. "Yes?"
"Thank you for talking to me. On Sunday, I mean. And for calling today."
"You're welcome." His voice was stilted, his emotions deliberately blotted flat.
"Here's Tony."
Relief washed through him like fresh spring rain. Tony he could handle. "Just checking in, Tony. I figured you would have called if Greg showed up."
"Not a peep."
"Glad to hear it." He paused, before asking, "She didn't try to call him?"
"No. Mom made a promise, and she keeps her promises."
Right. He knew just how well she kept promises. But revealing his story to Paige had made him realize he had to at least give his mother credit for trying to protect him, while she'd been there, from his father's abuse. It was her leaving without him that he couldn't forget. Or forgive.
"But since I have to get back to San Francisco this morning..." Tony's words already had a question in them. "Could you call her again sometime? I think she'll do better if you, me, and Kelsey are all checking in with her. Letting her know we're all available if anything happens."
Evan's knee-jerk no clenched tight in the pit of his stomach. He wanted to protect himself at all costs.
But honestly, a few phone calls wouldn't hurt him. They wouldn't mean he'd forgiven Theresa. Wouldn't mean he wanted her to be his mom again. But it was the right thing to do.
"I'll call."
"Thanks, bro."
Bro. The label took him by surprise. Especially how much he liked the sound of it coming from a man who was his biological brother.
Hanging up, he held the phone on his lap a moment, staring out at the buildings flashing by along Highway 101. He had a brother and a sister. Regardless of how it had come to be, there was something amazing about that. He suddenly had the urge to call Kelsey. Just to check in and see how she was doing.
If Paige were here, she'd push him to do it. To step outside his comfort zone one more time by reaching out to his sister. Because Paige was all about connection, family, loyalty, love. Which was amazing, considering the way her sister always treated her.
But if Paige had actually been here with him, he knew what he'd be unable to stop himself from doing. And it wouldn't be making another phone call. He'd tell Mortimer to take them back to his house.
And then he'd finish what they'd started on the library couch the other night. It wouldn't end with a kiss this time. Not even close.
Mortimer pulled up in front of Sebastian's building, and Evan struggled to corral his focus. Sexy, forbidden daydreams about Paige couldn't be tolerated, especially during a business meeting with his fellow Mavericks.
The Maverick Group made their headquarters on Sebastian's twenty-ninth floor. Though each of them had their own enterprises, they came together for joint ventures, including real estate and other investment opportunities. Cal Danniger, as their business manager, handled daily operations on many of those ventures, but the five Mavericks made all the higher-level decisions as a group.
After telling Mortimer he'd walk to his own headquarters on Market Street when the meeting was done, Evan entered the lobby, passing Charlie's magnificent sculpture, Chariot Race.
Charlie Ballard was an extreme talent, her medium being metal. The sculpture of four racing
horses dragging a broken chariot dominated Sebastian's lobby. It had become a tourist attraction all on its own, with people coming to admire the work of art, especially at noon when sunlight poured through the glass ceiling into the lobby, turning the metal into a blaze of glory. It was no wonder Sebastian had fallen for her.
Damned if Evan didn't think of Paige. Again.
And damned if he couldn't avoid the truth another second.
Because when Paige had been straddling him in his library, her arms and legs around him, her mouth pressed to his--all he could do, think, feel was her.
And in that moment, he'd never wanted anyone more.
Not even his wife.
Nine years ago, he'd been blinded by Whitney's seemingly brilliant charms. But holding Paige in his arms, kissing her, tasting her--he swore he'd felt their hearts touch.
And he'd never in his life experienced any emotion so powerful, so strong, so true.
Paige was his sister-in-law. One of his best friends. Too good, too sweet, to be dragged any deeper into the vortex his life had become. She was untouchable.
But, God help him, he wanted her anyway.
Chapter Sixteen
"Welcome back," Daniel said as Evan entered the conference room and took a seat at the table.
"Glad to see your seat filled again," Sebastian said with a smile. As a media mogul and self-help guru, he was beloved to millions of people around the world. Despite that, the guy was humble. He took neither his looks nor his fortune for granted. And he thanked his lucky stars for his fiancee, Charlie.