“I’m sorry. ” Peter tried to catch his breath, but he wouldn’t look at me.
I fought the urge to pounce on him again, and I think he struggled just as badly. To avoid temptation, he turned and walked out on the balcony.
When he was gone, I grabbed onto the bed to keep from collapsing. The actual passion of the moment was fading away, but the bloodlust refused. If I didn’t eat something soon, I would go mad and slaughter something. A dark animal part of me threatened to surface, and I had to contain it.
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“Milo!” I shouted and stumbled out into the hallway. I couldn’t take care of this on my own. My stomach lurched and growled, and my body burned. “Milo!”
“What’s going on?” Milo came out of his bedroom, and I wanted to bite him. Thankfully, Bobby didn’t follow out after him, because I’m not sure that I could’ve refused him. “Oh my god! Alice!”
“I need to eat! Now!” I fell to my knees, clutching my stomach. My vision blurred even worse, and I could smell Bobby on Milo, making my mouth water. I was on the brink of blacking out, and it scared the hell out of me.
“Oh, hell! Okay! Hang on, Alice!” Milo put his arm around my waist, which really wasn’t the wisest move in the world. His throat was completely exposed to me, and I seriously contemplated tearing it out.
I closed my eyes and let him lead me downstairs, trying not to think of anything. The pain was overwhelming, and I moved stiffly, like a zombie. It seemed to take forever, but I don’t even really remember moving. The next thing I knew, I was in front of the fridge and Milo was handing me a bag, promising everything would be okay.
The blood ran cold down my throat, and that wonderful searing heat spread over me. Drinking felt good, but it wasn’t like it normally was. Instead of being real pleasure, it was more the absence of pain. I swallowed several bags in a very short amount of time, but I don’t remember much after that. Almost the instant my thirst was quenched, I passed out.
To make matters worse, I woke up in Jack’s bed to find him sitting next to me, looking at me with concern and adoration. I had just kissed his brother, and he was making sure that I was okay. Admittedly, he didn’t know that I had kissed Peter, but that made it worse somehow.
And better, too. Because if he did know, there was a very good chance that he’d never want to talk to me again, and I wasn’t sure I could handle that.
Once I assured Jack that I was okay, I insisted that I needed to take a long hot shower. He tried to kiss me, but I managed to avoid it without raising too much suspicion. He’d be able to taste Peter on me, and the whole point of this was that he didn’t find out about that.
The hot shower didn’t really fix things, although it did give me a chance to think. Why had I kissed Peter? Being so hungry had left me more vulnerable and weak, but even when I thought of it now, the way his lips felt against mine, I wanted to kiss him still. My skin flushed warm, and I turned the faucet so the water was even colder.
Of course, I could never kiss Peter again. Nobody could ever even find out about that. I loved Jack, and I do mean really and truly loved him. Whatever I felt for Peter had to be some kind of residuals from the bonding and nothing more.
It was like how bloodlust made my body want things that I didn’t actually want, like when I was crazed and wanted to drink Milo’s blood or Bobby’s. It wasn’t the same as actually liking Peter or wanting to be with him. I didn’t have any real feelings for him at all… did I? I mean, I couldn’t. Not when I loved Jack and I had done so much to free myself from Peter.
This was everything that I wanted… wasn’t it?
When I came out of the bathroom, the TV was turned on to shark show on the Discovery channel, and I don’t know if Jack was trying to be ironic or not. Sharks were known to go into frenzy when they smelled blood, and apparently, so was I.
Jack wasn’t really watching it, anyway. Standing in front of a mirror on the side of the room, he had on Dickies shorts, skater socks, and a white dress shirt with a black tie around it. He stared intently at the tie, struggling to knot it properly, but glanced back at the TV every time the music got dramatic.
“Hey, how you feeling?” Jack didn’t turn all the way around when I came out of the bathroom, but he looked at me with concern and a lopsided smile.
“Much better. ” I forced a bright smile and walked over to him.
I had put on my comfy pants and one of his tee shirts, as was my usual bedtime outfit. The sky would start to lighten soon, which meant that even though I had slept most of the night away, I would be getting tired again pretty quickly.
“You look better. Showers are the answer for everything,” he grinned, then turned back to staring at himself in the mirror.
“What are you doing?” I asked.
“Trying to tie a tie. ” His expression was in deep concentration, even though I knew he was half-listening to the TV too. He would never miss a shark attack. “Ezra usually ties them for me, and he’s getting sick of it. ”
“Any luck?”
“Never. ” He looked tiredly at his reflection. “You know, vampires are supposed to be smarter and more talented and all that stuff. Can you imagine how badly I’d tie one of these if I was still mortal?” I stifled a laugh at his lack of skills, and he looked at me hopefully. “Do you know how to tie one?”
“Nope,” I shook my head. “I never had any need to tie one, and Milo always knew how. You could hit him up. I’m sure he’d be glad to help. ”
“Maybe. But I think the point of this is that I learn how to do it myself. ” He undid the mess he made of it, preparing to start over from scratch, but the music on the TV got very loud and ominous, so he turned back to watch it.
On screen, a shark tore into some kind of carcass the camera crew had dropped in the water. The narrator was saying all kinds of things about how perfect the shark’s teeth were for eviscerating flesh and bone. “
Holy cow! Do you see that?”
“Yeah, that’s pretty intense,” I agreed.
While I hated it when they showed sharks attacking things like seals or whales (although, strangely, I never minded watching sharks bite people), I did think there was something beautiful and awe inspiring about the power and grace of sharks.
“You know, sharks are the only natural enemy vampires have,” he said, his eyes still locked on the television screen.
“Yeah, Ezra told me that,” I said. “But I don’t know if they’re really a ‘natural’ enemy. I mean, how many vampires live in the water?”
“That’s true. ” The attack footage ended, and it was just sharks swimming about the ocean, not hurting anything, but Jack kept watching it. “If you stripped away any humanity or real consciousness from us, that’s what we’d be. They’re just pure muscle and perfectly designed killing machines. Of course, they have more teeth than us, so they’re much better at it. ” The show went to commercial, and he gave me an easy smile before going to back to the business with his tie.
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“You really like sharks?” I asked, even though I knew the answer. We’d watched Jaws four times last summer, and he’d even made me watch the sequel that was supposed to be in 3-D and Jaws: The Revenge because (and I quote) “this time it’s personal. ”
“Yeah, why?”
“Let’s go to the zoo tomorrow,” I suggested. “They have sharks down in the aquarium so we don’t have to worry about the sun. It won’t be super exciting, but it’d be nice to get out of the house for awhile. ”
“Yeah, sure. That sounds good,” he smiled at me.
His smile was so wonderful, and I felt this painful tug inside of me. I walked up behind him and wrapped my arms around his chest, resting my head on his back between his shoulders blades, and hugged him. I just wanted to be close to him.
“What’s that for?” He stopped with his tie and put his arms over mine, and he sounded a little concerned. “Are you okay?”
?
??Yeah, I’m fine. I just miss you, that’s all. ” I did miss him, a lot, and I had a bit of guilt thrown on top, but he couldn’t know about that. “I feel like we haven’t spent any time together lately. ”
“We just watched an entire season of Futurama together last night,” Jack laughed, and I could hear it vibrating through his back. Delighted shivers ran through me, and I squeezed him tighter to me. He loosened my arms and turned so he could face me. “But I guess I can never really spend enough time with you. ”
He kissed me softly, and my heart swelled happily. Of course, I couldn’t completely enjoy the moment, because I couldn’t help but think about Peter’s kiss, and how different it felt. Jack must’ve felt it because he pulled away and looked at me, his blue eyes filled with worry.
“Are you sure you’re okay?”
“Yeah, I’m fine. ” I lowered my eyes. “I’m just a little shaken up from today. ”
“You’ll get the hang of it. It just takes time,” he assured me. His concern made me feel even guiltier, so I walked back away from him and sat on the bed. The distance helped some.
“How come Milo got the hang of it so quickly?” I asked.
“It just depends on the person, I guess,” Jack shrugged and turned back to the mirror. “It took me way, way longer than it took him, but I’m a slower learner, apparently. ”
Jack kept practicing his knots, and while he eventually managed something that looked semi-professional, he never got it down the way he would’ve liked. I sat on the bed, watching Shark Week and chatting with him, but the night seemed to end too quickly. I was not ready for him to go when he started yawning, but he’d insist he’d see me very soon.
Even though I’d just eaten, I made sure to eat again before I went to bed. If I was going to spend the afternoon around people, I wanted to be prepared. I was really excited about going to the zoo, so I woke up early and got ready. Jack came up to check on me just as I pulled on my shoes.
“Ready?” Jack grinned at me.
“Always. Are you sure you are?” I eyed up his outfit, which was his standard uniform. Shorts, two-toned neon Converse, and a Boba Fett tee shirt.
“What’s wrong with this?” He glanced down at his clothes.
“Nothing, except it’s the end of October, and it’s like fifty degrees and we’re going to be outside. Plus, the sun is out. ” I had chosen jeans, a long sleeve shirt, and a fashionable scarf that I had looped around my neck. Even though we enjoyed the cold, people didn’t, and we were supposed to look like people.
“I’ll be fine, and it’s not that cold,” he shrugged. “Come on. Let’s go. I wanna see the otters before it gets too dark. ”
The sun wouldn’t be out for much longer, but I couldn’t stand being in it for that long anyhow. If we were going to the zoo, there were a few animals that Jack wanted to see while we had the chance. He was telling me about how he refused to compromise on the prairie dogs as we went down the stairs, but then I saw Peter and completely tuned out.
- 21 -
It might seem pretty weird that I lived in the same house as Peter, directly across the hall, but I had managed to avoid him since we kissed. The reason for that is that I hadn’t left Jack’s room. I didn’t want to see Peter, and that was part of my logic behind the zoo trip.
Unfortunately, when we descended the steps into the living room, Peter happened to be standing right there. He wasn’t looking at us, but my initial reaction was to panic anyway.
“Something wrong?” Jack asked.
“No, I’m fine,” I shook my head and hurriedly pushed my feelings away.
Ezra hung a new giant flat screen TV on the wall, and Peter and Bobby supervised in some way. I’m not sure what was wrong with the old flat screen, although I would lean towards nothing. Peter stood a few feet back from where Ezra held the TV up, and Bobby was sprawled out on the couch, popping some of the bubble-wrap that had come with the new television. The cardboard box was on the floor by his feet, along with the “old” TV.
“What’s going on?” I asked, even though I didn’t really want to say anything. I wanted to rush out of the room before Peter had a chance to look at me or Jack, but that would seem odd.
“Ezra bought a new TV,” Bobby answered, watching as Ezra handled a TV that would be too big and too heavy for any one man to deal with alone.
“Is it straight?” Ezra held onto the bottom of it and took a step back to look at it. “It better be since I have all the wires hooked up already. ”
“Yeah, it’s straight,” Peter said, and just hearing his voice made my pulse change.
“What was wrong with the old TV?” I asked to distract myself.
“Nothing. ” Ezra stepped back further into the room so he could admire his handy work. “Jack and I just went to Best Buy this morning, and this TV is way better than the last one. ”
“You went to Best Buy?” I cocked an eyebrow at Jack. “How early did you get up?”
“Early enough,” Jack shrugged. “Ezra was going to the store and asked if I wanted to come with, and like I would pass up a trip to Best Buy?”
“I don’t see how this TV is any different than the one we had before,” Peter said, echoing my thoughts. “It isn’t even bigger, is it?”
“It’s not about being bigger!” Jack walked away from me, closer to the TV so he could explain all the merits of it. His lingo instantly got technical, which was silly since Peter probably knew less about technology than I did. Ezra and Jack were the ones who were obsessed with all things new and electric.
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“It just looks like a television to me,” Peter said when Jack finished explaining how awesome it was.
Jack scoffed loudly, and this time, even Ezra defended his purchase. At that point, they were mostly talking to themselves, and Peter looked back at me. Just briefly, and I looked away almost instantly, but his eyes still caught me. It shouldn’t even be possible for eyes to be that green, and I shouldn’t be thinking about how stunningly attractive they were.
At least he played it cool better than me. If Jack and Ezra weren’t so damn excited about their new gadget, I’m sure they would’ve noticed how frazzled I acted. When I looked away from Peter, he went over to them to pretend to be interested in it.
Bobby sat in the chair, swinging his feet over the edge, and he looked more entertained by the bubble wrap than he did the TV. Milo was missing, which was strange, because he loved this kind of thing. He should be in here gushing all over the TV too.
“Where’s Milo?” I asked Bobby, since nobody else would listen to me unless I used the words “HD” or “plasma. ”
“Helping Mae with the laundry,” Bobby said and popped another bubble.
I was tempted to steal the bubble wrap from him, but I had my chance to escape, so I took it. Jack wouldn’t be ready to go for at least another ten or fifteen minutes, and I’d rather spend that time waiting somewhere Peter wasn’t. At least Jack was too distracted to notice me slipping away.
Down the hall, between the den and the main bathroom was the laundry room, filled with two sets of super powered washers and dryers. Seven people lived in the house, and that amounted to a lot of laundry. I tried to do mine and Jack’s, but Mae somehow always got to it before I did. She was magic that way. The laundry room had several racks with hangers.
Most of Jack’s overflow clothes ended up down here, hanging on racks. His suits were in plastic bags, all neatly pressed, and they stayed down here to keep them from getting smooshed and wrinkled in our closet. The room was filled with the clean scent of clothes, but I could still smell us on them, especially Jack. No matter how many times they were washed, clothes managed to maintain some of their owner’s smell.
On one wall were the machines themselves, one set dark blue, and the other a weird orange. Apparently, the days of ordinary white machines were gone. Milo sat on one of the washing machines, watching as Mae pulled towels out
of the dryer and folded them. I’m sure he offered to help, but she refused. She thought it was her duty to do everything for us.
Milo was dressed and looked good, except he’d painted his toenails, and I blamed Bobby for that. Mae, on the other hand, still wore her pajamas, and I hadn’t seen in her in real clothes in days. Her hair was up, but it was more of a rat’s nest than a bun.
“How’s it going?” I asked, trying for casual instead of concerned. When I walked in the room, Milo gave me a wary look, and Mae barely glanced back at me.
“I’m going to have to buy new towels,” Mae said. The usual warmth of her British accent sounded stogy and commandeering, but that was better than sobbing. “You leave the towels in your room for so long they smell of mildew, and I just can’t get it out. ”
“Sorry. I’m working on it,” I said. Jack and I were the messiest ones in the house, unless Bobby turned out to be inordinately dirty.
“I didn’t say it was your fault. ” Mae was nearly snapping at me, and she folded towels in an angry huff.
I’m pretty sure Mae loves doing laundry. I’ve seen her folding and washing things, and it’s like meditation for her. That was not how she did laundry today.
“Bobby and I always make sure to take our towels down,” Milo told her, and I glared him.
“Why is Bobby doing his laundry here, anyway?” I asked, and I realized I had missed very crucial facts about him. “Doesn’t he have like an apartment or a job or something?”
“He’s in art school and lives in a dorm,” Milo answered, matching my glare.
“Of course he is. ” When I thought about it, Bobby really had art student written all over him. “So, does he ever go to school or anything? Why is here all the time?”
“He goes when he feels like it,” Milo said. “And staying here is better than staying at a dorm, and I want him here. ”
“Our house has always been open to anyone who needs it. ” Mae sounded irritated by that as she folded a towel. “Anyone that’s ever needed a place, be they vampire or not, has always had a place. You wouldn’t believe how many people have stayed with us over the years. Ezra has always had an open door policy. To anyone.
“Literally, anyone,” she went on. She put the folded towel in the basket and just leaned on it for a minute, as if she was too suddenly too weary to go on. “Except for my family. Except for what matters to me. ”
“Mae, you know that’s not what it’s about,” Milo said gently. He tried to put his hand on her shoulder, but she snapped back into motion and pulled a towel out of the dryer. “And you have us here. Don’t forget that. We’re your family, too. ”
“You know that I adore you, but…” She held a towel to her chest and trailed off.
“Have you made a decision yet?” I asked carefully. “About what you’re going to do?” As far as I knew, she still had her heart set on turning her great-granddaughter, and Ezra hadn’t changed his either.