I let it wash over me; let it soothe me as it settled into my bones, into my cells, into my very soul. In this moment of utter aloneness and freedom, I finally found the tranquility I had been so desperately seeking. It did not heal my broken heart, but it helped to salvage the pain of my savaged spirit. It was like putting aloe on sunburn, it helped to ease the sting of the pain, but the burn was still present beneath the cool balm. But it felt better, in that moment I felt better.
I breathed deeply, closing my eyes as my fingers curled into the soft ground beneath me. It was wondrous this world of different sights and smells and freedom. That was why the aliens had come to take it from us. They understood the wonder of the world that we had forgotten. They wanted what was ours, our planet, our blood; our lives. They wanted it, and they were slowly and surely wresting it from us. There had to be a way to stop them.
But that wasn’t what I wanted to think about, not here, not now. Now I simply wanted to lie upon the ground and forget about everything except for the magical world surrounding me. Wanted to forget about everything except for the calm stealing through my soul.
The forest came slowly to life around me. Creatures began to move through the woods, creeping out of their holes and dens as they searched for food. I remained unmoving for a long time, inhaling the scents, listening to the sounds, and taking solace in the healing ointment that the world had to offer. So many scents, so many sounds. Far more than I had ever noticed before, but then I had never taken the time to just enjoy the world I had been blessed with. To simply listen, and see, the beauty it had to offer. I took the time to do so now.
I knew I had to return eventually, knew I had to go back to everyone, but I didn’t want to. Not yet anyway.
For now I wanted to be alone. For now I wanted this quiet, this solitude.
I had placed myself in danger by coming out here by myself. There was safety in numbers, alone I was far more vulnerable, but I couldn’t bring myself to care about that right now. I didn’t want to die, didn’t want to get hurt again, that wasn’t what being here was about. This was about just being alive, about discovering joy where there had been none. This was about trying to find the girl that had been buried by the woman with the oddly cold eyes, and strange face.
Even if I couldn’t get her back completely, I wanted just a small piece of that girl again. I just wasn’t sure I would ever be able to find even that small piece of her again. I couldn’t have my home back, couldn’t have my mom back. I couldn’t have Cade back. But this, this I could have. I flipped onto my back, still breathing heavily as I stared at the spatter of stars sparkling through the thick canopy of trees.
I lay there for a long time, breathing in the scents, the sounds, the night. If something came now I would be vulnerable, defenseless if I couldn’t get to my guns in time. But I didn’t care. It didn’t hurt so much here, I was able to breathe a little easier. Here, there was a small sliver of serenity that I wasn’t ready to relinquish.
And somewhere in the forest I finally found a dreamless sleep.
***
“Have you discovered anything?”
Bishop lifted his head from the microscope. He appeared confused by my sudden appearance as he blinked rapidly at me. “I uh, I’m not sure.”
I frowned at him as I stepped down onto the porch. “What do you mean you’re not sure?”
He shook his head, shoving his glasses up as he took a step away from the microscope. “Maybe it’s because the blood is old.”
“I don’t understand; you need a fresh sample?”
“Yes, yes that must be it. A fresh sample will solve everything.”
“Solve everything?”
I was completely confused by what he was saying, but he didn’t seem to notice as he wandered around in search of something. He was speaking so low that it took me a moment to realize that he was talking to himself. His mutters made me frown and a spike of fear tore through me. What the hell was wrong with him? What was wrong with the blood? What was wrong with me?
“Bishop?”
He lifted a syringe into the air, the sharp needle at the end gleamed eerily in the light. His eyebrows were drawn tightly together as he looked over the needle to me. “It’s nothing to worry about Bethy, I’m sure the samples were just contaminated somehow. They have been moved around a lot, and I haven’t been able to keep them stored as properly as I would have liked. I’m sure that’s the reason for the abnormalities.”
I frowned fiercely at him, not liking his choice of words at all. “Abnormalities?” I croaked.
“It’s nothing a new sample won’t clear right up.”
“Bishop what the hell are you talking about?” I demanded.
His attention had already been diverted back to his machines; he seemed to have simply forgotten the syringe in his hand. A cold chill crept down my spine, the hair on the nape of my neck stood on end. I had been so detached lately, so cold, and unfeeling. What if there was something wrong with me? Was it somehow because of the wound I had received on the beach, on some strange germ the thing had given me perhaps? I had been deadened since Cade had died; I had blamed my detachment on his loss, but was there something wrong with me?
My heart pounded rapidly in my chest, my hands were shaking as I shoved them into the pockets of my jeans. I had to fight the urge to turn and flee, to bolt into the woods and bury myself in the solace that they offered. Not now, not during the day I told myself fiercely. But tonight I could run and run, and then maybe I could sleep for a little while again. It had been amazing to sleep the sleep of the dead for the past five nights. There had been no dreams, no nightmares to plague me within the woods.
Maybe it was the running that did it. Maybe I was just so exhausted by the time I collapsed that it was nearly impossible for me to dream. I didn’t think it was that though, I thought it was the simple pleasure of being able to do something freeing, something wild. Something that the girl I had once been would have been too afraid to do, and the strange woman I had become would never enjoy. And yet not only did I do it, I also relished in it.
And in that simple realization I found myself slowly becoming someone new. Becoming someone that was not driven by fear as the girl had been, and someone that was not driven by anger and hurt as the strange woman had been. The person that was emerging was new, uncertain to me, but I found I was beginning to like her. And I had not liked myself in a very long time. She was a combination of the girl and the hardened woman. She had some of the same strengths, and some of the same weaknesses, but she had learned and she was wiser. I was wiser.
I was developing new ways to handle things, finding new things to enjoy and take pleasure in, and new ways to take care of myself. The ice encasing me was melting; I was beginning to understand that loss was not an excuse to hide from people, and love. Not an excuse to withdraw from the world. Grief was something to endure, it was something to grow and learn from, and I was starting to realize this.
Those hours in the woods had soothed some of the ragged edges of my frayed soul and had finally allowed me to come back to life, even if only a little. But slowly, day by day, that little was beginning to grow.
But now I could feel the panic tearing at me again, shredding my insides, trying to climb out of me as Bishop placed the syringe between his teeth and hit a few keys on the computer he had set up. There was no internet, the aliens had banned it and dismantled it months before they had unleashed their unholy attack, but Bishop kept all of his notes on his laptop. I watched Bishop as he frowned, shook his head, and pulled the syringe from between his lips. He seemed to have completely forgotten that I was even here, or what the syringe was for. I understood this strange quirk about Bishop, understood people who lived mainly within their own worlds. Aiden lived within the walls of science and math; my father had also been a dreamer who had spent many hours locked away writing.
But Bishop was driving me nuts right now, and at this moment I had no patience for it.
“Bishop.??
? He continued to ignore me as his fingers flew over the keyboard. “Larry. Doctor Bishop!” He finally glanced up at me, surprise filtering slowly over his features. I shook my head in annoyance. “What is wrong with my blood?” I demanded.
“Oh yes, yes, your blood. We need a fresh sample Bethany.”
I exhaled angrily as I folded my arms over chest. “I’m on antibiotics, remember?”
“Oh yes, yes.” Disappointment flitted over his features, he dropped the syringe down. “We’ll wait until you are off the medicine.” He had already informed me of this fact two days ago, but he seemed to have forgotten. “How is your shoulder? Let me take a look.”
I sat on the edge of the table as he examined my wound closely. His fingers were gentle as he prodded me, but I couldn’t stop myself from wincing as they touched against the tender flesh of the burn. “It’s healing exceptionally well considering the amount of damage, and the means taken to close it. It’s a good thing you were so close to the hospital as you’re showing no signs of infection.”
I caught a brief glimpse of a horse head and two front hooves before he tugged my shirt back into place. As the swelling, blistering and redness had gone down the rearing horse burned into my shoulder had become more obvious. At least it was a horse and not a camel after all, I thought wryly. I shifted on the table I was sitting on, my hands wrapped around the edge of it as I leaned forward.
“Yes, I was lucky. So what is wrong with the samples?”
He glanced back at me, shoving his horn rimmed glasses further up his nose. “I told you it’s just contaminated, we’ll get it all cleared up in a few days.”
I knew he was impatient to get fresh samples from me, and now so was I. “What are you seeing in the samples you do have?”
“Cell degeneration.” I froze; my legs stopped swinging back and forth as I gazed at him in shock. “Abnormalities.”
“Excuse me?” I squeaked.
He seemed to truly see me for the first time, seemed to finally focus on my fear and uncertainty. “It’s nothing to worry about Bethany. I’d let you know if there was. The degeneration is simply because the samples are old and were improperly stored. They were more than likely contaminated.”
“Contaminated?”
“Hmm.” He was back at his computer, his head bowed as he read something on the screen. “Due to lack of room we stored the alien, and your blood, in the same fridge at the warehouse. There must have been cross contamination.”
I continued to stare at him in wide eyed horror, angered by the fact that he seemed to be taking this so lightly when I was a tumultuous mass of raw nerve endings and terror. There had been so many changes going on within me lately, so many things that I didn’t understand. Could these abnormalities in the samples be the reason why? Had that thing that grabbed me on the beach somehow done something to me?
“What if it’s not cross contamination!?” I nearly shrieked.
He looked up in surprise at my harsh tone. My terror must have been evident as he forgot about his computer to walk back toward me. “I’m sorry Bethy I’m not explaining myself well at all.”
“No, you’re not,” I agreed.
“The blood samples I took from you were ruined when the alien was stored with them. Your cells are showing a mutation.”
My throat was completely dry, my heart lumbered painfully in my chest. That cold chill was back, it crept down my spine leaving a layer of sweat behind. Bishop’s eyes grew distant once again as his eyebrows drew tightly together. I hated the fact that he seemed completely baffled by whatever he had discovered in my cells. “A mutation that resembles the cells of that thing we killed?” I croaked.
“No not like that, it’s different.” Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God! My mind screamed over and over. I was trying not to shake, trying to remain calm, but it was taking every ounce of strength I had to do so. “The alien cells must have mixed with your blood and changed it somehow while they were in the fridge, that’s the only thing that makes sense.”
“But you believe there’s something different about me? That my cells are different?”
My voice was barely more than a whisper. “No Bethany I don’t believe that. They couldn’t be anywhere near as different as what I’m seeing. There are still many human characteristics visible, but the differences are too much, and too startling. Your DNA would have been changed at a genetic level; it would have rendered you something that was neither human, nor that creature. We would have noticed the differences; it’s simply not possible that we wouldn’t. That you didn’t.”
Of course it wasn’t possible; of course I was completely human. My mother and father were entirely human; Aiden and Abby were entirely human. Yet I couldn’t shake the feeling that there was something off; that I wasn’t entirely like him, like them. Not anymore anyway. I had noticed differences, not many, and I could explain all of them away by our strange new world and new existence. Well my new eating habits were a bit strange, but even that could be explained away. I had eaten little red meat before all of this had started, but lately it seemed to be all I wanted. And I liked it rare, or at least a lot rarer than I had ever liked it before. I shuddered at the thought of the still bleeding meat, but even as disgust rolled through me, my stomach rumbled in hungry expectation. However, even that could be explained away by anemia or some other vitamin that my body was lacking due to my increased exercise and lack of a consistent, and well balanced, food supply.
My better night vision was due to my increased night activity, my hearing seemed better but I attributed that to the fact that I used the sense more now in order to survive. I was more graceful and faster because I had to be, because I had been honed into more of an athlete and had been trained to fight and move more quietly through the world. I was more aware of my body now than I ever had been, that was the only reason I noticed all of these differences in me. Even as I thought it though, I had the niggling doubt that I was wrong, that I was lying to myself.
“You haven’t noticed anything have you Bethany?”
His gaze was keen, sharper than I like. I swallowed heavily as I shook my head. “No, nothing,” I lied though he didn’t know that. “Aiden and Abby are normal?” I managed to choke out wondering if perhaps their blood was abnormal too.
“Their blood’s normal, I checked it to see if maybe there was some strange genetic flaw in the three of you.”
“Am I…” I broke off as I nearly choked on the words. “Am I somehow one of those things? When that thing grabbed me on the beach, did it somehow do something to me that changed me?”
Bishop chuckled softly as he shook his head. “Not at all, that thing did not change you I assure you. There are others here, Darnell and Lisa Blake have been grabbed by those things and lived to tell the tale. Their blood is still perfectly fine, I made sure of it. I’m telling you it was just cross contamination Bethany.”
Though he said the words, I could tell that even he wasn’t completely convinced of them. He was troubled, that much was clear, but he was trying to hide it from me. We both knew that my blood had never been like anyone here to begin with. My stomach rolled over, I was going to be sick. But not in front of Bishop. I didn’t want him to know that there were a few doubts of my own rolling rapidly through my head. But they made no sense, they couldn’t.
I had to be like everyone else. Abby and Aiden were, my parents had been, and just what the hell else could I be? If that thing hadn’t changed the others, why would it change me? I had been hit twice by one of them, but these blood samples were from before that thing had gotten a hold of me in Plymouth. There had been no fresh blood samples taken since then. There was no answer to any of my questions; Bishop had to be right about it just being cross contamination.
Then why the hell was I suddenly terrified of giving Bishop a fresh sample of my blood?
Something primal and instinctual was clamoring against my insides. I studied Bishop intently, but couldn’t come up with any reason not to give him blood when I
had given it so freely before. The antibiotics were keeping me safe, for now, but what would happen when I came off of them? What would happen if he took a fresh sample and discovered that there was something wrong with me?
Bishop touched my arm gently, looking to soothe me, but I found no comfort in his kind gesture. My hand trembled as I squeezed his hand for a brief moment. I couldn’t shake the nausea that twisted within my belly as I watched him walk away. I tried to convince myself that Bishop was right, that cross contamination was the culprit, but it wouldn’t sink in. There was something else, something savage clamoring inside of me, and begging to be heard.
I couldn’t help but feel that it was the voice of truth.
CHAPTER 11
I ran that night. I ran like I had never run before. I ran like the hounds of hell were on my heels. Ran like I could escape the clamoring terror thumping through my veins and pounding in my blood. If it was my blood anymore. I was afraid that this strange entity was inside me now, that it had somehow gotten inside and pumped and pulsed rapidly through my veins. My blood, this thing that I couldn’t escape from, this thing that was the very life of me, also felt like my enemy now.
It was inside of me, pushing me faster, driving me onward as it tore at my insides.
I wanted to shout my horror and terror to the world. Wanted to fall to my knees and scream until I couldn’t scream anymore. But that would only bring them, and if they came, they would kill me. If they came they would split me open, like they had that boy in the hospital, and poke around inside me to see if they could find what made me different too. I wondered if they would finally be able to discover what Bishop was so desperately seeking.
I stumbled, fell, but scrambled swiftly back to my feet. My knees ached from the impact, but I kept going, leaping and dodging and zigzagging around the obstacles in my way. My labored breathing was harsh in my ears, I fell again as exhaustion claimed my legs. I attempted to scramble back to my feet, but slipped in the lose leaves and plummeted back to the ground. I lay there, gasping, trying hard not to cry as my fingers dug into the earth.