I winced at his words. I had been alive for almost five months since he had slipped me his blood. More than double the amount of time than any of the others. “Why didn’t they keep them alive for longer?”
“They’re not good creatures Bethany.”
“I know that Cade, believe me I know that. Why?”
“I believe they grew bored with them.”
A single tear slid down my face, my head bowed as I gagged at his words. I knew they were right, that he was right about why they had destroyed the people so soon after they had survived the infusion of alien blood. “So there is no way to know if I will become a monster or not?”
“Bethany you will not become a monster.”
“You can’t know that!” I cried. All of those strange little differences I had noticed in me. So many of them, but the damn hunger… That was the worst. And it was only getting stronger. What was I? What had he done? “You can’t know what you created! You can’t know what I may do tomorrow or the next or the…”
He grabbed hold of my shoulders, grasping me tight. “I know you!” he said fiercely. “And no matter what changes this may bring in you, it will never change your essence. It will never change who you are.”
I wanted to believe him, but there was no way to know for sure. No way to know what I’d become. Tears filled my eyes; I bit hard on my bottom lip to keep from crying. What if I became emotionless, cold? What if I hurt someone? I couldn’t imagine drinking blood, or having someone’s soul call out to me. I couldn’t begin to fathom devouring someone’s blood and soul.
“I don’t want to hurt anyone,” I moaned.
“You won’t Bethany!” he said fervently. “You won’t. You don’t have that in you, and if it ever comes to the day where you might, I’ll take you away,” he rushed out when I opened my mouth to protest. “I will keep you safe no matter what it takes. I will take care of you no matter the consequence as long as you’ll allow me to.”
I looked sadly at him; I wanted to tell him everything I was experiencing. I found that I couldn’t. Not now. I was terrified by what was happening to me, but he didn’t need to know about it. Not yet. Maybe not ever. He felt bad enough for everything that had happened, he didn’t need this on top of it. I told myself this, but I knew the real reason was that I was too cowardly to say it out loud. If I did, it would be true, if I uttered the words allowed there would be no more denying what was going on inside of me.
“Abby and Aiden…”
“I will keep them safe also. With my life I will keep you, and everyone that you love, safe. I will not allow you to be destroyed. What I did was selfish, so incredibly selfish and I’m sorry for it, but I simply couldn’t bear the thought of living without you. Of having you die in such a way. I didn’t know what else to do to keep you safe.”
“What if I’d been one of the ones that died?” I was not angry that he had taken this chance with my life without my permission; I would have been dead if he hadn’t, or I would have been trapped, frozen in preparation of those hideous things hunting me down. That was a fate worse than death in my opinion.
Blackness momentarily filtered through his eyes again. “I don’t know what I would have done; I wouldn’t have survived being the one that destroyed you. I didn’t allow myself to think about that consequence. All I thought of, all I wanted was to save you. Please Bethany.” His hands were desperate, crushing as he pulled me against him. “Please forgive me.”
I burst into tears. I was terrified, confused, but the aching torment I heard in his voice was ripping at my insides. How could I tell him that there was something wrong with me, that he may very well have inadvertently destroyed me, when all he had wanted was to keep me alive and safe? He had sacrificed everything, everything for me. He had gone behind my back, and turned me into something different, but he had done it because he loved me. And I would have done the same. I knew that with fierce certainty as I clung to him, pulling at him with an intensity that shocked even me. I needed him. I wanted him. I would forever belong to him and be a part of him. I had been unaware of the fact that he was a part of me, engrained in my cells, bonded with me right down to my DNA.
I thought I should be mad, I wasn’t. He’d risked his life to save mine, he was willing to do anything to ensure my happiness, even step aside if I wanted him to. “There’s nothing to forgive,” I breathed against his warm neck.
“I betrayed you, I…”
“I would have done the same. To you. For you.”
“Bethany.”
The way he groaned my name caused shivers of desire to race up and down my spine. My muscles turned to Jell-O. I was putty in his hands. “That’s what Ian meant.” I said pulling slightly back as realization dawned.
Cade frowned at me; the mention of Ian caused fury to flit briefly over his features. “What he meant when?” he grated.
“When he said to me, ‘He’s inside of you. You smell and taste like him you know.’ I hadn’t understood it at the time, but he must have somehow sensed your blood inside of me. Perhaps when he drank it, or when he tried to get inside of me with that…”
“What!?” Cade snarled. I recoiled slightly, my eyes wide as black fury filled his eyes. I didn’t know if it was the fact that he was so enraged, or the fact that I now knew the truth, but for the first time his control slipped completely as lines of black zigzagged rapidly across his face and down his neck.
“It came out of him, it oozed…” I stuttered out. “It hurt like that thing did, but not…” Cade swore violently as he released me. He rose with grace and deadly speed, launching to his feet as he stormed around the forest. His hands were fisted; his arms shook with barely controlled rage. I drew my legs against my chest, suddenly frightened as the blackness began to seep down his neck. It was not him that I was afraid of, he would never hurt me, but his reaction to what Ian had done terrified me. “Cade, you’re scaring me.”
I barely recognized him as he spun toward me. It seemed as if the devil himself was seeping throughout Cade’s body, highlighting every vein as even his arms began to turn black. I imagined it ran all the way down his chest as well. Perhaps it even started at his heart and pulsed out with every fierce beat instead of originating at his eyes, like I’d first thought.
He took a step toward me and suddenly I understood where so many horror legends had been born. Vampires, succubae, demons, of course evil aliens, and probably a host of other monsters. They all had gotten their start here, in Cade’s face, in his eyes, in his heritage. Those myths had been created by people who had been terrified to see this same exact visage. Who had witnessed one of these creatures drinking from a human, who had seen the black cloud that Ian had emitted, and the blackness that engulfed Cade. The stories had been twisted; there were no vampire teeth. Succubae were not all women, and demons did not come from the depths of hell. Or at least I didn’t think they did, because I was fairly certain now that they had originated from the sky.
Cade’s face slowly returned to normal, but his eyes remained a solid black. He came back to kneel slowly before me. The white’s of his eyes became apparent again as he clasped hold of me. His hands were on my face once more, stroking, demanding as he tilted my face to his. “How long was he inside of you Bethany?”
I shook my head, biting on my bottom lip. “It seemed like forever, it hurt…” I broke off as his face flooded once more. “I don’t think it was very long,” I blurted quickly in the hopes that it would ease some of the fury radiating from him.
I didn’t dare tell him I had nearly passed out from it; he seemed on the verge of snapping once more. His eyes searched mine intently, he leaned closer to me. “I don’t think he took much.”
I shuddered, not at all liking that statement. I didn’t want to think about Ian taking anything from me. Something passed over Cade’s features, his hands tightened on me. “What if he did, how would I know? What would it do to me?”
He shook his head. “Less of a soul, perhaps a little less human.?
??
My eyes widened, my hands fisted as terror tore through me. “I’m already less human,” I blurted. “I can’t be any less than that Cade, I simply can’t!”
“I’m sure that you are fine Bethany. I would see the difference already, I would feel it. He would have wanted to draw out the torture, extend it for as long as possible. In order to do so he wouldn’t take much from you.”
“So he said,” I muttered bitterly. “He wanted to punish me, but mostly he wanted to punish you.”
Despair twisted his features. “I promise you that no one will ever touch you like that again.” I tried to find solace in his words, but I was terrified, and I was suddenly very cold. “Let’s get you out of here. You’re freezing.”
He helped me to my feet, but it was not the chilly air that was causing my shivers to increase. It was the icy chill that encompassed my bones, encompassed my soul. Even now there may be something growing inside of me, twisting me, changing me into someone that I may not know. I couldn’t even trust my own body, couldn’t trust myself anymore. I tilted me head back to look up at him, his jaw was locked, his gaze focused ahead as he led me through the forest. He was beautiful, nearly perfect, but that beauty hid something dark, something hard and cold that I had never know resided beneath that magnificent exterior. Something that warmed only to me. Abby had told me once that I was the only one Cade warmed to; I had wanted to tell her she was wrong that he was not as cold as he appeared, but I’d never lied to my sister and I hadn’t then. She’d been right, I’d known it, but I hadn’t truly gotten it until now.
The only thing human about Cade was me.
Without me he was just as harsh, brutal, and volatile as the rest of his kind. A fact that he had proven with his swift and unremorseful slaughter of Ian. The good in him was really good, but the viciousness within him was just as engrained and just as encompassing. I shuddered to think what he would become, what he would do if something ever did happen to me. It would be horrible.
“Can they be defeated?”
He shook his head, sadness crept over him. “I don’t know Bethany. The way we stand now, no. If we could find a larger group of survivors we may be able to put up a bigger fight, but I’m not sure if that’s going to happen. For now, it’s probably best if we lay low; try to survive until we find a safer place to stay. They normally don’t stay in one place too long, they tend to get bored. The other planets they’ve taken over did not possess human intelligence.” He turned to me, his eyes slowly scanning over me. “Or your fierce survival instinct. They’ve known all along humans would be their biggest fight.”
“Good,” I replied forcefully. They may be kicking our asses, but I took pride in the fact that they were also afraid of us. They’d had to decimate our population in order to cripple us as badly as they had. “What are those creatures that are hunting us Cade? Are they like you? Are they pets? What are they?”
He sighed softly, his arm wrapped around my shoulder as he pulled me closer to his side. “They were genetically engineered for another planet, one that my kind could not survive on due to the air being inhospitable for them. They were set loose to collect blood and bring back survivors in order to harvest the souls. It wasn’t until Earth, and the large population it possessed, that the victims were frozen first to keep the resistance down. An ingredient to wake the people was added to the creatures.”
“Why did they do that though? Why do they want them to reawaken?”
“Because they enjoy the suffering.”
“Of course they do,” I muttered bitterly.
“It is only extreme pain that will wake people from The Freezing, only those things. It’s why I never told you about it, why I never tried to have your mother reawakened.”
“I would have lost her either way.”
His hand tightened on my shoulder, he hugged me tighter against him. “I’m sorry Bethany, if there was something I could have done…”
“It’s ok, I know. She’s not in pain now; she never had to know that kind of pain thankfully. Was she aware of her death?” The words choked out of me, I had asked the question but I wasn’t sure I wanted the answer.
“No, they aren’t aware of what is happening to them.” Relief filled me; tears of joy filled my eyes. She hadn’t suffered, she hadn’t known. It was more solace than I’d ever hoped to find in the senseless and malicious death of my mother. “Their brain is immobilized also. I’m sure if there was a way for them to figure out how to shut everything down, and keep the brain running they would, but thankfully they haven’t conquered that bit of cruelty yet.”
I shuddered at the thought. “Thankfully.”
“It is a new technology, one that they haven’t mastered yet, but they wanted to make sure that their creatures, or pets if you will, were at the very least able to reawaken the humans and they wanted to make sure they suffered in the awakening. They also had to make sure that the humans that were awakened again were kept immobile until they could be brought to a holding area.”
“And that pain definitely keeps someone immobile.”
His hand tightened on my arm. “I wish I could take that from you.”
I shook my head, brushing back a loose strand of hair. “I’m glad I know, I suppose.” I wished that I could forget, but it was something I was stuck with, and I was glad I knew what those other people were going through. “You knew that when you hurt Peter though.”
“I didn’t burn Peter; he wasn’t a bad old man I wouldn’t hurt him for no reason.”
“But I smelled hair…”
“I heal fast.” I gaped up at him. He hadn’t hurt Peter after all, even if it had been only to make us realize that normal pain wasn’t enough to help them. Maybe there was a little more human in him than I had thought.
“Those things don’t drain the soul?”
“No. That’s only us.”
“Have they always been able to mimic a human being?”
I didn’t like the dark look that crossed his face, nor the tight set of his clenched jaws. “That is a new talent,” he said slowly. “One that I didn’t even know about, but the leaders don’t share all of their secrets, especially not with the ones of us that have been put on Earth.”
“Why not?”
He shrugged absently. “We’re not privy to the inner circle, not once we’re placed here. Our main duties are to infiltrate and report our findings. The politics that play out amongst the leaders have little impact on our lives. I was only told when the invasion was going to happen a month before graduation.”
“I see.” I frowned as I thought over his words. “If this hadn’t happened, you never would have come for me would you have? You would have let me stay with Bret.”
His hand tightened on me, he was silent for a long moment. “I hated you with him, I truly did, but yes I would have left you alone to live your own life. If I thought they would have allowed me to be with you, to marry you, I would have come for you in a heartbeat but though we do not have children with them we are only allowed to marry influential and powerful people, if we marry people at all. I was to marry one of my kind, she was adopted by couple who possessed old money and lots of power. It was a match that was made as soon as I was placed with the Marshall’s, we were going to meet at college and marry after graduation. I’ve never met her.”
Pain flashed through me, I could only gape at him. He was so cold, so analytical about marrying a girl he’d never even known. And he would have, I was certain of it. “If I’d ever hinted that I wanted to marry you, wanted to be with you, they would have killed you. If I’d tried to deny the arrangement they would have killed me.”
“You would have married her.”
“And I would have known where you were every moment of it. When they decided to invade I still would have come for you. I would have taken you, Bret, your children…”
“Cade...”
“And I would have saved you all if it made you happy Bethany. It would have destroyed me to let another
man have you but I never would have put your life in danger.”
“You could have come to me, you could have explained,” I breathed. “I would have listened to you, I would have believed you; I would have run away with you.”
“And left your family behind?” I opened my mouth to say yes, but the word froze in my throat. “They had already known the loss of your father; would you have left them still?”
“I would have loved you.”
His head tilted, a single strand of midnight hair fell into the corner of his eye. “I know you would have and it would have gotten you nothing but a life of secrets, pain, and misery. It may have even cost you your life. I wasn’t going to let that happen, no matter how badly I wanted it to.”
My heart swelled with love for him, tears slid silently down my face. “What do you take your souls from?”
“Animals mostly, but when it’s been absolutely necessary I have taken from a person without their knowledge. Not you,” he reminded me forcefully when I looked at him in shock. “I never take too much either. But sometimes the craving is too strong for just an animal to help me. It’s rare that happens though, maybe twice a year, sometimes three. It’s the blood we need more than the soul. That’s at least once a week, preferably more. And since all of this has started my hunger has been even more intense, more demanding.”
It was disconcerting, but not awful I decided. His gaze came slowly down to me. The ice in his eyes thawed, affection lit the darkness. “It’s harder when I’m around, isn’t it?”
“Not so much harder.” His voice was tight, hoarse. “I just want you more than I’ve ever wanted anything.” I gazed in wide eyed wonder up at him, frightened and yet enthralled by his words. “Nothing will satisfy me the way that I know you would.”
My mouth parted, my heart hammered with excitement and desire as my toes curled. What did that say about me? What normal person would actually want for someone to feed off of their soul, off of their blood? I didn’t want to think too much on it, I was disconcerted by the implications of my intense need for him to touch me in such a way. “You could…”