Page 19
Author: Bella Andre
He followed her into her office, and as soon as the door closed behind him with a soft click, she said, “I know we have business to take care of this morning, but before we do, I want you to know that I’ve made a decision about us. ”
It had made so much sense in the middle of the night when she’d been going over and over things in her head. There was no question that they’d come to a crossroads at the wedding. The only question had been which way to turn. Last night, she’d been certain that she’d figured out the best way to deal with their ongoing attraction without making the mistake of letting herself get in too deep again.
“I think we should sleep together. ”
“I haven’t gotten much rest since Friday,” Ford said, “so I’m pretty sure I just hallucinated you saying that we should sleep together. ”
For all the sense that her decision had made in the middle of the night, now that he was standing here in front of her, she had to silently remind herself why she was doing this. Fighting their attraction was going to be impossible. Not only that, but for a sensual woman like her, it was downright unnatural not to want the pleasure that she knew Ford could give her.
Having a sex-only affair was the only thing that made sense.
“I can’t see any reason why we shouldn’t have some fun, casual sex when you’re in town and I’m free for a night or two. ”
“How many reasons do you want?” Ford asked. “Because I’m pretty sure I could fill up your entire work day with them. ”
Damn it, why couldn’t he behave like any other guy would and just jump at the sex? “Hold on a minute,” she said, letting her anger match his. “You’ve angled and strategized for a kiss every time we’ve been together, but now that I’m offering a heck of a lot more than a kiss, you’re saying no, you don’t want to have sex with me. ”
“Of course I want to have sex with you, Mia. And if I thought I could get to your heart that way, you’d better believe you would be naked and coming beneath me right now. ” Every inch of her skin went hot and damp at the crazy-hot picture he’d just painted, even as he growled, “How many times do I have to tell you I want more from you than your body?”
“So unless I’m ready to declare my love to you and promise you forever, you aren’t going to touch me again?” she growled back instead of answering his question. “Is that what you’re trying to tell me?”
“No,” he said as he reached out to drag her against him, “that’s not even close to what I’m trying to tell you. ”
By less than a heartbeat, his mouth beat hers to the kiss that she’d been aching for since the wedding. At the winery in Napa his kisses had been gentle, almost reverent, as he’d roamed her skin. But nothing was soft about the way they devoured each other now, her teeth making hard nips against his lower lip, his tongue tangling with hers in a rough dance of pure lust. His hands covering every inch of her that he could reach, from breasts to hips, hers tightly gripping the dark strands of his hair to keep his mouth right where she wanted it.
Moans, gasps, pleasure, pain—Mia relished every single second of feeling again. Even though, as both of them continued to drag each other deeper into burning heat and desperate need, somewhere way back in her brain, a warning flag was waving, trying to tell her that this was a bad idea.
Oh yes, she knew that what they were doing was a terrible idea, knew that she shouldn’t be giving this much to Ford, shouldn’t be giving him any part of her at all when he’d hurt her so badly once before. But right now, knowing better was taking a distant backseat to the sinful pleasure of arching into his large hands as they cupped her breasts through her silk shirt.
The shrill ringing of her assistant’s phone only one wall away hit her like an ice-cold bucket of water.
It wasn’t just a bad idea to be kissing Ford because he had the power to hurt her in a way no one else did—but also because they were in her office and her employees were going to start coming through the front door any second now.
Was she trying to get caught with him?
Her heart was scrambling as she let him go and stood on her own, on legs that threatened to tremble like a bowl of Jell-O.
“We’ve built up sleeping together again to be too big, too important. As far as I’m concerned, the best thing we can do is get this out of our systems so that we can both move on with our lives. ”
“Once I have you again, Mia, I won’t ever get you out of my system. And I won’t give you up. Not to some other guy you meet jogging or on a plane, who doesn’t deserve you. ”
Desperately fighting against the part of her that wanted to belong to Ford and believe that it was possible to have a forever with him, she said, “You say you want more than my body, but then you talk about me like I’m some toy you can be jealous and possessive over. ”
“Damn it, you’re right. ” She watched him run a harsh hand through his dark hair as he paced her office like a lion trapped in a cage. “I’m saying everything wrong. Doing every goddamned thing wrong. ”
Was it crazy that a part of her wanted to go to him, to comfort him?
Yes, this Ford-inspired crazy was precisely why she’d suggested a casual, sex-only relationship. Because that way they could focus on their bodies and pleasure. . . and things like comfort and support—and emotions that could be stripped raw and utterly destroyed—wouldn’t be on the table at all.
* * *
“Five years ago, even though I was an immature punk who didn’t know which way was up, I was smart enough to love you. How could I not?” Ford paused to make sure he didn’t say it all wrong again. “But after we split up, I spent way too long pretending I could be a man on an island again. That I wasn’t thinking of you every second we were apart. ”
“Ford—”
“Let me try to get at least one thing right. ” He moved back across her office to reach for her hands. “After seeing the way Nicola and Marcus are with each other, I think I finally figured something out. Something big that we skipped in our week together. Something between sex and love that holds everything together. ” He looked down at where their fingers had naturally threaded together, then back up into her beautiful eyes. “Every second since I saw you again, I’ve been consumed with wanting you. But sex isn’t enough, Mia. It wasn’t enough the first time around, and it won’t be this time, either. ”
“But what—”
“Friends. ” He knew the truth of it in his bones and could see from the look on her face that it was resonating with her, too. “I need to be your friend this time. And I hope you’ll eventually be able to trust me enough to be mine, too. ”
He’d written more than a dozen love songs, but he’d never truly understood until he’d fallen in love with Mia just how complicated it really was. Or how incredible is was that somehow, if two people with their own dreams and damage, hopes and fears, worked really hard and were really lucky, they might actually make it work.
At the same time, over and over during the past thirty-six hours, he’d reminded himself that complicated didn’t have to mean impossible. Look at Ryan Sullivan and his fiancée, Vicki, who had made things work after fifteen years apart. And, of course, there was Marcus and Nicola, who hadn’t let his winery or her music career tear them apart.
“I told you this weekend that I forgave you, Ford, and I meant it, but—”
Before she could say anything else, both of them heard two voices carry down to her office.
Still, instead of immediately dropping his hands, he felt the lightest brush of her thumbs over his knuckles before she let him go and walked over to her desk to sit down behind her computer. It gave him hope that she wasn’t unaffected by what he’d just said about wanting to be her friend. The best one she’d ever have.
“Over the weekend,” she told him as she slipped on thick, black-framed glasses that only served to highlight her beauty, “there was a great deal of interest in the
tower house. Since I’m not at all surprised by this, and I know that Alana and her ex-husband would like to close things as quickly as possible, we should finalize the details of your offer so that we can send them over this morning. ” She pressed a button on her phone. “Good morning, Orlando. I’d like to introduce you to my new client. And please bring the paperwork for the tower house with you. ”
Though her manner was all business, he could still see the heat and desire—along with her lingering surprise over the idea of the two of them working on their friendship before hopping back into bed with each other—simmering just beneath the surface.
“My employees are used to dealing with famous and wealthy clients. But just like the guests at Marcus and Nicola’s wedding, I suspect they still might be a little bowled over by you. ”
“I’m always happy to meet fans. They’re the reason I’m where I am. ”
“No,” he was surprised to hear her say in a fervent voice, “your talent is the reason you’re where you are. Like I said,” she added with a small smile, “even those of us who couldn’t stand you still liked your songs. ”
Orlando came through the glass door carrying a large folder. “Here are the files you need, Mia. I’ve flagged the various—” When he realized Ford was standing next to him, the folder fell from his hands, scattering papers all around his shoes. “Oh my God, you’re Ford Vincent. I’m your biggest fan. You’re a genius. I can’t believe you’re actually standing here in front of me. ”
Ford took the young man’s hand to shake it. “It’s great to meet you, Orlando. ”
Mia gently put her hand on her assistant’s shoulder. “Thank you for bringing the papers in. ”
Orlando turned, dazed. “Papers?” A few seconds later, his pale skin turned a dark shade of red. “The papers. I’m so sorry. ” He was already on his knees trying to pick them up, but his hands were shaking too hard to do anything but make more of a mess.
“Actually, Orlando, I think we can take it from here,” Mia interrupted. “But I’m sure Mr. Vincent would love a cup of coffee, black with extra sugar, thank you. ”
Loving the fact that she still remembered how he liked his coffee, Ford knelt down with Mia to help pick up the papers.
“In the year he’s been working with me, I’ve never seen him like that. ” Mia looked bemused by her assistant’s reaction. “Do you ever get tired of it?”
He barely restrained himself from reaching out and tucking a loose strand of hair behind her ear, knowing every one of her employees was surely watching them now through the glass. “When you’re a kid dreaming, you don’t know enough to think about anything but the glory. If I had understood more than that five years ago, Mia, maybe I wouldn’t have screwed things up so badly. ”
Her gaze locked with his for a moment before she abruptly shook her head. “I know our earlier conversation was interrupted, but let’s stay focused on the house for now, okay?” She quickly gathered up the rest of the paperwork, then went back to her desk to reorganize it. “I wish I could tell you it was overpriced, but—”
“Could you live in it?”
“You already asked me what I thought of the house, and if you recall, I said it’s one of my favorites in Seattle. ”
“I know you think it would be great for kids and a family. But what about for you?”
“You’re the one buying it, Ford, not me. ”
She was stubborn, but so was he. And he wouldn’t buy a house that she didn’t love just as much as he did. Some might call him crazy for putting so much on the line for a woman.
But Ford now knew it would be crazier not to.