"Never," he rasped. "Never that. He's earned his rest. He's earned far more than I gave him at this bitter end. I left him half-dead with threats lurking all around."
"Then let me help. I can make it painless. He'll just go to sleep."
"We'll be within striking distance of the castle tomorrow. You can't spare an ounce of your power if you're still bent on the same plan."
"I am."
"Then I will end this." Aric placed the tip of one sword against the steed's chest. To Thanatos, he whispered, "Good-bye, my old friend. Rest well." Aric plunged the sword.
The horse shrieked, and I could have sworn Thanatos looked . . . betrayed. Was he wondering why his golden-haired knight would forsake him? After all his unending service?
Thanatos's red eyes flickered. Once. Twice.
They closed forever.
Aric's stoic facade never faltered, but I could sense his utter agony. He must be drowning in guilt and grief.
I put my hand on his armored shoulder. "I'm so sorry."
He inclined his head, couldn't seem to find words.
Jack said, "I'll help you bury him. Evie, it's too cold for you out here."
"I'll be fine."
"We doan know if more Baggers will smell the blood."
Aric absently said, "It isn't safe."
Jack squired me back to the truck, then helped me into the cab. Under his breath, he said, "Let him grieve without having to be in protection mode." He was right.
"Okay. I will."
Jack closed the door behind him. After fetching a shovel from the nearly-full truck bed, he secured a burial spot.
From their body language, I could tell Aric insisted on digging the grave, no doubt wanting to punish himself.
As he buried his horse, Jack stowed the tackle, armor, and saddlebags among the many boxes he'd loaded up from the cave. Joining me inside the truck, he pulled his flask from his coat. At the rim, he said, "Thought I'd give the Reaper some space too."
I nodded. "He shared a bond with Thanatos for longer than I've been alive. On his card, Death is astride a stallion. Now he's a knight with no steed." Death was incomplete. "Aric loved that horse, yet he ran him into the ground and didn't even spare a sword strike to euthanize him."
"Which means the Reaper was out of his head to reach you." Another swig. "Damn him."
"Damn him," I echoed.
"So much harder to hate him."
"Welcome to my world."
"What are we goan to do with him?"
"Hell if I know. But I don't want to hurt him anymore." I deeply regretted flying off the handle in the cave. "He must have already been crumbling inside because of what he did to me, and then I piled it on last night. Now this."
"It's not your fault. You've been through a lot. You're doing the best you can in a shit situation."
"It's worse than you think. Jack, when Aric's powers first manifested, he accidentally killed innocent people--including his parents. His mom was pregnant at the time."
Jack swore low.
"For him to have come so close to ending me and Tee . . ." I trailed off when Aric turned toward us, trudging back.
His eyes were dim and glinting, his shoulders heavy.
Jack muttered, "Never thought I'd say this, but il tombe en botte. The Reaper is falling to ruin."
When Aric rejoined us, he had a frozen track down his cheek. A tear.
Oh, Aric. The pain I felt convinced me that I was still as deeply in love with him as I'd ever been.
Did that mean I was right back where I'd started with both of them? Without thought, I placed my hand on his cheek and gave him a sympathetic expression.
In a pained tone, he rasped, "A touch and a soft look. I am felled."
Jack tensed beside me, breaking the spell.
47
Day 586 A.F.
I couldn't believe I'd agreed to come to this place.
As the truck meandered up the snowy drive to the cabin where Aric and I had first had sex, emotions churned inside me.
Yes, it was strategically located with a generator, a small kitchen, and running water. We would be able to grab a shower and cook some of the food we'd transported from the cave. For the first time in months, I'd have a real bed to sleep in.
But the cabin also held way too many memories.
When Aric had first suggested it, I'd said, "It's less than a day's drive from the castle. How close will the sphere be?"
"Some distance away. And that haze might even have contracted with my absence." Over the long drive, Aric had seemed to bury his grief over Thanatos, at one point saying, You live. That's what matters. But he was still running on empty.
"Or not. Aric, the risk . . ."
"Sieva, I will never be taken by it again."
He and Jack had both looked exhausted, so I'd acquiesced, even while wondering if I could handle what this place meant to me.
Aric parked in front. The cabin was built into the side of a mountain with a nearby stable. The last time I'd ridden here, Thanatos had been inside.
The enormous satellite dish came into view, illuminated by the continual lightning overhead. Were pieces of my clothing still littered around the base?
"Look at that dish!" Jack exclaimed. "Does it work?"
"Alas, it does not." Catching my gaze, Aric murmured, "A hailstorm damaged it beyond repair."
My cheeks heated. His face was flushed as well. So we were both replaying the details of that night?
Tee had probably been conceived here. Had Aric put that together? When his attention dipped to my belly, I had my answer.
Jack climbed out, bow at the ready. As he helped me down, I couldn't meet his gaze. Coming here had been a mistake.
Outside of the cabin, I was about to voice more opposition, but Aric said, "It's safe here. It's comfortable. Battle comes tomorrow, and this is a strategic point of departure. Allow me to enter first and ensure that no one--or thing--has taken up residence."
My wide-eyed look told him: Ensure it doesn't look like a love nest.
A couple of minutes later, Aric gestured from the door, and Jack and I followed him inside. I peeked into the back room. Aric had used his supernatural speed to make the bed and straighten up. He could have flaunted what had gone on here, but he was being a gentleman about it.
If the cave had reminded me of my rage toward Aric, this place reminded me of promises. I vividly recalled the way it had felt to stroke the blond stubble on his defined jaw. The way his lips had covered mine, demanding everything from me. The way he'd tried to explain his feelings--clumsily, because he'd had no experience with things like that.
As he tossed wood into the fireplace, Jack explored the radio equipment on the desk. "How'd you find this place, Reaper?"
"I commissioned the dish and the cabin to be constructed before the Flash." In moments, he had a fire going. "I suspected communications would fall with the beginning of the game."
"So you had an alternate site of your own."
"Yet I foolishly didn't provision it."
Jack thumped the copper covering the walls, then turned to inspect the maps of constellations. "How much did something like that dish cost? Millions?" When Aric didn't deny it, Jack said, "So you were a multimillionaire?"
Shrug.
Perceptive Jack narrowed his eyes. "Billionaire, then?"
"For all the good it's doing me now."
"Jesus. Can't even wrap my head around that much money."
Aric leaned his armored shoulder against the wall. "I would have given up every penny not to be immortal."
Jack's smile was bitter. "You can say that 'cause you've never been poor."
"And you can say that because you've never lived forever."
With a contemplative look, Jack gave a nod, and something seemed to pass between them.
As different as the two men were, they had more than me in common. They shared a rapport that they likely both hated. But it was there, all the same.
God,
I loved them both.
Jack turned from the desk. "I'm goan to grab some food for us."
Once the door closed behind him, I said, "Aric, I don't like this. Coming here feels underhanded. I hate keeping secrets from Jack."
"I don't like it either. But this made sense."
"Still, I--oh!" My eyes went wide. I felt that fluttering inside, stronger than ever. Relief swamped me, and my eyes pricked with tears. Decided to stick around, kid?
"What is it?" Aric hurried beside me.
I peered up at him. "Tee's kicking. I worried he'd been lost. That was part of the reason I freaked out so bad in the cave."
"May I?" He tugged off his gauntlet.
I nodded before I'd thought better of it. Aric swallowed with nervousness, then placed his shaking hand on my belly. His amber eyes turned starry with emotion. "I feel him, sieva!" he said in wonder. "I can feel our son. He's strong."
As I stared at Aric's noble face, my glyphs shivered over me, glowing brighter and brighter. That old feeling of unity between us bloomed. I'd missed this so much. I'd missed the life we'd made together. "Strong like his father."
Jack stood in the doorway, a box of supplies in his hands. His troubled gaze took in the scene.
I drew back with guilt. "Tee kicked. Hard." After all those nights Jack had patiently waited to feel that . . .
Where's your head at, Evie?
"Good, good." Before Jack schooled his expression, I saw his disappointment. He wordlessly began unloading food in the small kitchenette.
I hurried to join his side. "Let me help you."
He shook off some of his unease, even managing a smile for me. "You sure? Two cooks, and all that?"
"Over the last few weeks, I've become really proficient at cooking pasta."
In a dry tone, he said, "No, bebe, you really haven't."
I slapped his chest. "Dick."
Aric avidly watched this interplay, then excused himself. While Jack and I prepared the meal, he changed from his armor to clothes he'd had in his saddlebags. Customary gloves, of course.
In front of the crackling fire, we three ate in silence. As soon as the warm food hit my stomach, exhaustion set in again. Nagging doubts about tomorrow surfaced. Would I be strong enough to do what needed to be done?
Aric studied my face, reading me so easily. "You should rest a couple of days before this battle. Discretion is the better part of valor."
"I'll be on edge until Paul's dead." I rubbed my nape. "And we're closer to the sphere than I'd like to be. I bet you can see it from atop the satellite dish."
"You would be able to, yes. But we've dozens of miles between us and it."
Jack asked me, "You got a plan for tomorrow?"
"Sure. Smash and grab."
Aric pinched the bridge of his nose.
"I'm kidding." Not at all. "Tell us the lay of the land, Aric. What do I need to know?"
"Lark normally sleeps during what passes for day, so an early incursion would be advisable. As soon as you cross the boundary, the Archangel will likely trail you in. If we are lucky, he'll escort you to Paul, instead of exacting his own revenge for past games."
Jack shook his head. "Too big a risk."
"Sieva, if Jack accompanied you with his rifle--"
"He stays. I can't watch him die again. And I can't watch him put a bullet in our friends to protect me." I asked Jack, "Would you shoot Lark if I was in trouble?"
He exhaled, but said, "Sans doute." Without a doubt.
"Then I go alone. Once I'm inside, I'll knock everyone out with spores, then strangle Paul with the noose while he's asleep." I sounded confident, though spores could be tricky.
Aric said, "Over the last year, you've asked things of me that I didn't feel capable of. Taking off your cilice. Trusting you not to strike against me. Letting you go. But now you're asking me to endorse your plan to challenge a trio of Arcana--when you're more than four months pregnant with our son. And no matter what happens at the castle, I will not be able to assist you."
"I know it's a big ask. But you'll just have to trust me." Softening my tone, I pointed out, "You didn't trust me about Paul, and look what happened."
"If you tell me you feel one hundred percent confident that you can prevail tomorrow, then I will believe you."
"I feel one hundred percent confident that we have no choice. If you come up with a better plan, I'll listen. But otherwise, my mind is made up . . . ."
After dinner, Jack started gearing up for the cold. "Goan to check out that sphere." He seemed as uncomfortable around it as I was.
"If I fall asleep, will you make sure it doesn't sneak too close tonight?"
He grabbed his bow. "On it. In the meantime, maybe the Reaper can talk some sense into you." They shared a look before Jack left.
I rose and went to the window. As I watched him head out into the wintry landscape, I thought of the little bug-out bag Jack had painstakingly put together for Tee. Damn it, he should've been the first to feel a kick. Instead, he'd witnessed a moment between me and Aric.
In the letter Jack had left for me before the massacre, he'd written: You and Death have something that I don't understand, and I've got to start trying to get over you. To pull your thorn from my skin.
Seeing hints of the shaky tie between me and Aric emerging again must be killing him.
He probably sensed my gaze, but he didn't glance back. Was Jack even now trying to pull my thorn from his skin?
Did it pain him? Was he bleeding inside? He didn't understand; we could be separated, but I'd never release my hold on him. Only fair, since I would never get over him.
Like me, Jack Deveaux would bleed for life.
"How are you feeling?" Aric asked hesitantly. He must be recalling how badly our conversation had gone in the cave.
I turned to him, not yet ready to be alone with him. That earlier moment between us had slipped up on me so totally, but now I was on edge. "I'm okay, I guess."
"You don't have to do this tomorrow."
"Agree to disagree." I didn't want to hurt him anymore, but I couldn't just magically forget all I'd been through. It would take time. "I probably need to rest." I grabbed my bag and headed to the back room.
At the doorway, he said, "I would like to watch over you as you sleep."
The idea sent my emotions spiraling. Memories of his attack were too fresh. "Aric, I'm not ready for that. It's too soon." I'd had nightmares of him for months.
The blond tips of his eyelashes glowed in the firelight as he said, "Are you afraid of me?"
I wanted to protect his feelings, but I also needed to be honest with him. Honesty won out. "This close to the sphere? Yes." Maybe I did have PTSD. "Besides, I warned you about the witch."
"Though she isn't partial to me, apparently she's been looking out for our son. If need be tomorrow, let her do so once more."
"And if she doesn't stop at Paul?"
"You won't harm Lark or Gabriel on a whim."
I wished I could be so certain. "Aric, I can't predict what will happen with me. She truly might harm you."
"A bridge to cross another time." Aric's way of saying kick the can down the road. He opened his mouth to say more, closed it, then tried again. "Over these months, I've made so many mistakes. I should have done a score of things differently. But you know I can learn from my mistakes--if given the chance. You know it can be good between us again, love." He was making it sound like we could pick up right where we'd left off. How could we ever find our way back there? "Even when under the Hanged Man's control, I longed for you. I missed my wife." He took a step closer.
I took one back. "Should I forget everything that's happened and resume life with you at the castle? Should we send Jack back out into the Ash? Could you doom him after he saved me and Tee?"
He exhaled. "I have no solution for this situation. Not one we can all live with."
Neither did I. "Aric, will you please give me some breathing room? I need to think."
His
eyes went dark and dim once more. "I will go. To make you more comfortable, I won't return without the mortal."
"Take your time."
Before closing the door, he stopped and said, "I do not want you to go to the castle alone."
I rubbed my temples. "This is my lot." I now had one mission: destroy Paul. If I won the day, I would reevaluate everything else then. "I've accepted it."
He held my gaze as he said, "Our son is strong. Like his mother."
Oh, Aric. He left me, the door clicking shut behind him.
I released a pent-up breath, wondering when--or if--I'd feel comfortable with him again. Was it PTSD making me so antsy? Or the sphere? Pregnancy?
My vote: all of the above.
What was I going to do about him? Them?
Mulling this conundrum, I used some of the cabin's water stores to shower and get ready for bed. I climbed under the covers, sighing at the softness of the mattress and expensive sheets. Compared to the pallet I'd been sleeping on, this bed should've been heavenly, but it was missing Jack.
I was missing him.
And Death. When I detected Aric's addictive scent on the pillow--sandalwood and pine--memories of our fateful night here overwhelmed me, until I felt like I was cheating on Jack.
I adored his raw passion, yet I craved Aric's seething intensity. One love fated. One love endless. Since perfect for me couldn't be bested, how could I live without either?
Jack, the love of my life, had told me, "Peekon, it'll always be Evie and Jack."
Aric, my soul mate, had told me, "We are forever."
Whom to believe?
I'd come full circle, was right back to that night at Fort Arcana when I'd struggled to decide between them. As I'd done then, I imagined my life as a road. On one side was Jack, on the other Aric.
Even after everything that had happened, I'd covered only a few measly miles.
One thing I knew about tomorrow? Nothing would ever be the same.
48
The Hunter
"Where's Evie?" I asked when Death joined me atop the satellite dish. I'd been sipping a bottle of whiskey I'd snagged in Jubilee. From this height, I could see the sphere in the distance.
A constant reminder of the stakes.
"She wanted some time to herself. I'll know if any threats approach."
I already had my eye on the sole cabin door. I handed him the bottle. "Must be nice for her to have a real bed again." I wasn't stupid, me. Knew those two had probably been together in it. Jealousy prickled.