"You okay?"
Galene nodded. "Just admiring your handsomeness."
"Careful, I might begin to think you like me."
"Ah now, we can't have any of that," she teased.
Fain fell silent as memories rose up to choke him so fiercely that it was hard for him to swallow his food. Gods, how he'd missed this female. Being with her now made it so much worse. It just brought home with a stinging clarity how much of his life he'd screwed up.
She licked at her fingers while she ran over reports. "By the way, are you aware of how much Vega adores you?"
"Excuse me?"
Glancing up, she typed and did three other things, all the while carrying on a conversation with him. Damn, he'd forgotten how well she multitasked. "She told me about how you saved them. That you defied Venik's orders so that you could keep them here as your family, even when he threatened to kill you if you didn't get rid of them."
Without conscious thought, Fain reached up to touch the old scar that ran through his parietal lobe where they'd embedded the chip that could one day end his life.
Or render him a vegetable.
Venik had been hotter than the core of a sun when Fain had returned from that mission, hauling two human kids with the cargo he'd been sent after.
"What the hell are you thinking, Slag-wart?" Venik had grabbed him by his neck and shoved him back into the wall. "We're not running a nursery. We've got enough orphans from good Tavali who've fallen. We don't take in strays."
Fain had ground his teeth to keep from speaking. In that mood, Ven wasn't about to hear anything, anyway. But being a slave himself, Fain had refused to be part of a system that ruined another set of lives. "I'll pay for their room and board."
"With what? I already own you."
"I can make extra runs."
A cruel smirk twisted his lips. "You really want to keep them? You can pull time in the arena." He slapped Fain's cheek twice. "How 'bout that? You still want them now?"
Fain would always give Venik credit. He knew how to hit the rawest nerve to wring the most pain from anyone. "Yeah. I still want to keep them."
Ven had pushed him back. "Fine. You can report for duty tonight. I'll make sure they add you to the menu."
Sick to his stomach, Fain had headed back to where the kids were waiting on board his ship. Only ten, Stellavega Jaswinder had barely come up to his knee. But that look of vulnerable courage as she held onto her brother's hand and comforted him had reminded him so much of Galene that he'd been lost to it. Smiling, he'd held his hand out to her. "It's all good. I'm going to take you to a place where there are other boys and girls, and a nice lady who watches over you. If you have any problems, you can always call me and I'll take care of it and you."
That was one of the few promises in his life he'd been able to keep. And he was grateful to the gods for it.
Sighing, he shrugged as he met Galene's curious stare. "They're good kids. And I knew Ven wasn't going to kill me. He might make me wish he had, but he's got too much vested in me as a pilot and Tavali to end me for anything other than personal betrayal."
"Are you sure about that?"
"Yeah ... I've pushed him enough to know it conclusively."
Galene didn't speak again until The Tavali in the comm center left and they were alone. Then, she pinned him with a stare that made him instantly uncomfortable. "Did you really get a vasectomy?"
"What made you go there?"
"It's been on my mind since you mentioned it."
"Why?"
"Just wondering. It's not something an Andarion does lightly."
Since it was against every organized religion on their planet and their entire cultural teachings, yeah. Andarions were taught to protect and expand their bloodlines with as many children as possible. "I know."
"So why did you?"
He shrugged. "Omira didn't want a hybrid baby. She was afraid of what it might do to her to carry it. I didn't care enough to argue. Given how the humans and Andarions treat mixed heritage children, I figured it would be for the best, anyway. Kid would have a hard enough time without a mother who couldn't stand it, on top of everyone else."
"If you felt like that, why did you marry her?"
"I was alone, Stormy. Cast out of my race and family. She was in a bad situation at home, and she was desperate to get away from her abusive father. While I knew I didn't love her, I knew I'd never hurt her. In the beginning, she was nice to me so it was easy to pretend that it wasn't so bad."
"Then what happened?"
He held his hand up. "While I was at work, she found a photograph of you where I had it hidden and realized it was your ring she had. By the time I came home, she was all kinds of insane and gunning for my ass. Since it was inscribed in Andarion, she got it translated and came for my testicles. She confessed that she didn't love me either, that she'd only used me to get away from her father."
"Oh, Fain ... I'm so sorry."
He sighed. "That wasn't the worst. She told me that she was pregnant and threw me out of the house. Sadly, I didn't believe it. I thought she was lying to hurt me. Three days later, I came home to get a few things and found her in bed with her old boyfriend ... and I saw the test that confirmed her pregnancy. I knew then that she'd been cheating on me for a while."
Rising to her feet, she pulled his head against her stomach and held him close. "I hate that you went through that. You didn't deserve it."
"For leaving you, I did, especially the way I did it. I should never have allowed Merrell and Chrisen to threaten me and drive me from you."
"You were just a kid. Really. What could you have done?"
"I don't know.... But I think it's why I'm so suicidal with Ven. Having given up my life to them, I don't give a shit what Ven does to me now."
She pulled back to stare down at him. "You should. I care." And with that she gave him a kiss so sweet that it left him reeling.
Closing his eyes, he breathed her in as she teased his tongue and tasted him fully. He cupped her face with his hands and savored every last chill her kiss gave him. In that moment, he forgot where they were. Forgot all the years they'd been apart.
All he remembered was that he needed her to live.
His blood rushed through his veins with so much intensity that it left his breathing ragged and his body so hard it physically hurt to not be inside her.
Suddenly, Galene pulled back with a gasp.
Since he had no blood left in his brain, it took him a second to catch up to her as she returned to the panel and began pressing the screen. "W-w-w-what is it?"
"Did you hear that?"
Honestly? The only sound he could hear was his heart pounding in his ears. But as he strained, he caught a masculine voice speaking in Andarion to someone.
A female.
There was something familiar about both voices. Yet he couldn't quite place them. "Wait ... is that--"
"Eriadne," she finished for him. "They've released her from her confinement."
"Is that her speaking?"
She shook her head. "No. Believe me, I know that bitch's voice."
He scowled as they continued to speak. "Who's Nyran?"
"Merrell's youngest brother."
"I thought he was dead."
"So did I."
Fain's breath caught as the transmission cut off as if the sender realized they were listening. Sitting back, his head spun. At one time, Ven had been in bed with Eriadne--literally and figuratively--double-dealing against the Andarion race. Was it possible he might be doing it again?
"This is bad, Storm."
Resting her chin against her folded hands, she nodded. "You've no idea."
Her dread-filled tone made the hair on the back of his neck rise. "What?"
"Talyn killed Chrisen and Merrell. He tore them apart in Ring matches after they were tried and found guilty of attempted murder on Felicia, and plotting against Cairistiona. He's also the one who brought in Eriadne, single-handedly. I mean, Morra and Qo
ry and Ryn helped him, but he was the sole Andarion on the raid. He's the one who personally arrested her and was here on this station when Nyran's mother, Parisa, was killed. Nyran vowed to see him in his grave over their deaths. And Eriadne ... if she ever lays hands to him, she'll gut him."
Fain hesitated before he told her something he'd never breathed a word of. Not to anyone.
Ever.
"You know she's why my father lost his legs."
"Excuse me?" she breathed.
Fain swallowed and took a moment before he revealed the best-kept Hauk family secret of all time. Something not even Dancer knew. He'd only been told because of what had happened with him and Galene. It'd been his father's final blow to Fain's ego and was what had caused his father to hate him so incredibly much.
"For these worthless bastards you shit out, I gave up my legs? I should have let Eriadne kill them and kept my body intact!"
Fain winced as he forced that memory aside and explained it to Galene. "Because my father shamed Eriadne's family by sleeping with my mother while he was pledged to Cairistiona, Eriadne offered him a choice--he could give up the lives of any son he fathered with my mother or the legs he stood so proudly upon. Since he was a War Hauk, Eriadne couldn't legally demand his life or imprison him without a major shitstorm, but that was her offer to him. It's why he hates my mother so much. Why he's so bitter and mean to everyone around him."
"I thought he lost them in battle."
"That's the lie Eriadne forced us to tell. He had to sign a nondisclosure and agree to say they were lost in a battle with The Tavali. And it's why the Anatoles have had such a hard-on for my generation. Why they had Dariana marry Keris, and then kill him, and why they went after Dancer. It's partly why I didn't fight harder to stay with you. I kept thinking that if I stayed, one day they'd hold our child over my head, and I'd be like my paka, hating my sons for what they cost me."
"You could never be like your father."
Maybe, but there were times when he heard his father's words in his mouth, and thoughts in his head. Times when he felt that same level of bitterness toward the universe. It seemed the harder he tried to run from it, the quicker he came back to the gates where he started. "I just wanted the feud between my family and the eton Anatoles to stop."
He pressed her hand closer to his cheek and savored the warm comfort. "Gods, it's so unfair that we have to make the hardest decisions when we're so young. And then spend the rest of our years living with the consequences of them."
She let out a bitter half laugh. "You think you'd make better decisions when you're older? I don't know about you, but I still screw up routinely."
He laughed, then gave her a light kiss.
Until their reality returned. "They're going to be coming for us."
"I don't care about that," Fain assured her. "They can come for me. But you're right. Eriadne won't rest until she holds Talyn's head in her hands."
Jumping as if startled, Galene looked down at her link. A tiny smile lit her face before she held it up to him. It was a picture of Talyn, Gavarian, Vega, and War in the kids' bedroom in their condo. She pressed the message button.
"Night, Paka!" War and Vega said in unison. "Our brothers put us to bed and locked us in. See you tomorrow!"
Vega blew him a kiss, then rolled over to snuggle her little brother.
Talyn stood up and angled his link toward himself. "Just letting you know they're well fed, in bed, and safe, and we're heading to our rooms. Well, I'm heading to mine. Vari's probably going to troll slag--"
"Bite it, you smug, giant asshole," Gavarian snapped from off camera.
Talyn flashed a boyish grin that exposed his fangs. "Goodnight, Mum. 'Night, Hauk." The transmission ended with him threatening and teasing Gavarian as they left the kids' condo.
"Are they always like that?"
She nodded. "It's good, though. Vari's the first one Talyn's age who's ever treated him like a friend or brother. Until Vari started hanging out with him, he was always so serious and stern. Like you whenever you were without Dancer. It's good for him to be teased and to laugh like a normal young male."
Made sense. Most wingmen shared that close bond, since they were responsible for each other's lives in battle.
Sadly, Fain had never known that. As an Andarion soldier, his last name and lineage had kept him apart from his peers. No one wanted to be a team member with a Hauk.
They only wanted to show them up.
And speaking of ...
"I want to check something with that transmission. I'll be back in a little bit."
"Be careful."
He treasured those words as he left the commcen and headed toward the housing area. While he walked, old memories burned raw. He saw his parents fighting as he'd ducked and covered from their vicious hostility in Keris's room. Things had always gone nuclear around Keris's birthday.
But nothing compared to this fight.
"This is all your fault! You brought your lesser genes and tainted my blood with it and you see, you see what you've done!"
"Me? Don't you dare blame this on my family! Not when it was your worthless ancestor who just handed the throne of Andaria away! Who does that? A fool! Hauks have been idiots from the very beginning of our history and now you see what it's gotten you?"
"Yes, I do! A bitch for a wife and three pussies for sons!"
In their room, away from their fighting parents, Keris had turned on Fain then and seized him so fast, he hadn't even had time to defend himself before his brother had struck him so hard, it'd dazed him. "This is all your fault! They're going to hate me even more because you had to go and fuck a human whore! I hate you!" Furious, his brother had rained down blows faster than he could fight back.
Dancer had run to protect him, but Keris had lifted his brother from his feet and body-slammed him into the wall.
Then, he'd dragged Fain out of the room by his hair. Everything after that had happened in rapid succession. The screaming and shouting.
In the end, Fain only remembered Keris holding him down while his mother marked him as an Outcast, and then being shoved half-naked and bleeding out the door and told to never bother them again.
Dancer had snuck through the bedroom window with a backpack for the two of them. "I'm coming with you."
Stunned and aching, he'd stared at his brother who was still healing from his own surgeries that had been caused by Chrisen's treachery and now Keris's abuse, and choked on his tears. Dancer had looked more like a small child than a half-grown Andarion male. "You can't, Dancer. You have to stay."
"Not with them. They're all nuts. You're the only one I have I can rely on. You know that."
Sadly, he did.
Scared for his little brother, he'd pulled Dancer into his arms and hugged him, then kissed his head. "C'mon. I'll take you to Yaya Hauk's. But you can't come with me. I don't have any place to stay. And you still need medical care."
"I don't want to be here without you, Fain. I won't survive on my own."
"That's Keris's bullshit, D. You're a hell of a lot stronger than they know. I'd put you at my back a thousand times faster than I ever would Keris. Screw his military badges and honors. You're more War Hauk than anyone in our family. Never let them tell you otherwise. And don't worry. I'll never be far away from you. You need me, I'll always come."
How he wished he'd made that promise to Galene and Talyn. And how simple it'd seemed then.
The reality ...
"Hey, Fain."
He paused as he almost collided with Morra. Damn, she was the tiniest thing he'd ever known. "Hey, sorry. I didn't see you there."
She flashed an adorable grin. "Yeah, I know. It's the frog thing. We adapted to blend in with our environments."
"I thought that was chameleons."
"Nah, I'm more original. And harder to see." She winked at him.
Laughing, he shook his head as Jayne joined them and handed something to Morra. "What are you two up to?" he asked them.
"On our way to see Galene." Jayne tilted her head as she frowned up at him. "Are you okay? You have that look Hauk gets whenever he's worried about something, but doesn't want anyone to know."
Jayne had lived with her Trisani husband for too long. She was beginning to pick up on Hadrian's same psychic abilities.
"I'm fine."
Morra passed a droll stare to Jayne. "He's not fine."
"Yeah." She met Fain's gaze. "Don't worry. We know what's going on. I was on my way to tell Lena that Hadrian and the kids are secured. I can't reach Nyk right now as he and a crew of my compatriots are in a sector where they dare not transmit. I tried to get through to the palace, but all I got was Cairie's staff. For an obvious reason, I didn't dare leave a message."
He cursed under his breath. "You have any idea where Jullien trotted off to?"
She shook her head. "He went underground years and years ago, after The League approved a death warrant on him, issuer unknown. To the point, some say he's dead and buried in a hole on some backwater outpost in an unmarked grave. And let's face it, he wasn't a warrior or survivalist, by any means. I don't think he ever tied his own shoes or buttoned his own pants. Cairie got a birthday card from him that first year, but nothing afterward. He hasn't touched his accounts or sent any kind of message in a decade. Basically, he's been little more than a ghost since he handed Kiara over to Nyk's enemies, and Nyk promised to paint the walls with his brain matter should he ever invade Nyk's personal space again."
"You think he took refuge with Eriadne?"
"Who knows with those two? Like her, Jullien was always a slimy little bastard. I've heard she blames him for his cousins' deaths. So much so that she's the one who contracted for his life with The League. Other reports claim that they've been seen together for years. Personally, I don't know what to believe. If he is alive, he has to be shacked up with family. The gods know no female would have him. Not without his titles and inheritance."
Fain gaped. "Wait ... his parents couldn't pull The League kill warrant?"
"They tried to block it, but couldn't. When all was said and done, Jullien was the direct cause of the abduction and near murder of Kiara, who at that time was the Gourish princess, and is currently the future queen of Andaria and Triosa. Even though Cairie's the reigning Andarion monarch, The League stepped in and let the order for Jullien's execution stand. Since he's no longer heir to either empire, his parents couldn't say shit to stop it. They'd have to reinstate him, and that they won't do for fear of him going after Nyk again to get the throne. So if any bounty hunter or League assassin comes across Jullien, he's dead. And if Nyk ever lays eyes on him again ... he won't even be a fond memory."