"Spit it out, princess."
"Do you like art? As in going to museums? Paintings? Sculptures?"
There was a small silence. He regarded her for so long she was afraid he wouldn't answer. He'd gone very still, as if holding himself frozen in case he might shatter. His features were expressionless, but something moved behind those black, black eyes.
"My mother loved art," he said eventually. "I can remember her dragging me to every fuckin' art museum in the country and abroad. She would look at paintings for hours. I wasn't always the best, although secretly I didn't mind as much as I made out. Now ..." He shook his head and looked out over the river. "I wish I had those times back so I could be different."
Gino circled the porch column and kept his eyes on the moving water. She wanted to put her arms around him and hold him. "You were a boy, and she understood."
He looked back at her, that something in his eyes tearing at her. "She was gentle, like you, Zara. She would have loved you. My entire family would have. I didn't realize it until just this minute, but you're a lot like she was. Not in looks, but your nature. The way you care about me. The things you're willing to do for me. She was like that. She did them for my father. For me. We were the center of her universe."
"I hate not being able to hold you right now," she admitted.
He turned back to her, stalked the short distance between them and bent down to take her mouth. She expected gentle, but he was rough, his kiss a pure flame pouring down her throat. It was a claiming, and as inexperienced as she was, she still couldn't fail to understand. She took advantage, wrapping her arms around his neck, fingers finding his hair to tunnel in. She gave herself up to him, sensing he needed her surrender.
Gino lifted his head slowly. "We own a hell of a lot of art, Zara. You want it, I'll build us a room for it. She collected some beautiful and rare paintings. They need to be in a controlled environment. We can try to see how many art museums we can visit before we're so old we can't walk anymore, if that's what you want. I promise, I'll enjoy them all with you."
"I'd like that," she admitted.
He straightened and went back to the railing, leaning against it, regarding her with that serious expression he wore most of the time. "You like shopping?"
"I don't know." She flashed him a grin. "I've only ever really shopped in adult toy stores."
He burst out laughing. She loved what that did to his eyes. They crinkled at the corners and his dimple appeared, softening the hard angles and plains. "Yeah, you can forget going there without me. I'll take you myself."
A little shiver crept down her spine. "I'd like to try clothes shopping, although it probably would be intimidating the first time, but I'd get the hang of it. Bellisia might want to go with me into town sometimes." She liked talking about their future because it meant Whitney wasn't going to get her and neither was Zhu. Intellectually, she knew she was running out of time, but she needed this fantasy, this world Gino could give her if she survived.
He nodded. "Of course. She may want a girls' night out too. I want those things for you. Any of them ask and you want to go, say yes and let me know. I'll make sure you're safe. I imagine, depending on who goes, the others will make certain as well."
"I can't imagine Bellisia or Cayenne wanting anyone guarding them on a girls' night out."
"Doesn't matter, Zara. So, if you're talking about yourself, that's too bad. I can tell you straight up, Trap would never leave Cayenne hanging out there, and Zeke wouldn't leave Bellisia either. We have enemies and we're always going to have them. When you go out, you're going with guards. We can be invisible, but we'll make sure you all get home safely if you want to drink. No one's going to cut into your fun, baby, we want our women happy, and in particular, how you feel is important to me."
She thought it was a dumb thing to argue about because she really didn't mind if he watched over her when she was out with the girls having fun. She would definitely feel safer. "I get it. Everyone's lived here a lot longer than I have and I'm just trying to understand the rules, Gino, not really arguing against them."
"Tell me the things you dreamt of when you were going to the university. You had to have seen there was life outside Whitney's compound."
She nodded. "It was wonderful and terrifying at the same time. I was so young in comparison to the other students." She didn't always remember those days fondly.
"What was wonderful?"
"Being able to take back hope to my sisters. I realized what a family was. I watched some of the kids, and they were far older than me, get visitors--parents, siblings, grandparents--the people we never had in our lives. I wanted that for my sisters and I wanted it for me. I would watch television in my room, all the cooking shows and anything that portrayed families. The books I devoured were all about families. I read about them and saw them on television and then would tell the others."
"How many children do you want?"
She tipped her head up and looked to the sky. Clouds drifted across the wide expanse of blue, but there was very few of them, small wisps that made her think of lazy days. She'd never had that--a lazy day. They weren't allowed such a thing in Whitney's compound. Sitting on the porch or being with Gino at a swimming hole, with a picnic lunch, was a luxury.
"I don't know how many, Gino." She was honest. "I read books on parenting because, obviously, I wanted to know what I was doing, and I don't have a good example to follow ..." She broke off and pressed her hand over her womb. Rubbed gently. "Can you imagine feeling a baby, a life , kicking inside of you?"
He gave her a small grin. It lit his eyes, giving them a glint of humor through all that unrelenting black. "Not really. But I'd like to feel my child kicking inside of you. I thought three or four, but I know that's considered a lot these days. Most people opt for one or two because it's easier to support them and they say the planet is exploding with population."
"Does that mean we're supposed to only have one to two?"
"We can do anything we damn well please, princess. You want a dozen, I'll fucking give you a dozen. We've got money enough. I can give you anything you want."
"What about what you want?" She kept her gaze steady on his.
"I never wanted much of anything until you came along. I guess I'm going to have to reevaluate what my wants are. You. But I consider you a need, not a want."
She laughed softly. "You're so crazy. You don't need me. You have all this. This wonderful place. And you have freedom." Her smile faded and she fought the sudden lump in her throat. "I don't have that yet, not all the way. Any minute I expect someone to come and take me away from here."
"I want you to stop worrying about that, Zara. Let me worry. We need to get the information out of your head. The sooner you tell Bellisia she can talk to Zeke, and get her to give you the okay to talk to Trap and Wyatt, then we can all put our heads together and solve this problem. Trap is hell on wheels with this kind of thing because he thinks outside the box. Wyatt as well. We'll get the information out and Whitney will lose interest."
She thought it was interesting that he stated she shouldn't worry and clearly expected that she wouldn't just because he said so. He was used to people doing what he ordered, or maybe it was because he always followed through and made certain there was nothing to worry about. Whatever the reason, she felt the now-familiar flutter in the region of her heart. He made her feel cared for. Loved even. But Whitney wasn't the only one they had to worry about.
"Zhu won't lose interest." She tilted her head, challenging him. "You know he won't."
"I've got eyes on him. When he makes his move, we'll get him. The boys and I have been talking over a game plan."
"You didn't tell me that." Her stomach tightened into hard knots. "That means you think for certain he'll come." It was one thing for her to be so certain, but an altogether different one for him to be. She thought she'd gotten over terror, but it had been waiting, it was right there, pouncing before she could control it. Zhu. The monster. He was
in every nightmare. Gino holding her close to him helped, but sometimes she woke, her heart pounding and fear drying out her mouth.
"He'll come." Gino shrugged. "Let him." He crouched down in front of her again and took her hand, his thumb sliding over her knuckles. "Look at me, Zara."
He waited until her eyes met his, and she didn't like that she had no choice. She was compelled to look at him and if she didn't, he'd wait forever because he had the patience of a hunter. She swallowed hard at what she saw there.
"You've forgotten what I am, baby, and I'm okay with you forgetting once we remove the threats to you, but not now. Zhu hasn't done anything I haven't done. I can guarantee you, my training started long before his, and he isn't enhanced. I am. Even if it was an even playing field, Zara, you're mine and that means I have an edge because I'm not willing to give you up. And that fucker is going to pay for what he did to you."
She took a breath and released it, knowing she should have conveyed everything to him when she first was telling him about Zhu, but she'd been so frightened in those earlier days that small details, no matter how important, tended to escape her. "When I first arrived, I was taken to Cheng's office. He had tea brought in for us. Zhu poured the tea and I watched very closely because I was afraid they were going to drug the tea. They had me sit in a certain chair and I had the feeling they could monitor my heart and respiratory rate."
"It would be easy enough."
She nodded. His thumb continued to slide over her knuckles and there was something in that simple gesture that gave her confidence. "He poured Cheng's tea first and then mine. He didn't put anything in the tea, but I saw his finger slide around the lip of the teacup and I knew immediately he'd put some kind of drug on it. I had a couple of choices, but decided to go ahead and drink the tea. I was careful to use the same spot every single time when I sipped it."
"So, you ingested the drug."
She nodded. "It was definitely a truth serum, but one that acted differently than the conventional truth serums. They've been researching obviously. But it was more than that. I got around the need to answer their questions by doing math problems and coding in my head."
"What was the more, Zara?"
He knew her so well now. They'd spent so much time together, and he could read her. He knew she was reluctant to tell him. "You know how Whitney was pairing couples? He wanted to get certain traits together so he paired us with one another? Well, I think Cheng's people were working on something similar, or it was a by-product of the truth serum. It wasn't exactly the same as Whitney's because I knew immediately that something was wrong. I was attracted physically to Zhu."
She tried to look away from Gino, ashamed that even for one moment, chemically induced or not, she'd been attracted to such a horrible human being, but Gino wouldn't let her.
"Princess, just tell me, don't let yourself go back there. They did that to you. They did all of this to you. Cheng. Zhu. Whitney. You aren't responsible for any of it. You're in a good place right now, don't let them take it away from you."
"I got over the attraction fairly quickly. I don't know if doing the math in my head helped, or my fear, or what, but he didn't get over it. He was attracted. It didn't stop him from hurting me, in fact he made it clear that he would continue to hurt me, so I don't think the physical attraction mattered that much to him. Maybe he's attracted to tons of women ..."
Gino shook his head. "We've had a couple of our best people finding out what they could about him. Flame, Wyatt's sister-in-law, and Jaimie, the wife of another GhostWalker, are both very good at ferreting out things people don't want brought into the light. The clubs Zhu frequents when he goes to other countries are not for the nice or faint of heart. They aren't simple bondage clubs, they're clubs where men and women can inflict a lot of pain on others for their own sexual gratification. That's a lot different than tying up a partner for fun and sexual pleasure. Zhu gets off on causing pain. You're perfect for him in a lot of ways."
She shuddered. "I'm not, Gino. I hate pain. People like Zhu find women who get off on pain. That isn't me."
"No, baby, it isn't. But he's physically attracted. You're beautiful and intelligent. You can contribute to their coffers by leading their research programs. You're naturally passive or, for want of a better word, submissive. Best of all, for him, you don't like pain. He doesn't want a partner who gets off on it, he gets off on hurting people, seeing their pain. Where is he ever going to find a combination like that? My best guess is, he researched you thoroughly, watched you for a long time and then set a trap for you."
She was silent, hating that he might be right. "You think I'm submissive?"
"Yeah, baby, I know you are, and that suits my personality. Fortunately, you also have that temper of yours so you'll keep me in line."
She frowned at him, thinking it over, and then she shook her head. "I like to please you, Gino, but I don't think I'm submissive. I assert myself. Even with Whitney, and he scared me. Not like Zhu, but I knew he didn't like me and he tossed me in solitary every chance he got. Knowing what would happen, I still defied him. Especially if he got upset with Bellisia or Shylah. It was easy enough to redirect his wrath to me."
"Being submissive doesn't make you a wimp, baby. You're strong and courageous. I have no idea how you could hear his voice telling you that you're a coward, when your brain has to tell you that you aren't. Submissive can mean many things, but it doesn't mean you lie down for everyone. It only means you prefer to comply with an authority figure."
She did, but only if he was just. She nodded. "Whitney was an asshole to everyone. I wouldn't call him in the least bit fair." Which was why she'd defied him over contraband and a zillion other things. He didn't deserve to be obeyed. She'd tried so hard to please him when she was young, but then, over time, realized nothing she did would ever be good enough. "Zhu was a thousand times worse."
"Neither man deserved your surrender."
She wasn't talking about that with him, not until she thought it over more. "Why did the pheromones work on Zhu but not me? Because I swear, even when he was beating the shit out of me, the physical attraction, for him, grew toward me while mine toward him was completely gone. Even before he actually hurt me it was gone. One of the things I was afraid of was that he might douse me with whatever that was and I'd feel something for him."
"Why would he ever use something like that on himself? If he wanted to get you to be attracted to him, he would use it on you, not him. It was to his advantage to make you want him, not the other way around. He had to have been naturally attracted. Probably the more he hurt you and you reacted the way he needed, the more it fed his attraction. Either you were right and the truth serum had a side effect, or they were trying out their own, obviously not as good as Whitney's creation."
"That information wouldn't have been included in the file Violet gave Cheng," Zara pointed out. "Whitney went through his computer very carefully. All details are compartmentalized. She gave Cheng the facts, that the United States had teams of soldiers enhanced both psychically and physically. There were some details, but mainly she counted on Cheng getting a soldier from your particular unit. She detested everyone here because they accepted the babies with their venom, and Pepper and Cayenne with theirs. Whitney was upset that he hadn't gotten rid of Violet a while back, when he first began to lose control. He paired her with him, thinking that would take care of the problem, but it didn't."
"Because he doesn't understand emotion."
"No, he doesn't," she agreed. "He doesn't seem to really feel much for anyone, unless it's his adopted daughter, Lily, but she's truly the only one, if he really does." She chewed on her bottom lip for a moment, thinking of all the talks she'd had with the doctor. "Although he even experimented on her. It bothered him that Ryland, her husband, was one of the first GhostWalkers because he considers all of that team flawed."
"They need anchors, someone to draw the overload of psychic energy away from them, or they get brain bleeds li
ke Pepper."
She nodded. "Whitney never liked that she had a baby with Ryland. I know, if he got his hands on the child, he would experiment on him. He talked about it. Whitney often talked to me about experiments, mostly, I think, because he didn't have anyone he trusted that much and he was certain I'd never be able to get away from him."
"And you could understand what he was talking about." Gino stood up and moved back into the shadows of one of the porch columns. She liked him close. Touching her. She really was too far gone on him if he couldn't stand just a few feet away without her feeling the loss.
"Bellisia and Zeke are here, princess. Their car just pulled up."
"I don't see them." She leaned forward to look into the yard, but she didn't see Ezekiel's car. She hoped Gino was right. She really wanted to talk to her best friend. She needed to straighten things out between them. She'd chosen Gino as her partner and she'd fallen hard for him, but she owed it to Bellisia to give her permission to tell her husband what Zara was hiding and to clear things up between them. She had never been terribly good at asserting herself, but this time, she had to make Bellisia understand why she'd lied about wanting to go out into the world and give talks.