Page 2 of Seesaw Girl


  The matchmaker had visited a few months earlier with word that a man of good family sought Willow for his bride. As Jade's paternal grandparents had both gone to the Heavenly Kingdom, it was her father, Willow's eldest brother, who stood in for them and agreed to the match.

  Everyone was scurrying about making last-minute preparations. Jade Blossom sat in the women's quarters watching Willow get ready for the ceremony.

  Watching when she could, that is. Jade's mother and Eldest Aunt kept calling out orders: "Get some more hair oil! Where is the comb? Fetch a needle and thread! Hurry!"

  They were not the only ones who were busy The other aunts were in the kitchen, supervising the final touches on the lavish wedding banquet. The servants flew about with a hundred tasks. And Jades father, as head of the household, was inspecting the Great Hall, where the ceremony would take place.

  Willow was ready. Her long red silk skirt flowed out from under a bright green jacket. Around her waist she wore a belt with heavily embroidered tassels. Her hair was twisted into an elaborate bun that had been lacquered until it gleamed like a mirror. An intricate wedding headdress rested atop her head. Her face had been powdered until it was as white as paper, her kohl-drawn eyebrows arched delicately, and her lips were stained ruby red.

  Jade couldn't stop staring at Willow. For as long as she could remember, Willow had been beside her as they worked on their household tasks. After the work was done, they had spent many happy afternoons together in the garden. Jade could not recall ever having been without Willow's cheerful companionship.

  Now she looked like a stranger. She looked so grown-up, so beautiful, that Jade was almost afraid to speak to her. But as they left the women's quarters to go across the Inner Court to the Great Hall where the ceremony would take place, Jade stepped forward and handed Willow a small package.

  "What's this?" Willow asked with a smile. She opened the rice-paper wrapping carefully. Inside was a small purse in the traditional shape—a drawstring pouch made of silk and brightly embroidered. Jade had made it herself.

  "It's lovely." Following tradition, Jade had covered the front of the purse with bright flowers. On the back such a purse would have a single Chinese character indicating perhaps "luck" or "happiness." Chinese characters were considered more poetic than their Korean equivalents. Willow turned the purse over.

  Instead of a Chinese word, Jade had embroidered a rabbit-hair brush. Willow looked up quickly; their eyes met and danced together briefly.

  But Eldest Aunt was impatient, as always. "Come, Willow! It's time!"

  ***

  The Great Hall had been specially prepared for the ceremony. There were finely woven straw mats and silk cushions covering the floor on either side of the room, with a long, low table in the center. Jade's father led the family into the Hall and took his place on one side of the room, with his three brothers at his side. All their sons sat behind them. Jade sat with the women and girls, clustered in one corner of the room; Willow took her place at the central table.

  Jade's father rose from his place when the gatekeeper announced the arrival of the groom's family. As the great door to the Hall opened wide to admit the guests, Jade could see part of the long line of sedan chairs that had carried the women and girls.

  They arrived at dusk, the traditional time for a lucky wedding. Candles burned to light the Great Hall. The groom's parents entered first and exchanged deep bows with Jade's father. They were followed by the groom himself, then the other members of his family—twenty in all.

  Jade watched eagerly for the grooms entrance. He came into the room carrying a wild goose under one arm. He placed the goose on the central table and took his place opposite Willow.

  Jade had attended the weddings of all three of her uncles. She had been too young to remember anything about the first two. But the wedding of her third uncle a few years ago had been one of the most exciting days of her young life. With her mother she had been carried in a sedan chair to the house of the bride's parents. There had been a wonderful feast, and other children to meet and play with. Of all Jade's memories of that day, it was the goose she remembered most clearly.

  It was known that a pair of geese mated for life, so the groom always brought a wild goose to the wedding as the symbol of perfect faithfulness. The goose was placed on the table and remained there throughout the ceremony. Then it was taken outside and released, whereupon it presumably found its mate again.

  At the wedding of Jade's uncle the goose had refused to stay on the table. It had run about the room, squawking and in a most undignified manner. Jade and the other children had jumped to their feet, laughing and pointing, and she had never forgotten the severe reprimand she had received from her mother on her behavior at such a solemn occasion. The problem had been solved by releasing the goose a little sooner than was usual.

  Now Jade watched closely so as not to miss any excitement. When the groom placed the goose on the table, he stroked its feathers gently and put a small handful of grain before it. The goose settled down and pecked calmly at the grain. Jade had not wanted Willow's wedding ceremony to be spoiled by an ill-mannered goose, but even so, she was a little disappointed that this goose behaved so well.

  Later, Tiger Heart told her that the groom had caught the goose several days before the wedding and kept it about the house, training it to keep still with handfuls of grain. Jade thought it was a good omen for Willow that her new husband showed such foresight.

  ***

  When the groom's family was all assembled on the other side of the room, the ceremony began. First there was the bowing. The groom bowed once to Jade's father; Willow bowed twice to the groom's parents. Then the sequence was repeated. These were the traditional bows of deepest respect; each bow took a full minute or more to complete. The groom bent his knees slowly until they touched the ground, then lowered his forehead to the ground. Willow finished her bows in a seated pose, with her forehead likewise on the ground. She was required to bow twice as many times as the groom to signify the weaker position of the woman.

  Then the bride and groom faced each other across the low table. They shared three spoonfuls of rice and drank rice wine from special marriage bowls. The two bowls had been carved from a single gourd, to show how the two people were parts of the same soul now.

  Finally the couple stood and bowed together, first to the groom's parents and then to Jade's father. The groom picked up the goose and strode to the door of the hall. Everyone watched as he opened the door and threw the goose into the air.

  That was the signal for merriment. The servants began to bring in tray after tray of food and rice wine, and the celebration began in earnest. Jade jumped to her feet to help her mother and aunts serve the men. Amid the sudden burst of activity she saw Willow, still seated at the central table.

  For the entire ceremony and the party that followed, Willow was forbidden to eat or drink anything except the ceremonial rice and wine. She was also forbidden to smile or speak to anyone. Her complete silence and sobriety would demonstrate the depth of her virtue to her new family.

  Jade had forgotten this part until now. Seeing Willow alone and motionless in the middle of the room, while all around her people ate and drank and laughed, Jade felt a lump rise in her throat. She could not cry, for she knew that tears at a wedding might bring the couple terrible luck.

  Jade realized then what she had been trying not to think about ever since she had first heard about the wedding. This might be the last time she ever saw Willow. Now that she was married, Willow would never again return to house of Han. She belonged to their family no more.

  Chapter Five

  Thread with No End

  After Willow's departure, not a single hour went by in which Jade did not think of her. Jade played with her other cousins once in a while, but all of them were younger and none felt like a real friend. Without Willow, Jade did not even have the heart to plan pranks anymore.

  Jade was now the oldest girl in the house. She ha
d to do more of the household work and had less time to play. She was learning to sew the garments back together after they had been pounded smooth; before, she had been trusted only to rip them apart. Jade's mother and aunts scolded her about her sewing: Her seams were not straight enough; she sewed too slowly.

  Jade realized that these new responsibilities had been Willow's before. Willow had never complained. She had done her work cheerfully and well, and always had time to spend with Jade. But Jade hated sewing as she had always hated pounding the laundry. She liked embroidery, for she liked seeing how the colored stitches slowly joined to make a picture. But sewing clothes together only to have them ripped apart again?

  One day, when she had pricked her finger for what seemed like the hundredth time, she asked Eldest Aunt, "Why can't we just wash the clothes as they are? Why do we have to rip them apart and sew them back together all the time?"

  Her aunt, harried and busy, answered impatiently. "Silly girl! Don't you know that dirt hides in the stitching, in all the pockets and corners? Wherever there is dirt, the spirits of sickness can hide too! Ripping the clothes apart is the only way to get them truly clean. Now stop asking such stupid questions. No man will want a wife who thinks in such a lazy way."

  Jade bent over her sewing once again. The thread twisted and made yet another terrible knot that she had to unpick little by little. As she threaded the needle again, she thought of all the stitches she would have to sew in her lifetime, and the thread seemed to have no end.

  ***

  Jade's brother Tiger Heart was the oldest son of the oldest son of the house of Han. As such he had many responsibilities, but also many privileges. It was he who accompanied their father on his trips up the mountain on all the important feast days. There they visited the family shrine and honored their dead ancestors with gifts and prayers.

  "Elder Brother, what is it like there?" Jade asked him when he returned from one such journey.

  Tiger thought for a moment. He tried to explain. "The mountains look so far away when you first start on the road. They get closer and closer, but even when you reach the lower hills, the top still looks far away.

  "Our ancestors' gravesite is not quite halfway up. When you get there, you can turn and look back down the mountain. Then you can see the line of people, like a snake, going far down the road, all of them going to their ancestors' graves."

  Jade asked more questions. Tiger told her about the worship ceremony, when he and their father laid gifts of food and small amounts of money on the stone altar. He told her how they tidied the gravesite, clearing weeds and planting shrubs and flowers. He talked about the grand picnic they had on the way back down, in a little clearing cooled by a bubbling stream.

  Jade listened with all her heart. She tried to make pictures in her head of what Tiger told her. One day she discovered that if she stood in a certain spot in the center of the garden, she could just make out the mountain peaks beyond the Outer Court walls. After that she would stand in the spot every day and look; on some days the peaks were hidden by thick clouds, and even on clear days the very tops were all she could see.

  It was almost worse than not being able to see the mountains at all. How hard it was to imagine things that she had never seen!

  ***

  Tiger also went out with the servants on market days. He always had a few won in his pocket to throw at a passing juggler or to buy sweets. Tiger was a good brother. He always brought home sweets for Jade and their younger brother, Mountain Wind.

  But Jade wanted more than sweets. Whenever Tiger returned from one of his forays to the market, she plied him with questions.

  "What was the market like today? Was it very crowded? Was the magician there?"

  "No, Jade," said Tiger. "The magician was not there today. But there was a traveling jester. He was even better than the magician. He could juggle three rings while running about the main square and singing a funny song at the same time!"

  Jade tried to imagine such a sight. She fetched three carved wooden bracelets from her room and gave them to Tiger. He began running around the Inner Court, pretending to juggle and singing at the top of his lungs. Jade and the cousins laughed at him.

  Encouraged by their laughter, Jade got up to try. She took the bracelets from Tiger and tried running backward, tossing them up and catching them all the while. Everyone was laughing when she crashed right into Eldest Aunt, who was carrying a fresh jar of kimchee.

  "Ai-gof shouted Eldest Aunt. The jar of pickled cabbage was jostled from her hands, but she caught it just in time. "Jade Blossom! You are too old for such foolishness. What are you doing here anyway? I heard your mother calling you. She needs help with the evening meal. Go!"

  The laughter died away. Jade soberly straightened her clothes and hair and went to find her mother. For the thousandth time Jade wondered what Willow was doing now.

  Chapter Six

  Baskets to Market

  More than two months had passed since Willow's wedding, and Jade could stand it no longer. She knew that neither of them was allowed to leave her home, but she had to see Willow again, no matter what. Jade needed a plan.

  Over the next month she watched the servants carefully. She saw that every few days they went to the kitchens and emptied the last of the vegetables from the huge baskets in which they were stored. The baskets were taken to the Outer Court. Later that morning they were returned, full of fresh vegetables.

  So Jade knew that the baskets had been taken to the market. The next time Tiger returned from market day, she asked him how it was done.

  "They load the baskets onto a cart, and one of the oxen pulls it. Why do you want to know?" he asked.

  "Oh, no reason," Jade replied. But the plan was beginning to form.

  Jade knew that the baskets were big enough for her to squat down in so she could not be seen. But she did not know how she would get to the Outer Court and into a basket without anyone seeing her. There would be servants everywhere.

  Jade was patient. She planned carefully. A few days later she watched as the baskets were taken out of the kitchen. Jade then began counting on her fingers to find out how long it took for the cart to be loaded. For every ten counts, she made a mark on the ground with a stick. She had made eleven marks when she heard the Outer Gate open and the steady clop of the ox's hoofs as the cart was driven away. Jade decided that there would be enough time for her to get into a basket—if she could distract the servants somehow.

  The day before her planned escape, Jade saved scraps from all her meals. By the end of the day she had a piece of linen cloth filled with chicken bones, bits of meat, and balls of rice. She tied the corners of the cloth together and buried the parcel in the garden.

  Jade rose the next morning to a perfect fall day. The sun was warm, a crisp breeze blew, and the sky was the clear blue of the finest porcelain. An omen, Jade thought, a sign that today was the day. When she dressed, she added one item to her usual attire: She took the carved ivory ball from its silk bag and put it into her pocket.

  Jade could hardly swallow her breakfast that morning. Fortunately, her mother did not notice how much food she left uneaten. Jade dutifully helped clean up after the morning meal, feeling her stomach grow tight with excitement. She finished her chores in time to see the servants carry the baskets to the Outer Court.

  Jade took a deep breath. She ran to the garden, pulled out the parcel of food scraps, and ran back to the Inner Court. She was almost out of time.

  She untied the corners of the cloth almost all the way. With all her might, she flung the parcel over the Inner Court wall.

  It landed, as she had planned, near the hens' nests, which were lined up in a neat row under their little roof against the Outer Court wall. The household dogs, who prowled about the Outer Court, smelled it at once. They bounded eagerly past the stables and grappled with one another to try to reach the tasty scraps.

  Meanwhile, of course, the hens were in a terrible frenzy. The squawking and barking bro
ught all the servants running—including those who had been busy loading the cart.

  Jade peered about the Inner Court. She could hear the laundry sticks and Schoolmaster's voice. No one was watching.

  Clutching the little ivory ball for luck, Jade dashed through the gatekeeper's door. Everything was going perfectly. There were no servants nearby—and there in front of her, just before the Outer Gate, was the cart!

  Jade's heart was beating so hard that she felt sure her mother would hear it. She pulled up her long skirts awkwardly and clambered onto the cart. She took the cover off the nearest basket. There were some old cabbage leaves at the bottom. They didn't smell very good, but Jade had no more time. She climbed into the basket, crouched down, and pulled the lid back on.

  The squawking and barking subsided, and she heard footsteps returning to the cart. The servant climbed onto the front seat and tapped the ox with a stick. Off they went—ox, servant, and stowaway.

  Chapter Seven

  The Road to Willow

  Crouched and uncomfortable in her hiding place, Jade was nonetheless elated. Her plan had worked! Now all she had to do was get out of the basket at the marketplace and figure out where the house of Lee was. That was Willow's home now.

  Jade had questioned Tiger extensively about the marketing routine. He had answered her questions as he always did, annoyance balanced by good humor. From his description she knew that the servant would leave the ox grazing under a tree, then enter the marketplace to do the buying. After a time he would return to the cart and fill the baskets with his purchases.

  Jade felt the cart bumping over the road for what seemed like hours. When the cart stopped, Jade waited still longer, to be sure that the servant had left to do the marketing. She had a bit of luck: The servant greeted a friend as he was tending to the ox, and she could hear their voices fade away. She peeped out of the basket.