Page 3 of Seesaw Girl


  She saw a crowd of people, most of them poorly dressed and carrying heavy loads on their jiggehs, the homemade wooden frames that served as backpacks. This was exciting enough for Jade, who rarely saw people from outside her own family. But an even greater surprise awaited her.

  She saw girls. Women and girls! There were girls in the crowd—girls her age, with their mothers and grandmothers. Jade could not believe her eyes. Who were these girls, and why did their families allow them to leave their Inner Courts?

  When Jade had recovered from her amazement, her mind returned to the task at hand. She waited for a moment when the passing crowd had thinned a little. No one noticed as she hopped out of the basket and climbed down from the cart. Cautiously she made her way to the road to join the crowds as they walked toward the marketplace.

  There were so many people! Carts, oxen, chickens, and dogs added to the fray; dust rose in billowing clouds from the road. How would she ever find the house of Lee in this mess?

  It was then that Jade discovered she had made a mistake. She had given no thought to any kind of disguise. She was wearing her everyday clothes. They were made of fine linen, and while they lacked the brilliant colors of her best silk dresses, they were still unmistakably the clothes of a girl from a noble family.

  The crowd began to notice her. First a woman nudged her companions, and soon others were spreading the word that a wealthy girl was on the road. Jade realized what was happening as more and more eyes turned to her. She began to feel panic rising inside her when suddenly she felt a tug on her sleeve.

  Jade looked down to see a child about seven years old next to her. The child was dressed in coarse rags, and Jade could not tell if it was a boy or a girl. But there was a look of lively curiosity on its face.

  The child tugged again and addressed her respectfully. "Pardon me, mistress. Are you rich?"

  Pleased by the child's politeness, Jade answered seriously. "I never thought about it. My father is an adviser to the King. Does that make me rich?"

  "Oh, yes! And I've met lots of rich people. The men and boys come to the marketplace all the time. I've talked to the servants a lot too. But this is the first time I've ever talked to a rich girl"

  The child's friendliness made Jade feel less lost, and it occurred to her that the child might be of some help. She spoke while moving off to the side of the road, where she hoped she would be less conspicuous. "Even if I am rich, I still need help."

  "What kind of help, mistress?"

  "I am looking for the house of Lee. Perhaps you know it. Mr. Lee also works at the court of the King."

  The child frowned for a moment. "Would that be the Lee household that had such a grand wedding a few months ago?"

  Jade felt hope and excitement wash over her. "Yes, yes, that's the one."

  "It was great fun! We followed the wedding parade all the way to the house, and the servants threw sweets to us. I didn't get as many sweets as my brother—he's older than me—but still I got three, and that's more than I've ever had, even at New Year's—"

  "Could you tell me where the house is?" Jade interrupted. "If you do, I'll try to get some more sweets for you. My brother comes to the market often. I'll ask him to give you some."

  "My name is Chang. My family sells cabbages in the market. We usually have the third stall on the right."

  "Yes, all right," Jade said impatiently. "Where is the house of Lee?"

  The child pointed. "Follow the road past the marketplace. Just beyond, the road will fork. Take the left fork—if you went to the right, you would come to the King's palace! Have you ever been there? They say it has more than a hundred rooms! I've been to the gates often. Sometimes I stand there and try to see what's inside when they open the gates. But I can't stay long, because the guards usually chase us off—"

  "I go to the left," Jade prompted her voluble instructor. "That's right, and you walk a little ways and you'll come to a bridge over a stream. It will probably take you a little while to cross it, because everyone else will be coming the other way, it being the morning—"

  Whether from the child's incessant prattling or from her own unfamiliarity with the place, Jade began to feel apprehensive. She interrupted again to say, "Why can't you show me the way yourself?"

  The child's face dimmed momentarily. "Oh, I couldn't. I really shouldn't even be spending so much time talking to you now. I have to go back and help my family at the market. But don't worry, the house isn't hard to find. Once you're past the bridge, you keep walking—you'll be able to see the house already—it's the biggest house you can see from there."

  Jade sighed inwardly; she would have liked the child's company. But she listened carefully and repeated the directions back to the child. Then she asked, "Would you help me with one more thing?"

  The child was obliging and, following Jade's instructions, picked up handfuls of road dust and rubbed them all over her clothes. Jade furthered their efforts by stamping up more dust, even sitting down on the ground so the child could cover her thoroughly with dirt. Her companion giggled with delight at the unusual task and did not bother to ask for an explanation. When at last they finished and the dust had settled, Jade's clothes, while not ragged or coarse, fit in a great deal better with the crowd.

  Just then, shouts could be heard from far down the road. Jade and her companion looked up. A cloud of dust rose in the distance, signaling that a great many people were hurrying toward them.

  Chapter Eight

  Prisoners

  Word traveled faster than the crowd, and long before the commotion reached the marketplace, the people around them were buzzing with the news. Jade turned to her companion in puzzlement and was about to speak when the child suddenly dashed into the road. Chang spoke animatedly to a man for a few moments, then ran back to Jade.

  "What is it? What's happening?"

  "They're bringing the strangers! They're taking them to the palace!"

  Not waiting for her reply, Chang whirled away again and joined many others who were rushing to meet the approaching throng.

  Strangers? What was the child talking about? With the noise and chaos growing louder and more confusing every moment, Jade did not dare to step into the road again. She moved a few more steps in the direction the child had indicated would take her to the house of Lee, then half concealed herself behind a tree. The commotion had drawn most of the people from the marketplace; they were lining up on either side of the road. She did not want to be spotted by the servant.

  Jade did not have long to wait. Soon the great crowd reached them—the first people running or trotting, most of them shouting angrily. They were followed by a phalanx of soldiers; she recognized their splendid scarlet uniforms and armor from having heard Tiger's descriptions of them.

  The soldiers—hundreds of them, it seemed—marched impassively, forming a guard around several groups of men. Jade could not see their faces clearly at first, but she saw that there were more prisoners than she could count on her fingers. The prisoners were chained together and held roughly by soldiers who pushed them along. The din had grown to a roar by the time the soldiers drew level with her, so no one heard the cry of surprise that rose from Jade's throat. The prisoners looked like no men she had ever seen. They had red faces, with eyes that seemed to have no color at all and noses that protruded like the beaks of birds. Several had what seemed to be yellow or brown sheep's wool on their cheeks and chins; a few had hair—it must have been hair, for it covered the top of their heads—but how could it be hair? For it was the color of straw.

  Chang had said they were being taken to the palace. Why? And why were the onlookers so angry? A thousand questions jostled in Jade's head until it felt as crowded and confused as the scene before her.

  Most of the people along the road followed the soldiers and their prisoners. As the remaining crowd thinned, Jade caught a glimpse of Chang and hurried to catch up.

  "What is it? Where are they going?" she panted, trotting alongside.

  "T
hey're taking them to the palace!" Chang shouted breathlessly. "They're going to chop their heads off!"

  It took a moment for Jade to comprehend what the child had said. She almost tripped as she ran and made a desperate grab for Chang.

  "Why? What have they done?" she asked, holding the child's arm.

  "Don't you know? They're not allowed to be here—they've broken the law!" Chang shook off her hand impatiently and disappeared into the crowd.

  The din was fading, and with it some of the noise in Jade's head seemed to quiet down too. She stood still, trying to piece together what Chang had told her. Those men were criminals. What had they done? What law had they broken? And where had they come from?

  She recalled the faces of the strangers—the odd color of their skin, their pale eyes, and their beaked noses. Surely no good people looked like that.

  Chapter Nine

  The Gatekeeper

  Jade had almost forgotten her original intention. Willow! Her husband worked in the court of the King—perhaps Willow would know the answers to her questions.

  With the road quiet again, she remembered the child's directions and set out for the house of Lee. The old wooden bridge with its rickety railing was just wide enough for a man to pass with his ox or donkey alongside. Thanks to the excitement caused by the soldiers and their prisoners, the bridge was empty, and she crossed easily. As she walked to the gate of the Lee house, Jade felt a shiver of anticipation. She would soon be reunited with Willow again!

  The door in the outer wall opened a crack as Jade approached. She could see the gatekeeper's eye peering through the opening. The gatekeeper barked rudely, "What do you want?"

  Jade was indignant at being addressed in such a way by a servant. She drew herself up and made her voice as dignified as possible. "I am here to see Graceful Willow. Please tell her it is her niece."

  The gatekeeper scolded her. "You are not her niece! How dare you come to this house in such falseness! Get away with you, pig girl!"

  Jade's eyes blazed with anger. "I am her niece! Go and tell her that Jade Blossom is here. If you do not, I will see to it that you are severely punished."

  The gatekeeper had been ready to slam the door shut, but as Jade watched, he hesitated and inspected her closely. Jade glanced down at her dirty clothes. She looked up again when the gatekeeper spoke.

  "I will tell the mistress that you are here. But if you are not who you say you are..." He did not need to finish the threat. The punishment for such impudence, Jade knew, was a severe paddling. In her own household the heavy wooden paddles hung in the gatekeeper's quarters, ready to be used against impudent peddlers or beggars.

  The door closed. Jade waited. It seemed a long time before it opened again.

  The gatekeeper seemed triumphant. "The mistress says that no girl from the house of Han would ever dare present herself as you have! She refuses to see you. Now be off with you!"

  "No!" Jade cried out in horror. "I am her niece! Please—" She looked around wildly as if for help, then groped for the ivory ball in her pocket. "Take this to her. It will prove that I am who I say!"

  The gatekeeper ignored her outstretched hand. "I will not bother the mistress again, you stupid girl! And I do not understand, but the mistress did not wish for you to be punished. She told me merely to send you away. Go!"

  The door slammed. Jade staggered as if her face had been slapped. She knew it would be useless to try again.

  ***

  As she trudged back toward the marketplace, Jade's numbed mind slowly recovered. The girl at the gate was not to be punished—those were Willow's orders. She must have suspected that it might indeed be Jade. Why had Willow refused to see her?

  Jade did not want to think about it anymore. She arrived at the marketplace just in time to see the servant loading the baskets full of vegetables back onto the cart, and she realized dispiritedly that her failure to see Willow had left her without a plan for the return journey. She had assumed that Willow would order a sedan chair to take her home. And she could not go the way she had come, for the baskets were full now.

  There was nothing else for it. Jade walked right up to the servant and asked him to take her home.

  The servant's eyes nearly popped out of his head. "Ai-go, ai-go, young mistress—what will your mother say?" Greatly agitated, he ran back into the marketplace and returned with a length of new cloth. He helped Jade onto the seat of the cart and threw the cloth over her, somewhat belatedly hiding her from the eyes of strangers.

  Jade was too discouraged to protest. But on the journey home she found she could arrange the cloth to keep most of her head and body covered while leaving a peephole for one eye. She saw the people on the road again, and other things she had not noticed in the earlier turmoil.

  She saw the watery green fields of rice beyond the road. She saw a stork picking its way through the water, and cattle grazing at the roadside. And she saw, with awe and wonder, the blue-gray mountains in the far distance.

  Jade caught her breath. The mountains towered over the city, yet the mists that shrouded them somehow gentled their power. The mountains seemed at once mysterious and familiar, and Jade marveled that ordinary things like rock and earth and trees could rise to such magnificence.

  Somehow their great solidity was a comfort to her, smoothing out the roiled thoughts of all she had done and seen that morning. In spite of the confusion in her head, the mountains would never change. Somewhere on those misty gray slopes were the ancestral graves of her family, where Tiger and her father went with the other men on feast days. She wondered what it would be like to actually walk those slopes, and knew with a pain in her heart that she would do so only in her dreams.

  Jade looked at the mountains as long as she could, until the cart turned into the Outer Court and her mother came running.

  Chapter Ten

  A Willing Heart

  It did not take long for Jade to realize that her plan had failed in more ways than one. Her mother was so angry that she did not even speak at first. When Jade climbed down from the cart at the gate to the Inner Court, her mother merely gestured for her to go to the kitchens, as it was time for the noon meal.

  Jade felt as though she had been gone for days, but the pattern of the household had continued unchanged in her absence. The men ate first, served by the women. Helping her mother and aunts wait on the men, Jade found that she could hardly even look at her father. Although he was always aloof and reserved with the children, she felt that his countenance was even more severe than usual. Later, when the women and girls ate, Jade sat silently, her face burning, while all the aunts and girl cousins whispered behind their hands and stared at her.

  Jade and her brothers loved and respected their father, but as head of the Han household he did not have much idle time to spend with them. It was their mother who looked after such family matters as the disciplining of the children. After dinner that evening, Jade was summoned to her mother's room.

  Her mother spoke quietly. "I think you already know that what you did today was very wrong, Jade. It was not just one thing. It was many things. You deceived your family. You went into the road, where strange men could see you. You could have gotten lost, or hurt. You have brought great shame to our household. You were very lucky that nothing worse happened."

  Jade bowed very low, as was the custom. Hunched over on the ground, she felt much smaller and younger than her twelve years. She whispered, "I am sorry, Honorable Mother, that I brought shame to our family."

  "What were you doing, Jade? Did you want sweets from the market? Tiger Heart can always bring you what you want."

  Jade heard the gentleness in her mother's voice. She raised her head. "No, Mother. I went to the house of Lee. I wanted to see Graceful Willow again."

  Her mother was silent for a moment. Then she asked, "Did you succeed?"

  Jade bowed her head again. She whispered, "No, Mother. Willow would not see me."

  "Do you know why?"

  Jade s
hook her head.

  "Jade, Willow is no longer your aunt. Now she is the wife of the oldest son of the house of Lee. That is a great responsibility. How would it look to the Lees if they were to learn that a member of our family could behave so dishonorably? Graceful Willow is a dutiful girl. She sent you home so as not to dishonor her new family."

  Jade could not look at her mother. She did not want to believe these words, yet somehow she felt that they must be true.

  Her mother was still speaking. "I have decided that as your punishment you will beat the family laundry for five days, by yourself. But not only with your hands—you must do it with a willing heart."

  Jade nodded numbly. "Yes, Mother. It shall be so." She longed to speak to her mother of the things she had seen that morning, but it was not her place to do so unless her mother brought up the subject first.

  Jade's mother looked at her daughter for a long moment. "Little Jade ... Do not think that I do not understand. I know that life in the Inner Court sometimes lacks excitement. But I wish to tell you something that you will learn for yourself when you are older." She walked to the paper door of the room and slid it open.

  "Come stand here with me, Jade," she said. They stood together and looked out over the Inner Court. It was quiet now. Lanterns hung at the corners of the buildings, and the rooms beyond glowed golden behind their paper doors. Jade could hear voices and occasionally laughter.

  "At the end of the day, when I am so tired from the laundry and preparing the food and caring for all the people in our household, sometimes I stand here like this. Everyone has eaten well and has clean clothes. Soon everyone will go to sleep in neat, orderly rooms. I have helped with all that. It is partly because of my work that the house of Han is at peace."

  She looked down at Jade and stroked her hair. "It is a very satisfying feeling, Jade. And someday you too will feel it. This is what I wish for you."