Page 4 of Seesaw Girl


  In the touch of the gentle hand on her hair, Jade felt forgiveness. But part of her was still uneasy. She turned her head and looked up into her mother's face.

  "Mother," she whispered.

  "Yes?"

  "This feeling that you speak of. Is it enough for your happiness?"

  Jade thought her mother looked sad for just a moment, but then her face was smooth again. "Yes, Jade," she answered. "I have learned to make it enough."

  Chapter Eleven

  Different Rules

  There was an eerie tension among the adults the next day. Jade noticed it at once. Her mother was stern and tightlipped at the morning meal, the aunts quiet and fearful. At first Jade thought it was because of her escape, but gradually she realized that it must be something more.

  Her father and uncles did not speak as Jade tiptoed among them serving their food, but that in itself was not unusual. It was considered bad manners to speak while eating. It was the heaviness of their silence that worried Jade, and the way her uncles kept stealing furtive glances at her father.

  The news of her escape could not have been the cause. It would have been equally poor manners for any of the men to show disapproval, for her punishment had been dealt with by her mother. It was not their business to concern themselves about her misdeed.

  Later that morning she met Tiger in the garden. Jade had so many questions for him that she hardly knew where to begin. The atmosphere that lay over the house made her whisper.

  "Brother, yesterday I saw some strange men being taken to the palace. They had broken the law, someone said." Jade swallowed nervously. "Who are these men? What did they do? Does it have something to do with our father?"

  Tiger Heart looked almost terrified. "Sister, these are truly not matters of your concern. You must not ask such questions."

  Jade was astonished. "Brother, I know it was wrong of me to leave the Inner Court. But surely you can tell me something about what I saw."

  Tiger looked around the garden as if someone might be listening. "Our father has told me a little of these matters, but I do not really understand. I know only that those men come from a land far, far from here. Their ship crashed into Cheju Island during a storm several months ago, and now they have been brought here for the King to decide their fate.

  "The sailors say that they were headed for Japan, but who knows if they are telling the truth. Perhaps they intended to come here all along. No such strangers have been allowed in Korea for nearly a hundred years. There are many in our King's court who are angry. They believe all such strangers should be killed.

  "But our father thinks it would be far better not to show fear of these men. He tells me that they might bring new ideas to Korea, and that perhaps we could learn from them.

  "Our father does not want such men to be killed. The King's court is in great disagreement now. No one knows what the King will decide."

  Jade shook her head in worry and bemusement. She was about to ask more questions when Tiger changed the subject abruptly. He informed her that the servant who had been driving the cart had been dismissed by their father.

  Jade looked aghast. "But Brother! It's not fair! It wasn't his fault—he didn't even know I was there!"

  Tiger looked at her sternly. In some way Jade felt that he had understood why she had attempted her escape, and he had not said one word against it—until now. "Jade, it is not your place to question the actions of our father."

  Jade's heart ached when she thought of how her rash plan had cost a man his job. She remembered how he had tried his best to cover her with the cloth, and realized that he must have felt doomed from the moment he laid eyes on her. She sighed, but for the moment her thoughts turned to something else.

  "Brother, the next time you go to the marketplace, I need you to do me a favor. Please give my share of sweets to the child of Chang the cabbage seller. His stall is the third on the right, and the child is the age of our brother, Mountain Wind."

  Tiger was exasperated. "Sister, don't you think this adventure should be behind you now?"

  "It is, Brother. But I made a promise, and I must keep it."

  Tiger relented. "Just this once. If I start handing out sweets, every urchin in town will be begging from me."

  It was not a compromise that satisfied Jade; she had planned to ask Tiger to give the child her share of sweets on a regular basis. She had had time to reflect on their encounter, and recalled how the child had made three sweets sound like a king's treasure.... Tiger brought her at least a dozen sweets at a time. The memory of the child's lively eyes and friendly manner had become one of the few highlights of her forlorn adventure. But Jade had still more questions.

  "Brother, when I was out on the road, I saw many women and girls. Are they always there? How is it that they leave their Inner Courts?"

  Tiger looked puzzled, then uncomfortable. "Their families are different," he mumbled.

  "Different? What do you mean? Don't they care that strange men see them all the time?"

  Tiger considered for a moment. "You know our servants. They live with us, and earn money, and once a year they go home to visit their own families."

  Jade sat still, trying hard to understand. She knew that the servants left once a year, at different times, depending on when they could most easily be spared from their work. The gardener left for several days during the winter. The cook left in the spring, during a stretch of time when there were no feast days. But Jade had never thought to wonder where they went when they left.

  "What does that have to do with the girls out there on the road?"

  "Jade, not everyone lives as we do. Those women and girls, their families are poor—even poorer than our servants. Everyone in their families has to work—"

  "Everyone? Even the girls?"

  "They live in a different way—they don't have the same rules—" Tiger stumbled over his words as he tried to explain.

  Jade thought some more about the people she had seen. She had not thought much of it then, but now she could remember their rough clothing, unkempt hair, and bare feet. And in her mind she had an image of Willow in her silk robes, carried aloft in her sedan chair, while behind her the little Chang child scrabbled for sweets in the dirt.

  Chapter Twelve

  A Humble Request

  Jade paused before the door of the finest room in the men's quarters. But she hesitated for only a moment, for she knew if she stood there any longer, she would lose her courage. She cleared her throat and called quietly.

  "Abu-ji?" Hoping from the outset to communicate her respect, Jade used the most formal word for "father," not the more affectionate Ah-pa.

  The paper door slid open. Jade's father, head of the Han household, stood in the doorway. Although, as always, his face showed no emotion, Jade thought that he looked very tired.

  "Good evening, Daughter. Have you eaten well?" He returned her greeting with equal formality.

  In truth, Jade did not know her father very well. It was the custom in noble families for the father to attend to his work and the family's financial matters, the mother to deal with the children and the household affairs. In recent years Tiger had seen a great deal of their father, as he was being groomed to become head of the household himself one day. But the other children—Jade and little Mountain Wind, her younger brother—were entrusted to their mother's care. On feast days and at other family celebrations their father might honor them with a small gift or perhaps tell them stories of the wonders of the King's court. Otherwise, the children left him to his business, and he left them to theirs.

  So it was with great trepidation that Jade had approached him that evening. She knew that what she had to say would not please him, and it would serve to remind him of her recent dishonorable behavior. But after two days and as many sleepless nights, she knew she no longer had a choice in the matter. She had to speak.

  "Yes, thank you, Father."

  "Please come in." Jade stepped into the room, and her father closed the do
or behind her.

  It was a beautiful room. The walls were hung with precious scrolls by the most famous of the country's writers and artists. A rare tiger-skin rug covered part of the floor. And in a specially made niche stood the wondrous ivory ball.

  She looked at it now, as she sat on the floor before her father's low table, and its familiar puzzle comforted her. Her own ivory ball was in her pocket, as a reminder of her father's rarely shown affection. She took a deep breath and bowed her head.

  "Honorable Father, I am sorry to disturb you this evening. But I have something to ask of you."

  Her father did not reply. He merely gestured with his hand for her to continue.

  "When I behaved so dishonorably the other day"—Jade kept her head bowed and did not look at her father—"I did so with no one else's knowledge. Servant Cho did not know that I was in the cart when he left the house."

  Jade paused. She had rehearsed her words many times in her head, but now she was coming to the most delicate part of her speech.

  Her father waited.

  "I do not question my honorable father's wisdom in his actions. But I humbly request that he allow Servant Cho back into our household. With your permission, I would like to explain why."

  Jade's father was silent. Unsure of what to do, Jade finally decided to take his silence as permission.

  "When Servant Cho saw me at the marketplace, he showed great concern for our family's honor. He ran into the marketplace at once and bought cloth to cover me. He made sure that I was hidden from the eyes of strange men all the way home. In every way he acted as a loyal servant to our family. I do not wish him to be punished for my mistake."

  That was all. It had taken Jade so long to find the words, and only a few seconds to say them. She could do nothing now but wait.

  After what felt like an eternity, her father spoke.

  "Right behavior is indeed important, Daughter. It is one of the Five Virtues. Your brother has been learning much about them. Right behavior, good form, wisdom, faith, and love. They are small words, but they hold all that is good about men."

  He rose to his feet. He fetched the ivory ball from its place on the shelf, seated himself again, and began turning the ball slowly in his hands as if studying it closely. But Jade could see that his thoughts were elsewhere.

  He started to speak, then hesitated. At last he seemed to make up his mind about something, and spoke. "You saw the men on the road the other day? The strangers?"

  "Yes, Father."

  "Those men, they do not believe in the Five Virtues. They speak of other laws, other kings, other lands. There are those who are angry that they should dare challenge Confucius' teachings, but our King wishes to understand these men. At his request I have spoken with them myself on many occasions. And though we have many differences, there are things about their laws that are in harmony with ours."

  Jade's father looked up from the ball, but his eyes were focused on some place or something not in the room. He continued to speak quietly. "I believe we have much to learn from each other. It is time for our people to look beyond our borders. We have kept to ourselves for too long."

  It was an uncharacteristically long speech—indeed, the greatest number of words Jade had ever heard her father speak. Suddenly he seemed to realize that she was still there; he glanced at her, replaced the ball carefully in its niche, and walked to the door. It was the signal that their meeting was at an end. Jade stood and bowed to her father.

  Her father nodded to her. As she prepared to leave, he said one more thing.

  "I do not forget, Daughter, that right behavior is only one of the Five Virtues."

  And the door closed behind her.

  Chapter Thirteen

  Royal Decisions

  It seemed to Jade that she would never find the chance to speak to Tiger alone. It had been several days since her escape and then her conversation with her father—days during which her father had spent most of his time at the palace. Some days he had not returned home at all.

  Yesterday had been a momentous day. The King had heard from all those at the court who wished to express an opinion on the fate of the prisoners. Jade was sure that her father would have been among those to speak, and she felt almost frantic with desire to learn what he had said.

  For the first time in his life Tiger had accompanied his father to the King's court. He had been among the crowd inside the palace walls; he had heard everything that had been said. But since his return in the evening Jade had not seen him except while she served the men and boys their meals.

  Late during the following afternoon Jade loitered about the men's quarters, hoping to catch Tiger coming or going. Her efforts were at last rewarded; when Tiger came out of his room, Jade stepped forward from a corner.

  "Brother! Please, can we talk for a moment?"

  Tiger did not look surprised to see her. "I was just coming to find you," he said. "Come, let's go for a walk in the garden."

  They walked in silence until they reached the little bridge and stood there together as dusk strengthened the shadows. Then Tiger Heart began to speak.

  "I am to tell you what I saw and heard yesterday, Jade," he said slowly. "It is our father who requests that I do so."

  Jade's surprise was so great that her body stiffened; her brother glanced at her quickly. "Our father has told me that, as you already know, these events are not the affairs of women. But he also knows what you saw that day, and he believes that unanswered curiosity can build a road to danger. I will tell you what I know."

  Jade nodded solemnly, grateful beyond words for her father's understanding.

  "First, you must picture this: The King sits on a throne at the head of a wide set of stairs. His guards and ministers stand or sit on either side of him. Anyone who wishes to address him comes to the foot of the stairs and speaks to him from there. The rest of the room is full of other people—junior ministers, scholars, royal retainers, servants. I was lucky; as we had arrived early, I had a position near the stairs. Otherwise, it is very difficult to hear.

  "Many people spoke. I cannot remember everything that they said, but it was easy enough to see that most of the court wanted the prisoners beheaded. Adviser after adviser spoke to the King about their insolence and treachery—that they say there are kingdoms far greater than our own, greater than China, even, and that our Five Virtues are not enough. They speak of ten laws, written in a little book they all carry. The advisers believe they are enemies of the worst kind.

  "All day long such men spoke. Believe me, Jade—being able to leave our household is not always a wonderful thing. There were times yesterday when I thought I would die of boredom." Tiger turned to her with a wry grin.

  But Jade was too anxious to respond to his gentle teasing. "Please, Brother, go on."

  Tiger grew sober again. "At last our father took his turn. He spoke for only a few minutes. And yet, what he said..." Tiger paused, deep in thought. "Perhaps it is only because he is my father, but I do not think so. His words had great power; you could see it in the faces of all who were there.

  "He began by speaking of the men. They were not a great army—just a few sailors. If they truly wanted to topple the King, would they have come here in such small numbers?

  "Then he spoke of the harm that grows from ignorance. We know very little about these men and their ways, he said. Supposing they are friends, it would be a terrible injustice to execute them. And if they are not, it is always best to know as much as possible about one's enemies. It would serve the King well to let these men live so that more could be learned from them.

  "Our father told the King that, as it now stands, we do not know enough. He finished by saying that the path to wisdom lies not in certainty, but in trying to understand."

  Tiger's voice had grown in strength as he spoke of his father's words. Jade had a sudden inkling of the future. One day, she realized, it would be Tiger who spoke before the King.

  Tiger continued, "After all had spoken,
the King withdrew to his chambers, to consult with his Council. Our father, as you know, is a member of the Council. It took a long time, but they finally reached a decision.

  "The men are not to be beheaded, nor will they be allowed to return to their homes. They must remain here in Korea and swear allegiance to the King. If they will do so, they will be given positions in the army and may live here freely.

  "Our father's desire was that these men be allowed to come nn and go as they please, between our country and theirs. He believes it is time for us to know more of the world. The King did not agree, but neither did he heed those who were calling for the men to be killed. His decision, Father says, walks in the middle of the path."

  Tiger Heart seemed to feel there had been enough serious talk. He finished by saying that the prisoners had been brought in to hear of the King's decision. "I know they are men, Jade, but from all the hair on their faces, you might think they were a kind of man-bear!"

  Jade smiled gratefully at him. For once she did not have to imagine something she had never seen.

  Chapter Fourteen

  A Mountain of Stitches

  Jade's mother inspected the small scrap of fabric carefully. On it Jade had stitched a many-petaled yellow-and-white chrysanthemum. It was the work of many painstaking days. Jade held her breath as her mother turned the scrap over. No knots or loose threads showed. The back and front were mirror-perfect.

  Jade's mother did not smile, but her eyes twinkled.

  "Yes, Jade. You are ready. You may begin your first panel."

  Jade let out her breath. An embroidered screen of many panels was one of the things a well-bred girl made for her wedding dowry. Only a few months ago it had seemed to Jade that her own wedding day was still far away. But Willow's marriage had changed all that. Jade tried not to think about the day that she would leave her home. She concentrated instead on the knowledge that being allowed to begin her screen was a sign that her embroidery skills had reached a high level indeed.