Chapter 16
Nick's POV
Well that could have been handled better. I commented mentally and then began to climb the stairs. Part of me wanted to stomp on them for the pain they had inflicted but I resisted in fear of having them collapse under me. “Daisy, at least hear me out.” I call out before realizing that I don’t exactly have anything to convince her with. All that I have has already been used in getting in. And I don’t really think I have something new to pull it off.
I get to the top of the stairs but pause before knocking. My mind is running rampant with reasons why I shouldn’t knock on the door and let her keep the ring. After all, it is the reason for her hope and that truth overpowers the possibility of it being her prison as well.
And then a new thought sneaks in. Do I really want her to go away? My mouth drops open as this thought summons the near-instantaneous response of a shouted mental ‘NO!’ If I can’t even convince myself that she needs to leave, how will I ever convince her?
The watch then chimes and I see that it is three in the morning now. Speak something, the still sane part of me – or is it insane? – urges me. This will give you some time to think of something. There’s no reason to be sure that her game still won’t lock you within once it is morning.
“Daisy,” I start softly. “I understand how you feel, though probably not to the extent you do. I think we both made it pretty clear that we have feelings towards each other. We both said that we loved each other and those are some pretty powerful claims to make since we haven’t even known for longer than this night so far and even then, we have spent some of it under the influence of other contradictory feelings.” I take a breath and wish under my breath that I get this next part out correctly.
“I don’t know if these claims we made are real or just elaborations on our liking for each other. I would like to believe that these are real. But what I do know is that, as much as I want otherwise, we don’t have more than the present to have each other. You ran, Daisy, because you don’t want to lose the sole reason of your hope. But did you think of me? Of what I am going through right now? It isn’t easy to even think of letting you go and here I have to try to convince you to leave while I still haven’t really accepted it.” My eyes go wide and my words stop as I realize what I just said. Idiot, that is not helpful at all!
“Maybe we would have been perfect,” I change the subject immediately so as to take away her focus from my own denial at letting her go. “Or maybe we wouldn’t have lasted a day. But there is no way to know. After all, you being dead kind of makes it hard to have a meaningful relationship. I would have loved you like I do now but there would always be a fear in my mind of losing you one day permanently. You would have cared for me too but it would still be possible that you might someday begin to wonder if I stayed with you not out of love but pity. We would have been perfect on the outside while hurting each other inside.” My mood turns downward as my mind begins to scream again at the nonsense I am yelling. “You cannot know Daisy how much I wish I had been born in your time. Perhaps then we would have been together in life.”
“Perhaps…” Daisy’s voice comes from the other side of the door and I realize that I am no longer standing with my hand stuck mid-air. Instead I am sitting on the dusty ground with my back to the door and from the sound, it seems she is too on the other side. Her voice is still scratchy as she continues. “But you wouldn’t have fit in my world. There’s a lot that makes you stand out. And isn’t that a bitter truth? We want to be together, if not for ever then at least until we were good for each other, but neither of us belong in other’s world.” She pauses and we are both quiet for a moment before she continues. “Or perhaps, you were indeed born in my time. And we did have feelings for each other. But we never spoke the words of declaration to each other.”
It isn’t difficult to guess where she’s going. “You think I was Samuel, princess?” I use his nickname for her as I try to tease her. “You aren’t sitting there and wondering if this is a love story of the ghost girl and her reincarnated love, are you? Because I hate to tell you this but I have no memories if I was this person.”
“No, that was wishful thinking that got this all started.” Daisy murmurs and though still a little low, I hear some joy in her voice. It’s easy as breathing to imagine her smiling at nothing while saying these words. Or perhaps she stares at the ring right this moment. “And we have both been falling down this crazy rabbit hole together.” She takes a pause and we again let the silence brew between us.
“So what now, Nick? Where do we go from here? We have both played games with each other, hurt each other, confessed out lives to each other and shouted at each other. And now we sit at the two opposite sides of this door, uncertain of what do we do now. Do you have any suggestions?”
“No, not really.” I speak up after some time of hard thinking. “I have no idea of where do we go, only that we cannot stay here forever.” I try to think of something to distract us and then remember something I had to say to her. “You know something. When I was standing in front of you when I re-entered, I realized that forever is a long time. But how we spend it is a matter of what emotion fills our strongest memory. Once, when I was young and naïve, I would have wished for it to be peace. But when I was outside, I somehow knew that regret would be my strongest emotion.”
“You have no idea how terrible it was to leave you in here. I don’t want you fade out, Daisy. I want you to go on, meet your family and George and friends, and then be reborn. I want you to live again and not be stuck in any prison. And this is why I asked you for this task. I realize it is near impossible for you but I just can’t see some other way.”
“Well you just want to press that sore nerve, do you?” She comments, not entirely unoffended. “You know so much of me, Nick, yet I know nothing of you. Tell me who you are and I will open the door to give you one last chance to convince me.”
“Well, I have never done this before, so do give me some time to think of what to say.” I speak, surprised at her offer. I am not at all sure of what to say and what not to but then I realize that it doesn’t matter what secrets I tell her. They will all be safe with her. “My name is Nick Demming Peters and I was born in Anastasia to Mary and John Peters on August 20, 1998. I have a little sister Amy and I am proud to admit that I love them all. I’m a little bullheaded and overcompetitive but I’m loyal to a fault. You could say that I am what people nowadays call a normal teenager. I’m petty, jealous and hotheaded teen who loves playing lacrosse, video games and hanging out with friends. I can get addicted to oily, unhealthy food and so rarely consume them.”
“I would ask you to describe yourself but over the ages, I have seen people always self-depricate so I won’t bother.” Daisy responds from the other side. “That’s all good and fine. No point in asking about trivial stuff that we won’t really care about. So tell me. What brought you to this point?”
I smile, acknowledging the point she made about useless details considering the amount of time we had. “It all started with a girl. My best friend Shane, the one you kicked out, liked a girl in our class and was too scared of her elder brother to ask her out.”
“So you asked her out and intended to send him in your place, didn’t you?” She interjected with a smile in her voice.
“It’s rude to interrupt.” I tried for a stern voice but I couldn’t help the pleasure in the way we thought of. “But yes. That is what was supposed to happen. Only Shane didn’t take it that way. And hence the bet.”
“To steal my ring?” She interrupted once again. There was no offense in her voice, only curiosity.
“The local lore was there lived a ghost girl in this house who had an exquisite necklace in this house. Two people had supposedly died in this place while looking for it. So my dare was to bring that necklace or stay the night. I was honestly too scared of the unknown ghost to brave the whole night.” I paused once again, expecting her to interrupt once again about how the death
was a myth but there’s only silence. “Daisy?”
The sob that comes out from the other side is a shock that stills every inch of me.
“It was an accident.” Daisy confesses through her tears and my heart stills as this new truth about her emerges. “I didn’t mean to cause that fire.” My heart aches to be with her, to comfort her. My mind is more critical, unable to comprehend what I am hearing.
Owing the victims the dignity of being remembered, I interrupt her and ask in a blank voice. “Who were they?” There’s no answer. Only Daisy’s sobs fill the place. And in that moment, I am conflicted about the door, unlike all the time before. Though previously I had just wanted it gone, I half want it to stay forever shut so I may never confront her while the other half of me want it to open so I can comfort her. My patience runs out though when she doesn’t respond for some time. This isn’t just about her. “Who were they?” I almost shout at the door, not even realizing when I turned around to stare at the door.
What comes first from the other side is a barely audible mumble. “I didn’t hear that Daisy. Speak louder.”
“I can’t. It’s too humiliating.” She repeats and I almost bang my head in frustration. “There’s no way to make this easy to speak, Nick. Please let this be.”
Oh, how hard I have to fight myself against taking that easy route, I can never confess to another soul. But still, at the pain in her voice, I hesitate. But as I just noted, it is not about us, is it? No, this is about the victims. “Tell me, Daisy, and let us get this over with.”
“There can be no getting over with this, Nick, and I will only tell you this much as my answer: They didn’t seek the necklace.” I still, unable to comprehend what they could have possibly sought in here.
“Don’t play games here, Daisy. Two people died.” I warn her but rather than getting this over with, it enrages her.
“Do you think this is a game to me? Two people died because of me and you think I am here playing games?” She yelled. “If this is what you think of me then you don’t deserve anything from me. I have told you all you need to know.” And with that, I feel her leave the other side of the door and move away from me, though I don’t know where.
“Great handling, Nick. Great handling.” I mutter to myself in frustration. There must be some part of my mind that must have been actively searching for the answer for I still as soon as I realize who they are.
“Oh, shit! What have I done?”