of the kids was a boy of around 3 years and his elder sister was around 6. The boy seemed like a pain in the neck. A bit like me when I was a kid. His sister on the other hand, seemed to be in love with that rotter. She played with him, told him stories and held him affectionately. The rotter was a jerk but. He would make a big scene when his elders told him to not play in the mud. When nothing worked, his sister pulled out her trump card- a packet of chips. The rotter's eyes were wide open now and he was greedily eyeing the packet. The sister was struggling to open the packet. After eventually opening it, she took a couple of chips in her hand and offered it to me. "Here Uncle, have some chips." she said sweetly. Though I was a bit offended at being called an Uncle I was touched by her offer and thanked her for the chips. The rotter was staring at her furiously for distributing the treasure to strangers. While she was handing me the chips, he had grabbed the packet and was guarding it close to his chest. He gave a few chips to the maid but refused to give any to his sister. The sister was trying to cajole him but to no avail. The maid offered some of her chips to the sister but she steadfastly refused even though I could see she was tempted to have one. I then heard her saying "We should offer it to everyone should we not". The punk responded by giving one more chip to the maid but none to his sister. I thought to myself "I really hope I have a daughter. Sons are nothing but punks and rotters"
The sister was then telling the maid "You know how the other children at school make fun of me. They say I am Ak Ak Ak Akshata. As if they are sneezing". The rotter had a sadistic smile on his face as if enjoying his sister's torment. That's when I decided that enough was enough and intervened. I approached the sister and said “Thanks again for the chips. And Akshata, you are a good girl". "Thank you Uncle" she replied shyly but happily. Then, with as much depth in my voice as I could muster I told the rotter "You should give some of those chips to your sister". The rotter turned from bully to pussy in front of authority and immediately offered a handful of chips to his sister. "That’s like a good boy" I replied and left from there. When I looked behind my shoulder, Akshata was happily putting chips into the mouth of that rotter.
I carried on my journey towards my home. It wasn't too far now. The bed and the book were beckoning. I was looking around carefully for another ambush from the ferocious dog but the surprise came from another source altogether. A cow and a smaller bull were galloping straight towards me!
"Woooooooooooooooo" I cried and jumped away in the nick of time while the cow and the bull passed me dangerously closely. The Cow and the Bull were excited because the smaller Bull was trying to hump the larger Cow. And the Cow was either not interested and was looking to avoid the Bull or it was trying to find a private spot in a hurry. The Bull was making repeated attempts to climb the Cow. The Bull's penis kept coming in and out and was sharp and pointed. It reminded me of a Swiss Knife I had seen. In and out. Sharp and pointed. "You bloody motherfucking Bull. That Cow is old enough to be your mother" I thought and proceeded towards home. I finally reached home and opened the gates to my apartment while warily checking for crazy creatures around the corner. It felt good to be home and to be alive and kicking.
Hahaha
"I am gonna have lots of fun with you my boy"
"Wha"
"Hahahaha. Oh yes, I am gonna have a good time all right"
"What are you talking about? Dint I just kill myself"
"Yes. You did. And that's why you are with me. Those who kill themselves end up with me. And that will teach you to have killed yourself"
"Is this life after death?"
"No. And it is neither heaven nor hell and neither is this judgment day. And nor am I a devil. Though I am something even worse. Haha haha hahahaha"
"Why am I here? My back really hurts"
"You my boy are going to be roasted and boiled like you did to all those eggs and meat. You are going to feel how they felt. Hahaha"
"But I was a vegetarian"
"Were you? Then I may not have done my homework properly. Then let’s look at your last days before you killed yourself so brutally. That would be fun, wouldn't it?"
"Why are you tormenting me?"
"Because I am a tormentor. You have just killed yourself. That’s where I come in. You have done a grave sin by killing yourself and cutting that soul's life short. I have to teach you a great lesson by tormenting you. And it gives me great pleasure to do so. Oh, don't give me that sad look. Come on, we haven't even started already"
"What are you going to do?"
"Now, my boy we have the privilege to watch your life backwards. I love doing this. This way I will get to know you better. Hahaha. Three days before you shot yourself in the head, you in your desperation to stave off your financial crisis, bought a lottery ticket. You checked out the results the next day, found out you had not won anything and then you continued being dejected with life, dint you my boy?"
"Yes"
"Hahahaha. Wouldn't it have been nice had you won the prize dear boy?"
"Ofcourse"
"Do you remember that before buying that lottery you met an old beggar in the street and you gave him some change"
"Yes"
"Well, my dearest boy, that nice little gesture of yours lost you a bunch of money. The person who bought the lottery ticket just before you did, won the lottery. Had you not spent that extra time giving money to that beggar, you would have got that winning ticket. Hahahahahahaha. And we would not have been here together Santosh my poor chap"
"Unbelievable. Fate raped me again"
"Hahahahahahaha. Funny! Isn't it boy? It is. It is. It is my boy"
"The first prize was 15 Crores. Even after paying my loan I would have had more than enough. I would have had a great life afterwards"
"Oh yes. Absolutely. Have to agree on that. Now let’s go further back into your life. When you were 16. You dated this girl for a few months, dint you boy"
"Yes. I remember her. Shweta her name was"
"Yes. She had killer herself too. And she had killed herself because of you Santosh"
"No, she did not. I dint do anything"
"Hahaha. Oh, you poor kid. You give me so much pleasure. Two weeks after you two stopped dating each other she killed herself. She even called you three days before she killed herself. Had you been considerate in that conversation she would have been saved. Instead, you shouted at her and told her to go to hell. Poor girl. She was so obedient. A few days after talking to you, to hell she straight went. And now she must be burning in hell. Hahahahahaha. Oh, am I funny. Hell, yes I am."
"I am sorry"
"Do you know why you dated her?"
"I liked her"
"No"
"She was beautiful"
"She was beautiful yes. But that's not why you dated her"
"She was caring"
"No my boy. It was because you were horny and stupid as well. Like any other kid your age. You cost that girl her life but. Do you want to know how she felt before she put fire to herself?"
"Yes"
"Now, that's an unusual answer. Most people attempt hitting me and screaming at me by this time. Nevertheless, your words please me immensely. You see that girl Santosh. There, about to light that fire. Let’s get into her head my boy"
"I am so ugly. So ugly. He hates me. I wore that pink dress when he ditched me. I used to think I look good in that dress. Oh, I am so worthless. I cannot make anyone happy. And nobody can make me happy. Ever. Never. Now light that fire. Now! ....."
"Hahahaha. My poor boy. You are not used to it. Are you not. It was brave of you to have faced this but this is not punishment enough for killing that girl"
"Why did she do...?”
"Befuddled you are Santosh. I have more news for you. There is more punishment in store for you. You can’t get away with it just like that my boy"
"Now what, I am ready to face it, whatever it is. I deserve the punishment for what I did to her"
"You think you are brave don't you boy. But you were not brave
enough to face that world of yours. And you ran away by killing yourself like a fool. Now listen. You think that wife of yours, whom you love so much, was working at office while you were shooting yourself in the head"
"Yes"
"Hahahahahaha. No she was not. She was having mind-blowing sex with her colleague Rajeev. The best sex of her life. Hahahahaha. Hahahahhahahahahahhahhahahahhahaahaha"
"Aaaah. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. Nooooooooooooo"
"What happened Santosh?"
"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah. No. No. No"
"Santosh. Look at me. It's ok. It's just a nightmare. Listen to me"
"Huh. What?"
"It was a nightmare Santosh. A bad dream while you were sleeping. It’s Ok Santosh. What is happening to you?"
"Yes Latha. It was a nightmare. Yes"
"What was the nightmare about? You seem so scared?"
"Nevermind Latha. Nevermind"
Roger's night out
Roger could not handle his drinks well. His head was swirling around and he was trying to make sense of the world. The hostess was talking kindly to him and was perhaps pointing at the dinner table. Maybe she had not realized that he was too drunk to understand he was drunk. "Ofcourse, my dear lady" giving her a smile which could mean anything but most probably did not mean anything. "Oh, what a pleasant Gentleman" thought the hostess. "He did not flirt with me and neither did he stare down my neck. Perhaps I should date him. A nice find!!" she thought while greeting her next guest.
Roger then proceeded to the drinks table. Not because he wanted another drink. He wanted to undrink himself. The