bartender was too used to drunks like himself. He pointed out the restroom to Roger. "Thanks my Lord. I will be damned if you are not Jeeves the Butler. You can solve anything. I wanted to undrink myself and you pointed out the restroom!" Roger said. He continued towards the restroom but he was stopped by an anaconda or what he thought was an anaconda. The anaconda seemed to have that Brazilian dirt still hanging around its crease. Now Roger was an immaculately dressed gentleman and could not afford to get his party shirt dirty. He shied away from the anaconda. The anaconda slithered away from Roger as if he was a snake charmer. Snake charmer? Maybe. Or perhaps he was just some uninteresting individual with whom the anaconda had no chance of having any fun. It is anybody's guess that it could have been due to Roger's spectacles which gave the impression that any moment Roger could begin a discourse on some lengthy but inconsequential philosophical debate which hardly anybody else is interested in. It may have been tolerable during normal times but is quite boring during party hours. Anyways, by all accounts, the anaconda just slithered away to its next destination leaving Roger behind to complete his toilet formalities.
Roger decided to take a walk in the park. He was hoping that people did not realize he was finding it difficult to walk in a straight path. He was also finding it difficult to spell things. In this state, he would definitely find it tough to pass the third grade exam. Second grade would have been a breeze but not the third one. He noticed a random stranger singing a song to himself. Roger felt a weird bonding with the random dude as they were fellow co-habitants of the park at that moment. Roger came close enough to the stranger to make sense of the wordings of the song. "Don’t ignore me just cause I am ignorant. Save me from me. I am warning you. It’s not best to leave it till it’s too late. Don’t ignore my warning just cause I am an ignorant" went the song. "Makes sense" Roger thought to himself. Quite proud of his analysis of this song, Roger decided he had enough of the walk and went inside to the party hall.
Roger was still an immaculately dressed gentleman sitting in a corner during the function. His brain wasn't functioning too well because he had had one drink too many. The thoughts were getting intertwined and intermingled with one another. He could feel it. He had a feeling that everyone around him thought he was going crazy. And he could not blame them completely either. He was losing control of his faculties. But he wasn't crazy yet and he was not ready to give up yet. Roger knew there was still one last chance for redemption. But he thought that he might be going crazy. He was thinking of the Arabs who weren't too well dressed themselves but they did not leave any opportunity of making fun of him. Rogie Rogie they cried. Roger the Dodger was his nickname. Then the music started. It was slow to begin with, but then it got slower and slower. It got smoother and more refined, like high quality whisky. It got more rhythmic and slower till it got really exhausting. Too exhausting to handle. Till he fell fast asleep, Roger did.
And when he woke up the next morning, he was sober again. Just a slight hangover and embarrassment of sleeping over at someone else's place without notice. After that, there was nothing to write home about. It was just the drudgery of normal sober life. Until the next party happened. But that's another story.
Him
He was giggling needlessly. He was not even feeling happy. In-fact he was feeling totally useless. The world felt he was too fucked up. Too neurotic. Too dopey. Too stupid. And the world was right in its own way. He was all that and more. He went to a friend's home to have a cup of tea. The tea was really good. He could taste the milk in the tea and if he wanted to he could just taste the tea powder. The bitterness of tea powder. The strange aftertaste it left after gulping down the tea. He could imagine the tea powder in his head. He smiled. It reminded him of similar looking things. Things that could stone you to death or worse. It was good shit anyways even though he did not know what it meant and did not know where it was taking him.
The next sip of the tea gave him an overpowering taste of sugar. Sugar reminded him of the world. The world was sugary sweet from the outside and full of alcohol from the inside. The world made him nauseous. The world and its society and its structures and its impediments and its smartness and its ugliness and he went on and on in his head. He was a bit dazed inspite of the tea. He went outside to have a walk in the park and to see if God was around. He was not sure if God existed but there was no harm in finding out. Instead he saw a butterfly. He started chasing it. The butterfly was really beautiful. Its wings kept fluttering on and on. The butterfly was whizzing around rather quickly but he could swear it was flapping its wings rather seductively. He noticed the world looking at him. They thought he was insane. He gave them an insane smile just to freak them out. Kids in and around the park were wondering why someone so old would be having so much fun. Grown-ups were not allowed to have fun. They have forsaken that right. That's the look the kids gave him. One of the kids gave a rather jealous look to him as his mum was around and was really screwing his happiness. He had a thought that the kid had become a grown-up already and must be having mundane thoughts already. Mundane thoughts the world has about success and achievement and all that shit that scares the fuck out of you. By which the world judges each and everyone around them. “I am more successful than him. He is such a loser. Haha". That is what the world generally used to think of him when they are around him. But when the world is around someone more successful than them they think "He is so wealthy and successful. He has 2 BMW's and makes a numerical amount of money. I suck" The world always thinks in numbers. In numbers and in objects and what they own. "What do you feel" he used to ask the world "Get away from me. I have all these numbers to achieve. I am not like you. I want to wake up in the morning. Unlike you. I want to do something. Unlike you" the world used to respond. "But what do you feel" he used to ask again. "Fuck you, you dimwit. You fucking retard. You stupid twit. I am judging you. Look into my eyes" Then he looked into their eyes. That used to scare the shit out of them for some reason. The world is full of liars and liars will not be able to see you in the eyes because they are freaking scared. Phony people used to say that eyes are the gateway to the soul. He believed the phony people had a point even though they did not even understand what they were talking about. Stupid and phony people are though less stupid than him. Freaking gateway to the fucking soul. People saying things they don’t even understand. People knowing things they do not even know. Yet the world was alright. They were too judgmental yes but they were alright as long as they left him alone. They were alright from afar. Their stupidity was contagious as one song used to say. But they were pretty ok otherwise. Trying to reach the goals they had set for themselves. Trying to make people happy. Trying to love and be loved. Most often they wanted to think of themselves as smart. Thinking themselves as smart was a common disease amongst all the mankind. He did not care for that shit at that moment. He was lost in his own world. The outside world did not seem to bother him too much. He giggled at the world and the world responded with a funny look which seemed to crack him up further. All that giggling had made him hungry. He went to the nearest restaurant around him and munched away to glory.
He was feeling happy. Nothing seemed to bother him at that moment. He knew he was going crazy but even that thought did not seem to bother him. He knew nobody would understand him either. The world was going through too much shit of their own to bother about other people’s shit and understand others. He carried on munching till the waiter gave him a weird look for eating so much. He gave a blissful look to the waiter and the waiter responded with a “Stay away” look. He stayed in the restaurant for hours together but eventually he started integrating with the world and was becoming just like them. He paid the bill, started to leave and was walking towards his home. Someone in the road gave him a brotherly smile but he could not care any less and walked away without responding. He wasn’t fucked up anymore. He had landed to the ground.
Raghav
"Do you want to play with me Mummy?" Raghav said.
"No not
now Raghav. I have so much work to do. It is your sister's wedding in a few days. Go play with your sister"
"OK" replied Raghav sadly. But the thought of playing with his sister interested him and he ran to her room excitedly.
"Please play cops and robbers with me na didi" he told his sister.
"Go away Raghav. Can’t you see that I talking on the phone?"
"But it’s been ages since you played anything with me"
"Really you are missing me. Me too. I am sorry but my baby brother is pestering me. Give me a minute. RAGHAV. Get out of the room. Sorry, what were you saying Tony"
Raghav ambled along slowly away from the room. His only option left in the house was his elder brother Raman. He expectantly went to the room of his brother hoping that his brother was in a good mood. Otherwise his brother was very nasty and would slap him if he acted naughty.
"Will you play with me Raman?"
"You are stinking. And you are wearing the same shirt and pant for the past 4 days. And look at your hands. They are so dirty". Raman slapped Raghav hard and said