LETTER XXIV
MR. LOVELACE, TO JOHN BELFORD, ESQ.HAMPSTEAD, FRIDAY NIGHT, JUNE 9.
Now, Belford, for the narrative of narratives. I will continue it as Ihave opportunity; and that so dexterously, that, if I break off twentytimes, thou shalt not discern where I piece my thread.
Although grievously afflicted with the gout, I alighted out of my chariot(leaning very hard on my cane with one hand, and on my new servant'sshoulder with the other) the same instant almost that he had knocked atthe door, that I might be sure of admission into the house.
I took care to button my great coat about me, and to cover with it eventhe pummel of my sword, it being a little too gay for my years. I knewnot what occasion I might have for my sword. I stooped forward; blinkedwith my eyes to conceal their lustre (no vanity in saying that, Jack); mychin wrapt up for the tooth-ache; my slouched, laced hat, and so much ofmy wig as was visible, giving me, all together, the appearance of anantiquated beau.
My wife, I resolved beforehand, should have a complication of disorders.
The maid came to the door. I asked for her mistress. She showed me intoone of the parlours; and I sat down with a gouty Oh!--
ENTER GOODY MOORE.
Your servant, Madam--but you must excuse me; I cannot well stand--I findby the bill at the door, that you have lodgings to let [mumbling my wordsas if, like my man Will., I had lost some of my fore-teeth]: be pleasedto inform me what they are; for I like your situation--and I will tellyou my family--I have a wife, a good old woman--older than myself, by theway, a pretty deal. She is in a bad state of health, and is advised intothe Hampstead air. She will have two maid servants and a footman. Thecoach or chariot (I shall not have them put up both together) we can putup any where, and the coachman will be with his horses.
When, Sir, shall you want to come in?
I will take them from this very day; and, if convenient, will bring mywife in the afternoon.
Perhaps, Sir, you would board, as well as lodge?
That as you please. It will save me the trouble of bringing my cook, ifwe do. And I suppose you have servants who know how to dress a couple ofdishes. My wife must eat plain food, and I don't love kickshaws.
We have a single lady, who will be gone in two or three days. She hasone of the best apartments: that will then be at liberty.
You have one or two good ones mean time, I presume, Madam, just toreceive my wife; for we have lost time--these damn'd physicians--excuseme, Madam, I am not used to curse; but it is owing to the love I have formy wife--they have kept her in hand, till they are ashamed to take morefees, and now advise her to the air. I wish we had sent her hither atfirst. But we must now make the best of it.
Excuse me, Madam, [for she looked hard at me,] that I am muffled up inthis warm weather. I am but too sensible that I have left my chambersooner that I ought, and perhaps shall have a return of my gout for it.I came out thus muffled up with a dreadful pain in my jaws; an ague inthem, I believe. But my poor dear will not be satisfied with any body'scare but mine. And, as I told thee, we have lost time.
You shall see what accommodations I have, if you please, Sir. But Idoubt you are too lame to walk up stairs.
I can make shift to hobble up now I have rested a little. I'll just lookupon the apartment my wife is to have. Any thing may do for theservants: and as you seem to be a good sort of gentlewoman, I shan'tstand for a price, and will pay well besides for the trouble I shallgive.
She led the way; and I, helping myself by the banisters, made shift toget up with less fatigue than I expected from ancles so weak. But oh!Jack, what was Sixtus the Vth.'s artful depression of his natural powersto mine, when, as this half-dead Montalto, he gaped for the pretendedlyunsought pontificate, and the moment he was chosen leapt upon theprancing beast, which it was thought by the amazed conclave he was notable to mount, without help of chairs and men? Never was there a morejoyful heart and lighter heels than mine joined together; yet both deniedtheir functions; the one fluttering in secret, ready to burst its barsfor relief-ful expression, the others obliged to an hobbling motion;when, unrestrained, they would, in their master's imagination, havemounted him to the lunar world without the help of a ladder.
There were three rooms on a floor: two of them handsome; and the third,she said, still handsomer; but the lady was in it.
I saw, I saw she was! for as I hobbled up, crying out upon my weakancles, in the hoarse mumbling voice I had assumed, I beheld a littlepiece of her as she just cast an eye (with the door a-jar, as they callit) to observe who was coming up; and, seeing such an old clumsy fellow,great coated in weather so warm, slouched and muffled up, she withdrew,shutting the door without any emotion. But it was not so with me; forthou canst not imagine how my heart danced to my mouth, at the veryglimpse of her; so that I was afraid the thump, thump, thumping villain,which had so lately thumped as much to no purpose, would have choked me.
I liked the lodging well; and the more as she said the third room wasstill handsomer. I must sit down, Madam, [and chose the darkest part ofthe room]: Won't you take a seat yourself?--No price shall part us--but Iwill leave the terms to you and my wife, if you please. And also whetherfor board or not. Only please to take this for earnest, putting a guineainto her hand--and one thing I will say; my poor wife loves money; but isnot an ill-natured woman. She was a great fortune to me: but, as the realestate goes away at her death, I would fain preserve her for that reason,as well as for the love I bear her as an honest man. But if she makestoo close a bargain with you, tell me; and, unknown to her, I will makeit up. This is my constant way: she loves to have her pen'orths; and Iwould not have her vexed or made uneasy on any account.
She said, I was a very considerate gentleman; and, upon the condition Ihad mentioned, she was content to leave the terms to my lady.
But, Madam, cannot a body just peep into the other apartment; that I maybe more particular to my wife in the furniture of it?
The lady desires to be private, Sir--but--and was going to ask her leave.
I caught hold of her arm--However, stay, stay, Madam: it mayn't beproper, if the lady loves to be private. Don't let me intrude upon thelady--
No intrusion, Sir, I dare say: the lady is good-humoured. She will be sokind as to step down into the parlour, I dare say. As she stays solittle a while, I am sure she will not wish to stand in my way.
No, Madam, that's true, if she be good-humoured, as you say--Has she beenwith you long, Madam?
She came but yesterday, Sir--
I believe I just now saw the glimpse of her. She seems to be an elderlylady.
No, Sir! you're mistaken. She's a young lady; and one of the handsomestI ever saw.
Cot so, I beg her pardon! Not but that I should have liked her thebetter, were she to stay longer, if she had been elderly. I have astrange taste, Madam, you'll say; but I really, for my wife's sake, loveevery elderly woman. Indeed I ever thought age was to be reverenced,which made me (taking the fortune into the scale too, that I own) make myaddresses to my present dear.
Very good of you, Sir, to respect age: we all hope to live to be old.
Right, Madam.--But you say the lady is beautiful. Now you must know,that though I choose to converse with the elderly, yet I love to see abeautiful young woman, just as I love to see fine flowers in a garden.There's no casting an eye upon her, is there, without her notice? For inthis dress, and thus muffled up about my jaws, I should not care to beseen any more than she, let her love privacy as much as she will.
I will go and ask if I may show a gentleman the apartment, Sir; and, asyou are a married gentleman, and not over young, she'll perhaps make theless scruple.
Then, like me, she loves elderly folks best perhaps. But it may be shehas suffered by young ones.
I fancy she has, Sir, or is afraid she shall. She desired to be veryprivate; and if by description inquired after, to be denied.
Thou art a true woman, goody Moore, thought I.
Good lac
k--good lack!--What may be her story then, I pray?
She is pretty reserved in her story: but, to tell you my thoughts, Ibelieve love is in the case: she is always in tears, and does not muchcare for company.
Nay, Madam, it becomes not me to dive into ladies' secrets; I want not topry into other people's affairs. But, pray, how does she employherself?--Yet she came but yesterday; so you can't tell.
Writing continually, Sir.
These women, Jack, when you ask them questions by way of information,don't care to be ignorant of any thing.
Nay, excuse me, Madam, I am very far from being an inquisitive man. Butif her case be difficult, and not merely love, as she is a friend ofyour's, I would give her my advice.
Then you are a lawyer, Sir--
Why, indeed, Madam, I was some time at the bar; but I have long leftpractice; yet am much consulted by my friends in difficult points. In apauper case I frequently give money; but never take any from the richest.
You are a very good gentleman, then, Sir.
Ay, Madam, we cannot live always here; and we ought to do what good wecan--but I hate to appear officious. If the lady stay any time, andthink fit, upon better acquaintance, to let me into her case, it may be ahappy day for her, if I find it a just one; for, you must know, that whenI was at the bar, I never was such a sad fellow as to undertake, for thesake of a paltry fee, to make white black, and black white: For whatwould that have been, but to endeavour to establish iniquity by quirks,while I robbed the innocent?
You are an excellent gentleman, Sir: I wish [and then she sighed] I hadhad the happiness to know there was such a lawyer in the world; and tohave been acquainted with him.
Come, come, Mrs. Moore, I think your name is, it may not be too late--when you and I are better acquainted, I may help you perhaps.--Butmention nothing of this to the lady: for, as I said, I hate to appearofficious.
This prohibition, I knew, if goody Moore answered the specimen she hadgiven of her womanhood, would make her take the first opportunity totell, were it to be necessary to my purpose that she should.
I appeared, upon the whole, so indifferent about seeing the room, or thelady, that the good woman was the more eager I should see both. And therather, as I, to stimulate her, declared, that there was more required inmy eye to merit the character of a handsome woman, than most peoplethought necessary; and that I had never seen six truly lovely women in mylife.
To be brief, she went in; and after a little while came out again. Thelady, Sir, is retired to her closet. So you may go in and look at theroom.
Then how my heart began again to play its pug's tricks!
I hobbled in, and stumped about, and liked it very much; and was sure mywife would. I begged excuse for sitting down, and asked, who was theminister of the place? If he were a good preacher? Who preached at theChapel? And if he were a good preacher, and a good liver too, Madam--Imust inquire after that: for I love, but I must needs say, that theclergy should practise what they preach.
Very right, Sir; but that is not so often the case as were to be wished.
More's the pity, Madam. But I have a great veneration for the clergy ingeneral. It is more a satire upon human nature than upon the cloth, ifwe suppose those who have the best opportunities to do good, less perfectthan other people. For my part, I don't love professional any more thannational reflections.--But I keep the lady in her closet. My gout makesme rude.
Then up from my seat stumped I--what do you call these window-curtains,Madam?
Stuff-damask, Sir.
It looks mighty well, truly. I like it better than silk. It is warmerto be sure, and much fitter for lodgings in the country; especially forpeople in years. The bed is in a pretty state.
It is neat and clean, Sir: that's all we pretend to.
Ay, mighty well--very well--a silk camblet, I think--very well, truly!--Iam sure my wife will like it. But we would not turn the lady out of herlodgings for the world. The other two apartments will do for us atpresent.
Then stumping towards the closet, over the door of which hung apicture--What picture is that--Oh! I see; a St. Cecilia!
A common print, Sir!
Pretty well, pretty well! It is after an Italian master.--I would notfor the world turn the lady out of her apartment. We can make shift withthe other two, repeated I, louder still: but yet mumblingly hoarse: for Ihad as great regard to uniformity in accent, as to my words.
O Belford! to be so near my angel, think what a painful constraint I wasunder.
I was resolved to fetch her out, if possible: and pretending to begoing--you can't agree as to any time, Mrs. Moore, when we can have thisthird room, can you?--Not that [whispered I, loud enough to be heard inthe next room; not that] I would incommode the lady: but I would tell mywife when abouts--and women, you know, Mrs. Moore, love to have everything before them of this nature.
Mrs. Moore (said my charmer) [and never did her voice sound so harmoniousto me: Oh! how my heart bounded again! It even talked to me, in amanner; for I thought I heard, as well as felt, its unruly flutters; andevery vein about me seemed a pulse; Mrs. Moore] you may acquaint thegentleman, that I shall stay here only for two or three days at most,till I receive an answer to a letter I have written into the country; andrather than be your hindrance, I will take up with any apartment a pairof stairs higher.
Not for the world!--Not for the world, young lady! cried I.--My wife, asI love her, should lie in a garret, rather than put such a considerateyoung lady, as you seem to be, to the least inconveniency.
She opened not the door yet; and I said, but since you have so muchgoodness, Madam, if I could but just look into the closet as I stand, Icould tell my wife whether it is large enough to hold a cabinet she muchvalues, and ill have with her wherever she goes.
Then my charmer opened the door, and blazed upon me, as it were, in aflood of light, like what one might imagine would strike a man, who, bornblind, had by some propitious power been blessed with his sight, all atonce, in a meridian sun.
Upon my soul, I never was so strangely affected before. I had much adoto forbear discovering myself that instant: but, hesitatingly, and ingreat disorder, I said, looking into the closet and around it, there isroom, I see, for my wife's cabinet; and it has many jewels in it of highprice; but, upon my soul, [for I could not forbear swearing, like apuppy: habit is a cursed thing, Jack--] nothing so valuable as a lady Isee, can be brought into it.
She started, and looked at me with terror. The truth of the compliment,as far as I know, had taken dissimulation from my accent.
I saw it was impossible to conceal myself longer from her, any more than(from the violent impulses of my passion) to forbear manifesting myself.I unbuttoned therefore my cape, I pulled off my flapt slouched hat; Ithrew open my great coat, and, like the devil in Milton [an oddcomparison though!]--
I started up in my own form divine, Touch'd by the beam of her celestial eye, More potent than Ithuriel's spear!--
Now, Belford, for a similitude--now for a likeness to illustrate thesurprising scene, and the effect it had upon my charmer, and thegentlewoman!--But nothing was like it, or equal to it. The plain factcan only describe it, and set it off--thus then take it.
She no sooner saw who it was, than she gave three violent screams; and,before I could catch her in my arms, (as I was about to do the moment Idiscovered myself,) down she sunk at my feet in a fit; which made mecurse my indiscretion for so suddenly, and with so much emotion,revealing myself.
The gentlewoman, seeing so strange an alteration in my person, andfeatures, and voice, and dress, cried out, Murder, help! murder, help! byturns, for half a dozen times running. This alarmed the house, and upran two servant maids, and my servant after them. I cried out for waterand hartshorn, and every one flew a different way, one of the maids asfast down as she came up; while the gentlewoman ran out of one room intoanother, and by turns up and down the apartment we were in, withoutmeaning or end, wringing her foolish hands, and no
t knowing what she did.
Up then came running a gentleman and his sister, fetched, and brought inby the maid, who had run down, and having let in a cursed crabbed oldwretch, hobbling with his gout, and mumbling with his hoarsebroken-toothed voice, who was metamorphosed all at once into a lively,gay young fellow, with a clear accent, and all his teeth, she would haveit, that I was neither more nor less than the devil, and could not keepher eye from my foot, expecting, no doubt, every minute to see itdiscover itself to be cloven.
For my part, I was so intent upon restoring my angel, that I regardednobody else. And, at last, she slowly recovering motion, with bittersighs and sobs, (only the whites of her eyes however appearing for somemoments,) I called upon her in the tenderest accent, as I kneeled by her,my arm supporting her head, My angel! my charmer! my Clarissa! look uponme, my dearest life!--I am not angry with you; I will forgive you, mybest beloved.
The gentleman and his sister knew not what to make of all this: and theless, when my fair-one, recovering her sight, snatched another look atme; and then again groaned, and fainted away.
I threw up the closet-sash for air, and then left her to the care of theyoung gentlewoman, the same notable Miss Rawlins, who I had heard of atthe Flask: and to that of Mrs. Moore; who by this time had recoveredherself; and then retiring to one corner of the room, I made my servantpull off my gouty stockings, brush my hat, and loop it up into the usualsmart cock.
I then stept to the closet to Mr. Rawlins, whom, in the generalconfusion, I had not much minded before.--Sir, said I, you have anuncommon scene before you. The lady is my wife, and no gentleman'spresence is necessary here but my own.
I beg pardon, Sir; if the lady be your wife, I have no business here.But, Sir, by her concern at seeing you--
Pray, Sir, none of your if's and but's, I beseech you: nor your concernabout the lady's concern. You are a very unqualified judge in thiscause; and I beg of you, Sir, to oblige me with your absence. The womenonly are proper to be present on this occasion, added I; and I thinkmyself obliged to them for their care and kind assistance.
'Tis well he made not another word: for I found my choler begin to rise.I could not bear, that the finest neck, and arms, and foot, in the world,should be exposed to the eyes of any man living but mine.
I withdrew once more from the closet, finding her beginning to recover,lest the sight of me too soon should throw her back again.
The first words she said, looking round her with great emotion, were, Oh!hide me, hide me! Is he gone?--Oh! hide me!--Is he gone?
Sir, said Miss Rawlins, coming to me with an air both peremptory andassured, This is some surprising case. The lady cannot bear the sight ofyou. What you have done is best known to yourself. But another such fitwill probably be her last. It would be but kind therefore for you toretire.
It behoved me to have so notable a person of my party; and the rather asI had disobliged her impertinent brother.
The dear creature, said I, may well, be concerned to see me. If you,Madam, had a husband who loved you as I love her, you would not, I amconfident, fly from him, and expose yourself to hazards, as she doeswhenever she has not all her way--and yet with a mind not capable ofintentional evil--but mother-spoilt!--This is her fault, and all herfault: and the more inexcusable it is, as I am the man of her choice, andhave reason to think she loves me above all the men in the world.
Here, Jack, was a story to support to the lady; face to face too!*
* And here, Belford, lest thou, through inattention, should be surprisedat my assurance, let me remind thee (and that, thus, by way of marginalobservation, that I may not break in upon my narrative) that this myintrepidity concerted (as I have from time to time acquainted thee) inapprehension of such an event as has fallen out. For had not the dearcreature already passed for my wife before no less than four worthygentlemen of family and fortune?** and before Mrs. Sinclair, and herhousehold, and Miss Partington? And had she not agreed to her uncle'sexpedient, that she should pass for such, from the time of Mr. Hickman'sapplication to that uncle;*** and that the worthy Capt. Tomlinson shouldbe allowed to propagate that belief: as he had actually reported to twofamilies (they possibly to more); purposely that it might come to theears of James Harlowe; and serve for a foundation for uncle John to buildhis reconciliation-scheme upon? And canst thou think that nothing wasmeant by all this contrivance? and that I am not still further preparedto support my story?
** See Vol. IV. Letter IV. towards the conclusion.*** Ibid. Letter XVI. Ibid.
Indeed, I little thought, at the time that I formed these precautionaryschemes, that she would ever have been able, if willing, to get out of myhands. All that I hoped I should have occasion to have recourse to themfor, was only, in case I should have the courage to make the grandattempt, and should succeed in it, to bring the dear creature [and thisout of tenderness to her, for what attention did I ever yet pay to thegrief, the execrations, the tears of a woman I had triumphed over?] tobear me in her sight: to expostulate with me, to be pacified by my pleas,and by my own future hopes, founded upon the reconciliatory-project, uponmy reiterated vows, and upon the Captain's assurances. Since in thatcase, to forgive me, to have gone on with me, for a week, would have beento forgive me, to have gone on with me, for ever. And that, had myeligible life of honour taken place, her trials would all have been thenover: and she would have known nothing but gratitude, love, and joy, tothe end of one of our lives. For never would I, never could I, haveabandoned such an admirable creature as this. Thou knowest I never was asordid villain to any of her inferiors--Her inferiors, I may say--For whois not her inferior?
You speak like a gentleman; you look like a gentleman, said MissRawlins--but, Sir, this is a strange case; the lady sees to dread thesight of you.
No wonder, Madam; taking her a little on one side, nearer to Mrs. Moore.I have three times already forgiven the dear creature--but this isjealousy!--There is a spice of that in it--and of phrensy too [whisperedI, that it might have the face of a secret, and of consequence the moreengage their attention]--but our story is too long.
I then made a motion to go to my beloved. But they desired that I wouldwalk into the next room; and they would endeavour to prevail upon her tolie down.
I begged that they would not suffer her to talk; for that she wasaccustomed to fits, and, when in this way, would talk of any thing thatcame uppermost: and the more she was suffered to run on, the worse shewas; and if not kept quiet, would fall into ravings: which might possiblyhold her a week.
They promised to keep her quiet; and I withdrew into the next room;ordering every one down but Mrs. Moore and Miss Rawlins.
She was full of exclamations! Unhappy creature! miserable! ruined! andundone! she called herself; wrung her hands, and begged they would assisther to escape from the terrible evils she should otherwise be made tosuffer.
They preached patience and quietness to her; and would have had her tolie down: but she refused; sinking, however, into an easy chair; for shetrembled so she could not stand.
By this time, I hoped, that she was enough recovered to bear a presencethat it behoved me to make her bear; and fearing she would throw outsomething in her exclamations, that would still more disconcert me, Iwent into the room again.
O there he is! said she, and threw her apron over her face--I cannot seehim!--I cannot look upon him!--Begone, begone! touch me not!--
For I took her struggling hand, beseeching her to be pacified; andassuring her, that I would make all up with her upon her own terms andwishes.
Base man! said the violent lady, I have no wishes, but never to beholdyou more! Why must I be thus pursued and haunted? Have you not made memiserable enough already?--Despoiled of all succour and help, and ofevery friend, I am contented to be poor, low, and miserable, so I maylive free from your persecutions.
Miss Rawlins stared at me [a confident slut this Miss Rawlins, thoughtI]: so did Mrs. Moore. I told you so! whispering said I, turning to thewomen; shaking my head with a
face of great concern and pity; and then tomy charmer, My dear creature, how you rave! You will not easily recoverfrom the effects of this violence. Have patience, my love. Be pacified;and we will coolly talk this matter over: for you expose yourself, aswell as me: these ladies will certainly think you have fallen amongrobbers, and that I am the chief of them.
So you are! so you are! stamping, her face still covered [she thought ofWednesday night, no doubt]; and, sighing as if her heart were breaking,she put her hand to her forehead--I shall be quite distracted!
I will not, my dearest love, uncover your face. You shall not look uponme, since I am so odious to you. But this is a violence I never thoughtyou capable of.
And I would have pressed her hand, as I held it, with my lips; but shedrew it from me with indignation.
Unhand me, Sir, said she. I will not be touched by you. Leave me to myfate. What right, what title, have you to persecute me thus?
What right, what title, my dear!--But this is not a time--I have a letterfrom Captain Tomlinson--here it is--offering it to her--
I will receive nothing from your hands--tell me not of CaptainTomlinson--tell me not of any body--you have no right to invade me thus--once more leave me to my fate--have you not made me miserable enough?
I touched a delicate string, on purpose to set her in such a passionbefore the women, as might confirm the intimation I had given of aphrensical disorder.
What a turn is here!--Lately so happy--nothing wanting but areconciliation between you and your friends!--That reconciliation in sucha happy train--shall so slight, so accidental an occasion be suffered tooverturn all our happiness?
She started up with a trembling impatience, her apron falling from herindignant face--now, said she, that thou darest to call the occasionslight and accidental, and that I am happily out of thy vile hands, andout of a house I have reason to believe as vile, traitor and wretch asthou art, I will venture to cast an eye upon thee--and Oh! that it werein my power, in mercy to my sex, to look thee first into shame andremorse, and then into death!
This violent tragedy-speech, and the high manner in which she uttered it,had its desired effect. I looked upon the women, and upon her by turns,with a pitying eye; and they shook their wise heads, and besought me toretire, and her to lie down to compose herself.
This hurricane, like other hurricanes, was presently allayed by a shower.She threw herself once more into her armed chair, and begged pardon ofthe women for her passionate excess; but not of me: yet I was in hopes,that when compliments were stirring, I should have come in for a share.
Indeed, Ladies, said I, [with assurance enough, thou'lt say,] thisviolence is not natural to my beloved's temper--misapprehension--
Misapprehension, wretch!--And want I excuses from thee!
By what a scorn was every lovely feature agitated!
Then turning her face from me, I have not patience, O thou guilefulbetrayer, to look upon thee! Begone! Begone! With a face sounblushing, how darest thou appear in my presence?
I thought then, that the character of a husband obliged me to be angry.
You may one day, Madam, repent this treatment:--by my soul, you may. Youknow I have not deserved it of you--you know--I have not.
Do I know you have not?--Wretch! Do I know--
You do, Madam--and never did man of my figure and consideration, [Ithought it was proper to throw that in] meet with such treatment--
She lifted up her hands: indignation kept her silent.
But all is of a piece with the charge you bring against me of despoilingyou of all succour and help, of making you poor and low, and with otherunprecedented language. I will only say, before these two gentlewomen,that since it must be so, and since your former esteem for me is turnedinto so riveted an aversion, I will soon, very soon, make you entirelyeasy. I will be gone:--I will leave you to your own fate, as you callit; and may that be happy!--Only, that I may not appear to be a spoiler,a robber indeed, let me know whither I shall send your apparel, and everything that belongs to you, and I will send it.
Send it to this place; and assure me, that you will never molest me more;never more come near me; and that is all I ask of you.
I will do so, Madam, said I, with a dejected air. But did I ever think Ishould be so indifferent to you?--However, you must permit me to insiston your reading this letter; and on your seeing Captain Tomlinson, andhearing what he has to say from your uncle. He will be here by-and-by.
Don't trifle with me, said she in an imperious tone--do as you offer. Iwill not receive any letter from your hands. If I see Captain Tomlinson,it shall be on his own account, not on your's. You tell me you will sendme my apparel--if you would have me believe any thing you say, let thisbe the test of your sincerity.--Leave me now, and send my things.
The women started.--They did nothing but stare; and appeared to be moreand more at a loss what to make of the matter between us.
I pretended to be going from her in a pet; but, when I had got to thedoor, I turned back; and, as if I had recollected myself--One word more,my dearest creature!--Charming, even in your anger!--O my fond soul! saidI, turning half round, and pulling out my handkerchief.--
I believe, Jack, my eyes did glisten a little. I have no doubt but theydid. The women pitied me--honest souls! They showed they had each ofthem a handkerchief as well as I. So, has thou not observed (to give afamiliar illustration,) every man in a company of a dozen, or more,obligingly pull out his watch, when some one has asked what's o'clock?--As each man of a like number, if one talks of his beard, will fall tostroking his chin with his four fingers and thumb.
One word only, Madam, repeated I, (as soon as my voice had recovered itstone,) I have represented to Captain Tomlinson in the most favourablelight the cause of our present misunderstanding. You know what youruncle insists upon, and with which you have acquiesced.--The letter in myhand, [and again I offered it to her,] will acquaint you with what youhave to apprehend from your brother's active malice.
She was going to speak in a high accent, putting the letter from her,with an open palm--Nay, hear me out, Madam--The Captain, you know, hasreported our marriage to two different persons. It is come to yourbrother's ears. My own relations have also heard of it.--Letters werebrought me from town this morning, from Lady Betty Lawrance, and MissMontague. Here they are. [I pulled them out of my pocket, and offeredthem to her, with that of the Captain; but she held back her still openpalm, that she might not receive them.] Reflect, Madam, I beseech you,reflect upon the fatal consequences with which this, your highresentment, may be attended.
Ever since I knew you, said she, I have been in a wilderness of doubtand error. I bless God that I am out of your hands. I will transact formyself what relates to myself. I dismiss all your solicitude for me.--Am I not my own mistress?--Have you any title?--
The women stared--[the devil stare ye, thought I!--Can ye do nothing butstare?]--It was high time to stop her here.
I raised my voice to drown her's.--You used, my dearest creature, to havea tender and apprehensive heart.--You never had so much reason for such aone as now.
Let me judge for myself, upon what I shall see, not upon what I shallhear.--Do you think I shall ever?--
I dreaded her going on--I must be heard, Madam, (raising my voice stillhigher,)--you must let me read one paragraph or two out of this letter toyou, if you will not read it yourself--
Begone from me, Man!--Begone from me with thy letters! What pretencehast thou for tormenting me thus? What right?--What title?--
Dearest creature! what questions you ask!--Questions that you can as wellanswer yourself--
I can, I will, and thus I answer them--
Still louder I raised my voice.--She was overborne.--Sweet soul! Itwould be hard, thought I, [and yet I was very angry with her,] if such aspirit as thine cannot be brought to yield to such a one as mine!
I lowered my voice on her silence. All gentle, all intreative, myaccent. My head bowed--one hand held out-
-the other on my honest heart.--For heaven's sake, my dearest creature, resolve to see CaptainTomlinson with temper. He would have come along with me, but I waswilling to try to soften your mind first on this fatal misapprehension,and this for the same of your own wishes. For what is it otherwise tome, whether your friends are, or are not, reconciled to us?--Do I wantany favour from them?--For your own mind's sake, therefore, frustrate notCaptain Tomlinson's negociation. That worthy gentleman will be here inthe afternoon; Lady Betty will be in town, with my cousin Montague, in aday or two.--They will be your visiters. I beseech you do not carry thismisunderstanding so far, as that Lord M. and Lady Betty, and Lady Sarah,may know it. [How considerable this made me look to the women!] LadyBetty will not let you rest till you consent to accompany her to her ownseat--and to that lady may you safely intrust your cause.
Again, upon my pausing a moment, she was going to break out. I liked notthe turn of her countenance, nor the tone of her voice--'And thinkestthou, base wretch,' were the words she did utter: I again raised myvoice, and drowned her's.--Base wretch, Madam?--You know that I have notdeserved the violent names you have called me. Words so opprobrious froma mind so gentle!--But this treatment is from you, Madam?--From you, whomI love more than my own soul!--By that soul, I swear that I do.--[Thewomen looked upon each other--they seemed pleased with my ardour.--Women,whether wives, maids, or widows, love ardours: even Miss Howe, thouknowest, speaks up for ardours,*]--Nevertheless, I must say, that youhave carried matters too far for the occasion. I see you hate me--
* See Vol. IV. Letters XXIX. and XXXIV.
She was just going to speak--If we are to separate for ever, in a strongand solemn voice, proceeded I, this island shall not long be troubledwith me. Mean time, only be pleased to give these letters a perusal, andconsider what is to be said to your uncle's friend, and what he is to sayto your uncle.--Any thing will I come into, (renounce me, if you will,)that shall make for your peace, and for the reconciliation your heart wasso lately set upon. But I humbly conceive, that it is necessary that youshould come into better temper with me, were it but to give a favourableappearance to what has passed, and weight to any future application toyour friends, in whatever way you shall think proper to make it.
I then put the letters into her lap, and retired into the next apartmentwith a low bow, and a very solemn air.
I was soon followed by the two women. Mrs. Moore withdrew to give thefair perverse time to read them: Miss Rawlins for the same reason, andbecause she was sent for home.
The widow besought her speedy return. I joined in the same request; andshe was ready enough to promise to oblige us.
I excused myself to Mrs. Moore for the disguise I had appeared in atfirst, and for the story I had invented. I told her that I held myselfobliged to satisfy her for the whole floor we were upon; and for an upperroom for my servant, and that for a month certain.
She made many scruples, and begged she might not be urged, on this head,till she had consulted Miss Rawlins.
I consented; but told her, that she had taken my earnest, and I hopedthere was no room for dispute.
Just then Miss Rawlins returned, with an air of eager curiosity; andhaving been told what had passed between Mrs. Moore and me, she gaveherself airs of office immediately: which I humoured, plainly perceivingthat if I had her with me I had the other.
She wished, if there were time for it, and if it were not quiteimpertinent in her to desire it, that I would give Mrs. Moore and her abrief history of an affair, which, as she said, bore the face of novelty,mystery, and surprise. For sometimes it looked to her as if we weremarried; at other times that point appeared doubtful; and yet the ladydid not absolutely deny it, but, upon the whole, thought herself highlyinjured.
I said that our's was a very particular case.--That, were I to acquaintthem with it, some part of it would hardly appear credible. But,however, as they seemed hardly to be persons of discretion, I would givethem a brief account of the whole; and this in so plain and sincere amanner, that it should clear up, to their satisfaction, every thing thathad passed, or might hereafter pass between us.
They sat down by me and threw every feature of their faces intoattention. I was resolved to go as near the truth as possible, lest anything should drop from my spouse to impeach my veracity; and yet keep inview what passed at the Flask.
It is necessary, although thou knowest my whole story, and a good deal ofmy views, that thou shouldst be apprized of the substance of what I toldthem.
'I gave them, in as concise a manner as I was able, this history of ourfamilies, fortunes, alliances, antipathies, her brother's and mineparticularly. I averred the truth of our private marriage.' TheCaptain's letter, which I will enclose, will give thee my reasons forthat. And, besides, the women might have proposed a parson to me by wayof compromise. 'I told them the condition my spouse had made me swearto; and to which she held me, in order, I said, to induce me the soonerto be reconciled to her relations.
'I owned, that this restraint made me sometimes ready to fly out.' AndMrs. Moore was so good as to declare, that she did not much wonder at it.
Thou art a very good sort of woman, Mrs. Moore, thought I.
As Miss Howe has actually detected our mother, and might possibly findsome way still to acquaint her friend with her discoveries, I thought itproper to prepossess them in favour of Mrs. Sinclair and her two nieces.
I said, 'they were gentlewomen born; that they had not bad hearts; thatindeed my spouse did not love them; they having once taken the liberty toblame her for her over-niceness with regard to me. People, I said, evengood people, who knew themselves to be guilty of a fault they had noinclination to mend, were too often least patient when told of it; asthey could less bear than others to be thought indifferently of.'
Too often the case, they owned.
'Mrs. Sinclair's house was a very handsome house, and fit to receive thefirst quality, [true enough, Jack!] Mrs. Sinclair was a woman very easyin her circumstances:--A widow gentlewoman, as you, Mrs. Moore, are.--Lets lodgings, as you, Mrs. Moore, do.--Once had better prospects as you,Mrs. Moore, may have had: the relict of Colonel Sinclair;--you, Mrs.Moore, might know Colonel Sinclair--he had lodgings at Hampstead.'
She had heard of the name.
'Oh! he was related to the best families in Scotland!--And his widow isnot to be reflected upon because she lets lodgings you know, Mrs. Moore--you know, Miss Rawlins.'
Very true, and very true.--And they must needs say, it did not look quiteso pretty, in such a lady as my spouse, to be so censorious.
A foundation here, thought I, to procure these women's help to get backthe fugitive, or their connivance, at least, at my doing so; as well asfor anticipating any future information from Miss Howe.
I gave them a character of that virago; and intimated, 'that for a headto contrive mischief, and a heart to execute it, she had hardly her equalin her sex.'
To this Miss Howe it was, Mrs. Moore said, she supposed, that my spousewas so desirous to dispatch a man and horse, by day-dawn, with a lettershe wrote before she went to bed last night, proposing to stay no longerthan till she had received an answer to it.
The very same, said I; I knew she would have immediate recourse to her.I should have been but too happy, could I have prevented such a letterfrom passing, or so to have it managed, as to have it given into Mrs.Howe's hands, instead of her daughter's. Women who had lived some timein the world knew better, than to encourage such skittish pranks in youngwives.
Let me just stop to tell thee, while it is in my head, that I have sincegiven Will. his cue to find out where the man lives who is gone with thefair fugitive's letter; and, if possible, to see him on his return,before he sees her.
I told the women, 'I despaired that it would ever be better with us whileMiss Howe had so strange an ascendancy over my spouse, and remainedherself unmarried. And until the reconciliation with her friends couldbe effected; or a still happier event--as I should think it, who am thelast male of
my family; and which my foolish vow, and her rigour, hadhitherto'--
Here I stopt, and looked modest, turning my diamond ring round my finger;while goody Moore looked mighty significant, calling it a very particularcase; and the maiden fanned away, and primm'd, and purs'd, to show thatwhat I had said needed no farther explanantion.
'I told them the occasion of our present difference. I avowed thereality of the fire; but owned, that I would have made no scruple ofbreaking the unnatural oath she had bound me in, (having a husband'sright on my side,) when she was so accidentally frighted into my arms;and I blamed myself excessively, that I did not; since she thought fit tocarry her resentment so high, and had the injustice to suppose the fireto be a contrivance of mine.'
Nay, for that matter, Mrs. Moore said, as we were married, and madam wasso odd--every gentleman would not--and stopt there Mrs. Moore.
'To suppose I should have recourse to such a poor contrivance, said I,when I saw the dear creature every hour.'--Was not this a bold put, Jack?
A most extraordinary case, truly, cried the maiden; fanning, yet comingin with her Well-but's!--and her sifting Pray, Sir's!--and herrestraining Enough, Sir's.--flying from the question to the question--herseat now-and-then uneasy, for fear my want of delicacy should hurt herabundant modesty; and yet it was difficult to satisfy her super-abundantcuriosity.
'My beloved's jealousy, [and jealousy of itself, to female minds,accounts for a thousand unaccountablenesses,] and the imputation of herhalf-phrensy, brought upon her by her father's wicked curse, and by theprevious persecutions she had undergone from all her family, were what Idwelt upon, in order to provide against what might happen.'
In short, 'I owned against myself most of the offences which I did notdoubt but she would charge me with in their hearing; and as every causehas a black and white side, I gave the worst parts of our story thegentlest turn. And when I had done, acquainted them with some of thecontents of that letter of Captain Tomlinson which I left with the lady.I concluded with James Harlowe, and of Captain Singleton, or of anysailor-looking men.'
This thou wilt see, from the letter itself, was necessary to be done.Here, therefore, thou mayest read it. And a charming letter to mypurpose wilt thou find it to be, if thou givest the least attention toits contents.
TO ROBERT LOVELACE, ESQ.WEDN. JUNE 7.
DEAR SIR,
Although I am obliged to be in town to-morrow, or next day at farthest,yet I would not dispense with writing to you, by one of my servants,(whom I send up before upon a particular occasion,) in order to advertiseyou, that it is probable you will hear from some of your own relations onyour [supposed*] nuptials. One of the persons, (Mr. Lilburne by name,)to whom I hinted my belief of your marriage, happens to be acquaintedwith Mr. Spurrier, Lady Betty Lawrance's steward, and (not being underany restriction) mentioned it to Mr. Spurrier, and he to Lady Betty, as athing certain; and this, (though I have not the honour to be personallyknown to her Ladyship,) brought on an inquiry from her Ladyship to me byher gentleman; who coming to me in company with Mr. Lilburne, I had noway but to confirm the report.--And I understand, that Lady Betty takesit amiss that she was not acquainted with so desirable a piece of newsfrom yourself.
* What is between hooks [ ] thou mayest suppose, Jack, I sunk upon thewomen, in the account I gave them of the contents of this letter.
Her Ladyship, it seems, has business that calls her to town [and you willpossibly choose to put her right. If you do, it will, I presume, be inconfidence; that nothing may transpire from your own family to contradictwhat I have given out.]
[I have ever been of opinion, That truth ought to be strictly adhered toon all occasions: and am concerned that I have, (though with so good aview,) departed from my old maxim. But my dear friend Mr. John Harlowewould have it so. Yet I never knew a departure of this kind a singledeparture. But, to make the best of it now, allow me, Sir, once more tobeg the lady, as soon as possible, to authenticate the report given out.]When both you and the lady join in the acknowledgement of your marriage,it will be impertinent in any one to be inquisitive as to the day orweek. [And if as privately celebrated as you intend, (while thegentlewomen with whom you lodge are properly instructed, as you say theyare, and who shall actually believe you were married long ago,) who shallbe able to give a contradiction to my report?]
And yet it is very probable, that minute inquiries will be made; and thisis what renders precaution necessary; for Mr. James Harlowe will notbelieve that you are married; and is sure, he says, that you both livedtogether when Mr. Hickman's application was made to Mr. John Harlowe: andif you lived together any time unmarried, he infers from your character,Mr. Lovelace, that it is not probable that you would ever marry. And heleaves it to his two uncles to decide, if you even should be married,whether there be not room to believe, that his sister was firstdishonoured; and if so, to judge of the title she will have to theirfavour, or to the forgiveness of any of her family.--I believe, Sir, thispart of my letter had best be kept from the lady.
Young Mr. Harlowe is resolved to find this out, and to come at hissister's speech likewise: and for that purpose sets out to-morrow, as Iam well informed, with a large attendance armed; and Mr. Solmes is to beof the party. And what makes him the more earnest to find it out isthis:--Mr. John Harlowe has told the whole family that he will alter, andnew-settle his will. Mr. Antony Harlowe is resolved to do the same byhis; for, it seems, he has now given over all thoughts of changing hiscondition, having lately been disappointed in a view he had of that sortwith Mrs. Howe. These two brothers generally act in concert; and Mr.James Harlowe dreads (and let me tell you, that he has reason for it, onmy Mr. Harlowe's account) that his younger sister will be, at last, morebenefited than he wishes for, by the alteration intended. He has alreadybeen endeavouring to sound his uncle Harlowe on this subject; and wantedto know whether any new application had been made to him on his sister'spart. Mr. Harlowe avoided a direct answer, and expressed his wishes fora general reconciliation, and his hopes that his niece were married.This offended the furious young man, and he reminded his uncle ofengagements they had all entered into at his sister's going away, not tobe reconciled but by general consent.
Mr. John Harlowe complains to me often of the uncontroulableness of hisnephew; and says, that now that the young man has not any body of whosesuperior sense he stands in awe, he observes not decency in his behaviourto any of them, and this makes my Mr. Harlowe still more desirous thanever of bringing his younger niece into favour again. I will not say allI might of this young man's extraordinary rapaciousness:--but one wouldthink, that these grasping men expect to live for ever!
'I took the liberty but within these two hours to propose to set on foot(and offered my cover to) a correspondence between my friend and hisdaughter-niece, as she still sometimes fondly calls her. She wasmistress of so much prudence, I said, that I was sure she could betterdirect every thing to its desirable end, than any body else could. Buthe said, he did not think himself entirely at liberty to take such a stepat present; and that it was best that he should have it in his power tosay, occasionally, that he had not any correspondence with her, or letterfrom her.
'You will see, Sir, from all this, the necessity of keeping our treaty anabsolute secret; and if the lady has mentioned it to her worthy friendMiss Howe, I hope it is in confidence.'
[And now, Sir, a few lines in answer to your's of Monday last.]
[Mr. Harlowe was very well pleased with your readiness to come into hisproposal. But as to what you both desire, that he will be present at theceremony, he said, that his nephew watched all his steps so narrowly,that he thought it was not practicable (if he were inclinable) to obligeyou: but that he consented, with all his heart, that I should be theperson whom he had stipulated should be privately present at the ceremonyon his part.]
[However, I think, I have an expedient for this, if your lady continuesto be very desirous of her uncle's presence (except he should be moredetermined than his answer to me seemed
to import); of which I shallacquaint you, and perhaps of what he says to it, when I have the pleasureto see you in town. But, indeed, I think you have no time to lose. Mr.Harlowe is impatient to hear, that you are actually one; and I hope I maycarry him down word, when I leave you next, that I saw the ceremonyperformed.]
[If any obstacle arises from the lady, (from you it cannot,) I shall betempted to think a little hardly of her punctilio.]
Mr. Harlowe hopes, Sir, that you will rather take pains to avoid, than tomeet, this violent young man. He has the better opinion of you, let metell you, Sir, from the account I gave him of your moderation andpoliteness; neither of which are qualities with his nephew. But we haveall of us something to amend.
You cannot imagine how dearly my friend still loves this excellent nieceof his.--I will give you an instance of it, which affected me a gooddeal---'If once more, said he, (the last time but one we were together,)I can but see this sweet child gracing the upper end of my table, asmistress of my house, in my allotted month; all the rest of my familypresent but as her guests; for so I formerly would have it; and had hermother's consent for it--' There he stopt; for he was forced to turn hisreverend face from me. Tears ran down his cheeks. Fain would he havehid them: but he could not--'Yet--yet, said he--how--how--' [poorgentleman, he perfectly sobbed,] 'how shall I be able to bear the firstmeeting!'
I bless God I am no hard-hearted man, Mr. Lovelace: my eyes showed to myworthy friend, that he had no reason to be ashamed of his humanity beforeme.
I will put an end to this long epistle. Be pleased to make mycompliments acceptable to the most excellent of women; as well as believeme to be,
Dear Sir,Your faithful friend, and humble servant,ANTONY TOMLINSON.
***
During the conversation between me and the women, I had planted myself atthe farthest end of the apartment we were in, over against the door,which was open; and opposite to the lady's chamber-door, which was shut.I spoke so low that it was impossible for her, at that distance, to hearwhat we said; and in this situation I could see if her door was opened.
I told the women, that what I had mentioned to my spouse of Lady Betty'scoming to town with her niece Montague, and of their intention to visitmy beloved, whom they had never seen, nor she them, was real; and that Iexpected news of their arrival every hour. I then showed them copies ofthe other two letters, which I had left with her; the one from LadyBetty, the other from my cousin Montague.--And here thou mayest read themif thou wilt.
Eternally reproaching, eternally upbraiding me, are my impertinentrelations. But they are fond of occasions to find fault with me. Theirlove, their love, Jack, and their dependence on my known good humour, aretheir inducements.
TO ROBERT LOVELACE, ESQ.WED. MORN. JUNE 7.
DEAR NEPHEW,
I understand that at length all our wishes are answered in your happymarriage. But I think we might as well have heard of it directly fromyou, as from the round-about way by which we have been made acquaintedwith it. Methinks, Sir, the power and the will we have to oblige you,should not expose us the more to your slights and negligence. My brotherhad set his heart upon giving to you the wife we have all so long wishedyou to have. But if you were actually married at the time you made himthat request (supposing, perhaps, that his gout would not let him attendyou) it is but like you.*--If your lady had her reasons to wish it to beprivate while the differences between her family and self continue, youmight nevertheless have communicated it to us with that restriction; andwe should have forborne the public manifestations of our joy upon anevent we have so long desired.
* I gave Mrs. Moore and Miss Rawlins room to think this reproach just,Jack.
The distant way we have come to know it is by my steward; who isacquainted with a friend of Captain Tomlinson, to whom that gentlemanrevealed it: and he, it seems, had it from yourself and lady, with suchcircumstances as leave it not to be doubted.
I am, indeed, very much disobliged with you: so is Lady Sarah. But Ihave a very speedy opportunity to tell you so in person; being obliged togo to town to my old chancery affair. My cousin Leeson, who is, itseems, removed to Albemarle-street, has notice of it. I shall be at herhouse, where I bespeak your attendance of Sunday night. I have writtento my cousin Charlotte for either her, or her sister, to meet me atReading, and accompany me to town. I shall stay but a few days; mybusiness being matter of form only. On my return I shall pop upon LordM. at M. Hall, to see in what way his last fit has left him.
Mean time, having told you my mind on your negligence, I cannot helpcongratulating you both on the occasion.--Your fair lady particularly,upon her entrance into a family which is prepared to admire and love her.
My principal intention of writing to you (dispensing with the necessarypunctilio) is, that you may acquaint my dear new niece, that I will notbe denied the honour of her company down with me into Oxfordshire. Iunderstand that your proposed house and equipages cannot be soon ready.She shall be with me till they are. I insist upon it. This shall makeall up. My house shall be her own. My servants and equipages her's.
Lady Sarah, who has not been out of her own house for months, will obligeme with her company for a week, in honour of a niece so dearly beloved,as I am sure she will be of us all.
Being but in lodgings in town, neither you nor your lady can require muchpreparation.
Some time on Monday I hope to attend the dear young lady, to make her mycompliments; and to receive her apology for your negligence: which, andher going down with me, as I said before, shall be full satisfaction.Mean time, God bless her for her courage, (tell her I say so;) and blessyou both in each other; and that will be happiness to us all--particularly to
Your truly affectionate Aunt,ELIZ. LAWRANCE.
TO ROBERT LOVELACE, ESQ.
DEAR COUSIN,
At last, as we understand, there is some hope of you. Now does my goodLord run over his bead-roll of proverbs; of black oxen, wild oats, longlanes, and so forth.
Now, Cousin, say I, is your time come; and you will be no longer, I hope,an infidel either to the power or excellence of the sex you havepretended hitherto so much as undervalue; nor a ridiculer or scoffer atan institution which all sober people reverence, and all rakes, sooner orlater, are brought to reverence, or to wish they had.
I want to see how you become your silken fetters: whether the charmingyoke sits light upon your shoulders. If with such a sweet yoke-fellow itdoes not, my Lord, and my sister, as well as I, think that you willdeserve a closer tie about your neck.
His Lordship is very much displeased, that you have not written him wordof the day, the hour, the manner, and every thing. But I ask him, how hecan already expect any mark of deference or politeness from you? He muststay, I tell him, till that sign of reformation, among others, appearfrom the influence and example of your lady: but that, if ever you willbe good for any thing, it will be quickly seen. And, O Cousin, what avast, vast journey have you to take from the dreary land of libertinism,through the bright province of reformation, into the serene kingdom ofhappiness!--You had need to lose no time. You have many a weary step totread, before you can overtake those travellers who set out for it from aless remote quarter. But you have a charming pole-star to guide you;that's your advantage. I wish you joy of it: and as I have never yetexpected any highly complaisant thing from you, I make no scruple tobegin first; but it is purely, I must tell you, in respect to my newcousin; whose accession into our family we most heartily congratulate andrejoice in.
I have a letter from Lady Betty. She commands either my attendance or mysister's to my cousin Leeson's. She puts Lord M. in hopes, that sheshall certainly bring down with her our lovely new relation; for shesays, she will not be denied. His Lordship is the willinger to let me bethe person, as I am in a manner wild to see her; my sister having twoyears ago had that honour at Sir Robert Biddulph's. So get ready toaccompany us in our return; except your lady had objections strong enoughto satisfy us all. Lady Sarah longs to see her;
and says, This accessionto the family will supply to it the loss of her beloved daughter.
I shall soon, I hope, pay my compliments to the dear lady in person: sohave nothing to add, but that I am
Your old mad Playfellow and Cousin,CHARLOTTE MONTAGUE.
***
The women having read the copies of these two letters, I thought that Imight then threaten and swagger--'But very little heart have I, said I,to encourage such a visit from Lady Betty and Miss Montague to my spouse.For after all, I am tired out with her strange ways. She is not what shewas, and (as I told her in your hearing, Ladies) I will leave this plaguyisland, though the place of my birth, and though the stake I have in itis very considerable, and go and reside in France or Italy, and neverthink of myself as a married man, nor live like one.'
O dear! said one.
That would be a sad thing! said the other.
Nay, Madam, [turning to Mrs. Moore,]--Indeed, Madam, [to Miss Rawlins,]--I am quite desperate. I can no longer bear such usage. I have had thegood fortune to be favoured by the smiles of very fine ladies, though Isay it [and I looked very modest] both abroad and at home--[Thou knowestthis to be true, Jack]. With regard to my spouse here, I have but onehope left, (for as to the reconciliation with her friends, I left, Iscorn them all too much to value that, but for her sake,) and that was,that if it pleased God to bless us with children, she might entirelyrecover her usual serenity; and we might then be happy. But thereconciliation her heart was so much set upon, is now, as I hintedbefore, entirely hopeless--made so, by this rash step of her's, and bythe rash temper she is in; since (as you will believe) her brother andsister, when they come to know it, will make a fine handle of it againstus both;--affecting, as they do at present, to disbelieve our marriage--and the dear creature herself too ready to countenance such a disbelief--as nothing more than the ceremony--as nothing more--hem!--as nothingmore than the ceremony--
Here, as thou wilt perceive, I was bashful; for Miss Rawlins, by herpreparatory primness, put me in mind that it was proper to be so--
I turned half round; then facing the fan-player, and the matron--youyourselves, Ladies, knew not what to believe till now, that I have toldyou our story; and I do assure you, that I shall not give myself the sametrouble to convince people I hate; people from whom I neither expect nordesire any favour; and who are determined not to be convinced. And what,pray, must be the issue, when her uncle's friend comes, although he seemsto be a truly worthy man? It is not natural for him to say, 'To whatpurpose, Mr. Lovelace, should I endeavour to bring about a reconciliationbetween Mrs. Lovelace and her friends, by means of her elder uncle, whena good understanding is wanting between yourselves?'--A fair inference,Mrs. Moore!--A fair inference, Miss Rawlins.--And here is theunhappiness--till she is reconciled to them, this cursed oath, in hernotion, is binding.
The women seemed moved; for I spoke with great earnestness, thoughlow--and besides, they love to have their sex, and its favours, appear ofimportance to us. They shook their deep heads at each other, and lookedsorrowful: and this moved my tender heart too.
'Tis an unheard-of case, Ladies--had she not preferred me to allmankind--There I stopped--and that, resumed I, feeling for myhandkerchief, is what staggered Captain Tomlinson when he heard of herflight; who, the last time he saw us together, saw the most affectionatecouple on earth!--the most affectionate couple on earth!--in theaccent-grievous, repeated I.
Out then I pulled my handkerchief, and putting it to my eyes, arose, andwalked to the window--It makes me weaker than a woman, did I not loveher, as never man loved his wife! [I have no doubt but I do, Jack.]
There again I stopt; and resuming--Charming creature, as you see she is,I wish I had never beheld her face!--Excuse me, Ladies; traversing theroom, and having rubbed my eyes till I supposed them red, I turned to thewomen; and, pulling out my letter-case, I will show you one letter--hereit is--read it, Miss Rawlins, if you please--it will confirm to you howmuch all my family are prepared to admire her. I am freely treated init;--so I am in the two others: but after what I have told you, nothingneed be a secret to you two.
She took it, with an air of eager curiosity, and looked at the seal,ostentatiously coroneted; and at the superscription, reading out, ToRobert Lovelace, Esq.--Ay, Madam--Ay, Miss, that's my name, [givingmyself an air, though I had told it to them before,] I am not ashamed ofit. My wife's maiden name--unmarried name, I should rather say--foolthat I am!--and I rubbed my cheek for vexation [Fool enough inconscience, Jack!] was Harlowe--Clarissa Harlowe--you heard me call hermy Clarissa--
I did--but thought it to be a feigned or love-name, said Miss Rawlins.
I wonder what is Miss Rawlins's love-name, Jack. Most of the fairromancers have in their early womanhood chosen love-names. No parsonever gave more real names, than I have given fictitious ones. And tovery good purpose: many a sweet dear has answered me a letter for thesake of owning a name which her godmother never gave her.
No--it was her real name, I said.
I bid her read out the whole letter. If the spelling be not exact, MissRawlins, said I, you will excuse it; the writer is a lord. But, perhaps,I may not show it to my spouse; for if those I have left with her have noeffect upon her, neither will this: and I shall not care to expose myLord M. to her scorn. Indeed I begin to be quite careless ofconsequences.
Miss Rawlins, who could not but be pleased with this mark of myconfidence, looked as if she pitied me.
And here thou mayest read the letter, No. III.
***
TO ROBERT LOVELACE, ESQ.M. HALL, WEDN. JUNE 7.
COUSIN LOVELACE,
I think you might have found time to let us know of your nuptials beingactually solemnized. I might have expected this piece of civility fromyou. But perhaps the ceremony was performed at the very time that youasked me to be your lady's father--but I should be angry if I proceed inmy guesses--and little said is soon amended.
But I can tell you, that Lady Betty Lawrance, whatever Lady Sarah does,will not so soon forgive you, as I have done. Women resent slightslonger than men. You that know so much of the sex (I speak it not,however, to your praise) might have known that. But never was you beforeacquainted with a lady of such an amiable character. I hope there willbe but one soul between you. I have before now said, that I willdisinherit you, and settle all I can upon her, if you prove not a goodhusband to her.
May this marriage be crowned with a great many fine boys (I desire nogirls) to build up again a family so antient! The first boy shall takemy surname by act of parliament. That is my will.
Lady Betty and niece Charlotte will be in town about business before youknow where you are. They long to pay their compliments to your fairbride. I suppose you will hardly be at The Lawn when they get to town;because Greme informs me, you have sent no orders there for your lady'saccommodation.
Pritchard has all things in readiness for signing. I will take noadvantage of your slights. Indeed I am too much used to them--morepraise to my patience than to your complaisance, however.
One reason for Lady Betty's going up, as I may tell you under the rose,is, to buy some suitable presents for Lady Sarah and all of us to makeon this agreeable occasion.
We would have blazed it away, could we have had timely notice, andthought it would have been agreeable to all round. The like occasionsdon't happen every day.
My most affectionate compliments and congratulations to my new niece,conclude me, for the present, in violent pain, that with all yourheroicalness would make you mad,
Your truly affectionate uncle,M.
***
This letter clench'd the nail. Not but that, Miss Rawlins said, she sawI had been a wild gentleman; and, truly she thought so the moment shebeheld me.
They began to intercede for my spouse, (so nicely had I turned thetables;) and that I would not go abroad and disappoint a reconciliationso much wished for on one side, and such desirable prospects on the otherin my own family.
Who knows, thoug
ht I to myself, but more may come of this plot, than Ihad even promised myself? What a happy man shall I be, if these womencan be brought to join to carry my marriage into consummation!
Ladies, you are exceedingly good to us both. I should have some hopes,if my unhappily nice spouse could be brought to dispense with theunnatural oath she has laid me under. You see what my case is. Do youthink I may not insist upon her absolving me from this abominable oath?Will you be so good as to give your advice, that one apartment may servefor a man and his wife at the hour of retirement?--[Modestly put,Belford!--And let me here observe, that few rakes would find a languageso decent as to engage modest women to talk with him in, upon suchsubjects.]
They both simpered, and looked upon one another.
These subjects always make women simper, at least. No need but of themost delicate hints to them. A man who is gross in a woman's company,ought to be knocked down with a club: for, like so many musicalinstruments, touch but a single wire, and the dear souls are sensibleall over.
To be sure, Miss Rawlins learnedly said, playing with her fan, a casuistwould give it, that the matrimonial vow ought to supercede any otherobligation.
Mrs. Moore, for her part, was of opinion, that, if the lady owned herselfto be a wife, she ought to behave like one.
Whatever be my luck, thought I, with this all-eyed fair-one, any otherwoman in the world, from fifteen to five-and-twenty, would be mine uponmy own terms before the morning.
And now, that I may be at hand to take all advantages, I will endeavour,said I to myself, to make sure of good quarters.
I am your lodger, Mrs. Moore, in virtue of the earnest I have given youfor these apartments, and for any one you can spare above for myservants. Indeed for all you have to spare--For who knows what myspouse's brother may attempt? I will pay you to your own demand; andthat for a month or two certain, (board included,) as I shall or shallnot be your hindrance. Take that as a pledge; or in part of payment--offering her a thirty pound bank note.
She declined taking it; desiring she might consult the lady first;adding, that she doubted not my honour; and that she would not let herapartments to any other person, whom she knew not something of, while Iand the lady were here.
The Lady! The Lady! from both women's mouth's continually (which stillimplied a doubt in their hearts): and not Your Spouse, and Your Lady,Sir.
I never met with such women, thought I:--so thoroughly convinced but thismoment, yet already doubting--I am afraid I have a couple of skeptics todeal with.
I knew no reason, I said, for my wife to object to my lodging in the samehouse with her here, any more than in town, at Mrs. Sinclair's. But wereshe to make such objection, I would not quit possession since it was notunlikely that the same freakish disorder which brought her to Hampstead,might carry her absolutely out of my knowledge.
They both seemed embarrassed; and looked upon one another; yet with suchan air, as if they thought there was reason in what I said. And Ideclared myself her boarder, as well as lodger; and dinner-timeapproaching, was not denied to be the former.