“Yes.” Zack thought about last night and conviction shot arrows at his soul. “My faith is important to me. That’s why this segment makes me so—”
“Hold on.” The producer raised his voice. He came a step closer and pointed at Zack. “If your faith was so important, why didn’t our camera guys get shots of you reading your Bible?” He leaned back, studying Zack. “By the way, you’ll be doing a duet with Zoey next week.” He shrugged, his eyes hard. “Don’t complain about the segment, Zack. You gave it to us.”
With that he turned and walked at a determined clip down the hallway where the assistants had gone. He didn’t look back once.
In some ways, Zack wanted nothing more than to run back to the hotel and grab his things and head home to Kentucky where he belonged. But he’d been hit by a strange and stark reality. He didn’t really want to go home. Not yet. Regardless of the Romeo and Juliet piece and the producers manipulating his time with Zoey. Even after what happened last night, he’d come too far to quit.
When the ride was over, he would talk to Reese and work things out.
He kept to himself the rest of the morning and into the afternoon as the group did another Jeep commercial and a photo shoot in Washington Square. Zoey tried to talk to him once, but he shook his head. “Not now. Please.”
After that she left him alone, finding her place amid the group. With every passing hour he thought about what he’d say to Reese, how he’d explain the piece with Zoey, their time together, and the kiss. Not just that one but the one from last night. Especially that. On the bus ride back to the practice hall they were given permission to use their phones. Zack texted Reese immediately.
Now that she’d finally answered, he was desperate to find a way to Skype her. That way he could look into her eyes and explain at least some of what had happened. They filed into the building for what was supposed to be another rehearsal of the group numbers. Zack found Gaines at the back of the practice room. “I need thirty minutes. It’s an emergency.”
Gaines narrowed his eyes. “We don’t have thirty minutes. We tape in two hours.”
“I’m sorry, sir. I have to make a phone call.”
Ten full seconds passed and then Gaines slowly picked up his megaphone. “Take twenty, everyone. We’ll meet here after that.”
It was the first real break of the day and Zack thanked him as he sprinted for the door. He grabbed his laptop on the way out but was stopped by a line of bodyguards at the door. “Hold up.” One of them stood in his path. “Where do you think you’re going?”
“Across the street.” He pointed to the Starbucks. “I need to make a call.”
“You have permission from Mr. Gaines?” The guy peered past Zack into the building.
“I do. Please.” He checked the time on his phone. “I don’t have long.”
“All right, then.” The bodyguard nodded at one of his peers. “Let’s do this.”
Zack couldn’t believe he’d need two bodyguards to cross the street and Skype from Starbucks. But he didn’t have time to argue. The hot sun beat down on his shoulders as they walked to the nearest intersection and crossed at the light. Before they reached the other side, a van full of teenagers screeched to a stop and the door flew open.
“Zack Dylan!” One of the girls ran from the van and was nearly hit by a cab as she raced toward him. She screamed, waving her arms at him. “It’s Zack Dylan!”
“Zack! Wait for us!”
Zack and the bodyguards stepped onto the sidewalk and the girls surrounded them. They managed to reach in and touch Zack, tug at his shirt and put their hands on his arms and shoulders. The moment was easily one of the most out of control since the competition began, and Zack waved them off. “Hey, I gotta go! Sorry!”
“Just one picture, please, Zack?” Half the group was screaming, and as he and the bodyguards continued toward Starbucks, the girls stayed close. Zack could see where this was going. The girls would follow him into the coffee shop and he’d never get the chance to jump on Skype.
“You’re drawing a crowd.” The bigger of the two bodyguards turned to him. “What do you want to do?”
“I say you take a few pictures and get rid of them.” The other bodyguard shrugged. “You wanted to do this.”
The guy was right. Zack stopped and turned to the girls. As he did, the bodyguards took up their places on either side of him. “Okay, come on.” He found a smile that had become practiced in recent weeks. “Let’s take a picture?”
Again the girls screamed and squealed, but once he began taking photos, they quieted down. Each of the girls wanted a single shot, and then there were several group pictures. The girls had their hands all over him, and one of them leaned in to kiss his cheek before the nearest bodyguard put his hand up. “That’s enough. We have to go.”
The girls waved and squealed as he walked away. “Marry me, Zack!” one of them shouted. He could still hear them as he entered the coffee shop. One of the guards stayed outside. He couldn’t keep the public away, exactly. But he could try.
Zack checked his phone. He was ten minutes late at least. He took a table in the back corner, opened his laptop, and frantically logged in to Skype. “Hurry,” he whispered. He was still catching his breath from the commotion outside. “Be there, Reese. Please.”
After the first ring, she picked up, and like that he was looking into her eyes. “Hey . . . sorry I’m late.”
“It’s okay.” She didn’t seem angry. But her expression was so sad he could barely look at her.
He could sense the crowd gathering outside. The girls remained, and more were joining them. So far the bodyguard had kept them at bay, though Zack could hear the commotion building inside with the employees. Zack shut all of it out and tried to focus. “Reese, I’m sorry.” Their connection wasn’t perfect. She was probably using the Skype app on her phone. But it was better than they’d had in weeks. He had to hurry. “The video piece, that’s not how it is.”
Reese hesitated. She looked down for a long moment and then straight at him. “You kissed her.”
“It was a crazy night. She pushed me. I . . . I didn’t mean it.” He kept his voice low. People behind the counter were watching. “Reese, the whole thing lasted only a few seconds.” His words tumbled out, one on top of the other and he caught himself. Excuses would get him nowhere. Especially since at some point he’d have to tell her about last night, too. He pushed his fingers through his hair and breathed out. “I’m sorry. It was my fault. I was wrong. I . . .” Another sigh. “I’m sorry.”
Tears shone in her eyes, but she didn’t break down. “Thanks. For saying that.” So many details remained, but clearly she wasn’t interested. “Zack, I need to tell you something.”
His heart slammed against his chest. Outside he could hear the girls squealing his name, and inside, the workers had formed a half circle, whispering and staring at him. Zack was glad he had his back to the wall. No one else could see the computer screen. “Try to understand, please. I’ll fly home tomorrow if you want.”
“No.” She shook her head. “I don’t want that.”
“What, then?” Time was running out. If the girls got past the bodyguards, his conversation would be over.
“Zack . . . I’m moving to London. I leave in three weeks.”
“What?” The room began to spin, and Zack had to grab the edges of the table to steady himself. “Reese, don’t do this. Not until I get home so we can talk.”
“I’ve made up my mind. I already gave my word.” Until this point she had sounded strong. Now her eyes welled up. “It’s over.” Her voice cracked and she shaded her eyes. He’d done this to her, hurt her this way. Zack would’ve given anything to climb through the screen and take her in his arms.
“Reese, don’t! It’s not over.” He lowered his voice. Already everyone in the place was listening. He had no privacy, but he didn’t care. “I love you.”
She wiped her eyes with her knuckles and looked at him again, to the deepest
places of his heart. “I’ll always love you. But it is over. I wanted to tell you to your face.”
Lines began to run horizontally across the screen and the sound crackled. He shifted the laptop a few inches each way. “No, Reese . . . you can’t do this. Please . . .”
“I already did.” Her tears spilled onto her cheeks, but she remained composed even as the connection grew worse. “It’s over. Don’t text me. It’ll be . . . easier that way. I can’t—”
The screen went dark. At the same time the bodyguard keeping watch inside stepped up. “We need to go. Just got a call from Gaines. Rehearsal starts in five.”
“Not yet.” His fingers flew across the keyboard, desperate to bring Skype back to life. He was too late. The signal was gone. Zack held his breath. He could’ve thrown his laptop through the window. Instead he had to smile. Devastated and in shock, unable to believe what had just happened, he gathered his laptop and followed the bodyguards out onto the sidewalk.
Like an actor playing a part, Zack smiled and waved and paused for photos with a crowd that had doubled while he was in Starbucks. He kept his easy grin in place while he crossed the street and returned to the practice hall. For the next hour, he danced with the group and acted excited about the upcoming show. But his broken heart was in Kentucky.
Only Zoey seemed to know something was wrong. She was still his dance partner, and though the two of them had been awkward since last night, she looked worried. She caught up to him during a five-minute water break. “What’s wrong? Tell me.” She hesitated. “You’re mad.”
“I’m not.” He took a long swig of water and stared at her. “Reese broke up with me.”
Her expression fell as if she were genuinely upset for him. “Can you . . . Will you try to change her mind?”
“Yes.” He held her gaze, keeping control on his anger. “As long as I’m breathing.” He turned and walked back to the dance floor. He had no right being mad at Zoey. None of this was her fault. He hadn’t seen his friendship with Zoey coming, let alone the attraction he’d felt last night. And by the time he realized how the producers were playing the situation, it was too late. He could only blame himself for the video segment and the kiss. Both kisses.
For all of it.
The kickoff show happened in a blur, like something from a dream. They performed their numbers and sat through a painful few hours while ten contestants were eliminated. The whole time Zack wanted to stand up and volunteer. A ticket home would mean he could start piecing his life back together. He was kept, like everyone expected, and when the final cuts were made the remaining ten erupted in hugs and celebrations. Zoey wrapped her arms around his neck, but he quickly turned and hugged someone else. He’d given the producers enough footage.
As the show ended, they signed a new set of papers, promising a portion of their earnings over the next three years to the show. Then they were escorted to a waiting Mercedes Sprinter van and taken to Del Frisco’s on Avenue of the Americas for a private dinner. After that they attended a front-row performance of Annie, complete with ten bodyguards, a red-carpet arrival, and throngs of screaming crowds.
Zack felt numb through all of it. They sat him next to Zoey, but Zack might as well have been on a deserted island. His body was merely going through the motions. He kept smiling. Kept laughing. But he couldn’t keep track of the conversations around him. Couldn’t pray.
As if God Himself was back in Kentucky with everyone else he loved.
All he could think about, all he could see, were Reese’s beautiful, broken eyes and the certainty there. She was moving to London, yes. More than that she was moving on with her life. He could see that much even with the poor Skype signal. She didn’t want an explanation or a way to make things work or for him to get on the next plane.
She wanted to get as far away from Zack Dylan as possible.
chapter 25
Everyone could see the difference in Zack, but Chandra felt like she had a special window to it. Zack was changing before their eyes. Despite her warnings, he was letting the attention get to him, like everyone else. The show had mocked his convictions and manipulated his friendship with Zoey, and now he was left trying to find his way through his new life.
The one that no longer included his girlfriend.
Three weeks had passed, and everyone knew about the breakup. Chandra had watched from a distance, wondering if Zack would lose the will to compete and wind up getting kicked off earlier than any of them had expected. Instead, he seemed to have doubled his efforts to win, while his friendship with Zoey appeared only to have grown stronger. As if the two of them together had become victims of the show’s producers.
Star-crossed friends, if not lovers. The two of them against the world.
His breakup alone didn’t prove that Zack was a different person today. Relationships ended all the time. It was the other things. The fact that Zack had all but stopped mentioning his faith. Back when Meier gave the edict about avoiding faith talk, Zack had been determined to carry on anyway. Not anymore. His last dozen tweets were shout-outs to his fans, gratitude for their votes, and thanks to the show’s sponsors. Nothing about the God he served.
The competition was down to six contestants, and tonight each of them would sing two songs and a duet. They were set to compete in a few hours, and Chandra was worried. She’d seen Zack in wardrobe and watched him during rehearsal. His style had gradually changed, his clothes and hair edgier than before. One of his songs tonight was about getting drunk on a beach, and the duet was a racy love song. She pictured the way Zack and Zoey sang it during practice. If America didn’t believe they were a couple before tonight, they would soon. And maybe they really were, the way they acted.
Zack didn’t talk to Chandra like before.
Chandra finished her lunch and walked to the rehearsal room. For more than a week she’d looked for a chance to talk to Zack again, and now she couldn’t wait. The contestants had ten minutes left on their break. Chandra found him sitting next to Zoey, the two of them looking pensive. She walked up and made small talk at first. Then she looked at Zack. “Do you have a minute?”
Zack looked like he’d expected this. He stood. “Definitely.” He left his things with Zoey and followed Chandra to the back of the rehearsal space, down a hall to her private suite. She shut the door behind them and directed Zack to the sofa. She took the chair. For a long moment, she studied him, willing the right words to come. “Your memory isn’t very good, Zack?”
“Ma’am?”
She raised her eyebrows and her pointer finger at the same time. “Chandra.” Frustration filled her voice. “I told you that.”
Zack paused. “Sorry.” He sat a little straighter.
She had his attention. “We need to talk.”
“Okay.” He looked confused, not sure what to make of her anger.
She sat back hard in her seat and stared at him. “You didn’t hear me the first time, is that it? That why you’re letting fame suck you in?”
“I . . . I’m not sure I understand.”
“I warned you.” She crossed her arms, her voice louder than before. “Of course they were going to make some love story out of you and Zoey Davis.” She threw her hands in the air. “Look at you two. Like something off a movie set.”
Zack blinked. A fight stirred in his eyes. “Was that my fault?”
“You care about that girl back home?” Chandra leaned over her knees, too worked up to stop herself. “Do you?”
“You know I do.” Zack shifted, clearly uncomfortable.
“And you care about that God you used to talk about?”
“What do you mean used to talk—”
“Zack Dylan!” Chandra angled her head, shooting her best warning look at him. “Don’t go all innocent on me. You know what I’m saying. Check your tweets. When’s the last time you mentioned God or prayer or faith in Jesus?” She waved her hand in front of her face. “Don’t answer that. Just look later. When we’re done.”
&n
bsp; “You called me back here to talk about Twitter?” Zack rested his forearms on his knees, his eyes intent. “Is that what this is about?”
“It’s about you.” She emphasized each word, her voice marked by disappointment. “You’re not the same Zack. Right before our eyes, you’re changing.”
He stared at her, and the anger in his expression grew. He stood and walked until he faced the far wall, then he slammed his fist against it. Hard as he could. His forehead fell against the cool brick and he stayed that way. Several seconds passed before he spun around and glared at her. “How is any of this my fault?” he yelled. “Could you tell me that, Chandra?” He clenched his fists and made a move to hit the wall again, but at the last second he changed his mind and found a level of control. “How is it my fault?”
“Because.” She stood and pointed straight at his chest. “You love it, Zack. The cameras and autographs and stanchioned-off crowds. The staged photo shoots and live shows. You love all of it.” She grabbed a quick breath. “And you know what I think?”
He didn’t answer. His chest still heaved from hitting the wall with his hand.
Chandra let her hands fall to her sides. “I think . . .” her sudden calm made every word more pronounced, “you love it more than everything and everyone back in Kentucky.”
“Don’t say that.” Zack looked like he wasn’t sure whether to storm out of the room or break down and cry. “I didn’t stop loving anyone.”
“But . . .” she pointed at him again, her voice a whisper. “You love this more. Otherwise, you would’ve gotten on a plane and gone after the girl.” She held his eyes for a few heartbeats. “Look at this.” She pulled her laptop from a nearby desk. She took the computer to the sofa and pointed to the seat beside her. “Sit.”
Zack did as she asked. She opened the computer, pulled up her iPhoto library, and brought up the first picture. A photo of her with her mom and dad at what looked like a middle school graduation. “Those are my parents. Take a good look, Zack.” She peered at him. “You see them? See how happy we look?”