My hands inch around the back of his neck so they can plunge into the softness of his hair. I give him a sweet smile. "I promise you...I really feel good today. No nausea at all, and seriously...I am actually really hungry for food, so I think the sickness is gone."
"Are you tired?"
"No."
"Weak?"
"No."
"Horny?"
"Definitely," I say with a grin.
"Good. Me too," he says, and then leans down to kiss me again. It's a slow, leisurely kiss...very deep, with tongues and moans. He presses his erection into the juncture between my legs, causing pleasure to fire hot through me.
"I'll be gentle with you," he says after raising his lips from mine.
"Don't you dare," I warn him as I thrust my hips up and rub against him. He groans, but makes no further move.
"It's sweet and gentle or you don't get it at all," he says confidently.
And, yeah...my heart flops over like a puppy asking for a belly rub. Garrett is sex on a stick, and he's shown me how ferocious his appetite can be for some hard and slightly rough sex. But now it's important to him to show me his gentle side, and I'm betting he didn't even realize he had that within himself.
"I think sweet and gentle sounds lovely," I tell him, just before pulling his face down again for another kiss.
Chapter 15
Garrett
Alex opens the door almost immediately after I hit the doorbell. Just like the last time...a wide grin on his face in welcome. I'm actually expected this time, and I assume this is a peace-offering dinner that Sutton is extending to me.
"Where's Olivia?" Alex asks in confusion.
"She ended up getting a call from her oncologist to come in and discuss the results of all the tests. He worked her in to his schedule really late this afternoon. She'll drive straight here."
"Gotcha," he says, and steps back to let me pass. I look around the house with interest. Alex has settled right into a comfortable life with Sutton in her little house. It's still very much her style, but there are now touches of Alex spread throughout. Framed photos of Alex and Sutton, even Alex and his dad, grace the mantel and end tables. There's now a big leather recliner in one corner that usually has Alex's ass parked in it when we watch sports over here.
"I'm manning the grill," Alex says as he heads back toward the kitchen, which leads out onto their deck. I follow behind him, a little wary about seeing Sutton. We haven't spoken since the day I'd seen her in Olivia's apartment after her second chemo visit.
Alex has stayed strangely quiet about it and never mentioned a word about Sutton today at practice or our workout, only to say that they wanted me and Olivia to come over to dinner so we could all hang out together. I didn't think that was such a bad idea, although I'd rather have Olivia all to myself. But I figured if I was going into the dating thing with her, then I needed to actually do things with her outside of the bedroom. Because otherwise, that's just two people fucking each other, and our relationship has definitely transcended that.
I wish the weekend at the beach could have lasted longer, but we reluctantly made it back home early last evening. Olivia had to be back at work on Monday and I had an early morning practice with the team. The last two and a half days, Olivia and I spent wrapped up in each other, physically and metaphorically. I've never talked to a single human being more than I've talked to her.
And yesterday morning...when I made love to her so very sweet and gently as I promised, I almost got swept away in some weird emotion that clogged my throat and compressed down on my chest. I wanted to be careful with her, because despite how good she said she felt, she was still recovering from her treatments. I figured it might be a little difficult to hold back my baser instincts. The few times Olivia and I have fucked, I've all but lost control with her, so insane is my lust when I get inside her.
Yet oddly...I found that the slow pace I set and the quieter moans were just as much of a turn-on as going rough and fast. I could feel everything just a little more clearly...the slide of flesh against flesh, the heat of her mouth on me, the way that she pants when she's close to coming. All things I really hadn't paid much attention to, but realized yesterday are a very sensual way to experience sex.
"Hey, Alex," Sutton says softly as she stands behind the kitchen counter, cutting up vegetables. My body stiffens when I hear her voice, and I hear Alex mutter something like, "I'll just be outside so you two can talk."
"Hey," I tell her, and try to look anywhere but at her. When my gaze finally lands back her way, her eyes are full of contrition.
"I am so very sorry," Sutton says.
I can't stand that she actually sounds like she's in pain, so I hastily say, "It's okay. I'm good."
"No, it's not okay. You're right...I judged you and judged you badly. I didn't give you the benefit of the doubt. And what kills me about it is that I did the same thing to Alex when we first met, but I quickly realized he was more than what he projected on the outside. I should have known you would be the same way."
The remaining vestiges of anger seep out of me and I give her a genuine smile. "It's fine, Sutton. I get it, and when it boils down, it all worked out great for me."
She lets out a relieved gust of air and her lips tilt upward. "Oh, thank God. I was prepared to do more groveling if needed."
Sutton comes out from behind the counter and walks toward me with outstretched arms. I bend down and we hug it out, and when she pulls back, she murmurs, "You said it worked out great for you, but I'm thinking it worked out great for Olivia too."
"It's still early," I tell her as I sit down on at the kitchen table. "I could still fuck this up royally."
"Fuck what up?" I hear Olivia's voice as she strides into the kitchen. "I let myself in, by the way."
Immediately my heart feels lighter and my dick wants to come out and play with her. Man, she gets me worked up on all fronts.
I reach out and snag her hand, pulling her toward me. I bring her right down onto my lap so I can nuzzle her neck. "I was telling Sutton I could still fuck up this relationship with you. I'm so new at this whole dating/commitment/monogamy thing, I'm bound to screw up."
Olivia wraps her arms around my neck and kisses me. "Well, let's not set yourself up for failure. It's really very simple...treat me like a queen, and you can never go wrong."
"That I can do," I tell her, and kiss her back.
"Oh, my God...I think I'm going to be sick," Alex says as he walks back into the kitchen, clacking together a pair of grill tongs. "I'm not used to Garrett being so fucking mushy. Gives me the willies."
"Fuck off," I growl, and then kiss Olivia again.
"I think it's sweet," Sutton says.
Alex reaches into a cupboard and pulls out a platter. "Steaks are ready, so let's eat."
Olivia hops off my lap, much to my dismay, and says, "What can I do to help?"
After much bustling while Olivia and Sutton set the table and put out all the side dishes, Alex and I get the steaks off the grill. Well, he actually retrieves the meat, but I have supervisory duties.
After we all pop a few beers to go with our meal, we finally sit down to eat.
"This is so weird," Sutton says. "Garrett sitting here with a date."
"I've been on double dates with you two before," I mutter as I cut into my steak.
"Yeah...but never with someone that you actually like," Alex teases.
"True enough," I agree, and then I turn to Olivia. "But I'd like to hear what your doctor told you this afternoon, if you're up for sharing with us."
Olivia's face gets tight with unease, but she gives me a courageous smile, patting her lips with her napkin before setting it back on her lap. "Of course, I'll share."
I reach out and take her hand in mine, rubbing the back with my thumb. She gives me a little squeeze and lets out a faltering breath. "Yeah...so, it's definitely stage four. It's in my bone marrow...the biopsy confirmed that. There's nothing different to do, as Dr. Yoffman so
rt of expected that, given my symptoms, and started me on the appropriate treatment."
"It's okay," I reassure her, even though it feels like the bottom of my stomach has just dropped. "It's still treatable. Doesn't matter what stage...he can put it in remission."
Olivia gives me a tremulous smile, but her voice is a little shaky, even though she lifts her chin up with confidence. "Of course it will go into remission. It will be fine."
"This isn't the best news," Sutton says grimly. "But we sort of expected it. The point is, this is a treatable cancer. It's going to be fine."
"Absolutely," Alex chimes in. "You've got this beaten."
I don't even look over at Sutton and Alex as they're talking. I watch Olivia and see the way she tries to keep the smile plastered to her face, even as they try to bolster her confidence. She's struggling with it and looks like she's about to crack.
I tug on Olivia's hand and her eyes come up to meet mine. "There's something else. What else did he say?"
Olivia stares at me for just a moment, then she pushes up out of her chair. Alex, Sutton, and I watch as she walks over to the counter and turns her back on us. Placing her hands on the edge, her head hangs down heavily and she takes a deep breath. When she lets it out, she turns to us and there is stark fear in her eyes.
"I talked to Dr. Yoffman a little bit more about the long-term prognosis."
The silence in the kitchen is deafening, and I have a sick feeling that Olivia learned what I already knew. My eyes cut over to Alex and he looks at me with sympathy.
"Follicular B-cell lymphoma is treatable, but it's not considered curable. It will come back...the question is when. It may come back the same, or it may come back as a more aggressive type of cancer."
"Is it treated the same?" Sutton asks hesitantly.
"Maybe," Olivia says. "Depends on what comes back."
"But it can be treated?" Alex presses.
"Again...depends on what comes back," Olivia says. "He did say that if it comes back fairly quickly into the marrow, he would want to consider doing a stem-cell transplant. He said there is a chance it could be eradicated that way. He said that if it comes back in a more aggressive form, that's obviously bad, because the life expectancy isn't as long, but in some ways it can be good, because some of them can be curable."
I press my fingers into the bridge of my nose, because my head has started pounding. I absolutely hate what I'm hearing...not just the grim news but the fear in Olivia's voice. And I don't have a fucking clue what to do.
"He said this is a life-limiting illness because I'm so young," Olivia says in almost the barest of whispers. "He said the median life expectancy is twenty years. So I guess that means I'm going to die when I'm forty-five or so."
I shoot up out of my chair so fast, it goes crashing into the wall. Before Olivia can even gasp, I'm pulling her into my arms for a hard hug, then I pull back slightly so she can look up at me. "That is not what that means," I say fiercely. "Median life expectancy only means that in twenty years, fifty percent of the patients will have died, and fifty percent will still be alive."
"How do you know that?" Olivia asks, both suspicious and hopeful at the same time.
"I told you...I did some research. But the point is...those are just numbers. It doesn't mean anything. You could live to be a hundred, for all we know. Hell, it may not come back until you're sixty. We just don't know, but it does not mean you are going to die young. Okay?"
A slight sheen of tears well up in Olivia's eyes, but she hastily blinks them back. She gives me a hesitant nod and a tiny smile. "Are you sure about that?"
"Yes, I'm sure. Didn't you ask your doctor about what that meant?"
Olivia shakes her head. "Actually, I was so stunned by the twenty years, I didn't think to ask him to clarify. But he did tell me that people are living longer and longer with this disease as newer and better treatments are developed."
"Baby," I say gently as I hold her with my eyes and my arms. "The numbers reflect nothing more than odds. They don't take into account your spirit and your will to battle. They don't have a damn thing to do with how hard you fight, and those numbers are too far into the future for you to even pay them any mind right now. You focus on the fight that is right here on your doorstep. You've got six months of treatment...six hard months of fighting what you have now. That's all you need to worry your beautiful head about, and the most important thing to remember is you have us, and Stevie, and your mom. We are by your side and you are going to prevail. Those numbers don't have shit on Olivia Case, and that's something you can bet on."
Olivia's head drops to my chest and her arms come around my waist. She squeezes me hard and mumbles, "That was probably the best thing you could have ever said to me. I think you have this dating thing down pat."
All of us laugh, happy that Olivia has brought humor into the mix and relieved to have the tension broken. I meant every word that I said to Olivia...that it was too premature for her to be worrying about this stuff. I hope she lets it go, because she needs to concentrate on her imminent battle.
Besides...I'm going to be worrying about it enough for the both of us.
--
I unfortunately had to bid Olivia good night as we left Alex and Sutton's house. We stood out in the driveway by her car and made out for a bit, which made my nuts ache for about an hour after we parted ways.
I had a team group run at six in the morning, so it was too difficult to stay at her place all the way over in Chapel Hill, and Olivia wanted to get in to work early since she had been out for a few days. It's the first night we've not slept in the same bed in four days, and I'm not sure how I feel about it. Every night...it's felt so natural to have her fall asleep in my arms. On the flipside, I'm not sure people that just start dating really spend that much time together. Maybe I need to slow it down, as I don't want to overwhelm her.
But then again, Olivia and I don't have a normal dating relationship. Most people get to laugh and talk about lighthearted stuff. We get to talk about cancer. In some ways, it's tightened our bond, but in other ways, it makes me wonder if I've missed out on something crucial that she may want or need in a relationship.
I know one thing is for sure, starting tomorrow...I want to try to get her back to her normal lifestyle. She has two and a half weeks until her next treatment. I have two weeks until the regular season starts, although I'll be traveling for a few preseason games next week. I want to immerse Olivia in as much fun as I can muster up for her, and help take her mind off the dark things she learned today.
Chapter 16
Olivia
"Oh, my God...I can't believe how freakin' excited I am to see Garrett play," I say as I nudge Sutton on the shoulder.
"Calm down there, frisky," Sutton says with a grin. "I don't want you peeing your pants."
"You know...I always want to jump Garrett's bones, but I think I'm going to just spontaneously combust when he comes out on the ice."
Sutton starts snickering, but then leans over and whispers to me conspiratorially, "I know exactly what you mean. Something about Alex in his hockey gear...let me just say, home game nights are always the best in our house."
I nod over her sage advice, and I'm sure things are about to get hotter between Garrett and me once the season starts. Although...it's going to be pretty hard to top what we've done so far. While Garrett and I didn't stay together Monday night because of his early-morning run, he's stayed the last two nights at my apartment, and we are pretty much insatiable around each other.
Now that Garrett is convinced I'm back to feeling one hundred percent of my normal self, I think he's made it his mission to pound me practically through the mattress. My muscles are always a little sore the next morning, but, damn...so worth it.
Just this morning, we both overslept because we had stayed up until the wee hours of the morning banging out multiple orgasms. I hastily jumped in the shower, shouting a quick goodbye to Garrett, who had just about enough time to make it back t
o Raleigh and skid into his practice on time. I had been under the hot spray of water for no more than ten seconds when Garrett was stepping into the shower behind me.
"What are you doing?" I practically screeched, because he scared the hell out of me.
He wrapped one arm around my waist and the other dropped down between my legs while his erection burned against my backside. The minute his fingers hit my clit, my head dropped back on his shoulder and I managed to moan out, "But you'll be late for practice."
"Maybe not," he growled into my ear just before nipping it with his teeth. "Depends how fast I can get you and me off."
Turns out...it took less than a minute for me the first time, and a satisfying seven minutes later, I had come fantastically again, and Garrett followed right behind me. As he gave me a swift kiss and jumped out of the shower, he grinned at me and said, "So worth it to be a few minutes late."
"What happens if you're late?" I asked, even as he walked out of the bathroom.
"Extra drills," he shouted back so I could hear him over the water. "But again...so worth it."
I giggled and then hurried up with the rest of my shower, because I didn't want to be late to work. After I got dressed, I couldn't help but melt further when I saw the note that Garrett had left.
Made you a bagel. On counter. Again, the extra drills are worth it.
I read the stupid note probably three times while I ate my breakfast, my smile getting wider and wider. When I got down to my car, I found a little wildflower--really just a weed of a flower--stuck underneath my windshield wiper, and I literally sighed like a simpering schoolgirl.
I know Garrett had doubts about his dating abilities, but so far...he is nailing it. Forget how sweet he is and the little things he does to brighten my day. Forget about the way he dominates my body in bed and is never satisfied until I've been satisfied more than him. Yes, forget all of those things. The reason he's nailing it is because he has chosen to be with a woman that has cancer, even knowing that it's ugly, brutal, and terrifying. He's taking a risk with his heart, made even more magnanimous by the fact that he's not really been in a real relationship before. At least not to my knowledge. He's taking his first foray into the monogamy game, and he's chosen a hard bet.