LETTER XLII
MISS CLARISSA HARLOWE [IN CONTINUATION.]
But this subject must not be pursued. Another might, with more pleasure,(though not with more approbation,) upon one of your lively excursions.It is upon the high airs you give yourself upon the word approve.
How comes it about, I wonder, that a young lady so noted forpredominating generosity, should not be uniformly generous? That yourgenerosity should fail in an instance where policy, prudence, gratitude,would not permit it to fail? Mr. Hickman (as you confess) had indeed aworthy mind. If I had not long ago known that, he would never have foundan advocate in me for my Anna Howe's favour to him. Often and oftenhave I been concerned, when I was your happy guest, to see him, after aconversation, in which he had well supported his part in your absence,sink at once into silence the moment you came into company.
I have told you of this before: and I believe I hinted to you once,that the superciliousness you put on only to him, was capable of aconstruction, which at the time would have very little gratified yourpride to have had made; since it would have been as much in his favour,as in your disfavour.
Mr. Hickman, my dear, is a modest man. I never see a modest man, but Iam sure (if he has not wanted opportunities) that he has a treasure inhis mind, which requires nothing but the key of encouragement to unlockit, to make him shine--while a confident man, who, to be confident,must think as meanly of his company as highly of himself, enters withmagisterial airs upon any subject; and, depending upon his assurance tobring himself off when found out, talks of more than he is master of.
But a modest man!--O my dear, shall not a modest woman distinguish andwish to consort with a modest man?--A man, before whom, and to whom shemay open her lips secure of his good opinion of all she says, and of hisjust and polite regard for her judgment? and who must therefore inspireher with an agreeable self-confidence.
What a lot have I drawn!--We are all indeed apt to turn teachers--but,surely, I am better enabled to talk, to write, upon these subjects,than ever I was. But I will banish myself, if possible, from an addresswhich, when I began to write, I was determined to confine wholly to yourown particular.
My dearest, dearest friend, how ready are you to tell us what othersshould do, and even what a mother should have done! But indeed you once,I remember, advanced, that, as different attainments required differenttalents to master them, so, in the writing way, a person might not be abad critic upon the works of others, although he might himself be unableto write with excellence. But will you permit me to account for all thisreadiness of finding fault, by placing it to human nature, which, beingsensible of the defects of human nature, (that is to say, of its owndefects,) loves to be correcting? But in exercising that talent, choosesrather to turn its eye outward than inward? In other words, to employitself rather in the out-door search, than in the in-door examination.
And here give me leave to add, (and yet it is with tender reluctance,)that although you say very pretty things of notable wives; andalthough I join with you in opinion, that husbands may have as manyinconveniencies to encounter with, as conveniencies to boast of, fromwomen, of that character; yet Lady Hartley perhaps would have had mildertreatment from your pen, had it not been dipped in gall with a mother inyour eye.
As to the money, you so generously and repeatedly offer, don't be angrywith me, if I again say, that I am very desirous that you should be ableto aver, without the least qualifying or reserve, that nothing of thatsort has passed between us. I know your mother's strong way of puttingthe question she is intent upon having answered. But yet I promise thatI will be obliged to nobody but you, when I have occasion.