Jessica returned to her chair and after a few moments said, “Do you know Robert Burns?”
“Does he live in Glenbrooke?”
“No, Robert Burns the Scottish poet. I had to memorize some of his work in college, and one of his prayers just came to me. Would you mind if I quoted it to you?”
Teri shrugged, and Jessica plunged in.
Thou knowest that Thou hast formed me
With passions wild and strong;
And listening to their witching voice
Has often led me wrong.
Where with intention I have erred,
No other plea I have,
But, Thou art good; and Goodness still
Delighteth to forgive.
Teri tried to remember Jessica’s quote after she left. She agreed that her passions were wild and strong indeed. And, as she thought about forgiveness, a long flow of prayers tumbled from her lips. “Father, I did err with my intentions, didn’t I? I was so eager to love and be loved that I was willing to commit myself to Scott even though he barely knew you. I was looking on the outside. You look on the heart. Oh, God please forgive me. Cleanse me. Prepare me for the right man. A man who loves you and who wants to spend the rest of his life loving me.”
It helped to pour out her heart in prayer. However, Teri couldn’t help but feel her prayer for such a man was a bit of a dreamer’s lark. It was hard to believe such a man existed on planet earth.
Chapter Twenty-Six
Within two weeks of Teri’s return from Maui she was becoming her old self again. Life in Glenbrooke was pleasant, and her days were filled with good friends and lots of summer garage sales. The intense desire for a husband that had driven her to Maui seemed to be subsiding as she prepared for another year of teaching at Glenbrooke High School.
Anita had called the Sunday after Teri had returned to Oregon. Within the first five minutes of their conversation, Teri felt as if everything were peaceful between them. Annie mentioned briefly that Dan was thinking about taking some correspondence courses in business. As a result of the tamale idea, Dan had discovered he had more of a head for business than he had realized. Annie saw it as something good that had come out of the whole tamale thing, and she thanked Teri for allowing Dan to drag her through such extensive plans, even though it was a far-fetched idea. Teri was comforted to know Dan wasn’t mad at her for backing out.
On the fourth Sunday after she had returned, it was Teri’s turn to call Annie. She decided the time had come to ask about Scott.
“Scott?” Annie said in a teasing voice. “Who’s Scott?”
“Come on, Anita. Don’t be like that. Have you seen him or talked to him?”
“Not since the day you left when he came over here and tried to talk you out of your decision to dump him.”
“I didn’t dump him,” Teri said, silently remembering how strained that conversation had been. Scott had showed up at the front door right after she had climbed out of the shower. Her hair was dripping wet, and she stood in the living room, wrapped up in Dan’s robe that had been hanging on the bathroom door. Scott had said he wanted to know if he could say or do anything to change her mind. She told him it had become clear to her that they were each in search of two completely different relationships. She was looking for a relationship that would lead to marriage. Scott had said, “I’m not the kind who can make a lifelong commitment like that. Why can’t you be willing to take it as it comes?”
Teri had used his phrase back on him. “Because I guess I’m not the kind who can take it as it comes. I need a lifelong commitment.”
Scott had looked deep into her eyes and said, “So for you, it’s marriage or nothing.”
Teri nodded.
“Too bad,” Scott said, running his finger along her cheek and grasping a handful of her curls one last time. “We’ll never know how good we could have been together.” And then he had left.
Teri shook the memory from her mind and spoke into the receiver. “Scott and I agreed it wasn’t working out. It wasn’t meant to be. I didn’t dump him.”
“You don’t have to try to convince me that you two weren’t meant to be,” Annie said. “I never thought it would work out. I just wish you hadn’t gone through so much grief coming to the same conclusion.”
“Yes, all-wise and all-knowing sister, I know, I know. I guess I kind of hoped against hope that maybe Scott had started going to church on his own or something.”
“Nope. Oh, but Gordon sends his love.”
Teri felt a funny, warm sensation at Annie’s words. Even though Gordon was peculiar, he was one of the kinder, friendlier memories of her vacation. She never had told Annie or anyone else about Gordon’s ridiculous gesture at Kimo’s. She had written his comical proposal off to Gordon being on Annie and Dan’s side when it came to opinions about Scott. When Gordon heard Scott’s comments about not planning to marry her and wanting to just live with her, Gordon obviously had tried to sidetrack Teri’s attention and get her mind off Scott. He probably had thought his antics worked since Teri and Scott broke up. But she had made that decision before Gordon spilled the tea.
She hadn’t seen Gordon again before she left the islands. If she had, she probably would have patted him on the back and thanked him for his last ditch effort to divert her from Scott Robinson, even though it was unnecessary.
“How is the ol’ Gordo?” Teri asked.
“He leaves tomorrow to go back to seminary on the mainland. He preached this morning, and Teri, you should have been there. That man has the hand of God on him.”
“It’s probably a good thing,” Teri said. “Otherwise he would be tripping all over the place.”
“That’s not nice! You know he has an equilibrium problem, don’t you?”
“Yes, I know very well.” She proceeded to tell Anita about the incident on the rocks that had brought Teri tumbling into the ocean.
“I didn’t know that! Why didn’t you tell me when you were here?”
“I didn’t tell you a lot of things, Annie, and I regret that now. I wish I had the whole summer to do over again. I’m glad I went through everything I did, but I wish I could have figured out all this relationship stuff in high school, like most people do. I was not at my best this summer.”
“Yeah, well I was no picnic to be around, and I’m sorry for that. I’m starting to feel better now that I’m in my second trimester. My system and my hormones seem to be balancing out a little better. At least that’s what Dan says.”
“And the doctor? What does he have to say?”
“I don’t go again for two more weeks, but so far everything is great. With the other two babies I didn’t make it this far into the pregnancy, so I’m feeling pretty good about that, too. It’s been a day-by-day, step-of-faith time for me.”
“You know, even though this summer was not at all how I thought it would be, I’m still glad I was able to be there when you found out you were pregnant.”
“I’m glad you were here, too. When are you coming back?”
“Oh … maybe never.”
Annie laughed. “Come on, you have to come see your niece.”
“Your nephew,” Dan shouted in the background.
“Did you hear that?” Anita said.
“Yes. Tell Dan he’s outnumbered two to one in favor of a girl.”
“I’ll tell him. I have to get going. I’ll send you a tape of Gordon’s sermon from this morning.”
The tape came a week and a half later, and Teri put it on the bookshelf in her bedroom where it collected dust for weeks. The school year was off to a promising start, and Teri was caught up in all the activity. Glenbrooke High’s principal, Mr. McGregor, returned after suffering a stroke the year before, which had kept him out the entire school year. The interim principal, Charlotte Mendelson, had run off the last week of school with the football coach. For this small town, it had been a major scandal. Many of the parents were concerned about what kind of school year they could expect in the fall. But
with the return of Hugh McGregor, the whole community seemed to breathe easier and parental involvement was at an all-time high.
Teri’s schedule consisted of three beginning Spanish classes made up mostly of freshmen. She had two intermediate classes, which were a mix of grade levels, and then her favorite, the advanced class of fourteen bright seniors, fell on her last period of the day.
As she had for the past three years, Teri helped out with the high school group at church. Many of the students were in her classes, which meant she had a close rapport with them.
Kyle was the volunteer youth director at their church, and Jessica was involved right beside him. She taught high school English, and her classroom was next to Teri’s.
Everything seemed normal, steady, busy, fulfilling. No new and interesting men had moved to Glenbrooke. None of the old, familiar single guys took up an interest in Teri. It was the same old situation. Yet she settled into her routine, feeling moderately content and fully herself.
Only when her life was back in full swing did she realize how crazy the summer had been. Never again would she allow herself to go through such a personality transformation in a quest for a spouse. If God wanted her to be married, she decided that he would have to do it, as Jessica had reminded her, in a supernatural way.
The second week of December, Teri finally gave in to a cold that had been pestering her since Thanksgiving. She called in sick on Tuesday and spent the day in bed. The next morning she woke to find that her voice was gone. It made it tricky to call in sick. She whispered her message into the answering machine at 7:30 and hoped the secretary would be able to decode it. The laryngitis lasted three long and boring days.
On Friday afternoon she came across the tape of Gordon’s sermon, popped it into her Walkman, and went about her chosen therapy of making a huge batch of tamales. It was the first time she had embarked on the lengthy project since Maui, and she felt melancholy.
Then she switched on the tape, and Gordon’s smooth voice with its charming accent filled her ears and ran right through her. She had never heard anyone preach with such clarity and compassion. It was as if he were speaking to one person, sharing his heart openly and unashamedly. At the center of his heart was his clear love for God.
The approach was completely different from her father’s. Her dad preached loud, with powerful words and grand hand gestures.
She enjoyed Gordon’s message so much that she listened to it twice and rewound it at the end to catch the final few lines of his unique benediction again.
“Until,” Gordon said. “Until that day. And may we live today as if tomorrow were that day.”
She had heard him say his “until” salutation more than once but had never imagined what he meant by it. Now she thought his reference to “that day” might mean the day a believer dies and goes to be with the Lord. Or maybe he meant the day that Jesus returns. At any rate, the thought was intriguing, living today as if tomorrow one would stand face-to-face with Jesus.
By six o’clock that evening the tamales were completed, and the kitchen was a disaster. The doorbell rang. Kyle stood there with a pizza box in his hands. Jessica was beside him, holding a grocery bag.
“Did you know,” Kyle said in a deep voice, “that the best cure for laryngitis is an extra large with pepperoni?”
Teri smiled at her buddies and welcomed them inside.
“Smells like you already have dinner going,” Kyle said, whiffing the air like Smoky the Bear. “And if you don’t mind my saying, it smells better than what we brought you.”
Teri pulled a large Ziploc bag full of tamales from the refrigerator and handed them to Kyle with a big smile.
“Oh, no, Teri, I was only kidding. I don’t want to take your tamales.”
She opened the refrigerator and freezer at the same time, exposing her blow-out supply of tamales. “Did you make all these?” Jessica asked, looking stunned. She wasn’t much of a cook, having grown up with servants and chefs.
Teri nodded and gestured that Kyle should take the tamales and warm them up in the steamer on the stove.
“Well, if you insist,” Kyle said. “Maybe just one. Or two.”
“Or the whole bag,” Jessica teased. Turning to Teri she said, “You’ve just made my husband a very happy man. The only thing I’ve successfully prepared for him so far is Marie Callender’s frozen lasagna, which I cooked in the microwave.”
“Now, Jess, that’s not true. One night you made that really good meat loaf.”
“I hate to break it to you, honey. That one came from a Marie Callender box too.”
“Man, do these smell good,” Kyle said, going about his tamale preparation with gusto. “You should sell these, Teri. You could make a fortune!”
Teri rolled her eyes while Jessica filled in the words for her. “Don’t you remember, Kyle? That’s what she was thinking about doing on Maui. The guy she was dating and her brother-in-law were going to set her up in business.”
“Oh, yeah,” Kyle said.
“He doesn’t remember,” Jessica said to Teri on the side.
Teri motioned with her hand that it didn’t matter. She pulled some plates from the cupboard. She had thirty-two plates in her cupboard, all fine china, from garage sales. Only two of them matched, which was her decorating scheme. Most of her house was done in simple ivory colors. The walls, the counters, and floors were all off-white. Even her couch was a sandy beige. But her accessories were a bright patchwork of colors. She had fabric covers on her kitchen chairs, each chair a different fabric. Her couch was lined with pillows in a zoo of shapes and colors. Throughout her house were lively pockets of color and design.
Some people were bothered by it, saying it didn’t follow a set pattern. Teri didn’t care. It was she.
In every way her life matched her home: the basic pattern was there, but the details were less predictable.
She reached for some glasses and was about to fill them with water when Jessica opened the grocery bag. “I brought some Snapple,” she said. “And of course,” she reached her hand into the bottom of the bag and produced a box of DoveBars, “the essential ingredient for any successful dinner party. I just thought of something, though. How are we going to fit these into that packed freezer?” Jessica tore open the box.
“Oh, you guys, they’re starting to melt. I guess we’ll have to eat our dessert first. Here, Teri.” Jessica handed Teri one of the ice cream bars and another one to Kyle. “Cheers!” They all laughed and “toasted” with their DoveBars.
Teri chomped into her bar and thought how blessed she was to have friends like Kyle and Jessica. She would have missed both of them if she had moved to Maui.
Just then the phone rang. Teri attempted to answer it. Her “hello” came out froggy.
“Is Teri there?”
“This is Teri.”
Her voice sounded so deep and raspy that the person asked again. “Is Teri Moreno there?”
“It’s me,” she barked. “I have laryngitis.”
“Oh, Teri, you sound awful. It’s Lauren. I hope I’m not bothering you.”
Teri hadn’t heard from her old college roommate in months. They kept in contact only through occasional phone calls and Christmas and birthday cards. Teri gestured to Kyle and Jessica to excuse her and took the phone into the living room.
“How are you?” Teri rasped out.
“Well, actually,” Lauren said slowly, “I’m doing quite well.”
“Good!”
“I received your Christmas card,” Lauren continued. “And I realized I hadn’t talked to you in a long time so you didn’t know what was happening in my life. I was going to write you, but then I thought it would be easier if I called.”
“Let me guess,” Teri whispered. “You’ve moved up the wedding date.”
Lauren and Jeff had been engaged since Easter. They had been dating for almost a year, ever since Lauren had returned to her hometown in Tennessee. She had graduated from college two years after Teri, then s
pent a year trying to find a permanent job in California. Finally Lauren had given up and gone home. That’s when she had met Jeff. He was the best thing that had happened to her in a long time.
Lauren paused before saying, “Actually, Jeff and I broke up. I know I should have told you sooner, but I didn’t realize until I received your Christmas card that you didn’t know.”
“Oh, Lauren, I’m sorry!” Teri finally said.
“I am, too,” Lauren said in a whisper laced with much pain.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
By the time Teri finished her conversation with Lauren, she felt exhausted. Her throat throbbed from straining it.
“I’m sorry,” Teri whispered to Jessica and Kyle as she walked back into the kitchen. They were standing by the sink, their dinners already finished and their dirty plates on the counter. And they were wrapped up in a tender embrace with their eyes closed. They didn’t notice that Teri had entered. It was a beautiful sight after what she had just heard on the phone.
Teri tapped a bottle of Snapple on the counter, and Jessica jumped and pulled away, slightly blushing. Kyle smiled as if he had nothing to be embarrassed about and kept his arm around Jessica’s shoulder.
“I’m sorry. That was my college roommate,” Teri explained hoarsely. “She was calling to tell me her engagement is broken.”
“Is she going to be okay?” Jessica asked.
“She sounded like it. Lauren is a strong person.”
“Where does she live?” Kyle asked.
“Tennessee.”
“Do you think you should go be with her?” Jessica said. “I know that’s kind of far, but …”
“Does she need to get away?” Kyle asked. “She could come here. There’s plenty of room at our house, and when we move out next week, she could stay there as long as she needed to.”
Teri shrugged, trying to use her facial expressions to convey her appreciation and save her voice. “I don’t know what she’s going to do. She didn’t seem to have her next step figured out yet. She has a job at a bank, but that’s not what she really wants to do. She was an art major in college.”