CHAPTER TEN
I slept deeper that night than I had all week, and when I woke up on Friday I was set on making sure that nothing would bring me down, not even that bitch Mina and her constant taunting.
I made last-minute plans to drive to the city with Dani to hang out with her and a girl named Alexa, who was best friends with Dani in middle school but had moved right before they started high school. I felt like a third wheel for the first couple of hours of shopping (apparently Alexa needed help from Dani to pick out an outfit to wear to a wedding), but once were done we headed downtown to pretended to be tourists and I felt more comfortable goofing off with them. We ate at a little hole-in-the-wall Chinese place that had the best won ton soup I had ever eaten, and ended the evening by seeing a kung fu film at the university's theater.
Dani and I talked and laughed all the way home. She assured me that Alexa really, really liked me and that we should totally all hang out again. It was nice to know I was back on good terms with her and was thrilled when she said, "Courtney is holding a pool party at her parents' house tomorrow afternoon. Her parents are loaded and it's a heated pool with a waterfall and everything. Do you wanna come?"
"Aw, man, thanks so much for inviting me. You have no idea how much I appreciate it. But I actually have a date tomorrow afternoon. If there are any other parties, though, let me know and I'll totally come."
Dani gave an excited squeal. "Oh my gosh! You have a date?! How exciting! Who is it with?!"
"Dane. He took me home yesterday and asked me to go on a hike with him tomorrow." Her reaction couldn't have been more different than how she had reacted a few seconds earlier. She was still smiling, but it was so forced that I would have felt better if she had been frowning. All the excitement was gone from her voice and she said, "How nice. That's super nice. Dane is a really nice guy. I know he'll take you out on a really nice date."
"What's wrong?"
"Nothing, why?"
"Never mind." I don't know what had changed, but I wasn't going to argue with Dani again, not since we had only just gotten back on good terms. We drove the rest of the way home in silence, and the only thing she said to me when she dropped me off at my house was a bitter, "I'll see you Monday.”
The next morning I had butterflies in my stomach. I wasn't the most popular girl in school in San Francisco and had only gone out on one date once before moving, and it was in a big group for a Sadies Hawkins dance, so I didn't really count it.
Dad was doing a good job pulling double parenting duty, even though it stressed him out. He had breakfast ready to go by nine, and even though he wasn't that great at cooking on his own it wasn't that bad. I noticed as he was cleaning up the cooking area that he looked like he hadn't gotten any sleep. Worse than that, even. His hair was all mussed up and the skin around his eyes was all droopy and dark. The skin around his mouth was turning dark, too, and I wondered if that was a side effect of losing sleep. Not having mom around was really taking a toll on him.
I rinsed my dishes off and put them away, and made sure to give him a hug and say, "It's Saturday. Get some rest. You're doing a good job, Dad."
He said something to himself as I turned the corner out of the kitchen. I didn't want to say for certain what it was, but it sounded something like, "No, I'm not." Poor dad. I resolved to make dinner as often as I could until Mom got back. Hopefully that would help.
I had managed to carry my happiness buzz from the day before over into my morning. I had never, ever felt so emotional before. The wards my parents had made for my necklace were able to keep my emotions and temper in check, but in a way that made everything seem so dull. It was like I had been living my life in a film that had a sepia tint to it, but now the filter was gone and everything seemed bright and vibrant. I pushed my bed aside so that it was in the corner of my room. This cleared up enough space in the center of my room that I could try to dance without worrying about knocking anything over or running into my furniture. I found one of my favorite rock albums and turned it on to a random track. Even though it wasn’t the same as dancing in the studio, I could have danced for the whole CD and had to stop myself so I didn't risk tiring out. I needed to keep some energy as I was going on a hike later.
Now that I knew that dancing was what helped maintain my balance between fire and being a sane human being, I had this energetic buzz when I was done. I was so happy to have found this outlet and nervous about my date with Dane and sad that mom was gone and dad was stressed out and angry at Jack for just disappearing and letting Mina taunt me, and I felt all these things at once but I didn't feel the need to do anything about it, I was just able to choose to feel happy and a little nervous and let the other emotions be there, just sitting in the back of my mind, out of sight. As I packed up my backpack with trail mix and water for the hike, I grabbed my necklace, thought about putting it on, but stuffed it in a side pocket instead. I'd put it on if I felt I needed it, but I doubted it.
Dane picked me up at noon and we took the main highway into the mountains. It was about an hour long ride, but it passed by quickly. Dane and I got along so well - it was more like talking to someone I had known since I was a little kid rather than someone I had hardly spent any time with.
As he promised, the trail was gorgeous. The aspen tree leaves had turned a bright yellow, and paired against the white bark of the trees themselves it felt like we were walking through a tunnel of pure golden light.
"What are you doing when you graduate?" I asked at one point.
"I'm not sure," he chuckled nervously. "I know I should have already been applying for colleges, but I'm just not interested in earning a degree. I got this job over the summer and I realized that I really like doing hands-on work so much better than studying. My grades this year suck, and I just have a hard time caring. I do well in English, and that's about it. Maybe I'll find a job or go to trade school or something."
"What was this job you worked?"
"I worked at an antiques restoration and custom furniture store. There was a job fair at the end of school last year and this man hired me and a bunch of other kids to learn the trade over the summer. I know it doesn’t really sound exciting, but we found so many cool old things, and did a lot of really unusual custom jobs. This man said that I have a rally natural talent for it, and even offered to pay me really well if I quit school and did an apprenticeship with him. Can you believe that you can actually do that anymore? You hear the word apprentice and think of medieval times, but I guess there’s a lot of people who go into crafting trades that don’t have a complete education and are really successful. I declined, obviously, but even though I don’t work there now I’m studying the craft and practicing in my free time so I can go back next summer and maybe get a permanent decision. It was just really satisfying, seeing how our work made others so happy, and ever since I saw the way that something I made brought someone such great happiness, that's what I've wanted to do. It wouldn't pay well, but I don't really want to live in high society. I just wanna be able to pay rent, is all." Wow. I loved that he knew exactly what he wanted to do – could he be any more ideal? "So what about you, Kenna? I know you still have a little bit to go before graduation, but you're probably thinking of taking the SAT this year and applying for colleges and stuff, right?"
I didn't answer right away. I stopped, and turned my face up to the sun, feeling its warmth. I laughed in delight when I realized that the sun was really just a giant fireball, and opened my arms to welcome it into my life as my brother.
"You know, if you had asked me this time last year I could have told you without a doubt what I wanted to do. My plan was to graduate with at least a 3.5 GPA and an SAT score good enough to get me into a really good university. I was going to study law and go back to San Francisco to become a lawyer for those that society discriminates against - minorities, women, gays and lesbians. Everyone has the right to be happy and I imagined myself as their k
night in shining armor."
He gave me this strange look. I frowned, wondering if I said something that offended him. "Well, here I was thinking I was a good person for doing something useful regardless of what it pays. You want to better yourself AND the world. I can't compete with that." I was worried until he smiled, showing me he was kidding around with me. "So what changed? How would you answer that question now?"
We started hiking again. "I discovered the world is much bigger than I thought it was. I feel so insignificant and helpless now, and know that there are people impacting the world in a way I can't possibly compete with."
"You don't really believe that, do you? I think you're an amazing person and that you're capable of great things."
"Ha. Thanks for the compliment, but no offense, you don't really know me that well."
"I'm really good at reading people, though, and I can assure you, I know that you're not a normal girl." I looked at his face, trying to read what he meant by that. He couldn't possibly know, could he?
"What, NOW you're upset that I'm paying you a compliment? I just mean that you're really passionate and interesting, and I'm sure that whatever you decide to do, you'll be the best at." Oh. Good. He was just flirting with me - he hadn't found out about my fire affinity or my parents. I was relieved - I was enjoying being a normal girl on a date with a normal boy.
The hike was only about forty minutes long, making it more of a nature walk than a hike. The trail ended at a waterfall, and we stopped to take pictures in front of it and drink some water. As we sat and admired the surroundings, Dane said, "Places like this give me hope for the planet. There are too many people and even our little city I feel like we just completely disregard the fact that we're destroying our environment."
"Oddly hippie-like views for someone that drives a gas-guzzling pickup truck," I jokingly observed.
He shrugged. "My parents bought for me. But it's the truth - Mother Nature is a powerful force, and I hope one day the people that have been harming her pay for what they've done."
"I think hoping for vengeance is a little extreme, don't you think?"
"You don't think that this world could do without some of the people in it?"
"My parents raised me to believe in balance. I accept the evil in the world because I can recognize the good in it. I can do my best to contribute to the good, and encourage those that fight for good to keep doing what they're doing, but it would be unrealistic to believe that we can get of all the bad in the world. And... I dunno. Some bad things have happened to me lately, and I think that if I hadn't gone through them I wouldn't appreciate the good things in my life right now as much. Like being here here with you." I blushed and looked sheepishly at the ground at that last part.
"Hey," he said quietly to get me to look at me again. Before I could react, he quickly leaned in for a kiss. It was soft, chaste, and, to be honest, I was a little disappointed at how short it was. He looked me in the eyes and said, "Being here with you makes me happy, too."
We hiked back mostly in silence - not because it was awkward, but because we were happy to just be with each other. Our conversation picked up again when we arrived at the cafe, and we talked about everything that came to mind. One minute we'd be talking about politics and ten minutes later we'd be laughing about the playground games we played as kids. We were there for hours and had to keep ordering pastries and drinks even after we finished dinner so we wouldn't be kicked out.
Dane dropped me off at home and walked me up to the doorstep. "Thank you for taking me out today. I had so much fun." I gave him a kiss on the cheek (I was not quite as bold as he was for a first date), and let myself in the house before he could make a move on his own. Through the screen door I bid him goodnight.
"You sleep well tonight,” he said. "And... I'm not the kind to play the game of waiting a couple of days before calling you again. Can I take you out again soon?"
I grinned like an idiot. "Absolutely."