I slowly lowered myself; my eyes were already fluttering shut with how different everything felt in this position. I bit down on my bottom lip and curled my arms around his shoulders as I tried to hold on. It felt like at any second I would be lost—but being lost in Eli didn’t sound like a bad thing.
My breathing turned ragged when I got closer to another orgasm; my mind was so consumed in the feel I didn’t notice Eli switching which fingers were inside me until one was pushing against no-man’s-land again.
I stiffened and wanted to get away from it again, but I was so close, and Eli’s calming voice had me staying where I was.
“Trust me, Pay.”
His finger pushed in slowly as I kept moving against him, and my face tightened against the foreign pressure. “Please,” I whimpered.
But I didn’t know what I was begging for. Please stop. Please don’t stop. Because the pressure was still building—faster now, and I found myself pressing back against him instead of trying to get away from him.
“God, Eli, please.”
Too much. Too much. He was everywhere, and I knew if I let go, it was all going to be too much.
When it felt like I couldn’t take any more of him, the pressure on my clit increased and I came with a sharp cry. It wasn’t like before. It didn’t feel like I was shattering. It felt like I was weightless, floating, nothing until everything came crashing down in a heavy rush that began in my stomach and spread all the way to my fingers and toes.
“Pay?” Eli asked softly a few moments later.
“Hmm?” I managed to force from my chest. My forehead was pressed to his neck, my cheek was against his collarbone, and my body was slumped against his as I waited to come back to earth.
“You okay?”
“That was . . . that . . .” I trailed off, and gave up on trying to explain the experience as well as my discomfort and pleasure with it.
“I need to know if you’re okay,” he prompted. When I just nodded, he chuckled and wrapped his arms tight around me. “Thank you for trusting me.”
“Always,” I muttered.
He held me until my eyes started drifting shut, and when I felt myself being moved, I blinked slowly up at him.
“Where are you going?”
Eli laughed huskily. “I’m gonna take a shower.”
My eyes slid down to his erection, and I sat up on the bed. “Please, let me.”
With a searing kiss, he laid me back down on the bed. “These weeks are about you, I can take care of me.”
“Eli—”
“Sleep, Pay. I love you.”
I watched him walk into the bathroom, and tried to tell myself to get up and go to him, but my eyes were already shutting again by the time I heard the water turn on.
September 22, 2013
Eli
SHUTTING THE FRONT door softly behind me, I took a few steps in the direction of my bedroom and listened for any movement. When there wasn’t any, I turned and walked through my apartment and into my kitchen. Setting down the coffees and breakfast on the island, I sorted everything out before heading back toward my bedroom.
As I cracked open the door, my heart pounded against my chest when I saw Paisley lying on her stomach on my bed, right knee pulled up to the side.
Years of not seeing what was right in front of me . . . and somehow it still felt like I couldn’t believe she was finally mine. Somehow I’d known what she meant to me. I’d known and had just been too stupid.
Crawling onto the bed, I knelt down above her and placed light kisses on the back of her neck, moving around to her cheek.
“Wake up, beautiful girl.”
She squinted up at me for a second before closing her eyes again and trying to burrow under the comforter.
Brushing back her dark hair, wild from sleep, I let my lips trail across her exposed cheekbone and up over her eyebrow. “It’s Sunday morning, I have coffee and breakfast.”
“Sounding better,” she mumbled.
“I’ll give you the first bite?” I offered.
“Gettin’ there.”
“I need you to wake up so I can kiss you. It’s been hours.”
Her lips curved up in a smile. “Poor you.”
Nibbling on her ear, I whispered, “And I have a lot of touching to do.”
Red stained her porcelain cheeks when I leaned back, and her eyes were wide when she turned her head to look up at me. “Do you now?”
Keeping my weight on one arm, I pulled the comforter down enough so I could trail my free hand along her side until I got to where the shirt she was wearing had ridden up to her hips. Paisley pushed her ass up when I moved my hand between her and the bed, and as soon as I had my hands between her legs, she quickly wiggled away from the comforter and me, and jumped off the bed.
“What—”
She darted out of the room and down the hall, and I scrambled off the bed and took off after her. I found her standing in the kitchen taking a long drink from one of the coffee cups, and raised an eyebrow at her as I walked to stand behind her.
“So you run from me now?”
Tilting her head back so it was resting against my chest, she gave me a doe-eyed look. “You promised coffee and breakfast.”
“I did.”
“And then there were some things you wanted to do . . . so coffee and breakfast first.”
I planted my chin on her head when she looked down to unwrap one of the sandwiches. “I didn’t mean for those to be in order,” I grumbled.
She handed me the sandwich after checking it. “Well, you got your way last night, so I’m getting my way this morning.”
A slow grin crossed my face. “You enjoyed it.”
Paisley stilled against my body. “That’s embarrassing.”
Tossing the sandwich back on the island, I turned her around and bent down to look directly in her eyes. “Did you enjoy it, yes or no? Because if you didn’t, tell me now, Paisley, and I’ll never do that to you again.”
Her cheeks flushed again and she looked away for a second. “I did, I just—I don’t know how to feel about the fact that I did. Like I said, it’s embarrassing.”
“Don’t be embarrassed,” I begged her. “It felt good for you, and I loved watching you come undone in my arms—that’s all that matters.”
“Still embarrassing,” she muttered as she turned back around and grabbed for her own sandwich.
“You’ll beg for it one day,” I assured her.
“Eli!”
“What?”
“I would really like to eat, and I’m not going to be able to if you keep talking about that.”
I was glad she couldn’t see me smiling. Picking up my food, I unwrapped it and held it in front of her for her to take the first bite before taking my own.
“Pay, can I ask you something?” I asked when I’d finished my food.
She turned around and leaned against the island, and just raised an eyebrow as she chewed.
“Why do you get on me for cussing?”
Her expression fell and she worked at swallowing as she turned and grabbed for her coffee.
“When we were younger I thought you were a prude, but then as we got older I thought it was just more of a running joke for us. It wasn’t until you cussed at me at the bar, and then everything went to shit, that I thought it might be something else. And I was just wondering if there was a reason.”
She laughed hesitantly. “It is more of a joke now, but I still don’t like it.” I stood there waiting for her to continue, and after a couple minutes, she took a deep breath in and shrugged. “My dad was an alcoholic. It wasn’t like he’d drink every night, thank God. But twice a week maybe? And when he drank, he drank enough to put ten men out for the night. Whatever he’d gone out to buy, he’d finish all of it every time. Mom hated that he dra
nk, said he was blowing our money and trying to kill himself. She’d always start cussing at him. He hated cussing, and she knew it . . . but she’d keep throwing out words like she was goading him or something. Because he’d just yell louder and louder, telling her to stop cussing until he started throwing things at her or hitting her. And he’d hit her until one of them was unconscious.”
“Paisley,” I whispered, horrified. “How did I not know about this?”
Her brown eyes darted up to mine. “The funny thing about all this? He’s a pastor, or was; I don’t know what he’s doing anymore. I haven’t seen him since I was eleven. At church on Sunday we were the picture-perfect family for the congregation, but when he’d get the itch to drink . . . he’d go a few towns over to a liquor store and it would start all over again. I think that’s why my mom provoked him with the cussing, because she felt like she couldn’t just leave a man who would drink himself to sleep a couple nights a week and leave us without any money . . . she wanted to be able to say he was abusive. Something about divorce being wrong in the Bible.” Paisley rolled her eyes. “They were so hypocritical.”
Grabbing loosely onto her forearms, I let my hands slide down until they were gripping hers and pulled her into my chest. “Why didn’t you ever tell me?”
“Because we moved away from him when my mom finally divorced him. She met my stepdad a year later and we moved here with him for his job a year after that. That’s how I met you. By that time, I was mostly just bitter toward my mom for so many things. For making me grow up watching her entice him into beating her. For leaving me without a parent or two for the rest of the night. For teaching me when I was young that calling the cops would only harm the church.” She snorted. “So by the time I met you, I was distancing myself from my mom, forgetting about my dad, and falling in love with a boy who had a calming effect on me that I’d never known was possible.”
I shook my head, still not able to grasp all this. “I didn’t even know he was your stepdad, I’ve met him . . . I’ve spent so much time with your parents.”
“He’s great, and he’s great for my mom. She’s changed a lot since she met my stepdad. But you didn’t know because I felt closer to him than I did my real parents, and that’s why he adopted me so I have his last name. My mom’s nothing like she used to be, but I still don’t like being around her. And that’s why I don’t like churches or cussing.”
“Did he ever . . .” I trailed off, not able to voice the rest of my question.
“No, never! He never went looking for the fight; she just wouldn’t stop until he did. But once the cussing stopped, he was done. And, obviously, I wasn’t about to make him mad.”
“I’m so sorry, Pay, I’ll stop. I swear I—I’ll try.”
“Eli,” she said on a laugh and tightened her arms around me. “Don’t worry about it. Like I said, it is more of a joke between us now. Well, and Kristen too. It’s not like I still associate those words with the person using them getting beaten up. I did when I was younger, and when we first met. But that was a long time ago; now I just don’t find them necessary—unless you really make me mad for whatever reason.” She winked.
“I don’t know how you can joke about this.”
“Because it stopped fourteen years ago.” She shrugged like she hadn’t just blown my mind . . . again. Like she hadn’t just crushed this idea that my Paisley had grown up with the perfect life. “Drink,” she ordered, and handed me my coffee.
“Yes, ma’am . . . ?”
Paisley bounced on her toes as she grabbed her empty coffee cup and the sandwich wrappers. “I can’t kiss you until we’re done with coffee and breakfast, and I really need to kiss you after that!”
I laughed loudly, took the lid off the cup, and leaned over to dump it in the sink. “All done.”
Her eyebrows slammed down. “That’s cheating.”
“You’ll get over it.”
Grabbing around her waist, I hauled her small body back to mine and crushed my mouth to hers. One of her arms was caught between our bodies, her hand splayed against my chest, the other hand slowly trailed along my hair as her fingers curled around the back of my neck.
“Don’t change because of that story,” she begged. “Please just be the man I fell in love with.”
“I can do that.”
She smiled against my lips before kissing me once more. “Thank you.”
Backing away from me, she grabbed all the trash and threw it away before moving out of the kitchen.
“Where are you going?”
“To brush my teeth and get dressed.” She drew out the words, making them sound more like a question.
My eyebrows rose and I scoffed. “You’re not getting dressed.”
Paisley looked down at my shirt on her body before glancing up at me again. “Why not?”
“I’m nowhere near done with you yet, and your clothes will get in the way. I want you just like that for the rest of the day.”
Her eyes widened and she bit down on her bottom lip. Letting her eyes trail down as much of my body as she could see from where I stood behind the counter, they bounced back up to my face before she took off running for my room.
I pulled off my shirt as I slowly followed behind—but my face fell when I realized her pile of clothes weren’t next to my dresser, and the bathroom door was shut. Grabbing the knob, I glared at the door when it didn’t turn.
“You better not put any more clothes on, Paisley.”
She snorted, and I heard the water from the sink turn on.
As I reached above the frame, my frown deepened when I didn’t feel the key up there. Looking around for something to jam into the small circular lock, I spotted the nightstand where Paisley always left a ton of her stuff. Right on top were hair pins that would fit perfectly.
Grabbing one, I widened it and shoved one of the ends into the lock, unlocking and opening the door all in the same second.
Paisley straightened from washing her mouth in the sink, and I made a face before looking pointedly at the key sitting next to her on the counter.
“How’d you get it down?”
“I used my shirt to hit it,” she answered with a defeated pout.
I nodded as I tossed the pin on the counter and went to stand behind her. She hadn’t changed yet and was still only in my shirt. “Why are you running from me, Paisley?”
“Because I can?”
My eyes narrowed. “Do you not want me to touch you?” From the way her chest hitched with a harsh breath and her eyes became hooded, that wasn’t it.
“I want to be able to touch you,” she admitted in a soft voice.
I hardened instantly. “These weeks aren’t about me,” I reminded her.
“But—”
“I want you to, Paisley. You have no idea how much I want to feel you on me . . . but I want this for you so much more,” I whispered against her neck.
Sliding my hands over her body, I let one move to her breast as the other ran past her hips to the inside of her thighs. Spreading them further apart, I slid my fingers over her entrance, trailing her wetness to her clit.
“Oh, Eli,” she moaned, and arched her back against my chest.
“Hold on to me, Pay.”
She wrapped her hands around the back of my neck and moved her hips against my hand.
“Open your eyes.” Her dark eyes fluttered open, and I held them through the reflection in the mirror. “Look how beautiful you are.”
Her cheeks were flushed, her eyes bright with desire, her full lips barely open as she breathed heavily. Her chest was pushed out against my hand where I was alternating between massaging one of her breasts and pulling gently on her nipple. Her legs were spread with my fingers moving in and out of her. And now her eyes were heating as she took in the sight.
I’d never seen anything more beautiful or perfect.
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Pulling her bottom lip into her mouth, she bit down and stood on the balls of her feet as her body tightened, and I knew she was close. I rolled my fingers against her clit, and her eyes fluttered shut as her body started trembling.
“Open.”
She forced them open, and her fingers dug into the back of my neck and she moaned as the trembling stopped for countless seconds before she fell apart.
I wrapped one arm around her waist when her knees gave out, but didn’t stop touching her until her body sagged against mine.
When her eyes moved to meet mine in the reflection, all I could do was shake my head in amazement. “Beautiful,” I murmured.
Mine. The girl in my arms was mine.
Chapter Nine
September 25, 2013
Paisley
“I CAN’T BELIEVE you’re actually going to go through with this,” Kristen said on a laugh that clearly showed how much of a mistake she thought this was.
“You’re doing it with me.”
“Oh no. No way.” She pointed in the direction of the hallway leading to the rooms, and said, “There is no way in hell I am letting one of those ladies get anywhere near my vagina.”
“Kristen!” I begged.
“You are making a huge mistake, I’m not about to make one with you.”
My expression fell. “How is this a mistake? I need to do something, I’ve never . . .” I trailed off and gestured toward the area. “I’ve never taken that much care of it. I’m not about to have another weekend with Eli with a briar patch down there.”
Kristen’s sudden laugh was so loud that the receptionist jumped and looked over to us. “Is it really that bad?” she asked between her hysterics.
My lips twitched into a smile, and I admitted, “Okay, not that bad. It’s somewhere between bush and jungle though. It needs help.”
“I will be in there to support you and hold your hand, but you are out of your fucking mind if you think I’ll be spreading my legs too.”
“Language,” I reminded her, and got an eye roll.
“You ready?” one of the workers asked as she and another uniformed woman walked toward us from the hall.