he Case of the Broken Heart
a comedy by
Richard von Fuchs
Copyright 2014 by Richard von Fuchs
Cast
Reverend Bill Joe Bob, 43, from Kentucky
Fred Holland, almost reformed cocaine dealer
Marguerite, middle aged church member
Pat Glazier, realtor, church member
Jim Cochrane, realtor, not a church member
Suzanne, 25, church secretary
Cecil, 60, church janitor and Suzanne’s uncle
RCMP Sgt. McPhee
RCMP Corporal Winsby
6 non-speaking church members, Alice, et. al.
Setting
The Church of God Almighty, Independent and Reformed, Yarrow, B.C. and Chilliwack RCMP headquarters
Summer, 1989
Scene one
A lectern is set a stage right at a 45 degree angle toward a congregation sitting in folding chairs, including Fred, Marguerite, Pat, Suzanne, and Cecil. Billy Joe Bob stands behind the lectern.
Billy Joe Bob: And so he carried away the spirit into the wilderness: and I saw a woman sit upon a scarlet beast, full of names of blasphemy, having seven heads and ten horns. And the woman was arrayed in purple and scarlet color, and decked with gold and precious stones and pearls, having a golden cup in her hand, full of abominations ad filthiness of her fornication. And upon her forehead was a name written: “Mystery Babylon the great, the mother of harlots and abominations of the earth. And the angel said unto me, “The waters which thou sawest, where the whore sitteth, are peoples and multitudes and nations and tongues. And the ten horns which thou sawest upon the beast, these shall hate the whore and shall make her desolate and naked, and shall eat her flesh and burn her with fire. For God has put into their hearts to fulfill his will, and to agree and to give their kingdom unto the beast, until the words of God shall be fulfilled. And the woman which thou sawest is that great city which reigneth over the earth.” (He closes the Bible). That’s the word of God from the Book of Revelations. That’s a look ahead into our future. It’s like having a lookout on a ship telling us what lies ahead.
Now some people say that the Book of Revelations is a mysterious book, hard to understand, written in a mystical style. None are so blind as those that will not see. I ask you, what could be clearer? The whore, decked in god and precious stones, is our life today in our big cities, all glitter and flash but based on filthiness. It says right here, the woman which thou sawest is that great city. That’s the old fashioned word for whore, prostitute, street walker, or whatever you want to call them.
Now there is a lot of talk about the beast in the Book of Revelations. It says very clearly that the beast shall eat her flesh and burn her with fire. That’s the fate that lies ahead for the smart people in our sophisticated big cities, if you look ahead, or listen to our lookout in the Book of Revelations.
Now some of those smart city people laugh at us Christians who still go to church. You know they do. They say we’ve got running board religion. They sneer at us. They think we are a bunch of uneducated hicks. Well, they are sadly mistaken my friends. We are no the ones who are going to be burned. We are not the ones who will be made desolate. We are not going to have our flesh eaten because every one of us who repents is going to sit at the right hand of God the Father Almighty. Yes, WE are going to be saved.
But what about those smart people in the city with their college degrees and high paying jobs, their fancy cars and their cocaine habits – what’s going to happen to them?
It says right here in chapter 17 of the Book of Revelations that they are doomed unless they change their ways. It couldn’t be clearer. If you can see the light at noon, if you can see the hand in front of your face, you can see what this means.
So when you hear the “humanists” laugh at those of us who honour the word of God and keep his commandments, just remember what is going to happen to them! And when you feel left out because you don’t live in the fast lane, just remember all the good things that God has in store for you.
That’s the difference my friends. The whores of Babylon may be decked out in gold and pearls, but they will be struck down and devoured. And those of us with rusty cars and ordinary jobs, who listen to the word of the Lord, will be lifted up until his right hand to dwell in paradise.
What could be simpler to understand? The choices ahead of you are equally simple. You can live in the fast lane and laugh at God and the people who keep his commandments, or you can live the good life and store up treasures in heaven. What will your choice be? I know what I’m going to do. My only question for you today is to ask you to search your hearts. Do you know what you’re going to do? Amen.
Would you join me now in the singing of hymn number three hundred and six?
(The congregation stands and sings one verse of the hymn with Billy. Billy raises his hand and gives a blessing)
Billy: May the peace of God which passeth understanding, bless you and keep you and give you peace. Amen!
(Billy goes upstage left to shake hands with the congregation as they file out).
Alice: Good morning, Pastor. That was a wonderful sermon.
Billy: Good morning, Alice. How’s Russell getting along?
Alice: He’ll be out of hospital this week. I might even be able to bring him to church next Sunday.
Billy: Don’t rush him God will heal him in his won time, but give him my best wishes, will you now?
Alice: Yes I will! (Exits upstage left).
Fred: Good morning, Pastor.
Billy: Good morning, Fred. How are you this beautiful morning?
Fred: Fine, couldn’t be better.
Billy: And how’s business? You doin’ all right?
Fred: The Lord is blessing me every day.
Billy: I’m glad to hear that. God bless you.
Fred: And you too. (Exits)
Marguerite: Billy Joe Bob, I could have listened to y ou all day.
Billy: You might have, Marguerite, but my throat got dry and I had to cut it short.
Marguerite: OH, you’re such a kidder. You told us just what we needed to hear.
Billy: I hope so. I never know if I hit the target or not. I pray every Saturday night that my words on Sunday will be the right ones, at the right time, to reach our flock in the right way.
Marguerite: Don’t you ever worry, Billy Joe Bob, you’re doing just fine.
(Lights go down slowly as the rest of the congregation shakes hands with their pastor and exits stage left).
Scene 2
(Pastor’s study. Billy sits at his desk upstage left, three quarters facing the audience. Fred enters from stage right. Billy gets up and shakes hands with him).
Billy: God bless you brother.
Fred: God bless you too.
Billy: What brings you here today?
Fred: I’ve got something for you.
Billy: What’s that?
(Fred reaches into his wallet and takes out a dollar bill folded into a small square): Something to cheer you up. (Hands it to Billy).
Billy: A donation?
Fred: More like a line – of credit.
Billy (unwraps the dollar bill): Ah, I see. Very nice of you. And how much does this add to my bill?
Fred: Another hundred. It’s not very much.
Billy (rolls up another dollar bill and prepares to snort the coke): Don’t worry. Donations come in on a pretty regular basis. We are going through a summer slump at the moment but business will pick up.
Fred: My supplier is getting kind of heavy with me. I don’t want to let you down, or cut you off, but I would appreciate it if you could come up with something in the near future.
Billy (snorts
the coke): Ahh. Yes, that’s good! I’ll see what I can do. Maybe we can readjust the church budget somehow.
(There is a knock on the door and Suzanne enters from stage right).
Suzanne: Excuse me Pastor. Are you busy? Mr. Glazier is here to see you.
Billy: Fine. Send him in.
Fred: I guess I should be going.
Billy: Not unless you are in a “rush.” (Laughs at his own pun). Just another brother from the congregation.
Fred: I don’t have much more to say. Just don’t forget about the
Pat: (enters from stage right): Have you got a moment, Pastor?
Billy: Sure, sure. Come on in. You know Fred Holland, don’t you?
Pat: I think so (Extends his hand) I’m Pat Glazier, Glazier Holdings.
Fred: Yeah. I thought I recognized you. You’re in the old Hargreaves place, aren’t you?
Pat: That’s right.
Fred: If you fellows want to talk, I have some other things to do. Nice meeting you again Mr. Glazier. I hope to see you soon, Pastor.
Billy: Yes, of course. Don’t worry.
(Fred exits stage right).
Pat: See you again. (Looks around nervously when Fred is gone). Is it O.K. to talk here?
Billy: Of course, yes. Please sit down Mr. Glazier.
(Pat sits and Billy sits behind his desk).
Billy: What can I do for you?
Pat: It’s about that land we were talking about.
Billy: I hope you haven’t sold it to somebody else.
Pat: No, but we heard a rumour that someone else is interested.
Billy: I’m not surprised. It’s a great location. But of course you can’t put rumours in the bank. Naturally anyone with an eye for the value of land would be interested in that lot. However, unless I’m mistaken, it is still zoned