“agricultural.”
Pat: At the moment. Weren’t you going to have a word with your friend in Victoria?
Billy: Yes I have. He’s perfectly open to the idea. Of course he can’t just charge in like a bill in a china shop. You know how the opposition goes on about things like that. They are still trying to nail the Premier for down-zoning his own land. Saved him a bundle, but then he’s only making the zoning conform with its existing use.
Pat: I just wanted to know if you had any idea when the church might be able to , ah, go ahead with the transaction.
Billy: Well, now that’s not easy to say. We really need it for our proposed expansion. You know, Sunday we just about needed a shoe horn to get everybody into the existing building. One of the Sunday school classes had to meet in my office. A good sign, of course, but it is summer and donations always slow down then.
Pat: It’s just that if conversations start with another party, I would like to have an idea about how serious the church is about going ahead with this deal.
Billy: Mr. Glazier, I wouldn’t trifle with an important man like you or waste your time on idle day dreams. I have faith, and I hope you do too, that our growing congregation can easily swing this deal.
Pat: Um, ah, I hope so. Nothing stands still you know, especially in real estate.
Billy: Hope? I never got anywhere that way. It’s faith that got me where I am today.
Pat: Yes, I’m sure.
Billy: No. I don’t think you understand. If you have a minute, maybe I can explain something to you that will help strengthen your own faith.
Pat: Yeah, I guess I do…
Billy: Fine, fine. Now, I don’t tell many people this, but I wasn’t born into this situation. My Daddy was a coal miner in Eastern Kentucky. You know anything about Kentucky?
Pat: It’s way back east in the States. Can’t say that I do.
Billy: You know the western part of the state is where they take all the pictures of horse races and fine mansions to draw in the tourists; the eastern part is where they mine coal and for some reason, it’s just damn dirt poor. I had seven brothers and sisters. My Daddy got black lung. You know what that is, don’t you?
Pat (starts to rise): Yes, I think I’ve heard of it.
(Billy motions him to be seated and Pat sinks down into his chair).
Billy: It kills you slower than cancer, but it kills you. He worked as long as he could, with longer and longer time off sick until he couldn’t work at all any more. They made him a watchman toward the end but even that got to be too much. Even when he was workin’ we never had enough of anything, and when he wasn’t, well, you can imagine.
Pat: I’m sorry to hear…
Billy: Never mind about that. I’m not trying to get you to feel sorry for me. I just tryin’ to explain that I had faith that God did not intend for me to be poor and raggedy all my life. I knew, deep in my heart, that he was testing me to see if I could find a way out – and I did! I did find a way out of that misery and hopelessness. The key was right here (picks up a Bible). God opened my eyes and gave me faith that there was a better life. You don’t have to give your life to the coal company so they can be rich and you can stay poor all your life. And He directed me to come up here, and I found it! So that’s why I say, don’t worry. If we have faith that something will be done, it will be done!
Pat (stands): That’s very reassuring to hear. I guess I was just getting a bit nervous about the deal.
Billy: Don’t run off yet. I have a proposal that may interest you.
Pat: Yes?
Billy: I know that the land is appraised for about two hundred thousand.
Pat: Pretty close.
Billy: And I know that as a favour to the church, you were going to let the fellowship have it for …one eighty…(Pat winces but remains silent). We could come up to one ninety if you could see your way clear to make a donation of, say, twenty thousand. (Pat looks horrified) which of course would be tax deductible. And if I guess your income right, that would leave you comin’ out ahead unless you were going to pay the capital gains tax, but the price I suggested would nullify that.
Pat: At the moment I don’t actually own it. I’ve got two partners…
Billy: Well get it! What are you waiting for?
Pat: It’s not that simple.
Billy (stands): It’s just as hard or simple as you believe it will be. Correct me if I’m wrong, brother Glazier, but you are a very successful man. You have established a sound reputation for business judgment and your ability to arrange a line of credit is better than the ordinary donkey on the street.
Pat: I suppose so.
Billy: That’s fine (starts to escort Pat out to stage right): But let’s move on past hope to faith. If you have faith, you cannot fail. What you would make as a partner is a pittance compared to what you will make as the sole owner. Tell them you are acting for the church.
Pat: I’ll see what I can do.
Billy (escorts Pat out): I’m sure you can do it, brother (shakes Pat’s reluctant hand). Take care now, y’ hear?
Pat: I’ll see you Pastor. (Exits right).
(Billy returns to his desk and starts writing on his calendar. The intercom buzzes).
Suzanne’s voice: Billy Joe Bob?
Billy: Yes, Suzanne?
Suzanne: Cecil wants to see you if you’ve got a minute.
Billy: Ask him to come right in.
Suzanne: And then I want to see you too.
Billy: I’ve always got time for you, my dear.
(Cecil enters from stage right in work clothes).
Cecil: Sorry to bother you, Pastor.
Billy: Come on in.
Cecil: I know how busy you are.
Billy: I’ve always got time to talk to a man who does such a fine job as you do.
Billy: Sit down. Tell me, what’s the matter?
Cecil: This is probably just a mistake with a computer or somethin’. (He sits hesitantly). It’s about my cheque.
Billy: Was it late?
Cecil: No, Suzanne had it right on time as she always does.
Billy: What’s the problem?
Cecil: Well, it seems like for the past couple of months, it’s been a couple of dollars short. I wouldn’t have noticed but Vera pointed it out to me.
Billy: Well, that’s an easy thing to check. I’ll call Suzanne. (Buzzes the intercom) Suzanne, would you bring in the payroll records?
Suzanne’s voice: Right away, Pastor.
Cecil: Um, and uh, there’s somethin’ else.
Billy: What’s that?
Cecil: The credit union phoned this morning and they said my cheque bounced.
Billy (stands up): That’s impossible. They must have had a short circuit in their computer.
Suzanne (enters from stage right carrying a ledger): It’s all on the computer floppy but I’ve got these entries here I keep as a back up. (She places the ledger on Billy’s desk. Cecil leans forward to have a look. Billy peers over his shoulder).
Billy: Cecil says the credit union claims his pay cheque bounced.
Suzanne (astonished): This is the first I’ve heard about it. I can’t imagine how that could happen. I’ve made quite a lot of deposits lately.
Billy: That’s what I thought. Not a tremendous amount, but it’s been good and steady.
Suzanne: What do you want to know about the payroll records?
Billy: Cecil says that your aunt Vera thinks there may have been an error on his cheque.
Cecil: For the last couple of months.
Billy: Well, let’s check it out.
Suzanne (points at numbers with her finger): You are working 30 hours a week, aren’t you Uncle Cecil?
Cecil: Most of the time.
Suzanne: For six dollars an hour.
Cecil: That’s right. Hasn’t changed in quite a while.
Suzanne: So that’s a gross of one eighty a week, minus Canada Pension, minus U.I.C., minus the insurance. What have you been getting net?
Ce
cil: I’m not sure what you mean by that.
Suzanne: How much do you actually get when you cash the check?
Cecil: About a hundred and thirty eight.
Suzanne: Can you check on that?
Cecil: I guess I could look for my old cheque stubs.
Suzanne: Didn’t you bring any with you?
Cecil: No I guess I should’ve.
Billy: You haven’t worked any less hours, have you Cecil?
Cecil (sitting cranes his neck to make eye contact: No sir. In fact with the spring cleaning last month, I put in extra hours but I didn’t claim anything extra.
Billy: Now this is truly a mystery.
Cecil: Yes.
Billy: Why don’t you go home and look for your old cheque stubs and I’ll have Suzanne call the credit union and find out what kind of mess they’re making of our accounts.
Cecil: I hate to cause you all this trouble, but I promised Vera I would ask.
Billy: It’s no trouble at all. You are the best maintenance man this church ever had. I hate to think we may be causing you any difficulty.
Cecil: That’s very kind of you to say that, Pastor.
Billy: It’s nothing but the plain truth.
Cecil: I appreciate that.
Billy: Yes, now why don’t you go hoe, if you’re finished here today and look for your records?
Cecil: I’ve still got a little vacuuming to do but then I’ll head home.
Billy (pats Cecil on the shoulder): Go in peace, brother.
Cecil (holds out his hand but gets no hand in return and sheepishly puts his hand in his pocket): Ah, um, thank you Pastor.
(Cecil exits stage right. Billy sits at his desk. Suzanne comes closer.)
Billy: Weren’t you going to phone the credit union, Suzanne?
Suzanne: Yes, in a minute, Pastor, but there’s something I have to tell you.
Billy (keeps his eyes on the papers he is shuffling on his desk): And what is that?
Suzanne (moves closer): I’m