Do we have time to fully accept who we are? How long does this process take to become comfortable in our own skin? Questions that I can’t answer, because the question here for me is how much time do we have? It continues to tick, what ever we have, whatever happens and whatever we hope or want for. ‘I’m going to do this next year’, ‘When I am retired, I will travel’, and ‘By this age I want to have achieved this’, the list is far from exhaustive and relative to each individual. The one thought we do share is that we think we have forever, that time is limitless and we can put off doing things today and arrange to do them tomorrow because we will always be here. Not so. We will all leave this Earth at different times: some will have a limited time, others a vast period of time, but the one thing that is certain, is that we will leave our human bodies. Everyone’s perception of what happens at this final stage will be different and relative to both cultural influences and the holding of faith or not.
Whilst we are here, we need to accept who we are and respect time. It moves so quickly: it flashes before our eyes and, before you know it, that thing you wanted to do, see or experience is out of your reach. Getting to know you and grow your inner self, your soul all takes time and the full acceptance of whom you are is inextricably linked to all of this. So find acceptance of you, respect time, embrace life, live it in the ‘now’ and use your days on earth wisely, for time can be your friend or your enemy. Wake up one morning and say, “I am an ok person” “I am going to live every second of this day. I will look at the beauty around me. I will experience life today whatever it may hold in store for me”. Some days will have sad times, others joyful memories. If we feel alive inside our souls, then we will use all of our senses to embrace that time of our life, that second, minute, hour or day.
The rain lashed down and the oversize window wipers swished side to side. We had been travelling for a long time and I had seen no signs to give me a clue to where we were going. Miriam seemed happy, humming as she drove. The times she looked over, she smiled her comforting smile and I was still happy to spend time in her company. It did cross my mind about work, “Would I still have a job? Will people wonder where I am? Are they looking for me?” All this went through my head but I didn’t give it much more thought as I had learned to trust what happened in my life, even things as big as this. So I watched the scenery out the window and all felt well with the world. I must have slept, as the next thing I knew we were stopped and I heard Miriam calling me “We’re home” she said and, as I gathered my things and stepped down from the mobile home, I realised we were back at Miriam’s. “Good to be home” she said “Let’s go in and have a cup of tea.” I smiled and nodded and she led the way.
Back in the comfy living room at Miriam’s was a very welcome place to be; it held a peace and serenity that I had never experienced in any other place. “Tea, dear? White with one sugar?” she asked, I nodded and smiled, I was rather lost for words I felt like I had been talking for a lifetime and was happy to sit in silence with my thoughts. Miriam passed me my tea and I clasped my hands around the china cup and felt settled and warm. It was a while before we spoke both content at just being at one with the silence.
Miriam broke the silence “Well, my dear, what a journey we have been on. ‘So refreshing to my soul and comforting to my spirit’. I am sure you have questions to ask but I am weary now and it would please me if we agreed to talk in the morning, after a good night’s rest.” So it was agreed we would spend the evening relaxing and enjoying each other’s company. Miriam showed me her beautiful garden, full of different flowers, all their colours mixing together and creating a rainbow carpet. The butterflies danced and bees busied themselves with their work. Birds sang and the sun warmed our backs, whilst we laughed and danced in spirit with all that was around us. As always, we ate well that night and just before we were about to retire for the night, I looked at Miriam and said “I don’t really know who you are or why you have come into my life but I am so grateful that I walked through the mirror to meet with you. I sense this is just the first step on a new path for me that will take me closer to becoming who I am truly meant to be, so for that I thank you.” Miriam smiled and I could see she had tears in her eyes. She wiped them before she replied, and said, “When you build that relationship with yourself, it is surprising what you can learn about who you are and where you are meant to go.” With that, she got up and said goodnight.
I woke late and found Miriam in the kitchen cleaning some vegetables that she had dug up that morning, “For dinner, later.” We made breakfast together and took it outside to eat. The pancakes were delicious, enhanced only by the honey that Miriam had harvested from the bees in her garden; it was the sweetest honey I had ever tasted. It seemed strange today that we weren’t going off on a journey to some other place and I was not being asked by Miriam to tell her about something, but it was welcome to be able to just rest and enjoy all that the day was offering us. Miriam went to make a fresh pot of tea and when she returned her velvet pouch was on the tray. She passed it to me. “Today you scatter the golden dust” she stated “Will it work for me?” was my reply “Have faith in all that you do and what you need will be provided” was Miriam’s response. Nervously, I took the pouch and placed my hand inside. Its contents tingled on my fingers and I grabbed some in my hand, pulled it out from the bag and threw it in the air before us. It floated down and settled on the path before us and revealed the following verse,
There’s more to you, just so you know
You’re special, Unique, a soul to grow
Enjoy your days upon this Earth
You’re here for you and others too
The key you see for your life here
Is to live your life with love not fear.
With that she settled back in her chair the golden dust returned to the velvet pouch, Miriam smiled and with that we began our final conversation.
Over the next few hours we recounted our journey together and laughed together many times. We talked about trusting and building faith and how this could, if embraced, lead to many new opportunities being opened up to you in your life. We talked about the importance of getting to know yourself so that you may move towards becoming who you are meant to be. We talked about the power and responsibilities there are in relationships and we talked about the importance of self-acceptance. As promised, our conversation ended in Miriam answering my earlier questions about how I saw her presentation change as we journeyed together. Miriam explained that there was no physical change to her presentation and what I saw came from a change that had taken place within her. Miriam recalled how our journey had enriched her and brought happiness to her days and, when you feel happy within yourself and you are enjoying being you, then your inner light will shine through, touching not only you but all those around you. “When you thought you saw me younger, my dear”, she said “all you were really seeing was the inner spirit of my soul, which is in all of us if we choose to look for it”.
A clock struck a few times and Miriam looked at me and I knew it was time for me to return home. I felt sad and wanted to stay: tears welled up in my eyes and I stood up. “Don’t be sad, my dear. We will meet again, for there is much work for us to do in the future.” Miriam said. We moved towards each other and embraced. I thanked Miriam and she walked me back to the mirror, which up until now I hadn’t noticed in the room. “Just walk straight through?” I said. She nodded and we said our last good bye. Just as I was about to step through, I stopped abruptly “How will I know when to return” I asked. Miriam smiled her smile and said “You will know, my dear, you will know.” and with that I stepped through the mirror and found myself back on my landing. “
I looked back at the mirror and touched it, its glass now as hard as ever. My hand just hit it and made a mark as usual. I looked at my watch: it was 7.30 am and, to my surprise, I still needed the bathroom and quite urgently I decided. I looked out the window. The ice was still on the car and the day was still Monday. I sat on the window seat at th
e bottom of the stairs, wondering what on earth had or had not happened. I went to the kitchen for a glass of water, thinking I must have imagined it all, and there, on the table was the china cup from Miriam’s, the most beautiful cup I had ever seen. Walking over to it I picked it up and smiled I placed it on the shelf and just knew that one day I would see Miriam again, when the time was right.
THE END
Biography
A J Harvey born in Essex in 1961; 1979–1981 member of WRNS; 2001 graduated from Bath University with a BA in Applied Social Studies and a Diploma in Social Work. My hobbies include photography, painting, writing and walking in Devon where I have lived for the past 15 years. I am my most happiest when I am being creative. I am learning the art of Reiki and have passed the First degree, enabling me to provide healing to friends and family. I hope to progress this to the next level so that I can open up my healing to many other people.
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