LETTER XXXIII
MR. LOVELACE, TO JOHN BELFORD, ESQ.JUNE 23, FRIDAY MORNING.
I went out early this morning, on a design that I know not yet whetherI shall or shall not pursue; and on my return found Simon Parsons, myLord's Berkshire bailiff, (just before arrived,) waiting for me with amessage in form, sent by all the family, to press me to go down, andthat at my Lord's particular desire, who wants to see me before hedies.
Simon has brought my Lord's chariot-and-six [perhaps my own by thistime,] to carry me down. I have ordered it to be in readiness by fourto-morrow morning. The cattle shall smoke for the delay; and by therest they'll have in the interim, will be better able to bear it.
I am still resolved upon matrimony, if my fair perverse will accept ofme. But, if she will not----why then I must give an uninterruptedhearing, not to my conscience, but to these women below.
Dorcas had acquainted her lady with Simon's arrival and errand. Mybeloved had desired to see him. But my coming in prevented hisattendance on her, just as Dorcas was instructing him what questions heshould not answer to, that might be asked of him.
I am to be admitted to her presence immediately, at my repeatedrequest. Surely the acquisition in view will help me to make up allwith her. She is just gone up to the dining-room.
***
Nothing will do, Jack!--I can procure no favour from her, though shehas obtained from me the point which she had set her heart upon.
I will give thee a brief account of what passed between us.
I first proposed instant marriage; and this in the most fervent manner:but was denied as fervently.
Would she be pleased to assure me that she would stay here only tillTuesday morning? I would but just go down to see how my Lord was--toknow whether he had any thing particular to say, or enjoin me, while yethe was sensible, as he was very earnest to see me: perhaps I might be upon Sunday.--Concede in something!--I beseech you, Madam, show me somelittle consideration.
Why, Mr. Lovelace, must I be determined by your motions?--Think you thatI will voluntarily give a sanction to the imprisonment of my person? Ofwhat importance to me ought to be your stay or your return.
Give a sanction to the imprisonment of your person! Do you think, Madam,that I fear the law?
I might have spared this foolish question of defiance: but my pride wouldnot let me. I thought she threatened me, Jack.
I don't think you fear the law, Sir.--You are too brave to have anyregard either to moral or divine sanctions.
'Tis well, Madam! But ask me any thing I can do to oblige you; and Iwill oblige you, though in nothing will you oblige me.
Then I ask you, then I request of you, to let me go to Hampstead.
I paused--And at last--By my soul you shall--this very moment I willwait upon you, and see you fixed there, if you'll promise me your handon Thursday, in presence of your uncle.
I want not you to see me fixed. I will promise nothing.
Take care, Madam, that you don't let me see that I can have no relianceupon your future favour.
I have been used to be threatened by you, Sir--but I will accept of yourcompany to Hampstead--I will be ready to go in a quarter of an hour--myclothes may be sent after me.
You know the condition, Madam--Next Thursday.
You dare not trust----
My infinite demerits tell me, that I ought not--nevertheless I willconfide in your generosity.--To-morrow morning (no new cause arising togive reason to the contrary) as early as you please you may go toHampstead.
This seemed to oblige her. But yet she looked with a face of doubt.
I will go down to the women, Belford. And having no better judges athand, will hear what they say upon my critical situation with thisproud beauty, who has so insolently rejected a Lovelace kneeling at herfeet, though making an earnest tender of himself for a husband, in spiteof all his prejudices to the state of shackles.