Wendy sat up straighter and exchanged a look with her Chancellor, Bain. Then she looked back at me. "Go on."
"I was afraid that we'd be locked away in the dungeon, so Kasper and I escaped in order to clear our names," I said. "We went to Kennet's room, since he was staying in the Doldastam palace. He admitted to his involvement in the attempts on both Queen Linnea and King Mikko's lives in Storvatten."
Loki let out a surprised whistle, causing Finn to cast a harsh look at him. For their parts, Wendy and Bain appeared unfazed.
"An altercation ensued between Kennet, Kasper, and myself," I went on. "Kennet killed Kasper, and I began to fight with Kennet. During the struggle, Kennet fell out the window and died."
Bain leaned forward, resting his arms on his knees. "So you think Kennet was behind everything in Storvatten? What about when you arrested Konstantin Black and Bent Stum for the crimes against the Skojare kingdom?"
"Kennet admitted to hiring them to do his dirty work," I said, lying a little. "He wanted to be King himself, instead of his brother."
Kennet had confirmed that he'd hired someone--he just never talked to Konstantin himself. Mina had been the intermediary, but I thought if I accused Mina of anything without substantial evidence, Queen Wendy would question everything I was saying.
I didn't thinking aligning myself with Konstantin right now would help my case, and he was the only way I had been able to put all the pieces together. That meant that I had to leave out a few things and twist a few facts.
"But why wouldn't Queen Mina hear you out?" Wendy asked.
"Her reasons were never made clear to me, Your Highness," I said. "You'd have to ask her that yourself."
Wendy leaned back in her throne and exhaled. "I don't know what I should do with you." She considered for a moment. "I know the Kanin would want me to return you to them so they could devise a punishment for themselves."
"With all due respect, My Queen, if you send Bryn back to the Kanin, they will execute her," Finn interjected. "Do you really think anything she's done deserves execution?"
"And you have granted amnesty before," Loki said with a sly smile, and Wendy cast him a look.
"Those were under vastly different circumstances," she said, almost whispering.
"I am inclined to agree with Finn," Bain said. He'd settled back in his seat and crossed his leg over his knee. "I worked with Bryn in Storvatten, and she seemed intent on serving her kingdom, not destroying it."
"Since both Finn and the Chancellor are vouching for you, and my husband seems to think it's a good idea, then we will grant you amnesty. For now," Wendy said, emphasizing the fact that it could be revoked if she decided it should be. "Under one condition."
"And what's that?" I asked, feeling so relieved that I would've agreed to nearly anything at that point.
"Finn must keep an eye on you as long as you reside within the Kingdom of the Trylle." She turned her hard gaze to him. "Any trouble that Bryn gets herself into falls on you."
He nodded. "I understand."
The Queen looked back at me. "The King, the Chancellor, and I will continue discussing these matters. But for the time being, you are safe and you're free to stay here." She smiled. "Welcome to Forening, Bryn."
TWENTY-TWO
domestic
As soon as Finn opened the door to his squat cottage tucked away inside the bluffs, children dove at him--two squealing balls of delight with mops of curly hair. Both of them had mud smeared on their clothes, probably from a day spent out in the yard on the warm spring day.
Finn scooped up both of the kids with ease, holding one in each arm. I'd met them before, at Ember's house, since Finn tried to visit his family whenever he had a chance. Hanna, the little girl, was about five years old, and she was babbling excitedly about the adventures she'd had that day with her mom and her brother.
The younger boy, on the other hand, was much more observant than his older sister. Liam couldn't have been more than two, with chubby cheeks and dark brown eyes the size of saucers. He stared back at me over his dad's shoulder, studying me intently.
Finn's wife Mia came out from a back bedroom, shaking her head and making her ponytail bob. The long sundress she wore fell over the rapidly growing belly. It had only been a little over a month since I'd last seen her at Ember's birthday party, but by the way she looked now, it seemed like the baby must be due soon.
"Sorry about the kids," Mia said, offering me an embarrassed smile as she walked over to Finn and the kids.
"No, it's fine," Finn assured her, and gave her a quick peck on the lips.
"Since Bryn is here, I take it that the meeting went well?" Mia asked.
Finn nodded. "She'll be staying with us for a while, but that's what we'd planned anyway."
"I hope it's not too much trouble having me here," I said.
"It's no trouble at all." Mia smiled. "I'll take the kids to Liam's room to play, and let you get settled in." Liam allowed his mom to pick him up, but he turned his head, unwilling to take his eyes off me for a second.
And then suddenly it hit me, watching Mia and Finn with their children like that--this would've been Tilda's life. This should've been her and Kasper, and their unborn child, but now it never would be.
Because I had failed to act fast enough, Kasper had been killed, and this whole life was ripped away from Tilda and their baby. And now I couldn't even be with her. I couldn't even apologize for what had happened.
It all fell on me so hard, I was afraid my knees would give way for a moment. I wanted nothing more than to collapse on the cool dirt floor and let the sadness overtake me, but I couldn't do that. I couldn't let it.
"Bryn?" Mia's eyes widened with concern. "Are you okay?" Then she turned to her husband, sounding panicked. "Finn, I think she's gonna pass out."
Finn dropped Hanna quickly but safely on the floor, then hurried over to me. "Bryn?"
"I'm fine," I said but my words sounded hollow. He put his hand on my arm to steady me, and I wanted to push it away, but I didn't have the strength.
"Have her sit down and get her a glass of water," Mia said, taking Hanna's hand.
Finn took my duffel bag from me, and I didn't even try to fight it. He led me over to the kitchen table and pulled out a chair for me. I sat with my head in my hands and let him fuss over me until the weakness finally began to subside.
When I looked up, Finn was standing over me with a worried crease in his brow, and Mia was sitting at the table beside me. I hadn't even heard her come back out.
"Sorry," I mumbled. "I don't know what that was about."
"No need to be sorry." Mia reached out, touching my forehead gently. "You're cool and clammy. Are you feeling sick at all?"
I shook my head. "No. I've just had a very long week."
Mia leaned on the table, studying me the same way her son had before. "When was the last time you've eaten?"
It wasn't until she mentioned it that I realized I hadn't in a very long time. While I'd been on the road, I'd hardly been able to find anything that sat with my sensitive troll stomach, and when I'd been with the Omte, they hadn't been much on feeding us.
"It's been a while," I admitted sheepishly.
"I'll make you something." Mia pushed back the chair to get up.
"No, you shouldn't be waiting on me," I said, glancing over at her belly.
She smiled and waved me off as she stood. "Nonsense. I've still got another month left with this one, and I can't just spend it sitting around." She rubbed her stomach. "I've got things to do."
"Do you need any help?" Finn asked.
"No, you sit down and talk to Bryn," Mia said as she began bustling about the kitchen.
Finn sat across from me. When I'd had my head down, either he or Mia had poured a cup of tea for me. He leaned across the table and nudged it closer to me.
"You should drink something."
"Thank you." I took a long sip, and the warmth of the drink felt amazing.
Finn's home, l
ike many troll homes, was built sort of like a rabbit burrow--with most of it underground in the bluffs. This kept it warmer in the winter and cooler in the summer, which was nice on days like today when outside temperatures had risen into the seventies.
In a lot of ways, Finn's house was similar to Ridley's house back in Doldastam, except since it was a bit warmer here, they got to have more earthy features, like dirt floors and bushes growing around the doorway.
Remembering Ridley, and the times I'd spent in his house with him usually sitting beside a crackling fire talking about work, only made me feel worse. My stomach clenched and my heart throbbed painfully in my chest. I missed him terribly, and I wanted only to wrap my arms around him.
"You look like you have the weight of the world on your shoulders," Finn commented.
"I kind of feel that way," I said honestly. "I've made too many mistakes, and too many people are paying for them."
"I've had to learn a hard lesson, and I think you might need to, too." Finn leaned back in his chair. "Everything can't be your fault. You're not that powerful. The whole world isn't in your control."
I swallowed hard and stared down at my tea. "I know that."
"But it still feels like you should be able to prevent every disaster and protect everyone you care about from any pain?" Finn asked, and I nodded. "But you can't, so sometimes you need to trust that people can take care of themselves."
I thought of Kasper, and how he'd died trying to take care of himself. And Ridley, and how I didn't know what the Queen had done to him after I left. And Tilda, and how she was dealing with so much now. And Linnea, and how she was alone in Storvatten, trying to fight for her life and her husband's. And Konstantin, and how if Viktor or his men found him, things would end very badly for him.
I shook my head. "I can't turn my back on them, Finn. If I can help them, I have to."
"I'm not saying you should stand by and watch people suffer," Finn clarified. "But you can't save everyone. You can only do as much as you can, and then you need to move on."
"But..." It was hard to speak around the lump in my throat. "Kasper died."
"Did you kill him?" Finn asked me directly.
"No."
"Then it's not your fault."
"But I could've done more." I looked up at him. "I should've done more."
Finn leaned forward, resting his arms on the table. "Bryn, if you could have done more, you would have. That means you did everything you could."
I couldn't argue that, so I lowered my eyes again.
"From what I gather by what Ember's told me, and what you told the Queen, you've been trying to fight a massive enemy on your own," Finn said. "You've been taking on far too much for one person, and I think you should get some rest for a while."
"I can't," I insisted. "Not when people I care about might be in danger."
"You're no help to anyone if you're falling apart."
"That's the worst thing about Finn," Mia said, smiling at me as she set a heaping bowl of vegetable soup in front of me. "He's usually right."
"Thank you," I told her, and I used all my restraint to keep from wolfing down the soup. I didn't think anything had ever smelled as wonderful or tasted as delicious in my life.
"You can stay here as long as you need to," Mia told me, as I devoured the soup. "Our door is always open to you."
I wanted to thank her for that, and tell her that I didn't think I'd be staying here that long. I couldn't just rest on my laurels, no matter if my body needed it or not. But I was far too famished to do anything besides eat.
TWENTY-THREE
reevaluate
Before this had become Finn and Mia's home, it had been the house that both Finn and Ember had grown up in. Ember's old room had become Hanna's, but she would stay in Liam's room tonight, so I could use her room. I'd tried to insist that they didn't need to go to any trouble for me, but Mia just did it anyway.
Despite my exhaustion, I lay awake in Hanna's slightly-too-small bed, my feet hanging over the end. A lighted mobile hung above the bed, casting shapes of the moon and stars over the ceiling.
The walls were a pale blue with clouds on them, and Finn had told me that Ember had been the one to paint the room this way when she'd been ten. I remembered her telling me about her childhood, when she would lay awake at night plotting her escape from this small boring house and her boring life. Ember had been determined to escape and have an adventure.
Now I couldn't help but feel a certain kinship to her, lying awake the way she had, wishing for an escape. Of course, I would happily trade all the troubles that were stretched out before me for a boring life with my friends and family again.
As soon as I thought it, I wondered if that was entirely true. Obviously, I would gladly get rid of Mina and Viktor and all the dangers that went along with them. But would I ever be content to just settle down and lead a normal life the way Finn and Mia had?
Before everything had completely gone to hell, Ridley and I had made plans to be together when this was all over. Of course, now it seemed impossible. I wasn't even sure if I'd ever be able to see him again.
But for a brief moment I allowed myself to fantasize about the life we might have led together. It wouldn't be exactly like Finn and Mia's life, since I wasn't sold on the idea of having kids myself. Staying at home and raising a family was great for people who wanted it, the way Mia so obviously did, but I wanted something different.
I could work as a tracker for a few more years, traveling and seeing the world. When I came home, Ridley would be there waiting for me, pulling me into his arms. Sipping wine by the fireplace in the winter, and riding the horses out to the bay in the summer. Arguing about the politics in Doldastam, or what movie to watch. And falling asleep at night in each other's arms.
We could have a life together.
Or at least we could've, before I'd been accused of treason.
But still, when I drifted off to sleep, I couldn't help but imagine the life that Ridley and I had almost had together. How we'd so nearly made it.
In the morning, I awoke to a little boy standing next to the bed, staring right at me. When I opened my eyes, there he was, and I almost screamed. Funny that after everything I'd seen lately, it was a two-year-old boy that nearly gave me a heart attack.
I wasn't sure how Liam would react to me picking him up, but I decided to give it a go anyway. When he didn't scream, I took that as a good sign, and proceeded to carry him out to the kitchen, where Mia was making breakfast.
She immediately apologized for him waking me, but I brushed it off. Besides, I honestly felt better than I had in a while. Getting a decent meal and a good night's sleep did wonders for the body.
I didn't even mind that since I'd picked Liam up, he refused to let go of me. Eventually, when he began tugging on my hair with his pudgy hands and poking me in the eyes, I realized where all his fascination came from--he hadn't seen many people who looked like me in his life.
After breakfast, I finally managed to detangle myself from Liam and headed outside to work out. I'd been trying to work out every chance I'd gotten, but since Konstantin and I had been on the move, and I'd been starving, exhausted, and anxious the whole time, I hadn't gotten as much done as I'd have liked.
Finn and Mia's house sat on a plateau, with a small field of grassy flat land extending out over the bluff. A split-rail wooden fence wrapped around it, preventing any animals or small children from tumbling over the edge.
Finn and Ember's mom used to use the land to raise angora goats, but since their parents moved, taking the goats with them, Finn hadn't picked up the tradition. The only animal he and Mia had was a solitary pony that Finn had apparently gotten as a birthday gift for Hanna.
The pony, rather inexplicably named Calvin, came over to investigate what I was up to. It was dark gray, with a long mane and fur around his hooves, so in many ways he appeared to be a miniature version of my Tralla horse Bloom, admittedly a much stouter version. He only came u
p to my shoulder, and he appeared bemused behind his thick bangs as he watched me stretch.
When I started running laps along the fence, Calvin trotted along with me, his short legs hurrying to keep up. But he quickly grew bored of that and went back to nibbling at the grass and flowers.
Eventually, I'd moved on to doing burpees--which was dropping down to a squat, getting in a push-up position, and then immediately jumping back to the squatting position and standing up again. I'd done about a million of them when I'd been in tracker school, but the last few weeks had taken their toll on me, and I was going way too slow.
Whenever I'd drop to the ground, Calvin would sniff my hair, as if it to make sure I was okay. I was on about my twentieth burpee when I heard the gate to Finn's property swing open. I stopped what I was doing long enough to look over and see the Chancellor, Bain Ottesen, standing just inside the gate.
"Finn's inside the house," I told him, wiping the sweat off my brow with the back of my arm.
"Actually," Bain said with a sheepish expression, "I'm here to see you."
TWENTY-FOUR
hunted
With my heart pounding in my chest, I walked across the field to meet Bain. There weren't guards with him, so it felt safe to assume that the Queen hadn't decided to recant her amnesty and arrest me. But that didn't mean that she hadn't decided that it might be better for her kingdom if she sent me away.
Bain stepped carefully toward me, avoiding particularly muddy spots in the yard since he was barefoot. Because they had nicer weather in Forening than we did in Doldastam, the Trylle got to spend a lot more time free from footwear.
He was dressed nicely in black slacks and a dress shirt with a tie, and his brown hair was styled off his forehead. With his earnest expression and clean-cut appearance, Bain reminded me of those guys who went door-to-door dropping off religious pamphlets.
"What'd you want to see me about?" I asked when I reached him.
He pursed his lips for a moment. "I have some strange questions to ask you, and I don't know if you'll be able to answer them. But it would be helpful to us if you did."
"I'll do the best I can," I replied carefully.
Calvin had followed me over, and he began sniffing Bain. When Bain spoke, he began absently petting the pony.
"What do you know about what's happening in your kingdom?" Bain asked.