“I can’t say that I know for sure what you are getting at, but I have heard it before.”
“Well, I couldn’t be a farmer because I was a girl and now that I found something that I love doing, I can’t do it because a man will do a better job! But what irks me most is that Dr. Luke would think of me as less than I can be.”
“Now, now, Laura. Perhaps he doesn’t think that at all. Maybe he is planning on training both of you or perhaps he thinks you need some more time until you take over a doctor role.”
“I would get schooling, but the school where Katie got her training as a nurse only does nurse training. Girls can’t be doctors, plain and simple.”
Bethany thought about what Laura had said and it did seem to be unfair that Laura couldn’t pursue what she wanted to do. Bethany never thought of those things simply because she never had a desire to go out and work. All she would ever think about is when she began keeping her own house with Albert—or now, she supposed it would most likely be Jeremy.
But did she really side as Laura did for women’s equality? The topic never seemed a big deal before, but Laura was always the independent one. No doubt she’d be joining in suffrages and go fight her way into a man’s college just so that she could become a doctor. Laura had that way about her.
Turning to study her sister, Bethany had another thought of why Laura would be so concerned about this new doctor. “You have yet to tell me, Laura. This new doctor, is he young?”
Laura’s eyes narrowed, “I suppose so, though I have trouble determining people’s ages.”
“Young as in, your age?”
“Does it matter?”
“Yes, I think it does. I believe you are so out to get this doctor, what’s his name?”
Laura sighed, “Isaac Bradley.”
“I believe you are so set against Isaac Bradley because you think perhaps with time, you may come to care for him and then you will not go off to college, but instead will be happy with your nurse title. Am I right?”
“Of course not!”
Her defensive manner told Bethany otherwise, “Come, Laura, I know when you are lying. Besides, I can see right through you.”
“Oh very well! Yes, he is rather good looking in that respect. And well, I suppose he did ask me to dine with him at the hotel restaurant.”
Bethany stopped the wagon, “He what? Oh Laura…”
“I told him no of course. I said I had no interest in keeping company with any man and that I was content with my life as it was.”
“You didn’t!”
“Of course I did. Dr. Luke and Katie heard the entire thing too, so if you don’t believe me, go ask them. I will not have any man stand in the way of me following my dreams. I will go off to college and I will be a woman doctor, just you wait and see, Bethany Woodsmall.”
Bethany gave a slight laugh, “I believe you will, Laura. I’m sure God has a great many plans for your life. I suppose this is where you get all your independent ideas for Christmas this year.”
Instead of getting angry, Laura turned to Bethany, “Please, Bethy, take my side. Doing something new isn’t bad. Perhaps we can start new traditions?”
“I see where you are coming from, but I think we all need more time. Why is this so important to you?”
Laura seemed to look off somewhere and Bethany almost thought she wouldn’t answer her. “Do you remember when we were home and all the guys were away at war? We were trying to move forward as well as possible. We didn’t want to do any of our Christmas traditions because it just wouldn’t be the same without them. And now with Henry gone, it still won’t be the same. Don’t you think that changing up our traditions might help us forget the horrors of war?”
When she put it like that, Bethany knew that Laura was right. Celebrating Christmas like they always had would bring with it memories of those who were missing. Henry, Cousin Luke, and even Albert. Nothing was the same as it used to be. “But Laura, this is almost like what happened when Momma died. We didn’t stop celebrating, we did it to help us remember what the times were like.”
“Please, Bethy, say you’ll try to convince Carolyn, Heather, and Momma? You may not think I suffered during the war, but I did! I had to watch you all mourn and wait for letters. I waited too for all of you. I need to move forward not backward. Remembering is fine, but not now. Please, not at Christmas.”
Bethany hardly knew how to respond to Laura. Never before had she heard Laura’s struggles for she usually kept it bottled inside. Instead she could only manage to grasp Laura’s hand. “Very well. I will see what I can do.”
Laura didn’t cry, but as she looked out across the prairie, Bethany thought she could see unshed tears glistening in Laura’s eyes. And Laura never cried.
CHAPTER SIX
The sister meeting never did occur then. By the time Bethany and Laura returned from town, Carolyn had gone home feeling sick and Heather was tending to Adam who was screaming after being chased in the yard by a chicken. To Bethany, it was somewhat of a relief because she was not sure how she was going to get through that meeting. Laura’s revelation had Bethany’s mind whirling and she wasn’t sure what to suggest. Now though, she was out in the woods with Jeremy collecting pine branches for St. Lucia’s day. Apparently Carolyn went on planning St. Lucia’s day without Laura realizing it. Bethany knew this wouldn’t end well, but she really didn’t want to bring it up with Laura.
“Exactly how many branches are we collecting, Beth? I think you have enough to cover the house.” Jeremy motioned to the pile they had already collected and Bethany found that it was beginning to get rather chilly.
“Is this really so boring, Jeremy? We are making wreaths to decorate the house for St. Lucia’s day. Plus, we must gather some for Carolyn and Heather’s houses.”
“I think you have enough for all the houses in town if you wanted.”
Bethany laughed, “Have you never made a wreath? I see I shall have to instruct you in that. And you’re right, we may have an excess, but that is because Carolyn can be ever so picky about her pine branches.”
“Picky? Is that what you would call it?”
“Is excessively opinionated better?”
“Much,” Jeremy pulled a branch out and added it to the pile. “And as I mentioned, let’s call it quits. I’m not sure we will even be able to bring these all back in one trip.”
Bethany regarded the pile as well, “You may be right. I should have thought to bring Jesse’s cart.”
“You know I’m always right, especially about you. But indeed, this cart sounds marvelous. Is it at Jesse’s place?”
“No, it’s at mine. We only call it Jesse’s because he had it made when he was courting Heather. It’s a small little cart and we always called it that because he would use it and sneak out so we never knew where he was going.”
Jeremy came over and pulled Bethany’s shawl around her shoulder, “I suppose I’ll have to try out this cart with my girl since it seems like a Woodsmall novelty item.”
“Indeed it is, though you may want to wait and take your girl in the spring or you might get her stuck in the snow drifts.”
“So we should have brought the sleigh out today, not the cart.”
Laughter bubbled from Bethany, “Right again! For sleigh rides and wreath making are just two Woodsmall traditions!” Even as she said it, she began to feel a pang of sadness knowing that Laura didn’t seem to want any of these traditions now.
Deciding to carry what they could, Jeremy and Bethany made their way back to Carolyn’s place where Carolyn and Heather were all ready to begin assembling the wreaths together.
Carolyn rushed to greet them at the door, “There you two are! I was beginning to wonder what kept you. Jesse and Scott were in here just minutes ago but they were antsy.”
Bethany deposited her load by the fire place, “There are still more branches left, but even with piling Jeremy’s arms full we couldn’t carry them back.”
Heather??
?s eyes grew wide, “There’s more?”
Carolyn shooed Heather’s remark away, “Why of course, you never know if a branch will have a flaw. Best to have lots to choose from.”
Bethany raised her eyes at Jeremy as if to say ‘I told you so’ and Jeremy seemed to be doing his best at keeping the laughter inside. Jeremy squeezed Bethany’s arm, “You stay here, Beth. I’ll go grab Scott and see if he’ll get the rest of them with me.”
Bethany nodded her consent as Carolyn exclaimed, “Oh! Do send Jesse in when you see him. I need him to begin smoothing the branches.”
Jeremy chanced a glance at Bethany before looking back at Carolyn, “Smoothing?”
“Why of course. Pine branches can be quite rough in some areas and must be smoothed down. Wouldn’t you agree?”
Jeremy smiled, “If you say so, I’ll agree.” Then he hurried out before Carolyn grabbed him for any other tasks.
Bethany loved the cozy atmosphere that wreath making and Christmas decorations brought. Here she was with her brother, sister, and her guy drinking spiced cider, sitting by the fire. Jesse, Scott, and Jeremy seemed to get along so well which confirmed in Bethany’s mind that she had made the right decision. The jokes those guys made brought laughter to the group throughout the afternoon. Momma was watching Adam so he wouldn’t be in all the branches while they were busy.
The door flew open and Laura was there, bringing a blast of chilly wind in that threatened their fire. “So I see you just decided to go behind my back for your traditions. I should have known you wouldn’t talk them over with me.”
Bethany wasn’t sure what to say to that remark and her first instinct was to go and wrap her arms around her sister. Only she knew what was really going on with Laura. Jesse chimed in first though, “Laura, do come in and shut the door. Of course you are welcome, but you were in town.”
Not budging, Laura crossed her arms, “Well I couldn’t do much since I was in town and it’s not like I wanted to be included in your wreath making. I just wanted to make some suggestions on what we were doing this year. I thought we were going to do that.”
Getting too cold for comfort, Bethany went and pulled Laura out of the doorway and proceeded to shut the door, barring the cold outside. Then she wrapped her arms around her sister, “I’m sorry, dear. But wreaths can be used anytime for any tradition. We’ve always used them to decorate the house.”
“Except that they are St. Lucia wreaths. Carolyn wouldn’t make any other.” Laura humphed, “Besides, I thought there wasn’t going to be a St. Lucia this year.”
Carolyn almost laughed, “Oh there is, my dear Laura, I think you should come to terms with at least that tradition. There is no way we are spoiling it for Rosie and Adam. Think how disappointed they would be.”
“This isn’t Rosie and Adam’s problem, it’s yours, Carolyn! Can’t you just take that responsibility instead of passing it on to your siblings for once?”
“Laura!” Jesse rose then, grabbing his crutch for support, and made his way over to where Laura was standing. Placing his hand on her shoulder, he said, “Come now, this isn’t like you. You are being childish and far too stubborn.”
“What?” Laura took a step back from Jesse.
“Yes, and you need to stop always placing your anger on Carolyn. For the record, we are not going behind your back, you are just always away. Why don’t you just let Christmas be Christmas this year as it always has been?”
For an instant, everyone held their breath, waiting to hear Laura’s response. Standing on the one side of her, Bethany could see tears begin to pool in her eyes. They were quickly blinked away though before anyone else noticed them. “I just can’t,” and she turned to Bethany as if pleading with her to see her reason why.
Bethany ached for her sister and wished she could do something to ease the tension. “I think we all need to sit down and talk peaceably. We must be able to come to some agreement that will make Christmas pleasurable for all of us?” Bethany tried to reach out and give Laura a hug, but Laura turned away.
“I need to go. Besides, you already know, Bethany. I don’t need to be here.”
“Yes you do.” But Laura already swept out the door before anyone could say anything else.
Jesse placed his hand on Bethany’s arm and gave her a hug. “We have to let her go, but Bethany, if you know what’s wrong...” Jesse’s voice trailed off, waiting for Bethany to continue.
Bethany sighed, “I don’t think it’s my place. Laura needs to be the one to explain why this is hard for her. But I will say this. We are all hurting and the disagreement is making it worse. We should be pulling together, not apart.”
And though she said the words, Bethany didn’t know what she could do to fix that problem.
CHAPTER SEVEN
Dear Diary,
I hardly know what to think. All I want is for everyone to be happy and remember the Christmases that we had. Christmas is supposed to be a joyful time as we celebrate God sending His Son to earth as payment for our sins. Why is it so hard to remember that?
Dear Laura is struggling so much and I hardly know how to reach her. I’ve never seen Laura so hard. I suppose none of us know how hard the war has been on her. Not that we were trying to discredit her, but I suppose we all thought it was easier for her because she didn’t have a spouse at war. But Laura held us up. She was always trying to be joyful during the rough times and I knew that I could always talk with her about missing Albert. Henry and Luke’s death also hit her hard but she always seemed to make sure Momma was okay.
Meanwhile Carolyn is at the opposite end. Carolyn and Heather (and I suppose myself as well) were a mess. Now that Jesse, Scott, and Poppa are back safe and sound, they want to celebrate as though nothing has changed. In some ways it hasn’t, but in other ways, everything has changed and we can’t go back to what we had before.
Traditions have a way of binding a family together. We are joined together each year by decorating the tree, making wreaths, baking pies and cookies, and celebrating Christ’s birth. But at one point, those traditions were new. Maybe now is a good time to begin some new customs while somehow keeping the old.
Maybe there’s a way to intertwine old traditions with new ones.
The following day, Bethany found herself walking through the woods. She found that throughout all the bustle going on at home, time to think was rare. Laura returned home later than expected, but she was still long past dinner. Bethany didn’t even get a moment to question her where she had gone because Laura went right to bed. Though Bethany was usually willing to let her sisters alone when they wanted it, tonight she couldn’t help but pester her just a bit.
Laura was quick to retort that she had no intention of discussing Christmas any further and claimed that Bethany already choose what side she was on.
Kicking a mound of snow, Bethany sighed, “I don’t see how she can even see that there are sides. Oh what a Christmas this will be!”
“My Beth kicking snow. Now that is a sight indeed.” Bethany turned at the voice and spotted Jeremy walking towards her, his sleigh parked not far away. “Your momma told me where to find you and she appears as worn out as you look.”
“Oh Jeremy, everything is a mess!” Bethany sat down in the snow, not carrying that it would make her skirt cold and wet.
Jeremy came down next to her, “Tell me about it.”
Not sure if she wanted to divulge into the whole saga, she decided to simplify it. Besides, Jeremy knew most of the story anyway. “Why can’t there be a way to combine Carolyn’s ideas of traditions with Laura’s new ones? And it’s not as if Laura even has ideas, she just wants a change.”
Jeremy took her hand and squeezed it, “I’m sorry, Beth, I’m not sure what to say to make it better.”
“I wish there was a way to get us all to sit down and just talk about everything reasonably. But Laura wants me to be the go-between. I think though that Carolyn would take it better coming straig
ht from her. Oh I hope our Christmas won’t be ruined.”
“It won’t. By Christmas Day, everyone will forget their disagreements and be able to just focus on the happiness of the occasion.”
“Well I hope it happens sooner than that.” Bethany could hardly imagine putting up with Laura’s moodiness until Christmas. They sat in companionable silence for a bit, until Bethany broke the silence. “I was thinking about us too. I’m still unsure, Jeremy. I believe I still care for you as a friend.”
“It’s only been a couple days. Besides, friendship can always grow into something more.”
“But I thought it would be more confirming! I just don’t know what to think…” her voice trailed off causing an uncomfortable silence between them.
“Where is this coming from, Bethany?” Jeremy’s voice sounded far away and from the sound of it, Bethany knew that she hurt him.
“I don’t know. I guess I just wanted to tell you how I was feeling so you don’t begin to get ideas about things that aren’t existing. And…well…Christmastime was always special with Albert and me.”
Jeremy turned and grasped Bethany’s hands, forcing her to make eye contact with him. “You can’t keep comparing me with Albert, Bethany. I know you went through a hard time, but I’m here now. Why can’t you see that?”
Bethany eyes pooled with tears, “Jeremy, I…”
“I’ve always loved you, Bethany Woodsmall, ever since you first walked through the school house doors. Then when your family moved back here, I couldn’t wait for you to visit town so I could see you. When you started seeing Albert, I thought my heart would break in two, but somewhere deep inside, I was able to keep going. The time I spent in war, Albert and I were in the same regiment. I tried to be friendly to him for your sake and knew that I was going to look after him to make sure he made it back to you. How was I to know he would leave for Washington D.C.? I gave you time and space as you tried to move on. And I’m not planning on pushing you or forcing you to do anything you don’t want to do, Bethany.” Jeremy made motion to stand, but Bethany clung to his hand.