Her eyes fixed on him. "Is this a dream?"
"No dream, Doe." Then he kissed her, and drew away before passion had a chance to overwhelm them.
In a moment she recovered. "Darius, I forgot to get food in the village."
"We forgot. But what we did was more important."
She scrambled to get back on her feet. He helped her up, though she did not need it. Then they walked on, sniffing out the original dragon's trail.
As luck had it, they passed a fruit tree. They had food after all. They paused to eat their fill, then walked on. Darius no longer felt tired.
He thought of an aspect he had overlooked. "How did you train?" he inquired. "So well that you came to love me, when I was not there?"
"Dar and Col were there."
"Who?"
"They are human nulls. Manufactured as we are, but with fully human forms. One crafted to resemble you, the other resembling Colene."
"Physically," he said, surprised. "But what of their personalities?"
"Those, too, resembled you, as closely as was known." She glanced sidelong at him. "But Dar did not do you justice. You have qualities we had not guessed."
This was increasingly interesting. "So you could indulge sexually with my image?"
"No. We understood that this would alienate Col, and make her more dangerous and treacherous."
Treacherous. He could not argue with their perception; Colene was the one who had deceived and defeated them. "So when Pussy almost seduced me, that alienated Colene, as you see it, and made her betray you and escape."
"Yes. So we were trained to be careful of that aspect. But when I came into your real presence, my defenses collapsed. You overwhelm me. Perhaps it is the drawing of my joy, and the returning of it. I have no power to resist you, other than by your command."
Darius nodded ruefully. "It has similar effect on the women we draw from. That's why they must be our wives. I had thought it would not work on you, as this is not my home Mode."
"Perhaps. So even as Colene has powers we did not grasp, so do you. This changes our situation."
That started another notion percolating in his mind. "Where is your ultimate loyalty?"
"We serve Ddwng. We have no choice. But in anything not opposing his purpose, it is to you."
"If you had a choice?"
"I would serve you completely."
That had been his impression. "These human nulls—where are they now?"
"When we competed for the honor of this mission, we made a deal with them to share our benefits with them, to whatever extent we could. That was why the particular ones with whom we had associated were chosen to join our training. There are four of them—two Dars and two Cols. They remain on the capital planet, awaiting the outcome here on Chains."
"What happens once the issue here is decided?"
"Those of us not used will be recycled."
"What is that?"
"Reduced to protoplasm and added to the store of substance from which new nulls are made."
"So it's death, once your mission is done."
"No, our material does not die."
"But your identities are lost."
"Yes."
"Isn't that very much like death?"
"This is not relevant to your interest."
He caught her by the arm and swung her about to face him. She met his gaze, and he saw the dolor in her. "Yes it is. How can we spare you that?"
"We will remain only if we have continuing relevance to the mission. Once you depart, there will no further need for us; our training made us unsuitable for other purposes. So it is better that we be recycled."
He shook his head. "Doe, I can't have sex with you, and I can't remain with you. But I do like you, more than I should, and wish to help you in some fashion."
"There is no—"
"I will see what I can do."
The rest of the trip was uneventful. By evening of the second day they reached the Feline village. Colene ran to embrace Darius. Then she drew back, looking at Doe. "Oh, Darius, you should have taken her. She earned it."
"It would have helped if you had told me that before I set out on this venture," he said. Then they both laughed.
Colene went to Doe, who stood somewhat awkwardly, not knowing her reception. Colene hugged her and kissed her. "I know what is in your mind. But do not tell. Ah, I see you won't." She looked again, physically and mentally. "You wear a chain—of paper clips!" She laughed again, and this time Doe laughed with her.
The village had made progress in the past two days. It seemed that the dragon was systematically cleaning out the rats from the houses of the first families to trust it, and with each house, the remaining Felines were reassured. A trio from the orphanage was now assigned to accompany the dragon, learning to communicate with it more effectively, and to play new intellectual games. "Soon they will be able to handle the process without me," Colene said.
They joined the villagers for dinner. Doe hung back, uncertain of her welcome, until Cat beckoned her. "Join us," Cat said, indicating Burgess, with whom Cat was keeping company. "Tell us of the state of the Caprines, and your journey here."
Doe accepted gratefully. Darius knew that she did know Cat personally, from their training, and that she answered to the authority of a neuter null, in the absence of her own. Soon they were eating and had a dialogue going. They were speaking Colene's language, learned for the mission, but surely they had had a common language before, when they were assigned to the capital planet.
"So tell me how it was with you and that sexy Doe," Colene said brightly. It was necessary for her to ask him openly, lest she give away her ability to learn it from his mind. Actually her mind reading was as yet minimal, so he normally either spoke his thoughts or phrased them in silent speech for her benefit. She would have only the barest gist of his relationship with Doe.
He presented the physical highlights of the walk, but omitted most of the dialogue they had had. The neighboring Felines paid close attention as he described the encounter with the other dragon, and the manner in which the Fowl village had been started on the cooperative deal.
"So the news is spreading among dragons," Pussy said thoughtfully. "And they are willing."
"Yes," Darius agreed. "The dragon came to us, wanting to make the deal with the villagers. Once the word spreads among all the villages, the process should accelerate."
"It seems impossible. Yet here it is happening."
"Sometimes all that is necessary is a new perspective. Colene has that."
"Yes, she does. This goes beyond our study."
There was an increasing levity among the villagers as the meal progressed. "They are truly starting to believe," Colene murmured. "I'm getting the background feeling."
"Maybe our report on the Fowl village helps," Darius said. "They understand that it's general. You have started something that will free all nulls from the fear of early death."
"Yeah, maybe." He did not need to be a mind reader to pick up her deep satisfaction. She had indeed accomplished something significant.
After the meal the Felines set up an impromptu celebration, making a bonfire. They began to dance, in trios. Darius watched, intrigued by this new glimpse of Feline culture. The attack of the dragon had interrupted their prior dance before it really got going. The neuter was the center of each, with the male and female whirling around, clasping hands, spinning out, and returning in a developing pattern.
"Oh, mistress, may I go?" Pussy asked excitedly.
"Sure," Colene said. Obviously the relationship of the two of them had progressed; the Felines had been committed to Darius before.
Pussy glided out to join Tom and Cat in the dance. Doe was left sitting by Burgess. Darius glanced their way, then turned to Colene.
"Why not?" she asked rhetorically. She ran to Doe. "Come on—you'll have to be the neuter. Sorry about that."
They joined the dance, as a trio. The basic movements were simple enough, and it was evident
that they weren't fixed, so that they could improvise as convenient. Darius held hands with Colene, and turned her about, and let her go. She spun away from him, then spun back to hug him. She was smiling, and he realized with a pleased shock that this was the first time he had seen her truly happy.
Then the trios started to mix. Darius saw Pussy spin out and tag Nona at the sideline. Nona took her place, dancing with Tom and Cat. She danced well; it was natural to her. When she swung with Tom they looked as if they had done this before.
The Bovines and Equines were back, their prior visit having been balked by tragedy. They too soon mixed, and it was evident that both their males and their females were in much demand. Darius understood why; this was sexual relief for villagers who were otherwise inactive.
A neuter came to Darius' trio. It took Doe by the hand and drew her out, then stepped into the center. They now had a genuine neuter for their trio. Doe started to walk to the sideline, but a male feline caught her and swung her around, bringing her into his trio. She was being accepted by the Felines.
The changes continued. Darius found himself dancing with a village Pussy as Colene went to a feline trio. All the Pussies were very similar, but the villagers wore no clothing. Then he danced with Nona, followed by Doe as a female. She was glowing, becoming yet more lovely in her motion and joy. As she swung with him, she looked at him. "Darius, perhaps—"
Ordinarily she would want to go with a Tom, but he knew this was not the case now. What did she want? "I release you to do what you wish," he said.
She drew in close and kissed him, as if it were part of the dance, but with special flak, then moved on. Colene returned. "I saw that."
"Your turn," he said, and kissed her.
She melted. "Oh, Darius! I love you!" And she did; he felt her emotion.
"You're projecting," he whispered.
Her mouth dropped open. I am?
Yes you are, he thought back.
"Oh!"
He shared her wonder. It was the first time she had done that. It meant that her mind powers were growing.
The dance dissolved. Darius saw the cow walk into a house with a male feline, and the bull with a female feline, while the neuter stayed to watch the fire. It was similar for the stallion and mare. But when a Tom approached Doe, she touched her chain of paper clips and shook her head: she was committed to a master. Now he understood why she had made a production of kissing him, with him accepting it: she was demonstrating her commitment as his null.
"Now that's interesting," Colene remarked. "They can't do it with their own kind, so Doe is in great demand. Why doesn't she want to?"
"She loves me."
"Oh, that's right. Too bad."
Darius did not comment. The last thing he wanted was to have Colene jealous of Doe.
"And you really like her."
He made no attempt to conceal it. "I came to know her well. But I did not do anything with her."
"I know. Let's turn in."
"What, and not warm ourselves by the fire?"
"We won't be cold." She squeezed his hand. She was breathing hard, her breasts showing beneath her shirt, and her hair was wild.
Darius suddenly caught her drift. Was she hinting that she was ready to fulfill their marriage?
"Yes, I think so," she said, hauling him inside. "If I won't let you do it with Doe, I'd better do it myself."
They shut themselves in their chamber, stripped, and got into bed. He embraced her. She pressed herself against him—and froze.
"Damn!" she swore. "Damn damn damn!" Then the tears started. She wasn't yet ready.
Resigned, he held her, disappointed but not really surprised. Her reticence was too firmly entrenched to be abolished by the events of a single night.
"I thought I could," she said into his chest. "The dance—maybe you should fetch Doe."
"She understands that this is not allowed."
"It is if I say so!"
"No. You do not wish this."
"Because I should be doing it myself!" she flared. "If only I could forget. I still think that if you forced me a little—"
"No."
"But, Darius, I may never get past it on my own."
"The time will surely come."
"Say—maybe if you imagined it, and I read your mind, then it would be okay."
"I'm not sure it would. The barrier is emotional, not physical."
"Well, try it anyway. I've got to know."
So he started a train of imagination, picturing her nude, coming to him, lying beside him, spreading her legs. She was actually in that position. Then he pictured himself naked, embracing her, as he was doing, seeking to make the sexual connection.
She rolled out of the bed as if propelled and fell on the floor. "Damn!"
"Now you know," he said sadly.
"Now I know. But it isn't fair of me to—I mean, I may be hung up, but you're not. So if Doe—"
"No." She was trying so hard to be fair, by her pained definition.
"She loves you." Her emotion was bittersweet. Colene loved him too, but could not do what she knew Doe could, if given leave.
"I know. It's not the same."
She sighed. "I guess not." She returned to the bed, and hugged him. He kept his thoughts away from sex. "But some day, some how, I'll find a way."
"Some day," he agreed.
"Darius, we've got to get back on the Virtual Mode."
"To do that, I must take the chain."
She laughed. "How about a chain of paper clips?"
"Whatever it's made of, its meaning remains. I would have to take the Chip to Ddwng."
"And you can't do that," she said. "I understand." She forced a laugh. "You know, Ddwng's the one person in this universe fouled up worse than I am. I read his mind; it's a cesspool of conflict. He can never be satisfied. That's why he's so dangerous."
Something about that changed his perspective, but he wasn't sure how.
"Well, tell me about your trip," she said. "I mean the parts you didn't tell the villagers. Especially about how it was with Doe."
She could read his superficial thoughts, but not his deeper ones, and memories were beyond her reach unless specifically called to mind. But when he did call them to mind, she could pick up pictures and feelings as well as words. She was indeed jealous of his association with Doe.
"You bet I am," she said. "She could do it with you, if you let her. I can't. She's a whole female, even if not quite human."
So she resented Doe's capacity, rather than her physical appearance.
"Yeah. Only I'd kill to have that shape, too. She's actually as lovely as Nona, in her fashion."
"Your shape is not inferior."
"You're only saying that because you're stuck with me. The vessel of dolor."
That was a problem. If only there were some way to change her from dolor to joy.
"You're right, Darius. I'm bad for you. I should get out of your way. Then you could—"
He caught her head and kissed her.
"You know it really irks me when you think that you can shut me up with a kiss. As if I have no mind at all."
He patted her bare bottom. She stiffened, then relaxed, knowing that he had no intention of going farther.
"It irks me worse when it works." She was smiling. She liked the semblance of lovemaking when it was no more than that. She couldn't handle the imagination of sex, but could handle its touch—to a degree. Each night he was able to do a bit more with her, as long as his intention was negative. They both hoped that one night they would be able to take it farther, but progress was slow. "It works because it's true; I can feel your real desire when you touch me like that."
He stroked her buttock, and she was silent. He reviewed the dialogues he had had with Doe, summoning salient images, then moving along to others, in sequence. This was faster than words, because of the detail of the images. Soon he had caught her up to the present, his hand still cupping her.
"If Doe loves you, but kn
ows she can't have you, why did she kiss you so openly?" she demanded suddenly.
"She's pragmatic. If she can't get what she wants, she'll take what she can get. In this case, it is protection from the sexual interest of others."
"I think she did it for me," Colene said. "To show me she's not sneaking around, but is damn well available if I don't want you. And it almost worked. I was determined to do it. Damn!"
"Nevertheless, I think I had best stay clear of her."
" 'Cause you like her too well," she agreed.
Then his elusive thought coalesced. "Yes. I have reason to depart this planet."
"But you can't, unless—"
"Yes. There is risk either way. But the Virtual Mode is dangerous; anything might happen there. If I stay, a null will get me, for they are feeling creatures, more human that they realize. You would not like that."
"I know how I can stop it." But her body tightened as she spoke.
"Knowledge is not the same as feeling. You must have time to handle your feeling. You may not have that time if I continue to be exposed to temptation of this nature. In my own culture I could indulge without prejudicing my relationship with my wife, but you are not like that."
"I am not like that," she agreed grimly.
"I will take the chain."
"But Darius, this is crazy! I'm not asking you to do that."
"Because you love me."
"Yes. But—"
He patted her bottom, and this time she did not flinch, even unconsciously. "And I love you. And one day we shall be together, truly making love instead of pretending. But I think not while we are captive in the DoOon Mode. If we remain here too long, injured Goat will recover, and the Caprines will resume their position as the primary team to accompany us."
"And if Doe hasn't seduced you by then, she'll have endless more chances," Colene agreed.
"There is that risk. I do like her, partly because she is honest about her feeling. I am more guarded with Pussy."
"I have come to know Pussy. She is catering to me so that I will know she is not catering to you. I—like her. And I think I trust her. She will not try to seduce you. Of course if you came to her and demanded sex, she'd do it. She couldn't help it. But I'd rather have her along than Doe."