"Yes. They are very similar in that both are female-nulls, but I was tempted by Doe more severely than I was by Pussy. The difference is in me. I was prepared to resist Pussy, but unprepared for Doe. So I think I had better take the chain now."
"Darius, I can't argue with you. I'm feeling your feeling as we touch. You are blocked from me and from Doe, but you could have sex with her without hurting her. So if it were her bottom you were feeling, instead of mine—"
"The urge would be severe," he said. "Because I love you, I want you to know the threat."
"Which I could abolish just like that, if only—damn, damn, damn!"
She kept coming back to that. The threat was real. "I will take the chain tomorrow."
"No! Maybe we can salvage something from this. Let me tell them that I think I can persuade you to take the chain, but there are some things they have to do in exchange."
"I am not making demands on them."
"But I am. And you won't take the chain if I tell you no, will you?" She didn't need his answer, reading his mind. "So it's not a lie, just a qualification."
She was right. Her definitions of truth were not his own, but he had learned before that compromise was necessary. She was what she was, and did what she did, following her own rules, and he had to accept her as she was.
Yet it was too bad that when the Chip first oriented on her as a potential multiplier of emotion, it had not identified the problem: that her power multiplied dolor, not joy. He had never anticipated that. Colene was a woman of considerable potential, and her growing ability with telepathy was only part of it. But how were they to reconcile her fundamental wrongness for his purpose? He wished he had understood this problem before falling in love with her.
"Yes, I am definitely bad for you," she said. "And you can't even use me and throw me away. We are a disaster in progress."
"We are," he agreed. Then he kissed her.
"I know you want to help Doe and the other nulls, including those human ones that look like us. So let's put that price on your chain."
"Oh, Colene, I hadn't thought of that."
"I know. But it's a way I can please you, and I do want to do that." This time she kissed him. He knew she felt his special pleasure in her generous gesture, and in her kiss.
They relaxed. He did believe that they were making personal progress, and that at some point Colene would conquer her sexual demon. But the dolor—how was that ever going to be handled? He could not resume his business at home without a suitable source of joy.
Colene suddenly came alert. "The nulls! Do they have joy? Maybe you could use them."
"No. I drew from Doe, as a demonstration. She was ordinary in that respect. That means all of them are."
She went tense, then expressed her notion. "How about Nona?"
"She also is ordinary in that respect."
"Sure, without her magic. But what about when she has it? Why couldn't she turn her powers to multiplying joy?"
That was disturbingly interesting. Nona's powers of magic were formidable. If she could magically restore her joy, it would indeed be an answer. But even so, there were problems.
"She's beautiful, nice, and Old Enough," Colene said. "The perfect match for you."
"Except for two things," he said. "She's not interested, and I'm not interested."
"So you turn her down. Which does two things: it saves me, and ruins you. Darius, you need her for your job."
"I am not sure of that."
"The weird thing is that you really aren't sure," she said. "But you had better test her."
"When she has her magic," he agreed reluctantly. And what would he do, if Nona turned out to be the one? She was in all respects the ideal woman—and he wasn't interested in getting interested in her. Because it would surely cost him Colene.
"If I didn't love you already, I would love you for that."
"It's a good thing I am not a liar," he muttered. "Because—"
"Because I'd read your mind," she finished. "Oh, Darius, you really are my ideal man. If only I could have been what you need."
"If you raise this subject again, I will tickle you."
"Well, it's true. I'm not only too young, I'm a vessel of—"
Then she screamed as he ticked her bottom. She writhed around, trying to escape, but his fingers pursued her, catching her in most intimate regions. She grabbed a pillow and whammed him on the head, but finally collapsed into helpless giggles.
"God, Darius, this is sex play," she gasped. "Maybe if you tickled me enough—"
"I think not yet," he said regretfully. "But I did get an illicit thrill touching your parts."
"It's not illicit!" But they knew there was no future in that. Not till she could follow through.
Then at last they slept.
In the morning they approached Cat. "I think I can get Darius to take the chain," she said. "But there are terms."
"Of course," Cat said, knowing that the key to Darius' agreement was indeed Colene.
"The Caprines—they won't go on the Virtual Mode, but they have to be treated right."
"This is not something you need to do," Cat said. "I assumed you would demand concessions for yourselves." But it seemed gratified.
"And the—the Human nulls," Colene continued, evidently reading Cat's mind to verify what she knew. "Them too. All four of them."
"This is your true desire?"
"Look, Cat, the revolution on this planet could fizzle out if it isn't properly guided. What happens if we go now? I figure the Caprines and the Human nulls can take over."
"This planet is not the responsibility of the nulls on this mission."
"It is if we say it is," Colene said evenly. "Bring the human nulls here, we'll brief them, and Darius will take the chain if Ddwng will take it too."
"Ddwng cannot be bound by any chain!"
"Well, he'll have to give his word. Three Caprines, four humans, working on this planet indefinitely. No recycling."
Cat looked at Darius. "While I do not question Colene's word on this, I need your stated confirmation."
"You have it," Darius said.
Cat turned and walked back to the house. "Cat has an interspace communication link there," Colene murmured. "It is very pleased to be thrown into this briar patch."
"Are not briars painful?"
She grabbed his hand and projected an explanatory thought. The expression derived from her local folklore about a fox and rabbit.
Pussy and Doe approached, near twins in body and nature beneath their superficial distinctions. Pussy hugged Colene and Doe hugged Darius. Both were bursting with the joy of the moment. He was glad to have done it for them, despite his considerable misgiving about taking the chain.
FOUR
Travel
Nona was amazed by the suddenness of the settlement. Darius had gone with the dragon, returned with the lovely female Caprine called Doe, and now was ready to accept the cruel Emperor Ddwng's mission. What had happened? She knew that Darius had an iron will in matters of conscience, and Colene could not have charmed him into it.
Well, she would doubtless learn the story in good time. Meanwhile, she was satisfied with the settlement. The nulls were good people despite their dedication to an unscrupulous regime, and the other members of their party needed to get back on the Virtual Mode.
Darius had an unsettling surprise for her. "I drew joy from Doe, and returned it," he said. "I thought I could do this only in my own Mode, or when connected to it by Seqiro, but I do seem to have a portion of my ability here. I need to know whether you can handle such drawing without suffering erosion. Your powers of magic in the Fractal Mode suggest that you can."
"This is not something I know about," Nona said uncertainly. Actually he had drawn from her once, and spread her magic to others, but that had been on the Virtual Mode in Seqiro's presence. Without the powerful connecting telepathy of the horse, that seemed impossible. "I know you have magic in your home Mode, but it is not the same as mine.
"
"I draw joy from a woman, multiply it a thousandfold, and broadcast it to the throng. But the level is always slightly less than my subject starts with. It was my quest for a vessel of joy who could maintain her level that brought me to Colene."
Nona was familiar with that problem of theirs. She did not want to interfere with their relationship in any way. "She has special talents."
"But she is a vessel of dolor. That destroys the prospect."
Which was their tragedy. The two had fallen in love, and were diametrically ill-matched. Nona wanted no part of that complication, either. So she remained wary. "What exactly are you asking of me?"
"I want to draw joy from you, and return it—and discover whether you can maintain your level."
"That is not the type of magic I ever practiced. But I am without my magic now, so this can not be ascertained."
"I have a little of mine. Colene has a little of hers. You may have a little of yours. Enough to test."
Could that be? She still did not trust this. "And suppose I test positive. That I hold my level of joy. What then?"
"Then I would ask you to return with me to my Mode and be my wife."
Just like that? Nona knew better. For one thing, Darius was already married. "And what of Colene?"
"She would be my mistress."
"So you want both of us?"
"No. I want Colene. But I can not use her as my vessel of joy, which must be my wife. For this purpose, a wife is a business partner, not a lover."
It was beginning to come clear. Darius could love Colene if he didn't have to draw joy from her. Nona would not be coming between them. This had its appeal, for Darius was a man whose power of magic perhaps matched Nona's, in his separate fashion. But the idea of serving him in this manner without being his lover had much less appeal. He was aware of beauty in women, and she was beautiful. There would inevitably come a physical attraction between them. They could not allow that. Should he lose Colene, Nona could afford to love him. As it was, she could not.
Maybe the drawing would not work, in this Mode without magic, or she would be depleted. That would solve that aspect of the problem. "Try me."
"I think you need to have your magic, for the trial to be valid."
She was relieved. "Then it must wait for another time. Perhaps on the Virtual Mode. Perhaps in range of my home Mode." Regardless, it would postpone the problem.
Colene appeared. "No. We can try it now. I think I can connect you to your magic, a little."
Nona looked at her, surprised on more than one level. "You can do that? And you wish me to succeed?"
"Yes and yes. It would solve our problem. And we could remain together."
Nona did prefer to remain with the group, or the hive, as Burgess considered it. She liked all its members, and they understood her situation. Still, this was too chancy. "But to have me that close to Darius—"
"It's a hell of a lot better than the risk of losing him."
One thing about Colene: she was a vessel of realism. But also of suicidal risk. She knew that Darius might fall in love with Nona—and was putting him into that danger. Now more than ever, she hoped the test failed. "Try me," she repeated.
Colene came close and took Nona's hand. Nona felt the power of her rapport. She was evoking the memory of Seqiro, trying to reach out across the Modes to connect to the Fractal Mode.
Then Darius embraced her, while Colene still held her hand. He held her close—and then she felt herself sinking into an impossibly deep well, truly down into the pointlessness of life and welcoming of death. It was awful. She found it, struggling to hold on to her joy, but his power was overwhelming.
He released her and stepped back. Then she felt a blast of psychic energy that restored her. She was herself again, shaken but all right.
"You retained your joy!" Colene cried. "And now I have a share of it; I'm much happier than I was. Oh, Nona, you're the answer!"
Nona knew that it was true. She had restored some of her own joy, so that she was not depleted. That meant that their plan was viable, if they escaped the DoOon Mode and got to Darius' home Mode. Now they had an answer.
So why was she still in doubt?
She did not comment. Instead she smiled vacantly and walked away, hoping that Colene was not reading her mind. She would try to sort out her true feelings at another time.
The next few days were busy. Their purpose was to establish the dragon deal in as many villages of as many types of nulls as possible before departing. Other dragons came and carried individual members of their party together with translator Felines to the closest villages of Equines, Bovines, and Canines, and they made their dramatic case. It was clear that the news was spreading rapidly, for the villagers were ready to watch and listen.
Nona went with Tom to see an Ovine village. They rode the dragon of that region, and Nona spoke while Tom translated, using mostly signs. The Rams, Ewes, and Sheep understood, but were extremely doubtful. They had never known anything but terror of the dragons. Nona went and fetched lambs from the orphanage and put them on the dragon, and gradually the tide of disbelief turned. The Ovines wanted very much to be free of predation, and this promised that. They knew that similar demonstrations were being made at neighboring villages. They wanted to have the new order, if only it wasn't some awful hoax.
What a revolution Colene had fostered! The entire planet would change in the next few months, becoming a far better place for all its inhabitants. If the emperor did not act to prevent it—and Darius' stipulation went far to prevent that. Ddwng evidently was satisfied to let the planet change, in return for the coveted Chip.
And with that Chip, Ddwng would savage the neighboring Modes, raiding them ruthlessly for supplies and genetic material. Their inhabitants would be executed or enslaved, their cultures destroyed. How could Darius have agreed to that? She knew he would not break his given word, but he was giving it, it seemed, entirely too readily.
So she was distracted as she made the presentation to the village. But the Ovines seemed to be convinced. They would be increasingly satisfied as time confirmed the deal.
The next day they went to a Swine village. As they hiked toward it, the Feline become sullen.
"What is it, Tom?" she asked.
"Nothing that need concern you, Nona."
"Tom, we have to work together, so what concerns you does concern me. But if it is a private matter, I don't mean to pry."
He turned to her. "I must not keep anything from you that you wish to know. But I think this is not something that you would care to know."
"Then let me experiment. Tell me, and if I wish I had not asked, I will heed your warning next time."
"It is that a Boar raped Doe. We learned of this when we trained with the Caprines, and came to respect them. We never liked the Swine much, and now like them less. I dislike having to help them escape the dragon."
Nona walked in silence for a while, considering that. She knew that Tom liked Doe, and had as the nulls put it humped her many times, before she encountered Darius. Colene had picked that up from their minds, and told Nona. That had obviously been entirely voluntary; Nona had seen how joyfully the female Felines related to the visiting males of other persuasions. The visiting females were just as ardent, and none had been forced. Nona wasn't sure, but she suspected that a single mare had managed to have sexual relations with every tom in the local village in one night. But when a cow had declined a tom's invitation, he had not insisted. Later in the evening, the cow had asked the tom; it was her preference to take the initiative. It was always a matter of mutual choice. "I think your anger is justified. Rape is objectionable in our culture too. Was the boar punished?"
"In a manner. The Caprines could not make a formal protest, because the Swine are favored by the Emperor. That is why they are so arrogant. But Goat made a private arrangement, and the boar ran afoul of a hound who was specially trained, and the Canine killed him."
"We understand vengeance too. So then
it should be all right with you."
"It should be," he agreed.
"But it's not?"
"Do you understand that we nulls may have sex only with nulls not of our own type?"
This had been obvious, but a null never presumed that a master or mistress was already fully informed. "Yes, I had gathered that." Now was her chance to obtain information openly, so as not to give away Colene's power of mind reading. "So you and Doe—"
"Yes. Because our association was extended, and during training we did not associate with other nulls, she and I had considerable intimacy. I—came to have stronger feeling for her than I have known elsewhere."
"This is romance, Tom. There is nothing wrong with that."
"It is discouraged between nulls, because we must serve our human masters. We can love our masters or mistresses, and Doe does love Darius, but that is another matter. So Doe and I do not love each other. But her pain of memory—it hurts me. It was caused by a Swine."
"That is romantic, Tom! I see no evil in that."
"Sometimes directives were relayed to us by Swine. Doe tried to hide it, but I felt her aversion, and my anger renewed. She is a good creature."
"I am sure she is. Your feeling is understandable."
"But I could not help her. When we humped, sometimes she cringed. She always denied it, and masked it well, for nulls are not supposed to have sexual reservations, but I knew it was that memory. I learned to avoid whatever manner or position reminded her of that boar. I hate the Swine!"
"And now we are going to help Swine make peace with their dragon," she concluded. "I wish I could help you, Tom, but I think I am as helpless in that respect as you were with Doe."
"It does not matter. It is right to help the Swine too, and I will do it."
"Despite your aversion," she agreed. "That is commendable."
He was grim. "It is necessary."
Their dialogue lapsed, but not her thoughts. Tom's attitude impressed her favorably, and reminded her of someone. It did not take her long to identify the comparison: Darius. Darius put honor and duty before all else, and was in her estimation an ideal man because of it. The kind of man she had not discovered on her home world of Oria. But of course Darius was taken, and she would never try to change that. Unfortunately he had set a standard in her fancy, and this left her unable to truly appreciate other men. Not that she had had much chance, during their travels on the Virtual Mode. Her main hope was that when they finally reached Darius' home Mode, there would be other men like him.