“Them?” My mom and Beckett asked together.
“Fin and his friends. They all run track together. Jameson McKay, Charlie Ryan and Gunner Gu-, no Ben Gunning.” My mother started to ask more questions but my brothers made grumbling sounds of disapproval. “We’re just friends.”
“But he wants to be more,” Grayson asked, suddenly calm and collected. Where Beckett was all impulsive anger and reactive action, Grayson was thoughtful and calculating. Silence and reserve were deadly on Grayson.
“I don’t know what he wants,” I answered honestly. And I didn’t. After last Thursday when he went from acting like my boyfriend to practically recoiling from my touch. I officially had no idea what he wanted.
Beckett snorted. “How many times do I have to tell you, he’s bad news, Els?”
“You’ve told me enough times. However many it’s been, that’s been enough. What do you have against him anyway?”
“Plenty,” Beckett growled.
“What does that even mean?” I sighed, giving my mom a beseeching glance.
“It means whatever it is was probably over a girl and he’s embarrassed to talk about,” Grayson interpreted.
“Oh, Ok. I get it.” I smirked at Beckett even though the idea of Fin with another girl was giving me indigestion. I knew that didn’t make sense since I had been reminding myself that he was with other girls frequently. Earlier today I had even confirmed- as Fin- for a date later tonight.
But now it made me feel all icky inside.
“It wasn’t over a girl,” Beckett defended.
“Beckett, dear,” my mom looked at him over the bridge of her nose and he slunk down into his chair with his arms crossed. Classic Beckett pout.
“Fine, it was over a girl,” he mumbled.
With that settled we fell into easy conversation and I was thankful the issue of Fin wasn’t brought up again, although both of my brothers were giving me discerning looks.
After lunch Beckett fell asleep on Grayson’s couch while mom and I took over the dishes and Grayson chatted with us some more in the kitchen. Once the dishes were done and the food stored away I felt like I could escape without making much fuss. I walked casually over to my purse and picked it up.
“I better go, I have to study,” I announced.
“Oh, I suppose,” mom sighed but she stepped forward to give me a hug. “We will see you next weekend. And if you can get away, your father and I are going to fly to Beckett’s super-regionals; we would love for you to come. It’s not for a while yet though, you have time to think about it.”
“I’ll think about it. It probably depends on how long you’ll be gone and what week it is.” Or I probably wouldn’t think about it.
“I’ll walk you down, Els,” Grayson offered. Which was nice, but maybe too nice.
“Ok. Bye, Becks!” I called over my shoulder and got a grunt and a half wave in return.
Down in front of my car, Grayson looked me over trying to read something again. I crossed my eyes at him, hoping he would stop but he just smiled at me like I was an entertaining child.
“I have something I want you to give to Hunter tomorrow,” Grayson instructed once I had my keys out.
“I probably won’t see him.” Complete lie. My pants were about to start on fire.
“Don’t you have class?”
“Well, yes.” This felt like a trap.
“Then your chances of seeing him are greater than my chances. He’ll be around campus, just find him, give him this,” he held up a white, sealed envelope, “And then you’ve done me a favor. I’ll owe you.”
“Oh great,” I enthused dryly. “Can’t wait to cash in on that.”
He ignored my sarcasm, “Will you give it to him?”
“If I can find him,” I agreed and then snatched the envelope from his hand.
“Ellie,” Grayson started and I knew it was going to be serious because “Ellie” was basically my first, middle and last name to Grayson who only ever called me “Els.” “I don’t think he’s the guy that Beckett thinks he is.”
He let that sink in until I was forced to finally say, “Ok.”
“But from what I know of him, he’s not good enough for you either.” His tone was so solemn, so sincere that I had to agree with him.
“Ok.”
He studied me for a moment longer and I fought not to cringe under his intensity. “See you later, Els,” he finally said and then pulled me into a bear hug.
“Yeah, later Gray.”
----
I turned my phone on as soon as I got home. I had it shut off the entire weekend just on the off chance Fin would happen to text while I was with my mom or brothers. That would be hard for other people, not being connected for several days in a row, but it was easy for me. I liked hiding out, not answering texts or phone calls. It was freeing.
Besides, Britte had been holed up all weekend studying and she was the only one I cared about hearing from anyway.
The texts started pouring in as soon as my phone had a chance to warm up.
I waded through Britte’s study break gibberish and random Biology facts and ignored the two from Colton. I could only imagine what he had to say to me. There was one from Beckett about lunch earlier, but I guess he figured that out and one from my dad telling me how much he wished he could have come down with mom this weekend. There was even one from Lennox with another offer to pay my rent.
I texted back to that one. It said: middle finger.
And then there were the ones from Fin….
Friday he said this: I hate how we left things yesterday. I’m not that much of a jackass.
Then Saturday afternoon, I got all these spaced several minutes apart: I took Regionals in 400, 800 and 1600. 4X4 made it too.
Nothing?
I wasn’t bragging….
I’m looking more like a jackass every sEcond, huh??
Finally today, he must have had enough because I got these lovelies: I get it. And I AM sticking to my word. I’m just trying to make things NOT awkward.
Fine.
They stopped for a while and then thirty minutes ago he sent this: Tomorrow meet me at the track at 8:30. Wear running clothes and shoes. Don’t argue with me.
I rolled my eyes. He was such a girl. Yeesh.
So I texted him back: You are such a girl! yeesh!
My phone was off all weekend. I literally just got your texts.
He didn’t text back right away so I started getting ready to study. I pulled out my books, changed into sweats, made myself a snack, which would double as an early dinner; leftovers a la mom. And when he still hadn’t texted back I decided that he was trying to initiate payback.
I felt bad that he thought I was blowing him off or ignoring him because of our talk the other night. But only because he seemed so worried about it and he had a way of getting me wrapped up in his emotions.
It was probably for the best anyway. I did not need to spend a weekend texting Fin back in front of my family. They would have no doubt figured it out and then sent me to a convent.
Did people still do that?
That would make a good study break activity. Note to self, google “sending away to convent.”
Finally the studying came to a close and my stomach was mostly satisfied. I brushed my teeth, washed my face and then crawled into bed.
Just as I was plugging my phone in for the night-unnecessary, but habit- Fin texted back. I noticed it was eleven thirty. The realization came to me that I sent Lara Karston over there this evening and I couldn’t help but wonder if he was just now finishing with her.
Oh gross.
His text said: I’m not a girl.
So I had to text back: Are you sure? You have so many emotions. You kind of seem like a girl.
It’s you. YOU make me have all these emotions. They’re driving me crazy.
Shouldn’t have blamed me for losing 7k. This is what you get when you falsely accuse someone.
This is what I get wi
th you.
I was at a loss so I pulled out the big guns and texted back: middle finger.
I don’t know what that means. But I do have a way for you to get out of this deal we have going on. Are you going to come to the track prepared?
I’m always prepared. I was never prepared. But this felt like a standoff and it was important I appeared tough.
Good.
Good.
See you tomorrow Ellie.
Whatever. Psht. Obviously I won that round.
And even though I was snarky and rude, I couldn’t wipe the wide, happy smile off my face. It was fun to flirt with Fin.
Way too much fun.
Chapter Thirteen
The days were getting longer at the early part of April, but eight thirty still meant almost darkness. The track lights were on, and flooded the red surface of the track and football field of green grass in the middle. The arena was still messy from the long regional meet over the weekend. The big heavy mat from pole vaulting lay askew near the triple jump and the hurdles were stacked neatly on top of each other and in long rows but just barely out of the way of the track.
I stretched under the lights not exactly sure what Fin was planning. Last week we decided that I would spend my required time tonight at his apartment working on tasks. His text threw me, but his promise for a way out of my predicament intrigued me enough to be anxious for whatever he was planning.
The track was nearly empty tonight. The lights would be turned off soon, and those lagging runners seemed to be finishing up their runs before leaving for the night.
He was late. I fixed my hair, redoing my high ponytail so it was tighter. And then I stretched some more.
When he finally appeared on the far side of the track I realized I was nervous. And not just for his proposition. I hadn’t seen him in days…. I was nervous to be near him.
My stomach was jittery and jumpy, my skin tingled with anticipation and I repressed the urge to redo my hair…. again.
I tried to avoid this, tried to stop it from happening…. but I was falling for Fin Hunter.
I wondered if I ever had a chance.
He stalked forward, purpose and intent written all over his determined face. His eyes were almost black with some unnamed emotion and his body rigid like he was preparing to attack.
I stood still, frozen in place by anticipation. “Hey,” I called out weakly, but he just cut a look at me and shook his head.
Finally he was standing over me, just inches away. He looked down at me, trapping me in the gravity of his body. He lifted a hand and for a moment I thought he was going to touch me, but it turned into an accusing finger and he said, “You, Ellie Harris, are a troublemaker.”
Sputtering and noticing that his intensity was driven by anger; I choked out, “What? Me? Why?”
“Girls have been showing up at my door for the past two weeks!” his voice raised just a little bit and I let out a snicker of laughter before I could stop myself. He gave me a glaring look and continued, “I thought I was losing my mind. I thought I was somehow flirting with all these girls, giving them the impression I was asking for this!”
His rant only made me want to laugh harder, so I mashed my lips together and waited for him to finish.
“I had no idea most of those girls were into me! I thought we were friends.” His eyes narrowed and he said, “Not anymore.”
“Why’s that?” I asked innocently.
“It’s hard to stay friends after you….” he trailed off and looked away, embarrassed suddenly.
Oh. Oh no. I sent them there to tease him, and because he was crazy if he thought those girls only wanted friendship. They were sending him private Facebook messages practically propositioning him. And at the time I assumed he was the kind of guy to behave like that.
But now….
Now that he came clean about it, I found I was very disappointed in him.
And suddenly really, really sick to my stomach.
“I suppose it is,” I sniped. “So why am I here Fin? How can I get out of this debt?” I sounded bitter even to my own ears and I flushed with humiliation. I made this bed, now I had to lie in it…. I just really didn’t want to.
“Are you mad at me?” he asked incredulously.
“No.”
“You’re mad at me,” he sounded shocked, completely in disbelief.
“I just think it’s unfair how you treated all those girls. I was just teasing you, I never expected you to…. you know.” He was going to realize how much I liked him, in this very moment. He was going to realize how pathetic I was. Jealousy was never attractive. To save myself I threw out, “It just seems kind of cruel.”
“Wait,” he demanded, taking a step closer to me. “You’re upset that I didn’t sleep with them? That seems cruel to you?”
His words sunk in slowly as if my brain was having a hard time comprehending them, like it refused to believe the meaning of what he was saying. “I don’t understand,” I finally admitted. “You didn’t sleep with them?”
“Why would you think I slept with them?” he asked more dumbfounded than ever. Before I could answer he got a little bit louder and said, “You think I slept with all of them? All five of them in three weeks?”
“Well, no, I mean….” Uh oh. He was seething now. “I have three brothers!” That was the weakest defense and I knew it, but still.
“So what? Just because you’re three brothers treat girls like trash doesn’t mean I’m going to. Is that what you think of me? That’s really how you think I would react to random girls, I barely know, showing up on my doorstep?” He wasn’t shouting, in fact his voice had gone perilously soft, his body dangerously still.
“Ok, not all of my brothers would do that. Probably just Beckett,” I amended my argument before I addressed the rest of his defense.
“Well, Beckett has a…. short attention span,” he agreed, his face softening just a teeny bit. “Do you really think I’m that bad, Ellie? Do you think I’m just like Beckett?”
No, I didn’t. Maybe at first, but not anymore. Not for a while. I sighed and then admitted, “Maybe at first, but I don’t anymore. It was a joke, it got out of hand. I’m…. I’m sorry.” And now I felt terrible. Great.
He gazed down at me for almost a full minute, probably trying to decide if I was serious or not. “Did I pass?”
“Excuse me?”
“It was a test wasn’t it?” his voice was relaxed and almost playful. He was making me nervous again, I didn’t trust him. “Did I pass?”
“I suppose you did,” I admitted, but my eyes were narrowed at him.
“Good,” he sighed, but then his expression went grim again, “But Ellie, don’t do that again. I won’t be as understanding and it’s not nice to involve other people in our relationship.”
“We don’t have a relationship,” I retorted quickly, automatically. But then I softened too, “But you’re right. It’s not and I won’t.”
“Good,” he repeated. “Now we can get to why we’re really here. How you can get out of this debt.”
“How’s that?” I waved him on with a lazy hand.
He smiled down at me. “The same way you got into it, a bet.”
“What do you mean?” The hair on the back of my neck stood up and my fingers started to tremble with anticipation. I realized for the first time that Fin was dressed for running too, with black athletic shorts, a gray t-shirt and his running shoes.
“Once around the track, you win, I’ll release you from the debt completely,” he offered magnanimously. In my head I was screaming for this opportunity all the while I was talking myself out of it because of how ridiculous the chances were. He just won regionals for the four hundred. The best I ever did was third at state…. for girls and that was two years ago. There was no way.
But still, I played, “What do you get?”
“A date.” His serious tone made it clear he would not be convinced of something else. This was what he wanted, this was what h
e was going to get.
“A date? We spend two nights a week together,” I argued. “Plus, you buy me dinner all the time.”
“A real date Ellie, separated from all this bullshit we’re tangled up in. You let me take you out,” Fin was steely and sure. “And we don’t let any of this get in the way.”
I was wavering, because this was starting to sound like a win-win. “But I thought you needed the money?”
His jaw ticked with frustration, but he said, “I’ll figure it out. This is for you. Take it or leave it.”
“I want to take it,” I admitted and I watched his shoulders relax noticeably. “But you have to realize this isn’t fair. You are one of the fastest people on the planet, how exactly is this evenly matched?”
“On the planet?” he laughed.
“Ok, that I’ve ever met.”
“I’m giving you the inside lane and I’m going to run backwards,” he finished matter of factly.
“Yikes, don’t spare my pride or anything,” I grumbled. But it was actually starting to sound fair.
“You’re fast, Ellie. This should be easy for you.”
It should be if he was running backwards. He was right. Plus, he was giving me a fight, not just backing down. I could leave with my integrity.
“Ok,” I finally admitted in an uneasy voice. “I’ll take your bet.”
A smile broke out on his face, blinding and bright. His hair was perfectly tussled, his eyes dark and twinkling. Fin Hunter was staggering. I let out an unsteady breath and hoped he assumed it was from nerves.
“Go line up, I’m going to stretch first,” he instructed.
I walked over to the starting line of the inside lane and did a few more calf stretches and then some high knees to warm up. The lights were still bright above me but the night beyond them was pitch dark. We were alone in the stadium, the only ones left on the track.
I breathed deeply a few times. I was really nervous for this. My fingers weren’t trembling anymore they were shaking. I felt the familiar nausea I always dealt with before every one of my races in high school. My throat itched, my forehead started sweating and my mouth salivated excessively.
I was going to puke.