“Do you want to be a radiologist?” I asked like he had a choice in the matter, like Fin would be doing something he didn’t want to.
“Sure, but most of all I want to take care of Declan. That’s all I really care about,” he finished firmly. “That’s all I’ve ever really cared about.”
“You’re a good man,” I whispered but I knew he heard me when he tensed next to me. “I’m sorry I accused you of turning me into a hooker. That wasn’t fair.”
He snorted a laugh. “I get your argument though. I’ll stop trying to seduce you.”
“Thank you,” I laughed back. “You almost succeeded.”
“Did I?” He swiveled to face me, his eyes heated with that same intensity.
“Well, your kissing could use some work, but your hands seemed to know exactly what they were doing.”
“Ellie,” he groaned like he was actually in pain. “I’ve never met anyone like you before. And I have no idea what to do with you.”
“I’ll tell you what to do,” I said sincerely. “Tell me you’ll see me Thursday and give me a hug so that I know you’re alright.”
Fin stood up with me and pulled me against his chest. His body was hot against my cooled skin and I adored being wrapped in his warmth. I nuzzled against his chest and he let out a contented sigh. When he let me go, he reached for my hand again and walked us to our cars.
“I’ll see you Thursday,” he said obediently. “But we’re going to figure this out.”
I reached up to kiss him on the cheek, letting my lips linger on his skin longer than was probably appropriate. But after this I was confident he would back off forever now, especially since I knew how important the money was to him.
“See you Thursday,” I whispered against his face and then got in my car and left.
There was so much more to Fin than I ever understood. And my heart was gone. Completely. How would I ever get over him after all that?
It wasn’t just an attraction anymore. It was a desire to get him his money, but this time for Declan. It was a stupid dream to give him a partner in life, someone to help him look forward to the future that didn’t have to be lonely or heavy.
Ugh. I was one of those girls now.
And now I needed to call my parents and tell them how much I loved them.
All thanks to Fin Hunter.
Chapter Fourteen
“Do you known what?” Fin interrupted my spreadsheet analysis for the fifth time in an hour.
“What?” I asked exasperatedly. Things had gone pretty much back to awkward friendship, which really meant just sizzling sexual tension. I was having a hard enough time concentrating without Fin constantly distracting me.
“I think I won the bet the other night.”
“Excuse me?” I asked dryly.
“Well, we made a bet, and since neither of us backed out, there has to be a winner. I think we’ve established the fact that you are not the winner, as evidenced by the fact that you’re here, working with me now.” He paused as if for dramatic effect.
“So you’re telling me you won?”
“Well, would you like to admit that you won?” he asked, seeming to choose his words carefully.
I thought it over and almost laughed when I realized he trapped me. “And if I did admit that?”
“Then obviously you would collect your winnings.”
“Which are?”
“You are free of the debt,” Fin turned to face me then, his eyes serious and dark.
“I didn’t win though, so I can’t be free,” I admitted. It wasn’t even my debt and here I was hanging on to it. Gosh, I was such an idiot. But after everything Fin opened up about I couldn’t just walk away from this money anymore. I was tied to helping Declan as much as he was.
“Ok, then I’ll collect my winnings,” Fin’s gaze held me transfixed, his expression so full of want I couldn’t catch my breath.
“I thought we agreed that was a bad idea,” I whispered.
“It’s just a date, Ellie,” he reminded me gently. “And we agreed that during it we would leave the bet completely out of it.”
“Fine,” I puffed out. “You can take me out for my birthday.”
“When’s your birthday?” Fin asked, a smile already lighting his face up.
“You know I ran high school track, but you don’t know when my birthday is? Tisk, tisk,” I scolded, turning back to my computer.
“You’re right, that is an oversight on my part. I guess it was one fact I didn’t commit to memory. I do know that you’re turning twenty-one though. And the only reason I know that is because I don’t usually let minors into my poker games, but it seems for you I was making a lot of exceptions.”
“Believe me, I do not thank you for that. Anyway, it’s technically today, but you can have your date tomorrow night. After I’ve had time to mentally process this and dress up for it.”
“Sounds good,” he smirked at me. “But how are we going to celebrate your birthday today?”
“You’re just trying to get two dates out of me!”
“Not true,” he denied but I saw him smile out of the corner of my eye. “Ok, maybe a little true.”
I laughed, I couldn’t help myself. Sometimes he was adorable. “Well, I did bring something to share with you….”
“Really?” He sounded surprised.
I stood up and walked over to my backpack that was sitting on his couch. I dug out the bottle of sake Lennox brought me back from Japan and held it up proudly. His expression grew wicked as he looked over the bottle, recognizing what it was immediately.
I brought it over not wanting to drink it alone on my twenty-first birthday, that felt a little lame. And I thought about asking Britte to share it with me back at my apartment, but instead found myself shoving it in my backpack right before I came over here. I didn’t want to examine my motives to carefully. I just wanted to do something fun on my birthday.
“Is that sake?” he asked sounding a little impressed.
“I guess. Lennox brought it back for me from one of his business trips. He made me promise to drink it on my birthday.”
“Ah.” He stood up and walked over to me. I handed him the bottle so he could look over it. “This will be fun.” He was grinning ear to ear, his eyes gleaming devilishly.
“Why’s that?” I was suddenly suspicious.
“Because you’re going to hate it.”
He turned around and walked into the kitchen. I followed him already nervous for this. He opened the bottle immediately and then poured a small amount of the clear liquid into two tumblers. Handing me my own glass, he raised it in a toast.
“Happy birthday, Ellie,” he smiled down at me and clinked our glasses.
“Thank you.” And then we both took a sip. Holy cow! I came up sputtering. I was not expecting that burn, or the shocking sweetness.
He watched me amused as I struggled through the flavor. “Oh gosh, I’m not sure I like that.”
“Sure you do,” he laughed and poured a little more into my glass. “The more you drink, the better it will taste, I promise.”
I rolled my eyes at him. “Such sage wisdom. Just as long as you don’t try to get me drunk.”
“I have a feeling it wouldn’t take much,” He observed dryly.
“Shut it,” I warned and then took a much, much smaller drink.
His lips were twitching so I didn’t think he took my warning very seriously. “Ellie Harris, the first person ever that doesn’t want to get drunk on her twenty-first birthday. Have you always been this good of a kid?” he asked and got comfortable leaning up against the counter.
I set my glass aside for a moment, cleared a space on the counter and hopped up next to him. We were close, but we weren’t touching so I felt safe enough to relax. Picking up my glass again I took another sip. The burn wasn’t as bad this time, and the warm, sticky sweet taste of the sake went down much easier.
“Always,” I finally admitted. From this vantage point I had t
he rare opportunity to look down at Fin. He usually towered over me, but this was kind of nice. And it was also kind of nice to just be relaxing with him. As far as birthdays went, this one was good. “My parents have always had high expectations for me and I haven’t ever wanted to disappoint them. It’s probably silly, but between them and my brothers I haven’t had a lot of breathing room to be anything but good.”
“But they’re not in charge of your life now. Don’t you have any wild oats to sow?” he was smiling at me as if he already knew the answer.
I still said, “Not really. I’ve never really wanted to get drunk all the time or sleep around. Mostly I just want independence. More than anything I want for my family to stop hovering so much.”
“What about Colton? What was that?” His tone had gone dead, like he hated talking about Colton.
“Colton? I don’t know what he was. He was like…. a fluke,” I laughed bitterly. “I guess I wanted something of my own. Something to get me away from my family. We dated a long time but nothing really came out of it. We said ‘I love you’ but neither of us meant it.”
“He must have meant something to you, if you dated him for that long,” Fin pressed.
I shrugged. I had actually started to wonder that too. If maybe I wasn’t remembering him right because I was hurt over our breakup. We did have a sweet relationship when I was honest with myself and he was a good boyfriend a lot of the time, especially when we were in high school. I wondered if I wanted to remember it worse than it was so I wouldn’t have to hurt. I did know I never loved him. Looking back on the relationship now it just seemed really immature. Our breakup would have been inevitable whether he cheated or not.
“Oh, were you guys,” Fin paused to clear his throat, suddenly looking uncomfortable.
“Were we what?”
He visibly gathered courage before he asked, “Were you uh, sleeping together?”
“Oh my gosh! Fin!” I was going to die of embarrassment. What kind of question was that? “You cannot ask me that!”
He blushed, actually blushed. “Yeah, you’re right. Sorry, of course you were.”
“Please, stop,” I groaned letting my face fall into my hands. “Colton and I were not sleeping together. Ok, would you drop it?”
“You weren’t?” His head popped up and he looked at me with wide eyes. “You dated him for three years. You had to have been sleeping together.”
“Ok, stop right there. Before you tarnish my reputation anymore,” I paused for another itty bitty drink of the sake and then continued. “I told we, we might have said ‘I love you’ but we didn’t love each other. And that’s not something I just give away to anybody. When I finally decide to you know,” I cleared my throat. This was more awkward than when I had the sex talk with my mom. “When I finally decide to have sex it will be on my terms, with someone really special. Someone I really do love.”
Fin seemed floored by my little speech, “So you haven’t had sex with anybody?”
“No! Now can we drop it?”
“Yep.”
“Why do you look so smug?”
“I don’t”
“You do.”
“You just continue to surprise me, that’s all,” he was still smiling. Bastard.
“Surprise you? You mean there isn’t a past partners file in your Ellie Harris dossier?”
“I’ve just been waiting for all the facts,” he teased. “Now I can finally update it.”
I rolled my eyes while he poured more sake into our glasses. I was starting to feel different and knew I needed to slow down. I drank alcohol before, so it wasn’t like I didn’t know what to expect. My parents always let us drink wine and champagne on major holidays, but I had never been drunk before. My blood felt very heated, my body completely relaxed. I was starting to imagine all kinds of scenarios with Fin and kissing and this countertop…. I definitely needed to slow down.
“What about you?” I asked, ready to get more of my Fin Hunter questions answered.
“We are not talking about my sex life.”
I chuckled. “That is not what I meant. I would rather not have an updated file on your past partners. I meant, why are you so good? Where are your wild oats?”
“What makes you think I’m good? I run an illegal online gambling site, before y-“ he seemed to think better of whatever he was going to say because he cleared his throat and then continued, “Before a few weeks ago I didn’t exactly treat women with respect and we started out getting to know each other by you being terrified of me because I forced my way into your apartment and demanded a large sum of money. Why would you ever think I’m good?”
“Because you’re not any of those things,” I answered simply. “Ok, maybe you were scary at first, but you’re not anymore.”
“You don’t think I’m scary? I think I figured out why I don’t have my money yet.”
I shot him my most charming smile and took another drink. “No way, I don’t even think you’re trying anymore. Declan alone would be enough for me to think you’re amazing, but then there’s the grandma that you take care of. The track scholarship I know now was the only way for you to go to school and you picked a school close to home. Plus, these poker games are illegal but they’re fair and you make me do tedious research so you’re not ripping anybody off or allowing people to play that really shouldn’t be. And, you’ve always been a gentleman with me.”
He scoffed at that, “Really? I’ve been a gentleman with you? Like when I threw you against the wall over there, or had my way with you on the track the other night?” his voice dropped to that husky timber that made me shiver with desire.
I blushed thinking about him pressing me against his brick wall, or his lips kissing me in all those intimate places. Finally I whispered, “It wasn’t anything I didn’t want.”
Fin seemed stunned by my admission. He set his glass down next to him and walked in front of me, forcing my legs apart so he could stand in between them. The counter came up to just above his waist, so it was almost like I had my legs wrapped around him.
“Is that so?” he challenged.
I just nodded.
His eyes immediately ignited with a fire I wasn’t sure if I was ready to play with yet. I tried to scoot back, away from his body, away from this wicked things he was promising with his eyes. He took my glass out of my hand and I easily let it go. Setting it next to his on the counter, he returned his attention to me, with his fingers trailing up and down my jean clad thigh.
“I’ve never had a choice in my life but to be good, Ellie,” Fin explained casually, all the while electricity snapped and crackled between us. “I’ve had to make good decisions all my life because I’ve always had other people to take care of.”
I nodded, agreeing with what he was saying. It was true and my heart broke for the little kid Fin, the teenage Fin and the Fin in front of me that thought of everyone else but himself.
“I told you, you are good,” I whispered, my throat closed up with a mixture of anticipation and emotion.
“Good enough for you?” he asked in a rough voice. He looked up at me from underneath his thick eyelashes, his strong jaw ticking with some unnamed emotion. He looked vulnerable and…. hopeful.
But what could I tell him? This seemed impossible between us. He didn’t believe me about the debt, he didn’t trust me that I wasn’t the one that lost the money. Besides, he needed the money anyway, so it didn’t matter. And I’d already decided over and over again that my integrity was more important than a boy. No matter how much I wanted that boy.
I still found myself cupping his jaw with my hand, he was clean shaven and his skin was warm and smooth under my hand. “Finley Hunter, what a question.” I smiled down at him stalling. He was good enough for me; I didn’t want him to think that he wasn’t. Really I had been wondering lately if I was good enough for him. But I couldn’t lead him on.
“I think you should have more sake.” He leaned into my hand looking pained and disappointe
d. “If you can’t answer that question the way I want you to, then you definitely need more sake.”
“You are good enough for me,” I said quickly so he wouldn’t think differently. “That’s never what’s stopped me.”
“One day you’re not going to be able to fall back on your excuses,” he pinned me with his gaze, holding me paralyzed with just a look. This boy had power over me he didn’t even realize.
Eventually his words penetrated my distracted mind. “You think I’m just using excuses?” I wasn’t mad yet, but I could easily be if he belittled my reasons for protecting myself.
“I think you’re afraid of what’s building between us,” Fin answered firmly. “And I really think we should stop worrying about the money. You are making a much bigger deal out of it than it is.”
“Of course I’m afraid,” I snapped, ignoring what he said about the money. He didn’t understand my issue with losing my integrity over a hookup and I didn’t expect him to. “I feel this too, Fin.” I removed my hand from his face and looked away. I had to say this, even though it felt like I was revealing more of myself than I wanted to, than I could protect once it was out there. “This is real, I know that. And it’s killing me that we can’t do anything about it.”
“Tonight, Ellie. We can’t do anything about it, tonight.” And then his face softened into a seductive smile. He was getting better at navigating through our battlefields, I would give him that. But that only made me raise my defenses higher. A well-armed Fin was not good for this battle of attrition. “Come on, it’s time for you to go home.”
Now my head was spinning. “You are the most confusing person I’ve ever met.”