Late on Friday afternoon Renee closed up the office, still thinking about Lynne’s phone call from earlier. Laurie had telephoned with good news, or that was how the women considered the large hawk now stalking where Seth was being treated. Lynne had tried calling Sam, but Renee would tell him when she got home that night. Yet Marek was already aware, for Lynne had said she would call him. Then Renee smirked, but it turned into a slight giggle. The relief in Lynne’s voice had been palpable, the first time she had proof of Eric’s whereabouts. But Lynne had also mentioned how poorly was Seth’s mental state; Laurie had shared that too, as if preparing them for bad news. Renee didn’t fret about that. Eric had arrived safely and the rest was in God’s hands.

  As Renee locked the front door, the telephone rang. She rushed to answer it, then smiled. “Oh hello Vivian. You just caught me.”

  Renee could hear the chatter of small children in the background as Vivian requested a favor; her niece’s daughter had misplaced a stuffed bear. Might Renee check to see if the little girl had left it at the office?

  Setting down the receiver, Renee scanned the desk. Nothing matched Vivian’s description of a small brown stuffed animal wearing a distinctive plaid scarf. Then Renee hunted through the toy box in the reception room. Although few of Dr. Howard’s patients were children, the nurses had collected some playthings. At the bottom Renee found what might be the missing bear, the scarf sewn to the back, but hanging limply. As she returned to the phone, Renee tied the scarf securely, then described it to Vivian, who noted that was most likely it. If Renee had time, could she drop it off, as the family was heading back home tomorrow.

  Renee sighed inwardly, then replied that of course she could deliver the bear. She tapped her foot as Vivian thanked her profusely, then gave Renee her address. Vivian didn’t live far from the Aherns, for which Renee was grateful. She just wanted to get home to tell Sam the latest about Seth.

  She set the bear in her purse, headed to the office’s back door, then saw herself out. Driving away, Renee wondered what Sam would think about Eric and Seth; Sam would be as relieved as Renee that Eric was there, but also wondering what good Eric could do if Seth was so mentally unstable. Maybe Eric wouldn’t be gone long, not if Seth…. Renee shivered, then remembered she had one stop to make. She frowned, then glanced at her purse. Yet Vivian had done so much for Renee when Sam had been sick in April. This errand was the least Renee could do.

  Reaching Vivian’s street, Renee scanned the house numbers, then recognized Vivian’s car, parked in the driveway. A large wood-paneled station wagon sat in front of the house, probably that of Vivian’s niece. Renee hadn’t paid the family much attention, but that had been on purpose, for as soon as she spied the little boy’s bright blue eyes, a deep pain had rushed through her. It had been immediately compounded by his sister’s fiery red hair, a little girl now missing her favorite toy. Renee parked behind the station wagon, grabbing her handbag. Hopefully this was the bear, she thought, as she walked to the front door, then knocked. A young woman answered, her red hair and blue eyes reminiscent of her children. “You must be Mrs. Ahern, I think we met earlier this week. Aunt Vivian said you might’ve found Scooter.”

  Renee nodded, stepping inside. “Well, I found a toy that sounds close to what she described.” Reaching into her purse, she handed over the bear. “Sure hope this’s it.”

  “It is, oh my goodness, thank you so much!” The woman clasped the bear, then gave Renee a wide smile. “Oh you don’t know the half of it. Ann’s gonna be thrilled. My husband took them for a walk; we didn’t wanna raise her hopes. I’m Beth, by the way.”

  The woman stuck out her hand and Renee shook it. “Renee. Well, glad to be of help.”

  Vivian joined them, gazing at the bear in Beth’s hands. “Oh bless your heart Renee.” Then Vivian looked at Beth. “Well, now you’ll have a happy drive home. I can’t imagine how Ann would’ve been without that bear.”

  “She’d have been a bear,” Beth chuckled. “She’s been distracted all week, but last night, good grief. She was making Paul crazy, trying to take his.” Beth shook her head. “Now tonight we’ll all get some sleep.”

  “And you’ll need it,” Vivian laughed. “It’s a long drive home.”

  “Where do you live?” Renee asked.

  “Colorado,” Beth said. “Aunt Vivian’s always coming to see us, but my husband thought it was our turn for a road trip. We just got the station wagon; I think he wanted to take it for an extended spin.”

  Renee chuckled, then glanced into the living room. Open suitcases rested on the sofa, toys strewn about. “Well, sounds like other than one missing bear, you’ve had a good time.”

  Beth nodded. “We have. Now that the kids are older, we can travel more often.”

  “Well, unless Roy gets his way,” Vivian said slyly.

  Beth shook her head. “Two’s enough for me. If he wants another, he can have it.”

  Vivian giggled and Renee smiled. Then that same sentiment rumbled through her head; Frannie had said that to Renee when telling her about the twins. While Vivian and Beth kept chattering, Renee shivered, then asked God to help her move past that. Sam was eager for them to adopt, but Eric’s departure had interrupted. Maybe this errand was God’s way of reminding Renee that….

  “We should let you get home.” Vivian patted Renee’s shoulder. “But I do thank you for driving over here.”

  “We only live a few blocks away.” Renee took a deep breath, then smiled as she exhaled. “But yeah, Sam’s waiting for me.”

  “Tell him we appreciate his patience.” Vivian chuckled as she led Renee to the door. “How’s he feeling?”

  “Back to himself, thank you.” Renee smiled, then glanced at Beth. “Have a safe drive home.”

  “Oh, we will. And now it’ll be a relatively quiet one too. Nice meeting you again and yes, thanks a million for this.” Beth gripped the bear, then waved it in the air. “You’re a lifesaver.”

  Renee laughed. “Nope, just a nurse. See you Monday Vivian.”

  “Bright and early,” Vivian grinned.

  Renee nodded, walking briskly to her car. She made a three-point-turn while Vivian and Beth remained on the front lawn, waving as she drove away. When Renee reached the stop sign, a man approached the crosswalk, a child on either side of him. The girl’s red hair blew in the slight breeze while the boy gestured to nothing in particular. That must be…. Renee nodded at them, then the man met her gaze. He smiled as she nodded, then the trio skipped past her, their voices a pleasant hum. Renee thought she heard the man say something about Aunt Vivian, but he didn’t mention the missing toy. In her side mirror, Renee watched them walk along the sidewalk, then the father scooped up his daughter as the boy ran ahead. Renee said another prayer, then drove through the intersection, breathing deeply until she reached home.

  While doing dishes, Sam considered his wife’s news about those in Florida. At first Sam had been relieved, then slightly disturbed, the latter which he chalked up to Seth. If he was that unwell, would Eric’s presence make any difference? Sam missed his best friend, although he was glad not to be posing in front of the Chevy anymore. Yet even that would be all right, for since Eric left, a huge hole lingered in Sam’s heart. Then he gazed at Renee, who had been unusually quiet earlier that evening. Now she sat at the kitchen table, talking to her mother, their conversation nothing to do with what Renee had spilled to Sam. Renee and Marie spoke about Ritchie, who was again living under his parents’ roof. But this time, Sam discerned, maybe it was for more than to dry out.

  Marie seemed to be doing most of the talking, for Renee’s contributions were relegated to uh-huh’s and I see’s. Sam had said much the same when Renee told him that Eric was in Miami, and how bad Seth seemed. But something else was on Renee’s mind, yet Sam hadn’t prodded, too much on his own. And once she got off the phone, Sam might not have a chance to ask what else was going on, for Renee would feel compelled to reiterate family gossip. Sam wasn’t eager to learn
about Ritchie’s latest setback. From Renee’s anguished tone, even with few words expressed, Sam had to wonder if perhaps one Nolan offspring would indeed get a divorce.

  Yet, it wasn’t Renee. Sam inhaled that notion as he dumped out the washtub, then turned it upside down to dry. He sat beside his wife, who immediately gripped his hand. Renee’s fingers were cold and tears dotted her cheeks. Sam’s heart raced as she ended the phone call. Only once the receiver rested in its cradle did Renee let out a soft cry. “Mom says that Brenda’s saying she’s had enough. Oh Sam, I think this time Brenda might actually….”

  Sam embraced his wife as Renee shed a few tears. She wiped her face, then sighed. “But I can’t say I blame her. He’s never gonna get sober and….” Then Renee stared at Sam. “There’s something I need to tell you.”

  “What honey?” Whatever was bothering Renee probably wasn’t on the scale of what would keep Marie from sleeping that night, or the next several. What would trouble her more, Sam mused, that Ritchie would be divorced or that his drinking had caused it? Probably the former, Sam allowed. Then Sam stroked his wife’s face. Being a parent never ended, the worries ever present. Had Renee changed her mind again, Sam wondered. “Baby, just tell me. I love you.”

  Renee stood, then clutched the back of her chair. “We haven’t talked about adoption since Eric left. But he’s there now and even if Seth….” Renee paused, then shrugged. “Even if he doesn’t get better, that doesn’t have anything to do with….” She shook her head. “Seth or Ritchie, either one. Sam, I had to run an errand on my way home.” Renee explained that task and as she did, Sam’s heart pounded in his chest. Her tone was conciliatory, then she inhaled, letting it out slowly. “I know why that happened, because….” Renee retook her seat, grasping Sam’s hands. Her eyes were again filled with tears, but she smiled. “Maybe the timing isn’t great, but if not now Sam, we’ll never do it. Unless you’ve had second thoughts.” Her voice trailed off and she gazed at the floor. “And if you have, that’s fine.” Renee cleared her throat, then looked at her husband. “And I mean it. If you’ve….”

  Sam shook his head. “No, I still wanna….” Was the timing inappropriate, he wondered. Eric probably wouldn’t care and Renee’s mother might find another grandchild a welcome distraction. “I’ll call Father Markham tomorrow, double check with him about that orphanage. Oh honey, are you sure?”

  Excitement hedged Sam’s tone, but he couldn’t help it. This had to be why Renee was a little late that night, plus now she was even with Vivian. Sam had realized that small debt hanging over his wife’s head, not that he thought of it that way, but now Renee was even with her co-worker. Lynne would be thrilled for them and Sam hugged his wife, not needing words to express himself. Renee merely nodded, but her tears poured freely. By the time the Aherns went to bed, Renee was composed, but it took ages for Sam to fall asleep. All he pondered was calling their priest in the morning.

  Father Markham was on a retreat until the end of the month, Sam was informed by Father Riley, who said he would leave a message for the younger priest to return Sam’s call. On Saturday, the Aherns visited Lynne and Jane, but neither Sam nor Renee mentioned their decision. Lynne seemed preoccupied, but Jane was chatty, then the foursome was joined by Marek, who also acted pensive. But Sam and Renee didn’t inquire. They enjoyed time with their godchild, then talked about Jane on their way home.

  After the Aherns departed, Lynne put Jane down for a nap. Marek remained in the kitchen, and when Lynne returned, a letter waited on the table. Lynne sat across from her pastor, then she picked up the envelope. “Well,” she started, “do you have any guesses?”

  Marek gripped his mug, then took a small sip from it. “I don’t know anyone in Oslo, although….” He set down the coffee cup, then met Lynne’s gaze. “The handwriting is vaguely familiar. But I can’t imagine who this Mrs. Henrichsen could be.”

  For the first time, Lynne felt Marek was hiding something. If Eric was there, she would remain quiet while the men hashed out the possibilities. Yet, Marek had introduced this subject, and it would be rude of Lynne to ignore it. “Renee wondered if she might be someone you knew in Britain. But I suppose not.”

  “No, I didn’t know any Norwegians there.” Marek toyed with the mug’s handle, then he stood from the table, leaning back against the counter. He crossed his arms over his chest, then sighed. “I don’t know how much I can tell you about those days, how much of that time you would prefer not to know.”

  Lynne bristled; he didn’t mean his time in London. She nodded, then clasped her hands together, setting them on the table. “Eric’s told me a little, I mean….” She gazed around the room, wishing her husband was there. Then she looked at Marek, his brown eyes so mournful. “If this’s something you need to share, of course I’ll listen.”

  Lynne had never seen her pastor so pained. Marek retook his seat, then grasped the letter. “The handwriting is similar to someone I knew back home.” Then he sighed. “But it must be a coincidence. Occasionally that’s all these oddities are.”

  Now he smiled, which eased Lynne’s racing heart. “Maybe that’s all it is.”

  Marek shrugged, tracing the woman’s handwriting. “I’ve considered writing to her, just to satisfy my curiosity. But that would be presumptuous.”

  “Perhaps not,” Lynne said. “She asked a rather personal question.” Then Lynne smiled. “Jane might have Sam’s blue eyes, but her hair is the same color as yours.”

  “And yours,” Marek grinned. “Was she born with such blue eyes?”

  Lynne nodded. “They’ve never changed.”

  “An amazing hue, worthy of her father’s talent.” Then Marek cleared his throat. “I’ve been thinking of your husband and Seth, when not pondering this letter.” He placed the envelope back on the table. “I’d like to say I feel Eric will be home soon but….”

  “Perhaps it’s best to not think about it.” Lynne couldn’t help but set her hand on her belly. “I wish Laurie knew the truth.”

  Marek looked startled, then he chuckled. “That would be handy for us, if not a lot for Laurie to ponder.”

  “We all seem to have too much on our minds.” Lynne reached for her glass of water, then sipped slowly. “But maybe that helps. We can’t obsess over just one issue.”

  “Indeed.” Marek finished his coffee, setting the mug next to the letter. “Well, I should be on my way.” He stood, taking his cup to the sink. When he turned around, Lynne waited near the counter, the envelope in her hand.

  Marek gazed at it, then at Lynne. “Are you sure?” he asked.

  “Eric won’t miss it. Maybe it wasn’t for him in the first place.”

  Marek chuckled. “Perhaps not.” Then he sighed. “She was someone I grew up with, someone dear to me.” Gingerly he took the letter from Lynne’s hand. “Or maybe I want her to be that person. She’s Mrs. Henrichsen, if nothing else. And yes, perhaps this wasn’t for Eric after all.”

  “Might she still be alive?” Lynne asked softly.

  “Maybe. I honestly don’t know.”

  His tone was haunted, making Lynne shiver. Their eyes met, a flicker of anguish in Marek’s gaze. Lynne brushed away tears, first her own, then a few that rolled down her pastor’s cheeks. Yet more caught in his beard, which made him smile. “It’s like thinking about another life, one not even my own anymore.” He sighed, then continued. “I’ll just answer her query. That no, I’m only an uncle. But a very blessed one at that.” Marek wiped his face, then smiled. “And if she writes again, perhaps I’ll end up with a pen pal. Thank goodness she knows English or someone who does.”

  Lynne nodded, but couldn’t speak. Marek said nothing more, silently taking his leave, the envelope gripped tightly in his hand.

  Chapter 123