THE THIRD STORY
[Day the Seventh]
FRA RINALDO LIETH WITH HIS GOSSIP AND BEING FOUND OF HER HUSBAND CLOSETED WITH HER IN HER CHAMBER, THEY GIVE HIM TO BELIEVE THAT HE WAS IN ACT TO CONJURE WORMS FROM HIS GODSON
Filostrato had not known to speak so obscurely of the mares of Parthiabut that the roguish ladies laughed thereat, making believe to laughat otherwhat. But, when the king saw that his story was ended, he badeElisa tell, who accordingly, with obedient readiness, began, "Charmingladies, Emilia's conjuration of the phantom hath brought to my memorythe story of another conjuration, which latter, though it be not sogoodly as hers, nevertheless, for that none other bearing upon oursubject occurreth to me at this present, I will proceed to relate.
You must know that there was once in Siena a very agreeable young manand of a worshipful family, by name Rinaldo, who was passionatelyenamored of a very beautiful lady, a neighbour of his and the wife ofa rich man, and flattered himself that, could he but find means tospeak with her unsuspected, he might avail to have of her all that heshould desire. Seeing none other way and the lady being great withchild, he bethought himself to become her gossip and accordingly,clapping up an acquaintance with her husband, he offered him, on suchwise as appeared to him most seemly, to be godfather to his child. Hisoffer was accepted and he being now become Madam Agnesa's gossip andhaving a somewhat more colourable excuse for speaking with her, hetook courage and gave her in so many words to know that of his intentwhich she had indeed long before gathered from his looks; but littledid this profit him, although the lady was nothing displeased to haveheard him.
Not long after, whatever might have been the reason, it came to passthat Rinaldo turned friar and whether or not he found the pasturage tohis liking, he persevered in that way of life; and albeit, in the daysof his becoming a monk, he had for awhile laid on one side the love hebore his gossip, together with sundry other vanities of his, yet, inprocess of time, without quitting the monk's habit, he resumedthem[345] and began to delight in making a show and wearing finestuffs and being dainty and elegant in all his fashions and makingcanzonets and sonnets and ballads and in singing and all manner otherthings of the like sort. But what say I of our Fra Rinaldo, of whom wespeak? What monks are there that do not thus? Alack, shame that theyare of the corrupt world, they blush not to appear fat and ruddy inthe face, dainty in their garb and in all that pertaineth unto them,and strut along, not like doves, but like very turkey-cocks, withcrest erect and breast puffed out; and what is worse (to say nothingof having their cells full of gallipots crammed with electuaries andunguents, of boxes full of various confections, of phials and flagonsof distilled waters and oils, of pitchers brimming with Malmsey andCyprus and other wines of price, insomuch that they seem to thebeholder not friars' cells, but rather apothecaries' or perfumers'shops) they think no shame that folk should know them to be gouty,conceiving that others see not nor know that strict fasting, coarseviands and spare and sober living make men lean and slender and forthe most part sound of body, and that if indeed some sicken thereof,at least they sicken not of the gout, whereto it is used to give, formedicine, chastity and everything else that pertaineth to the naturalway of living of an honest friar. Yet they persuade themselves thatothers know not that,--let alone the scant and sober living,--longvigils, praying and discipline should make men pale and mortified andthat neither St. Dominic nor St. Francis, far from having four gownsfor one, clad themselves in cloth dyed in grain nor in other finestuffs, but in garments of coarse wool and undyed, to keep out thecold and not to make a show. For which things, as well as for thesouls of the simpletons who nourish them, there is need that Godprovide.
[Footnote 345: _i.e._ the discarded vanities aforesaid.]
Fra Rinaldo, then, having returned to his former appetites, began topay frequent visits to his gossip and waxing in assurance, proceededto solicit her with more than his former instancy to that which hedesired of her. The good lady, seeing herself hard pressed and FraRinaldo seeming to her belike goodlier than she had thought himaforetime, being one day sore importuned of him, had recourse to thatargument which all women use who have a mind to yield that which isasked of them and said, 'How now, Fra Rinaldo? Do monks such things?''Madam,' answered he, 'when as I shall have this gown off myback,--and I can put it off mighty easily,--I shall appear to you aman fashioned like other men and not a monk.' The lady pulled a demureface and said, 'Alack, wretched me! You are my gossip; how can I dothis? It were sadly ill, and I have heard many a time that it is avery great sin; but, certes, were it not for this, I would do thatwhich you wish.' Quoth Fra Rinaldo, 'You are a simpleton, if youforbear for this; I do not say that it is not a sin, but God pardonethgreater than this to whoso repenteth. But tell me, who is more akin toyour child, I who held him at baptism or your husband who begat him?''My husband is more akin to him,' answered the lady; whereupon, 'Yousay sooth,' rejoined the friar. 'And doth not your husband lie withyou?' 'Ay doth he,' replied she. 'Then,' said Fra Rinaldo, 'I, who amless akin to your child than is your husband, may lie with you evenas doth he.' The lady, who knew no logic and needed little persuasion,either believed or made a show of believing that the friar spoke thetruth and answered, 'Who might avail to answer your learned words?'And after, notwithstanding the gossipship, she resigned herself to dohis pleasure; nor did they content themselves with one bout, butforegathered many and many a time, having the more commodity thereofunder cover of the gossipship, for that there was less suspicion.
But once, amongst other times, it befell that Fra Rinaldo, coming tothe lady's house and finding none with her but a little maid of hers,who was very pretty and agreeable, despatched his comrade with thelatter to the pigeon-loft, to teach her her Paternoster, and enteredwith the lady, who had her child in her hand, into her bedchamber,where they locked themselves in and fell to taking their pleasure upona daybed that was there. As they were thus engaged, it chanced thatthe husband came home and making for the bedchamber-door, unperceivedof any, knocked and called to the lady, who, hearing this, said to thefriar, 'I am a dead woman, for here is my husband, and now he willcertainly perceive what is the reason of our familiarity.' Now Rinaldowas stripped to his waistcoat, to wit, he had put off his gown and hisscapulary, and hearing this, answered, 'You say sooth; were I butdressed, there might be some means; but, if you open to him and hefind me thus, there can be no excuse for us.' The lady, seized with asudden idea, said, 'Harkye, dress yourself and when you are dressed,take your godchild in your arms and hearken well to that which I shallsay to him, so your words may after accord with mine, and leave medo.' Then, to the good man, who had not yet left knocking, 'I come tothee,' quoth she and rising, opened the chamber-door and said, with agood countenance, 'Husband mine, I must tell thee that Fra Rinaldo,our gossip, is come hither and it was God sent him to us; for, certes,but for his coming, we should to-day have lost our child.'
The good simple man, hearing this, was like to swoon and said, 'Howso?' 'O husband mine,' answered Agnesa, 'there took him but now of asudden a fainting-fit, that methought he was dead, and I knew not whatto do or say; but just then Fra Rinaldo our gossip came in and takinghim in his arms, said, "Gossip, these be worms he hath in his body,the which draw near to his heart and would infallibly kill him; buthave no fear, for I will conjure them and make them all die; and ere Igo hence, you shall see the child whole again as ever you saw him."And for that we had need of thee to repeat certain orisons and thatthe maid could not find thee, he caused his comrade say them in thehighest room of our house, whilst he and I came hither and lockedourselves in, so none should hinder us, for that none other than thechild's mother might be present at such an office. Indeed, he hath thechild yet in his arms and methinketh he waiteth but for his comrade tohave made an end of saying the orisons and it will be done, for thatthe boy is already altogether restored to himself.' The good simpleman, believing all this, was so straitened with concern for his childthat it never entered his mind to suspect the cheat put upon him byhis
wife; but, heaving a great sigh, he said, 'I will go see him.''Nay,' answered she, 'thou wouldst mar that which hath been done.Wait; I will go see an thou mayst come in and call thee.'
Meanwhile, Fra Rinaldo, who had heard everything and had dressedhimself at his leisure, took the child in his arms and called out, assoon as he had ordered matters to his mind, saying, 'Harkye, gossip,hear I not my gossip your husband there?' 'Ay, sir,' answered thesimpleton; whereupon, 'Then,' said the other, 'come hither.' Thecuckold went to him and Fra Rinaldo said to him, 'Take your son by thegrace of God whole and well, whereas I deemed but now you would notsee him alive at vespers; and look you let make a waxen image of hisbigness and set it up, to the praise and glory of God, before thestatue of our lord St. Ambrose, through whose intercession He hathvouchsafed to restore him unto you.' The child, seeing his father, ranto him and caressed him, as little children used to do, whilst thelatter, taking him, weeping, in his arms, no otherwise than as he hadbrought him forth of the grave, fell to kissing him and returningthanks to his gossip for that he had made him whole.
Meanwhile, Fra Rinaldo's comrade, who had by this taught theserving-wench not one, but maybe more than four paternosters, and hadgiven her a little purse of white thread, which he had from a nun, andmade her his devotee, hearing the cuckold call at his wife'schamber-door, had softly betaken himself to a place whence he could,himself unseen, both see and hear what should betide and presently,seeing that all had passed off well, came down and entering thechamber, said, 'Fra Rinaldo, I have despatched all four of the orisonswhich you bade me say.' 'Brother mine,' answered the friar, 'thou hasta good wind and hast done well; I, for my part, had said but twothereof, when my gossip came; but God the Lord, what with thy painsand mine, hath shown us such favour that the child is healed.'Therewithal the cuckold let bring good wines and confections andentertained his gossip and the latter's comrade with that whereof theyhad more need than of aught else. Then, attending them to the door, hecommended them to God and letting make the waxen image without delay,he sent to hang it up with the others[346] before the statue of St.Ambrose, but not that of Milan."[347]
[Footnote 346: _i.e._ the other ex votos.]
[Footnote 347: There is apparently some satirical allusion here, whichI cannot undertake to explain.]