THE FOURTH STORY

  [Day the Seventh]

  TOFANO ONE NIGHT SHUTTETH HIS WIFE OUT OF DOORS, WHO, AVAILING NOT TO RE-ENTER BY DINT OF ENTREATIES, FEIGNETH TO CAST HERSELF INTO A WELL AND CASTETH THEREIN A GREAT STONE. TOFANO COMETH FORTH OF THE HOUSE AND RUNNETH THITHER, WHEREUPON SHE SLIPPETH IN AND LOCKING HIM OUT, BAWLETH REPROACHES AT HIM FROM THE WINDOW

  The king no sooner perceived Elisa's story to be ended than, turningwithout delay to Lauretta, he signified to her his pleasure that sheshould tell; whereupon she, without hesitation, began thus, "O Love,how great and how various is thy might! How many thy resources and thydevices! What philosopher, what craftsman[348] could ever have availedor might avail to teach those shifts, those feints, those subterfugeswhich thou on the spur of the moment suggestest to whoso ensueth inthy traces! Certes, all others' teaching is halting compared withthine, as may very well have been apprehended by the devices whichhave already been set forth and to which, lovesome ladies, I will addone practised by a woman of a simple wit enough and such as I knownone but Love could have taught her.

  [Footnote 348: Syn. professor of the liberal arts (_artista_).]

  There was once, then, in Arezzo, a rich man called Tofano and he wasgiven to wife a very fair lady, by name Madam Ghita, of whom, withoutknowing why, he quickly waxed jealous. The lady, becoming aware ofthis, was despited thereat and questioned him once and again of thereason of his jealousy; but he was able to assign her none, save suchas were general and naught; wherefore it occurred to her mind to causehim die of the disease whereof he stood without reason in fear.Accordingly, perceiving that a young man, who was much to her taste,sighed for her, she proceeded discreetly to come to an understandingwith him and things being so far advanced between them that therelacked but with deeds to give effect to words, she cast about for ameans of bringing this also to pass; wherefore, having alreadyremarked, amongst her husband's other ill usances, that he delightedin drinking, she began not only to commend this to him, but wouldoften artfully incite him thereto. This became so much his wont that,well nigh whensoever it pleased her, she led him to drink even tointoxication, and putting him to bed whenas she saw him well drunken,she a first time foregathered with her lover, with whom many a timethereafter she continued to do so in all security. Indeed, she grew toput such trust in her husband's drunkenness that not only did she makebold to bring her gallant into the house, but went whiles to pass agreat part of the night with him in his own house, which was not veryfar distant.

  The enamoured lady continuing on this wise, it befell that thewretched husband came to perceive that she, whilst encouraging him todrink, natheless herself drank never; wherefore suspicion took himthat it might be as in truth it was, to wit, that she made himdrunken, so she might after do her pleasure what while he slept, andwishing to make proof of this, an it were so, he one evening, nothaving drunken that day, feigned himself, both in words and fashions,the drunkenest man that was aye. The lady, believing this and judgingthat he needed no more drink, put him to bed in all haste and thisdone, betook herself, as she was used to do whiles, to the house ofher lover, where she abode till midnight. As for Tofano, no sooner didhe know the lady to have left the house than he straightway arose andgoing to the doors, locked them from within; after which he postedhimself at the window, so he might see her return and show her that hehad gotten wind of her fashions; and there he abode till such time asshe came back. The lady, returning home and finding herself lockedout, was beyond measure woeful and began to essay an she might availto open the door by force, which, after Tofano had awhile suffered,'Wife,' quoth he, 'thou weariest thyself in vain, for thou canstnowise come in here again. Go, get thee back whereas thou hast beentill now and be assured that thou shalt never return thither till suchtime as I shall have done thee, in respect of this affair, such honouras beseemeth thee in the presence of thy kinsfolk and of theneighbours.'

  The lady fell to beseeching him for the love of God that it wouldplease him open to her, for that she came not whence he supposed, butfrom keeping vigil with a she-neighbour of hers, for that the nightswere long and she could not sleep them all out nor watch at homealone. However, prayers profited her nought, for that her brute of ahusband was minded to have all the Aretines[349] know their shame,whereas none as yet knew it; wherefore, seeing that prayers availedher not, she had recourse to threats and said, 'An thou open not tome, I will make thee the woefullest man alive.' 'And what canst thoudo to me?' asked Tofano, and Mistress Tessa, whose wits Love hadalready whetted with his counsels, replied, 'Rather than brook theshame which thou wouldst wrongfully cause me suffer, I will castmyself into this well that is herenigh, where when I am found dead,there is none will believe otherwise than that thou, for verydrunkenness, hast cast me therein; wherefore it will behove thee fleeand lose all thou hast and abide in banishment or have thy head cutoff for my murderer, as thou wilt in truth have been.'

  [Footnote 349: _i.e._ inhabitants of Arezzo.]

  Tofano was nowise moved by these words from his besotted intent;wherefore quoth she to him, 'Harkye now, I can no longer brook thisthy fashery, God pardon it thee! Look thou cause lay up[350] thisdistaff of mine that I leave here.' So saying, the night being so darkthat one might scarce see other by the way, she went up to the welland taking a great stone that lay thereby, cried out, 'God pardon me!'and let it drop into the water. The stone, striking the water, made avery great noise, which when Tofano heard, he verily believed that shehad cast herself in; wherefore, snatching up the bucket and the rope,he rushed out of the house and ran to the well to succour her. Thelady, who had hidden herself near the door, no sooner saw him run tothe well than she slipped into the house and locked herself in; then,getting her to the window, 'You should water your wine, whenas youdrink it,' quoth she, 'and not after and by night.' Tofano, hearingthis, knew himself to have been fooled and returned to the door, butcould get no admission and proceeded to bid her open to him; but sheleft speaking softly, as she had done till then, and began, well nighat a scream, to say, 'By Christ His Cross, tiresome sot that thou art,thou shalt not enter here to-night; I cannot brook these thy fashionsany longer; needs must I let every one see what manner of man thou artand at what hour thou comest home anights.' Tofano, on his side,flying into a rage, began to rail at her and bawl; whereupon theneighbours, hearing the clamour, arose, both men and women, and comingto the windows, asked what was to do. The lady answered, weeping, 'Itis this wretch of a man, who still returneth to me of an evening,drunken, or falleth asleep about the taverns and after cometh home atthis hour; the which I have long suffered, but, it availing me not andI being unable to put up with it longer, I have bethought me to shamehim therefor by locking him out of doors, to see and he will mendhimself thereof.'

  [Footnote 350: _Riporre_, possibly a mistake for _riportare_, to fetchback.]

  Tofano, on the other hand, told them, like an ass as he was, how thecase stood and threatened her sore; but she said to the neighbours,'Look you now what a man he is! What would you say, were I in thestreet, as he is, and he in the house, as am I? By God His faith, Idoubt me you would believe he said sooth. By this you may judge of hiswits; he saith I have done just what methinketh he hath himself done.He thought to fear me by casting I know not what into the well; butwould God he had cast himself there in good sooth and drowned himself,so he might have well watered the wine which he hath drunken toexcess.' The neighbours, both men and women, all fell to blamingTofano, holding him at fault, and chid him for that which he saidagainst the lady; and in a short time the report was so noised abroadfrom neighbour to neighbour that it reached the ears of the lady'skinsfolk, who came thither and hearing the thing from one and anotherof the neighbours, took Tofano and gave him such a drubbing that theybroke every bone in his body. Then, entering the house, they took thelady's gear and carried her off home with them, threatening Tofanowith worse. The latter, finding himself in ill case and seeing thathis jealousy had brought him to a sorry pass, for that he still loved
his wife heartily,[351] procured certain friends to intercede for himand so wrought that he made his peace with the lady and had her homeagain with him, promising her that he would never be jealous again.Moreover, he gave her leave to do her every pleasure, provided shewrought so discreetly that he should know nothing thereof; and on thiswise, like a crack-brained churl as he was, he made peace aftersuffering damage. So long live Love and death to war and all itscompany!"

  [Footnote 351: Lit. wished her all his weal.]