THE FIFTH STORY
[Day the Seventh]
A JEALOUS HUSBAND, IN THE GUISE OF A PRIEST, CONFESSETH HIS WIFE, WHO GIVETH HIM TO BELIEVE THAT SHE LOVETH A PRIEST, WHO COMETH TO HER EVERY NIGHT; AND WHILST THE HUSBAND SECRETLY KEEPETH WATCH AT THE DOOR FOR THE LATTER, THE LADY BRINGETH IN A LOVER OF HERS BY THE ROOF AND LIETH WITH HIM
Lauretta having made an end of her story and all having commended thelady for that she had done aright and even as befitted her wretch of ahusband, the king, to lose no time, turned to Fiammetta andcourteously imposed on her the burden of the story-telling; whereuponshe began thus, "Most noble ladies, the foregoing story moveth me totell you, on like wise, of a jealous husband, accounting, as I do, allthat their wives do unto such,--particularly whenas they are jealouswithout cause,--to be well done and holding that, if the makers of thelaws had considered everything, they should have appointed none otherpenalty unto women who offend in this than that which they appointunto whoso offendeth against other in self-defence; for that jealousmen are plotters against the lives of young women and most diligentprocurers of their deaths. Wives abide all the week mewed up at home,occupying themselves with domestic offices and the occasions of theirfamilies and households, and after they would fain, like every oneelse, have some solace and some rest on holidays and be at leisure totake some diversion even as do the tillers of the fields, the artisansof the towns and the administrators of the laws, according to theexample of God himself, who rested from all His labours the seventhday, and to the intent of the laws, both human and Divine, which,looking to the honour of God and the common weal of all, havedistinguished working days from those of repose. But to this jealousmen will on no wise consent; nay, those days which are gladsome forall other women they make wretcheder and more doleful than the othersto their wives, keeping them yet closelier straitened and confined;and what a misery and a languishment this is for the poor creaturesthose only know who have proved it. Wherefore, to conclude, I say thatwhat a woman doth to a husband who is jealous without cause shouldcertes not be condemned, but rather commended.
There was, then, in Arimino a merchant, very rich both in lands andmonies, who, having to wife a very fair lady, became beyond measurejealous of her; nor had he other cause for this save that, as he lovedher exceedingly and held her very fair and saw that she studied withall her might to please him, even so he imagined that every man lovedher and that she appeared fair to all and eke that she studied toplease others as she did himself, which was the reasoning of a man ofnought and one of little sense. Being grown thus jealous, he kept suchstrict watch over her and held her in such constraint that belike manythere be of those who are condemned to capital punishment who are lessstraitly guarded of their gaolers; for, far from being at liberty togo to weddings or entertainments or to church or indeed anywise to setfoot without the house, she dared not even stand at the window norlook abroad on any occasion; wherefore her life was most wretched andshe brooked this annoy with the more impatience as she felt herselfthe less to blame. Accordingly, seeing herself unjustly suspected ofher husband, she determined, for her own solacement, to find a means(an she but might) of doing on such wise that he should have reasonfor his ill usage of her. And for that she might not station herselfat the window and so had no opportunity of showing herself favourableto the suit of any one who might take note of her, as he passed alongher street, and pay his court to her,--knowing that in the adjoininghouse there was a certain young man both handsome and agreeable,--shebethought herself to look if there were any hole in the wall thatparted the two houses and therethrough to spy once and again till suchtime as she should see the youth aforesaid and find an occasion ofspeaking with him and bestowing on him her love, so he would acceptthereof, purposing, if a means could be found, to foregather with himbytimes and on this wise while away her sorry life till such time asthe demon [of jealousy] should take leave of her husband.
Accordingly, she went spying about the walls of the house, now in onepart and now in another, whenas her husband was abroad, and happenedat last upon a very privy place where the wall was somewhat opened bya fissure and looking therethrough, albeit she could ill discover whatwas on the other side, algates she perceived that the opening gaveupon a bedchamber there and said in herself, 'Should this be thechamber of Filippo,' to wit, the youth her neighbour, 'I were halfsped.' Then, causing secretly enquire of this by a maid of hers, whohad pity upon her, she found that the young man did indeed sleep inthat chamber all alone; wherefore, by dint of often visiting thecrevice and dropping pebbles and such small matters, whenas sheperceived him to be there, she wrought on such wise that he came tothe opening, to see what was to do; whereupon she called to himsoftly. He, knowing her voice, answered her, and she, profiting by theoccasion, discovered to him in brief all her mind; whereat the youthwas mightily content and made shift to enlarge the hole from his sideon such wise that none could perceive it; and therethrough they many atime bespoke one another and touched hands, but could go no farther,for the jealous vigilance of the husband.
After awhile, the Feast of the Nativity drawing near, the lady toldher husband that, an it pleased him, she would fain go to church onChristmas morning and confess and take the sacrament, as otherChristians did. Quoth he, 'And what sin hast thou committed that thouwouldst confess?' 'How?' answered the lady. 'Thinkest thou that I am asaint, because thou keepest me mewed up? Thou must know well enoughthat I commit sins like all others that live in this world; but I willnot tell them to thee, for that thou art not a priest.' The jealouswretch took suspicion at these words and determined to seek to knowwhat sins she had committed; wherefore, having bethought himself of ameans whereby he might gain his end, he answered that he was content,but that he would have her go to no other church than their parishchapel and that thither she must go betimes in the morning and confessherself either to their chaplain or to such priest as the lattershould appoint her and to none other and presently return home.Herseemed she half apprehended his meaning; but without sayingotherwhat, she answered that she would do as he said.
Accordingly, Christmas Day come, the lady arose at daybreak andattiring herself, repaired to the church appointed her of her husband,who, on his part, betook himself to the same place and reached itbefore her. Having already taken order with the chaplain of that whichhe had a mind to do, he hastily donned one of the latter's gowns, witha great flapped cowl, such as we see priests wear, and drawing thehood a little over his face, seated himself in the choir. The lady,entering the chapel, enquired for the chaplain, who came and hearingfrom her that she would fain confess, said that he could not hear her,but would send her one of his brethren. Accordingly, going away, hesent her the jealous man, in an ill hour for the latter, who came upwith a very grave air, and albeit the day was not over bright and hehad drawn the cowl far over his eyes, knew not so well to disguisehimself but he was readily recognized by the lady, who, seeing this,said in herself, 'Praised be God! From a jealous man he is turnedpriest; but no matter; I will e'en give him what he goeth seeking.'
Accordingly, feigning not to know him, she seated herself at his feet.My lord Jealousy had put some pebbles in his mouth, to impede hisspeech somewhat, so his wife might not know him by his voice,himseeming he was in every other particular so thoroughly disguisedthat he was nowise fearful of being recognized by her. To come to theconfession, the lady told him, amongst other things, (having firstdeclared herself to be married,) that she was enamoured of a priest,who came every night to lie with her. When the jealous man heard this,himseemed he had gotten a knife-thrust in the heart, and had notdesire constrained him to know more, he had abandoned the confessionand gone away. Standing fast, then, he asked the lady, 'How! Doth notyour husband lie with you?' 'Ay doth he, sir,' replied she. 'How,then,' asked the jealous man, 'can the priest also lie with you?''Sir,' answered she, 'by what art he doth it I know not, but there isnot a door in the house so fast locked but it openeth so soon as hetoucheth it; and he telleth me that, whenas he cometh to
the door ofmy chamber, before opening it, he pronounceth certain words, by virtuewhereof my husband incontinent falleth asleep, and so soon as heperceiveth him to be fast, he openeth the door and cometh in and liethwith me; and this never faileth.' Quoth the mock priest, 'Madam, thisis ill done, and it behoveth you altogether to refrain therefrom.''Sir,' answered the lady, 'methinketh I could never do that, for thatI love him too well.' 'Then,' said the other, 'I cannot shrive you.'Quoth she, 'I am grieved for that; but I came not hither to tell youlies; an I thought I could do it, I would tell you so.' 'In truth,madam,' replied the husband, 'I am concerned for you, for that I seeyou lose your soul at this game; but, to do you service, I will wellto take the pains of putting up my special orisons to God in yourname, the which maybe shall profit you, and I will send you bytimes alittle clerk of mine, to whom you shall say if they have profited youor not; and if they have profited you, we will proceed farther.''Sir,' answered the lady, 'whatever you do, send none to me at home,for, should my husband come to know of it, he is so terribly jealousthat nothing in the world would get it out of his head that yourmessenger came hither for nought[352] but ill, and I should have nopeace with him this year to come.' Quoth the other, 'Madam, have nofear of that, for I will certainly contrive it on such wise that youshall never hear a word of the matter from him.' Then said she, 'Sobut you can engage to do that, I am content.' Then, having made herconfession and gotten her penance, she rose to her feet and went offto hear mass; whilst the jealous man, (ill luck go with him!)withdrew, bursting with rage, to put off his priest's habit, andreturned home, impatient to find a means of surprising the priest withhis wife, so he might play the one and the other an ill turn.
[Footnote 352: Boccaccio writes carelessly "for _aught_" (_altro_),which makes nonsense of the passage.]
Presently the lady came back from church and saw plainly enough fromher husband's looks that she had given him an ill Christmas; albeit hestudied, as most he might, to conceal that which he had done and whathimseemed he had learned. Then, being inwardly resolved to lie in waitnear the street-door that night and watch for the priest's coming, hesaid to the lady, 'Needs must I sup and lie abroad to-night, whereforelook thou lock the street-door fast, as well as that of the midstairand that of thy chamber, and get thee to bed, whenas it seemeth goodto thee.' The lady answered, 'It is well,' and betaking herself, assoon as she had leisure, to the hole in the wall, she made the wontedsignal, which when Filippo heard, he came to her forthright. She toldhim how she had done that morning and what her husband had said to herafter dinner and added, 'I am certain he will not leave the house, butwill set himself to watch the door; wherefore do thou find means tocome hither to me to-night by the roof, so we may lie together.' Theyoung man was mightily rejoiced at this and answered, 'Madam, leave medo.'
Accordingly, the night come, the jealous man took his arms and hidhimself by stealth in a room on the ground floor, whilst the lady,whenas it seemed to her time,--having caused lock all the doors and inparticular that of the midstair, so he might not avail to comeup,--summoned the young man, who came to her from his side by a veryprivy way. Thereupon they went to bed and gave themselves a good time,taking their pleasure one of the other till daybreak, when the youngman returned to his own house. Meanwhile, the jealous man stood to hisarms well nigh all night beside the street-door, sorry and supperlessand dying of cold, and waited for the priest to come till near uponday, when, unable to watch any longer, he returned to the ground floorroom and there fell asleep. Towards tierce he awoke and the streetdoor being now open, he made a show of returning from otherwhere andwent up into his house and dined. A little after, he sent a lad, as hewere the priest's clerkling that had confessed her, to the lady to askif she wot of were come thither again. She knew the messenger wellenough and answered that he had not come thither that night and thatif he did thus, he might haply pass out of her mind, albeit she wishedit not. What more should I tell you? The jealous man abode on thewatch night after night, looking to catch the priest at his enteringin, and the lady still had a merry life with her lover the while.
At length the cuckold, able to contain himself no longer, asked hiswife, with an angry air, what she had said to the priest the morningshe had confessed herself to him. She answered that she would not tellhim, for that it was neither a just thing nor a seemly; whereupon,'Vile woman that thou art!' cried he. 'In despite of thee I know whatthou saidst to him, and needs must I know the priest of whom thou artso mightily enamoured and who, by means of his conjurations, liethwith thee every night; else will I slit thy weasand.' She replied thatit was not true that she was enamoured of any priest. 'How?' cried thehusband, 'Saidst thou not thus and thus to the priest who confessedthee?' And she, 'Thou couldst not have reported it better, not to sayif he had told it thee, but if thou hadst been present; ay, I did tellhim this.' 'Then,' rejoined the jealous man, 'tell me who is thispriest, and that quickly.'
The lady fell a-smiling and answered, 'It rejoiceth me mightily to seea wise man led by the nose by a woman, even as one leadeth a ram bythe horns to the shambles, albeit thou art no longer wise nor hastbeen since the hour when, unknowing why, thou sufferedst the malignantspirit of jealousy to enter thy breast; and the sillier and morebesotted thou art, so much the less is my glory thereof. Deemest thou,husband mine, I am as blind of the eyes of the body as thou of thoseof the mind? Certes, no; I perceived at first sight who was the priestthat confessed me and know that thou wast he; but I had it at heart togive thee that which thou wentest seeking, and in sooth I have doneit. Wert thou as wise as thou thinkest to be, thou wouldst not haveessayed by this means to learn the secrets of thy good wife, butwouldst, without taking vain suspicion, have recognized that which sheconfessed to thee to be the very truth, without her having sinned inaught. I told thee that I loved a priest, and wast not thou, whom I ammuch to blame to love as I do, become a priest? I told thee that nodoor of my house could abide locked, whenas he had a mind to lie withme; and what door in the house was ever kept against thee, whenas thouwouldst come whereas I might be? I told thee that the priest lay withme every night, and when was it that thou layest not with me? Andwhenassoever thou sentest thy clerk to me, which was thou knowest, asoften as thou layest from me, I sent thee word that the priest had notbeen with me. What other than a crack-brain like thee, who hassuffered thyself to be blinded by thy jealousy, had failed tounderstand these things? Thou hast abidden in the house, keepingwatch anights, and thoughtest to have given me to believe that thouwast gone abroad to sup and sleep. Bethink thee henceforth and becomea man again, as thou wast wont to be; and make not thyself a laughingstock to whoso knoweth thy fashions, as do I, and leave thisunconscionable watching that thou keepest; for I swear to God that, anthe fancy took me to make thee wear the horns, I would engage, haddestthou an hundred eyes, as thou hast but two, to do my pleasure on suchwise that thou shouldst not be ware thereof.'
The jealous wretch, who thought to have very adroitly surprised hiswife's secrets, hearing this, avouched himself befooled and withoutanswering otherwhat, held the lady for virtuous and discreet; andwhenas it behoved him to be jealous, he altogether divested himself ofhis jealousy, even as he had put it on, what time he had no needthereof. Wherefore the discreet lady, being in a manner licensed to doher pleasures, thenceforward no longer caused her lover to come to herby the roof, as go the cats, but e'en brought him in at the door, anddealing advisedly, many a day thereafter gave herself a good time andled a merry life with him."